Why didn't Americans allow a CGI chimpanzee version of Robbie Williams to delight them with its musical prowess?
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2025/jan/16/robbie-williams-better-man-us

shit fucking sucks probably

Stop pretending you don't know our Robbie.

>>211923178 (OP)
im sick of it wobbie
ive 'ad enough
'e needs to GO

>>211923178 (OP)
Nobody over here knows or gives a fuck who that is.

>>211923178 (OP)
if they just put him in the movie instead of a monkey more people would have seen it and lots of hipsters would pretend to know who he is.

I saw a pile of these in the discount bin at my local Walmart

>>211923178 (OP)
Looked retarded. Plus didn't know the dude.

>>211923178 (OP)
>”make him a monkey, that will get those stupid Americans to watch it”
>movie bombs, proving that Americans are smart
How will the Bri’ish ever recover?

>>211923178 (OP)
Isn't that the guy that had his only semi-popular single playing on MTV for about a week almost 27 years ago? Yeah, I wonder why nobody gave a flying rat's ass.

>>211923178 (OP)
>Americans pretend they didn't have posters of Robbie Williams pinned in their bedrooms

>>211923178 (OP)
I'm sorry. We should've been better men.

>>211923178 (OP)
They saw the talking monkey and thought it was a movie about evolution, which Americans don't believe in.
Robbie Williams is a moron for not having his character be an Angel instead of a Monkey, given that this would both be a reference to one of his hit songs, and something that Americans believe in.

>>211923178 (OP)
Who is this atrocious faggot?

>>211923178 (OP)
movie was too based for this gay earth.

>>211924029
sorry to disappoint you, nigel. back then in the US if someone wanted posters of shitty pop stars up, they'd be of n'sync backstreet britney spears or christina aguilara. there was enough middle school garbage without importing your literally who.

>>211923178 (OP)
I’m sure a Robbie Williams monke movie looked good on paper.

>>211923178 (OP)
This shit is the same as that
>You don't get it! It's a reference to Jimmy Savile! It makes sense because it's Jimmy Savile! Don't you know Jimmy Savile?!
thing they're doing with that new zombie movie. No, you fucking weirdos. We don't know who the fuck any of these people are. Stop being retarded!

>>211924208
Pretty sure the guy standing next to the movie poster is Robbie Williams

My dick is small
Does an woman contemplate dicks that are small?
And do they know how a man feels
When hes gay and smaaaaall?
'Cause I have been told
That small dicks, have no use at all.
So when I'm lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel that love is dead
I'm loving small dicks instead.

I didn’t like how the dad never apologized

I went to the theater to see it, cried from start to end

>>211923178 (OP)
Who?

>>211923178 (OP)
it was actually a decent movie. I think it works better if you go into treating it like fiction and just ignore that it's based on a real life guy who is supposedly mega famous even though nobody ever heard of him.

>>211923570
The failure of this terrible piece of british shit is still so hilarious

>>211923178 (OP)
>song disqualified from the oscars
humiliation ritual

>>211923570
heh
>>211923631
the movie bombed in Britain too though so I guess the Brits are also geniuses

Why was this movie spammed here so hard when it came out?

>>211923178 (OP)
the problem is they used chimps who are psychopathic murder machines like us humans instead of cool apes like bongos

>>211924388
A zombie rapes handicapped children in 28 years later?

>>211923570
lmfao

>>211923178 (OP)
Bong faggots have been among the first to embrace the woke cancer that's infected the west, so Americans just assumed it was more woke faggot shit, and skipped it accordingly. We think all of you motherfuckers are tranny loving, blue-haired, self loathing pieces of shit, and we want nothing to do with you anymore.

>>211926291
Holy crap it's Joe Rogan!

>>211923570
Well done.

>>211924163
yeah but that would be trying to make money serving the white christian audience again and not be a humiliation ritual so no I guess

>>211923178 (OP)
Everybody fixates on the chimp thing but kind of ignore the fact that if it had just been Robbie Williams himself or an actor playing the part we all would have cared even less. At least the monkey angle drew some attention to it before we resumed not caring.

I know bongs think were jut trolling them but I'm being completely serious when I say there might not be a single person in America who even knew who this guy was unless they were Euro immigrants. I'm an oldfag who lived through every era of music since the early 80's. His shit did not cross over for a single second. Oasis, Blur, even Jesus Jones at least some people would know. He was a 100% euro fad.

>>211923396
>who that is.
Exactly... Might as well be a stylized life story of a random Wendy's worker. I don't know or care who that guy is on any level. It would be like if there was a movie about some NFL player from 1990s. Nobody outside of the USA would care.

>>211926242
It's a cult of parkour ninja rapists that all dress like Jimmy Savile and wear wigs of his hairstyle. They appear out of nowhere in the last 5 minutes of the movie to kill an army of zombies with their kung fu.

