Glup Shitto?

midichlorians

Fix the prequels in ten words or less

>>212113362 (OP)
I said Therm Scissorpunch, you deaf twat.
He's the key to all this

>>212114472
Darker. Grittier. Directed by Zach Snyder.

>>212114472
Make Jedi wizards, not monks
Cut the young Anakin era

>>212114472
Nothing needs to be fixed, the prequels are kino.

>>212114472
Clone rape

>>212114472
Eliminate Jar-jar
three act romance
three act villains
not garbage

>>212114472
No cgi, not directed by Lucas

>>212113362 (OP)
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Bigger Luke? Not to be confused with Luuke, ofcourse.

Luke, did I ever tell you that Breasts were an anatomical feature on some species in the galaxy, such as the human, Dowaaka, and Askajian species.[2] Breasts occurred in both sentient and non-sentient species. And they were a good friend.

>>212114472
Directed by JJ Abrams

>>212114472
More prune face

>>212113362 (OP)
Watch the RLM reviews, zoomie.

>>212116442
Nah

>>212115428
>And they were a good friend.
always makes me laugh

>>212116462
GEG

>>212114472
Windu faction tries to kill Anakin, not Palpatine

>>212114510
>Therm Dirkler "Scissorpunch" was a Crabstakian male Holonet smuggler pornstar[1] who attempted to beat then unknown smuggler Han Solo in the Kessel Run of 12BBY. Therm's failure and disgrace came as a result of his clawed[2] appendages, leaving him without the fine motor skills needed to operate his 8000-series Crawrstill Dadler "The Bucket"[3] effectively. After his subsequent exile[4] from his home planet of Der Sterlob, Therm began a storied career as an extra in the intergalactic niche of Crabstakian "clawing" erotic videos, referred to colloqially as "fisting with claws". The prodigious size of his big, meaty, claws earned Therm the performing name "Scissorpunch"[5], a signature move wherein he would use his martial prowess and talent for amateur boxing to repeatedly thrust his larger right claw[6] into an anus. Therm would retire in 23 ABY, after murky circumstances involving the death of a Twi'ilek co-star involving a perforated anus[7] and ruptured colon[8] left him wracked with guilt. His further fate is unknown.
>Canon Dispute: In the 2019 book Star Wars: Therm, I Am, Punch, I Can by A. Rand, the cause of death of the unknown Twi'ilek actress is said to be unrelated to Therm[9]. This contradict's 2018's Star Wars: Therm Scissorpunch: Clawed Killer of Women by S. Carl where the death is described in great detail and explained to be from the size of Therm's claw repeatedly puncturing her innards[10]. No clarification has been given on this discrepancy.

>>212117594
...
and he was a good friend

>>212114472
Make Obi Wan the protagonist. No politics allowed. Bam.

>>212114472
Film cameras, physical sets, younglings aren't killed, no potty humor.

>>212114472
Nude Padme.

Why was Vader being Luke's father necessary to the plot?

>>212117750
KEK

>>212117901

>>212118000

>>212114472
Natalie Portman full frontal.

>>212113362 (OP)
COMING THROUGH

>John Andor, my archnemesis

>>212118223
The death sticks made him do it

CIS use clones
Jedi aren't boring
Better Anakin actor

>>212118383
Meant for: >>212114472

>>212118619
BAAAAAAAAAAASED

>>212113362 (OP)
What we need is more bounty hunters in vehicles. You put bossk on a segway, you're gonna sell more albums.

>>212117901
based Puddle-feeding cat.

>>212118619
>tfw no chadmiral pellaeon 'tard wrangling the remnant on the big screen

>>212118223
>vito? a sith lord? get outta heya

>>212114472
Benicio del Toro as Anakin in The Phantom Menace.

>>212117594
>be a lobsterman
>come from the planet Der Sterlob
what?

>>212114472
no youngling killing
ROTS is two films
no jarjar

>>212114472
written and directed by someone besides george lucas

>>212113362 (OP)
His name was Ben Quadinaros, he is from Toong'l and his whole family came to Tattoine to see him race on a Boonta Eve podrace for the first time. I'm tired of this Glup Shitto forced meme. It's not that hard to remember the Star Wars aliens and their backstories if you care. And if you don't care then it's not for (You).

>>212118812
His name is Gino, Darth Gino

>>212119072
Luke! It's all my fault! How could you fight Vader when you knew nothing about his rivals! I never told you about Ben Quadinaros!
Ben Quadinaros was an inexperienced Toong podracer pilot who raced on the amateur circuits before entering the Boonta Eve Classic podrace on the planet Tatooine in 32 BBY. He rented a BT310 quadra-Podracer for the competition, and prior to the race, he conversed with fellow racer Teemto Pagalies in the hangar of the Mos Espa Grand Arena. On the day of the race, Quadinaros waved to the cheering crowd as his name was announced by the race's commentator, Fodesinbeed Annodue; however, when the Hutt crime lord Jabba Desilijic Tiure signaled for the competition to begin, Quadinaros' vehicle stalled on the starting grid.

