>Are you employed, sir?

How do you respond without sounding unemployed?

>>211777364 (OP)
I was taking care of my father, the current gap in my resume is completely voluntarily

>>211777364 (OP)
"business papers"

I just was made aware that I have had the dream job of stay at home son for the past 21 years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWu2fY9Pu-c


wagie thread?

That's just like your opinion man. Cripple cuck faggot piece of shit, your wife sucked my cock for a thousand dollars, I'll literally kill you, you fucking wheelchair freak piece of shit

>>211777602
are you 21 or 39

Technically by the definition of employed that the government uses in its census in order to create the unemployment figure, I am employed since I work at least 1 hour per week, usually 12 but sometimes as low as 2-3
Do I feel employed? Not really lol

*leaves*
uhh yeah it went great. the old man told me I could take any $1000 blowjob in the house

>>211777364 (OP)
ligma ballz nigga xD

>>211777364 (OP)
no. I hate jews

>>211777364 (OP)
"Yes."

>>211777364 (OP)
just employed my dick in ur moms vagina lmao

>be me
>weed head (it's legal in my country)
>finally get hired at a really good job after over 10 years of being a NEET by lying like fuck on my resume. Genuinely the best job I'd ever be capable of getting.
>the idea if a drug test never even crossed my mind because 1 it's legal in my country and 2 I've never heard of anyone getting drug tested for jobs in my country outside of very specific jobs like pilots
>AFTER I accept the job and they shake my hand and say you're hired they say "oh by the way you have to pass a drug test. We have zero tolerance for weed"
>keep a perfect poker face and don't react other than saying sure that won't be a problem
It's over for me. I was so close to making it out but once again it's over.

>>211780337

what about stopping being a fuckin dopehead

>>211780337
so are you unable to stop or are you scared of a test because you'll propably still test positive for the next couple of month?

>>211780372
Not enough time. It stays in your system for a long time

>>211780337
just stop doing weed until the test then?
does it stay in your system for weeks or something?

>>211780468
of you're a regular smoker I'm pretty sure it stays even longer than that. it gets deposited in your fat cells

>>211780468
I've been an extremely heavy smoker for more than a decade so it will probably show up for multiple months after for me. Obviously I haven't done it since they said that but there's no chance I'll have enough time to fully detox before the test. I can delay the test like 2 weeks max by saying I have to give 2 weeks notice at the fake job I pretended I have, but that won't be enough

>>211780499
either lie that you just quit or have a stoner roommate and it's second hand contamination.

>>211780549
can't you just tell them that you used to smoke heavily but stoped since you took the job offer?

>>211780337
get some fake piss
and what's the job anyway

>>211777364 (OP)

>>211777364 (OP)
yea, i punch information into a computer system like a monkey for a living

>>211780590
I have an "insider" at the job which is the only reason I was able to get an interview in the first place, and he sluethed around a bit for me and said it's absolutely zero tolerance and that the worst thing I could do is confess or disclose it and I shouldn't do that no matter what.
>>211780596
Get this, the job is related to alcohol distilling. It's a huge unionized plant that pays extremely well, but it's making alcohol. During the interview we talked all about it and he asked my favorite alcohol and what kind of beer I like and blah blah blah but they have zero tolerance if they find out I smoked weed 3 weeks ago. Fuck this gay earth. Regarding using someone else's piss, I've thought of that and it sounds good in theory but in practice it seems impossible. It's one of those things that works as an idea but I don't know how realistic it is in real life. I've heard they can tell by the temperature if it's actually yours you just pissed or some you brought in

>>211780736
In theiry and in practice it does work. You can do it. Don't fucking give up already faggot. Figure it out NOW

>>211777364 (OP)
>Are you crippled, sir?

>>211780736
store the piss in your anal cavity so it's kept warm.

>>211777364 (OP)
I refuse to be a wage slave for mr sheckelstein and i'd rather stay at home receive autismbux while I play vidya and jerk off to anime in between shitposts on a racist imageboard where I post the N word with a hard R all the time

>>211780736
>>211780846
Or piss into a plastic pliable container like a pouch and put a heating pad on it to keep it warm

>>211780736
They sell fake piss to pass drug tests on amazon. You can rig it up so it's against your thigh and it'll look like it's coming out of your dick. What are they going to watch you piss? But anyway I think a piss test for weed should be a pass with 30 days clean. The hair test is the one that needs months to clear. Just how much do you smoke junior?

>>211781166
I could get my cousin to give me some piss so I don't need "fake" it's just the whole walking into the doctors office with this shit strapped to my leg and trying to sit and walk normal and what not. It could easily go catastrophically wrong. I've smoked all day every day for over 10 years. Whatever the maximum amount of time needed to detox is I'm sure I'm at the maximjm

>>211777364 (OP)
what is this?

>>211782311
This is a thread on the television and film board of 4chan

>>211778579
That post really tied the thread together, did it not?