>>211924280
Why are the monkes using weapons? Why don't they mob him with monke gang tactics? This is very unbelievable.

>>211924280
why is suddenly evrybody monke? this movie is nonsensical

I'm a bong and I have only ever heard him in the start of Johnny English

>>211923259
first they pretend they don't know who robbie williams is then they pretend they don't know who jimmy savile is

"Genuinely" has become the "literally" of this generation

>>211923178 (OP)
Robbie Williams isn't that funny guy who named his daughter Zelda? Why he's a monkey now?

>>211924287
>n'sync backstreet britney spears or christina aguilara
Who?? Stupid fucking amerishart

>>211931756
I'm not american and i know of all those? Never heard about Robbie Williams tho

The most bizarre thing about this entire thing was how absolutely ass-blasted bongs were when Americans didn't know who Robbie Williams is ignoring the fact that there are a TON of popular British artists that are very popular in the US.

What is it about not knowing who Robbie Williams is that bongs feel so personally attacked?

>>211931869
>I'm a thirdie nigger!
Ok? Nice self-own lol

>>211923178 (OP)
I’m LMFAO watching the trailer. It’s the most cliched biopic I could ever dream up, made worse by the notion that these cliches were probably actually Robbie’s life, and that his popularity was among millions of lethargic culturally dead British normies to whom cliches at that level of cliche actually appealed.
And then he’s a bad CGI fucking chimp in it for no reason?
It is Rick and Morty inter dimensional cable tier weird.

>>211931890
based spicebro

>>211926938
Who the fuck is Jimmy Savile?

I’m an American who never heard of him and I really enjoyed it. I recommended it to my parents who also never heard of him and they liked it too. I mean, I didn’t download his albums after watching it but the movie was good

>>211926291
Americans invented woke and forced it on their vassal states

>>211923178 (OP)
I didn't know who it was, so I looked him up, listened to some of his music, and it brought back memories from when I was a kid, sitting in the car while absolute DOGSHIT annoying music played from the radio. Hours sitting in that car listening to absolute fucking GARBAGE noise for hours on end

>>211923178 (OP)
Blacks saw one of their own playing a white man and didnt want none of dat nah mean

>>211924280
They should have gone full monke and throw shit.

I unironically thought this was a Planet of the Apes spinoff until the /tv/ threads clowning on it popped up. I genuinely never heard of Robbie Williams before in my life.

>>211923178 (OP)
Putting out a biopic while you're still alive is vain from the start, and then presenting your self as a cgi monkey because "art" is pretentious as fuck. You're a fucking pop star barely anyone remembers, get off your high horse. More artist should do stuff like this, just so they could get humbled when the movie bombs, and realize they are not as important as they think they are.

>>211932296
no, it was a combination of the faggy french, and the conniving kikes

>>211932296
Frankfurt is in America?

>>211932296
>Americans invented woke
Nope. We're the only motherfuckers that call it out, while you cocksuckers continue to head down that path. Who the fuck have YOU elected that's been willing to fight that shit? Oh yea....NOBODY.

My mom actually vaguely knows of him. She liked that circus musical, would she like this?

Spotify actually played me a Robbie Williams song recently. It was "rock and roll band" or something like that.

>>211934287
IM JUST A SINGER IN A ROCK AND ROLL BAND

>>211923178 (OP)
>Make a biopic of a bygone British pop star and turn him into an ape
>It's not about Damon Albarn
Wasted opportunity

>>211923178 (OP)
This was actually my thought process when I said I wasn't going to watch this bullshit.

>>211923178 (OP)
There are more Euros who know Tom Brady than Americans who know Robbie Williams, innit?

I'm pretty sure brit zoomers don't know who he is either and acting indignant is just part of the meme. Does the movie make him out to be some Dethklok-esque global superstar to the point that it's intentionally ironic?

>>211923178 (OP)
americants see enough chimps everyday, even I have chimp fatigue

>>211923178 (OP)
So is Robert Williams a monkey irl or what?

So I listened to his one hit that charted. A lyric from the bridge made me pause.
>Come and have a go if you think you are hard enough
What the FUCK did he mean by this?
I cant find the page but this was quoted in the The Boys comic by the main character too at a moment he was trying to sound tough. Why would gay sex sound tough?

>>211924280
It makes me sad but also laugh that artists busted their asses for this sequence and it was for absolutely nothing because no one cares about this movie.

>>211938324
HAHAHA HOOOOOLEEEEEE SHIT

>>211932111
Old British TV kids show host and MASSIVE pedophile

>>211923178 (OP)
gonna be honest I know who RW is and I like him even but I didn't like the movie.
It is just a paint-by-numbers rock star biopic and very masturbatory, typical ex-addict pomposity

>>211923178 (OP)
>be me
>see cover
>judge book

>>211923178 (OP)
HOT MONKEY DICK