The racer hammered his fists against his vehicle as a group of DUM-series pit droids attended to it, although to no avail.

And he was a good friend.

>>212119414
good one

>>212114472
Rogue One Is The Only Prequel.

The End

>>212117901
It wasn't. It really wasn't.

>>212114472
Break George Lucas's hands.

>>212114472
Stormtroopers vs evil clones. Lucas never divorced his wife.

>>212113362 (OP)
A glupshit lord?

>>212119414
>>212119414
No knowledge of Ben Quadinaros is necessary to understand the movie, nobody forced you to read about him. It's just background fluff for people who care.

But when you watch the podrace sequence in Episode I, every racer acts in a unique way, which is cool even if you don't know the backstory. Ben Quadinaros fucks up because he is new to podracing. Teemto Pagalies is a very good racer but he is also an alcoholic that spent the night at the cantina so he underperfoms despite starting off well and being a favourite. Dud Bolt is a hitman and a bodyguard and one of Sebulba's henchmen so he helps him trying to make Anakin crash, but that risky manouver takes him out of the race instead.
Sebulba we all know him, he's the top racer and stays on top through blatant cheating, bribing and killing off oponents.

Thst's the reason the fluff exists. because it results in a better creative process if you fill the race with competitors who are characters with backstories rather than nameless entities. That's why Disney Wars aliens are so bland in comparison, they never care about thinking about them or their backstories they are all random blobs and thus souless.

Imagine getting filtered by a side character existing. And being proud of that.

>Boy this guy George Lucas makes a backstory for every background character, how weird and embarrassing!

>>212120254
I think you've got a bit of the 'tism.
Or the bot you're asking for responses has.

>>212120336
No I read all of this on wookieepedia 15 years ago and I still remember the characters, it's not that hard if you are not a brainlet. It's not like I can name you all the racers or whatever, I just remember those four.

Teemto also shows up on the Episode I PS1 game, he's a bro.

>>212113362 (OP)
>Forget it Anakin, it's Corruscant Town

>>212114510
>Not so fast, Thermadore J. Scissorpunch!

>>212120398
>remebering the characters
that's really not the issue here fren

>>212114472
Make clones monstrous. Make Anakin rebellious earlier. Max 50 jedi.

>>212118894
And he talks like he did in The Usual Suspects

>>212118619
king

Star Wars characters have three categories of names
>Bedjar Forkim
>Eval Villanus
>Bob

>>212114472
I'll have a coke

>Manny Bothins died to bring us this information.
How come we never got a prequel movie about him?

>>212113362 (OP)
I kekd.

>>212114863
>Eliminate Jar-jar

Cringe.

>>212114602
>wizards
They are KNIGHTS, dumbass, they should wear armor.

>>212115428
Fun fact, the Wookiepedia entry for Breasts used to have the only canon nude artwork for Star Wars, a naked Twi'lek which was part of an art work collection George commissioned for an anniversary I think.

The commentators on the wiki called it a perverse stain on the site and eventually put topless Kylo Ren/Ben Solo and topless Anakin as the images for the Breast article in both canon and legends.

>>212121565
That's gayer than GRIDS

>>212120979
They later changed his name to Andor -- Manny was found to be too stereotypical of a name for a space mexican

>>212114472
I can do it in one: Porthole

>>212119072
Well hello beautiful!

>>212119611
I also love Rogue One my fellow redditor!

Have you heard of the famous Jizz musicians the Jizz-wailers? Jizz has really changed my outlook on life. Are you a fan of Jizz, Padme?

https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Jizz

>>212121565
It's a cautionary tale how fandoms need to have strict gatekeeping so they don't get taken over by alphabet soup administrators that unilaterally decide they need to change the culture.

>>212114472

Lucas died in 1985 and they never existed.

>>212121667
Haven't bothered updating this for a while so the current articles may have some differences.

>>212122301
The problem is the alphabet soup people put themselves out there more because they are more motivated to take over and control things like fan wikis.

>>212118894
it kinda fits when anakin looses it in episode 3

>>212114810
Not three word

>>212114472
Shatterpoint
Labyrinth of Evil
Revenge of The Sith Novelization

>>212113362 (OP)
Shit to gulp?
>>212114472
Jehudis seen better as exploitive to slaves for power.

WTF is his problem?

>>212123497
Whats with Slop Wars fans and their obsession with ecelebs?

>>212123538
So you know of him.

>>212121565
>naked women is perverse
>naked men is good

>>212123567
I know it's an eceleb because people keep posting them.
I assume it's Amerimutts since those losers just fight over ecelebs on any topic. likely due to not being able to form their own opinions

>>212122301
>sole voice of dissent is removed by admins
Damn, might as well have not put it to a vote at that point