>>212180210 (OP)Men and women respond to people with outgoing personality traits, and the character traits that make someone an asshole are also likely to make them someone who is direct about targeting the things they want and making moves to acquire them. Maybe people respond well or poorly to those moves, but in both cases the response is at least highly polarized, and it's difficult to feel very strongly about someone who's just "nice". Just being pleasant to be around but without having any other distinguishing personality traits often makes you look milquetoast and boring, which isn't what women look for in a man
Putting it another way, if you ran into a spunky tomboy tomorrow who basically forced her way into your personal space and made you interact with her, do you think there's a good chance you'd at least consider starting a relationship with her, or would she have better odds if she were a wallflower who never once went out of her way to talk to you?