Does it have a chance of actually being good if Garland ended his fake retirement already to make this?

>a gang of Dung Eaters backflip into the Erdtree and karate chop Radagon to death

>>211860281 (OP)
>Elden Ring
>A24
>Alex Garland
This whole thing feels like a joke being played, only no one has said syke yet, so I'm beginning to suspect this terrible idea might actually be real.

>>211860281 (OP)
Few directors have shown they could handle souls-like story telling.
IE, focus on thematics, symbolism, visuals and tone. Rather than outright exposition.

Garland has shown he can do that, with Annihilation.
So as long as the studio doesn't fuck him and force him to put a whole bunch of exposition in because some woman in a test screening didn't get it, then it should at least be a decent adaptation.

>>211860475
Seriously every headline I see for this sounds like a disbussing film post
>>211862693
They’re gonna make Marika trans aren’t they

>>211862790
Marika IS trans

>>211862916
Did Radagon inject himself with chemicals to become a woman? Did he chop his dick off too? No?
Then no Marika is not “trans”

Man, money is really moving away from classic big corporate direction huh? Art house bros really rising up lately.

>>211860281 (OP)
Zanzibart will be it's chicken jockey moment

does he even care about video games?

>>211860281 (OP)
I haven’t watched 28 Years Later but Civil War was such utter shit and the worst movie since Wonder Woman 1984 and Kevin Smith ironically said “people in Hollywood fail upward” so I will not watch this movie.

It'll probably suck. If it were up to me, I'd make it about Vyke.

>>211860281 (OP)
You can't fuck up Elden Ring because it has no story worth caring about in the first place. That said I don't know how you adapt it at all either. You have a basic structure with an MC and Melina on a journey like a weird dark fantasy version of The Road. But you don't really have many or any really good characters to bounce off of. Crucially: 90% of characters you interact with are notable for their actions undertaken in the past that have nothing to do with you. They are all tell and zero show. It would be a dressed up tour of a silent zoomer protagonist visiting a nursing home and getting regaled by old people about their glory days.

The journey itself is too long to cover in a film, but the events that happen along the way are too short. What I mean by that is it would feel like rapid fire setting changes with little of interest happening. It makes zero sense to adapt as a film because it fits the television format so much better in this way.

I feel like I could pull it off, but only as a show. I'd also likely make it animated rather than live action because the game is already "realistic" and I wouldn't want to court comparisons against the zealot fans when I lacked the budget to do live action justice. With an art style filter I could dodge some of that shitstorm and besides animated action>live action every time.

>>211863275
He does, plus /v/ seethed over this.

>>211860281 (OP)
How do you make a 2 hour Elden Ring movie?

>>211860281 (OP)
One of the few movies I believe Snyder should make. He'd nail it.

>>211864318
You start with an epic prologue to set the tone like lord of the rings did. Then we jump into a lone nameless tarnished wandering the country side on his horse. He has his face covered by a helmet for most of the movie, maybe only a reveal halfway through or at the end. Keep him a mystery. The story for Elden Ring is very large and fucky so it’ll have to be either streamlined or very obscure with references and implications of a larger world. Ranni and Radahn are must have characters. Stormveil should be the films first big set piece. I can’t fully grasp how you’d pace this movie or string it together without cutting out so much stuff. Perhaps there’s a stormveil piece, followed by the radahn festival, and then going to the capital where you jump straight to fighting godfrey and Elden Ring. Everything in between is atmosphere and meeting some characters. Patches 100% needs to be a character who befriends and betrays you, that would be some high tier fanservice stuff.

>>211860281 (OP)
Needs to include some Dark Souls git gut.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=blSXTZ3Nihs

>>211863074
No, other way around. Radagon is a trans man

>>211864381
He would even miss the point of Pac Man