>be me
>22 y/o kissless handholdless virgin, as prescribed by the Lord
>ask neighbouring wench Stacybeth to marry me and bear my children
>she insists she has already promised her hand to local chad Elias
>go to town meeting and accuse her of witchcraft
>they cut her forehead open and lynch her in front of her parents
>another day successfully spent in the service of the Lord

>>212065798 (OP)
gotta involve a witch whore somehow

>>212066132
We're making chudcore kino here pal, the only whores you're gonna find are at the end of a rope.

>>212065798 (OP)
That’s not how it worked and Jews like to push it as an entire subject in elementary school. The witch trials were gay and everyone with a working brain knew what was going on (they were killing people they didn’t like or rival businesses/families ect) you would never get a witch trials setup unless you were someone worth entertaining. So chudjack would get laughed at. He would need to frame the girl for a better plot

>>212065798 (OP)
The accusers, at least in Salem, were actually young women. It was primarily a group of refugee girls from the northern colonies. I think their parents were raped to death by Indians or something. They ended up accusing the wife of the local military leader of witchcraft, which pissed him off enough to take over the town and impose martial law.

>>212065798 (OP)
There was a sex haver colony at Merrymont that were more like Cavaliers and they danced round maypoles and welcomed the Indians into their colony, but the Chud no fun allowed Puritans came and shut it down . There is more that happened after that's kind of interesting. Nathaniel Hawthorne based a story on it

>>212066201
based. even more based is burning witch whores on a pyre with God's righteous fire

>>212066447
Despite the modern image the puritans were prolific sex havers. They had political commissars who would travel from house to house and make sure you were fucking your wife enough. If you weren't that was grounds for her to divorce you.

>>212065798 (OP)
>romcom in an ero and a place with neither romance nor comedy because all are retarded prudes fighting to survive.
Great idea you have there chief!

>>212065798 (OP)
I went to Boston with my mom and we talked to a qt reenactor at the old meeting house who told us, unprompted, that the puritans had lots of sex and believed that the woman needed to have an orgasm to get pregnant.

>>212066533
>unprompted, that the puritans had lots of sex and believed that the woman needed to have an orgasm to get pregnant.
I hope you asked her out. Seriously though they did. I don't really know how this idea of the Puritans as prudes who had sex once a year through bedsheets has persisted this long. If you read any of their writings, as I had to in school, they talk pretty explicitly about physical love being paramount in marriages. Of course this was in marriage, but it wasn't unusual at the time to consider having sex with 100 different people a bad thing. The people on this site really aren't shy about showing they know nothing about the topic at hand.