Check.

I place the jack of hearts in defense mode and end my turn

>>212330583 (OP)
12k is lot or money, why should he be more greed?

thats what I would do with my jack of hearts

IF i had....only one?

this could take half a year or the blink of an eye cripes is anyone wearing a watch??

>N-NOOO YOU CAN'T JUST BLUFF IN A GAME ABOUT BLUFFING

>>212330708
>LIAR

150 years ago, men sat around playing this shitty game all day. Prostitution was legal, you can buy cocaine and H in your local 7-11, but the lure of finding three-of-a-kind was too much for those men.

>>212330708
watch the video

>>212330583 (OP)
>*cards are revealed*
>lean back as if electrocuted in a cartoon, skeleton starts flashing, hair stands on end
>lean back in, tongue flops out of mouth and unravels across the table
>eyes pop out of skull
>steam comes out of ears
>start smacking the table with a knife and fork and scream CH-CH-CHECKAROOOOOOOOOOONIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
They’ll never suspect a thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ1pXh1x71E

>>212331029
Present it.

I played texas hold'em the other day and won by just betting when I had a strong hand and folding when I didn't. Won 10 bucks. This shit is easy. Bluffing is a ticket to someone with a strong hand cleaning you out.

>>212332058
ok but what if you never get strong hands and then when you bet because you finally got a strong hand everyone knows you're playing straight and let you have the 10 cent pot? Then back to getting bullied with your shitty hands?

>>212330583 (OP)
no dubs come back Friday

>>212332103
Statistically speaking, you will have the strongest hand 1/N times per flop, where N is the number of players. Just use that round to make your money.

>>212332185
bro is it actually easy to win at poker? i should start gambling

>>212332232
I don't really know. Maybe my opponents were just bad players. Everyone was drunk on rum and coke except me and they never caught on to the fact that I was "playing straight" as some homo anon described. If I bet large, they would all take the bait. Some even tried to scare me off the pot by going all in. I cleaned them out every time because I only betted when I was confident in my hand.

>>212332232
Betting on boxing and things like that have been around forever and linked to all other sorts of crime for a reason, you actually can figure out how to gamble in some things very successfully, but you do have to know your shit very well.

Casino gambling just don't try to profit, it's there to max profits for them, and they know all the tricks.

>>212330583 (OP)
Looks like Magnus Carlsen in a few years

>>212330583 (OP)
What's the 1% for the other guy to win? Two kings?

>>212331029
make me

>>212330583 (OP)
MAKE. HIM. CUM.

>>212330583 (OP)
The point is he immediately let everyone know what his hand was by betting the way he did. Guess rounders didn't teach him shit

>>212332058
Poker players don't bluff shit hands they won't even call without jacks or higher

>>212332232
You have higher chances of getting rich by playing poker than working.

>>212334340
1% chance that Matt Damon dies of heart attack before revealing hand

Literally nothing wrong with checking there. He checks, people stay and potentially get something out on the turn and get confident which leads to a fatter pot.
Poker has no 'right' nor 'wrong' way of playing unless you ask autists like Hellmuth.

>>212334661
there is an objectively righ way to play determined by how much you win or lose

>>212332058
>This shit is easy.
That's what you think until you inevitably hit a string of unlucky cards and bad beats. Just happened to me today after I was way in the green for several days straight. Now I lost my whole bankroll and I want to kill myself.

>>212334661
He checked all the way to the showdown.

>>212334700
a lot of the "right" ways only work if other people play the same way, and it's funny when autists rage about people not playing their game right

>>212334340
i think so yeah

>>212334706
Wow that sucks. I saw the disappointment in the faces of my competitors when I beat them. They literally told me "that hurt, man". I can't imagine what you must have felt.

>>212334340
Yeah I think so. The only hands that beat a full house are 4 of a kind or a straight/royal flush, which aren't possible in this scenario, but if the remaining two cards ended up being kings the other guy would have a better full house

>>212334700
If you can both win and lose with the exact same cards/scenario in play then by definition there isn't a objectively right way to play based on a win/lose ratio because that win/lose ratio depends on the variable that is players.
There isn't an objectively right way to play which is why players don't stick to a playstyle and switch gears and change the way they play based depending on who they are playing against, how much money they have, etc.

This is exactly why people resort to the statistic clutch when playing but it's mostly as a way of controlling risk.

>>212330583 (OP)
I've just watched it for the first time and it's even worse than I thought.

>>212330708
>NOOOO you have to go all in on the first turn and not try to bait your opponents into a bigger pot

>>212334965
STFU Mr. Expert. We've had AI play against human players and the AI mostly wins because it just plays the percentages. Fuck bluffing. Fuck reading other players. Just bet when you have good odds and fold otherwise.

>>212330583 (OP)
>>212335002

>>212332232
no, you're taking advice from a literal tranny who plays with other sub 100 IQ retards

>>212335014
Okay I went and watched the video and I rescind my comment. Checking on the first turn isn't that bad but he doesn't do anything at all to take advantage of an almost certain winning hand. He all but fist pumps when the first three cards are turned and everyone else at the table sniffed it out

>>212330583 (OP)
long term it literally doesn't matter what he does. these are not spots that decide your fate in your poker career

>>212335050
>AI mostly wins
Yes but does it win more chips? Poker is not about winning more but about winning more chips. If a player (or AI) only bets when it has cards with a statistical winrate of 66% then you already know to not bet unless you have something better than that winrate. There you go, you defeated (statistically) your opponent by causing a statistic shift. It's the exact same principle as with bluffing but applied in a different way.

As I said, statistic is just a risk control clutch. In a purely statistic-driven match you lose just as much as you will win, that's a mathematical principle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnPurYEhPzA

>>212336183
where did he go?

>>212336324
Full sprint to the bar

>>212336324
Under the table to suck black dealer in hope of more chips

>>212336462
That's kind of hot.

>>212332058
I played a poker tournament once, second hand I got pocket Kings and flopped a set. It was my first time playing poker that wasn't a party game with bunch of friends. Two guys kept raising and I won $430, busting out one of the guys (who rebought and immediately busted out like three hands later). My hands were shaking af while collecting the chips lol. Kept playing slow and reached all the way to the final table, just playing monster hands while in position. Ended up winning $1200 as 3rd placed out of 60 players.

>>212336757
That's awesome. Lady Luck sucked you off that night.

>raises you

>>212337349
>Leans across table
>Pulls her shirt down
>Kisses her neck
>She's seduced and goes all in on a shit hand for me

>>212336183
Chud literally had queen pair and went all in first place?

>>212337716
Look at the flop and the river and tell me why not.

>>212337349
oh im picking up what you're putting down if you know what i mean if you catch my drift in english, doc

>>212336462

>>212336462
Surely, no woman has ever weaponized a man's psychological response to arousal against himself in order to benefit before.

>>212330583 (OP)
Realistically the right call desu

>>212336183
I always thought that guy had the 9s and stormed off to celebrate when he won, but then I looked closer at the pictures.

>>212336462
actual george moment, what a masterpiece

>>212336183
h-hes f-fast

>>212332058
wait untill you are forced to go All in with a strong hand as you say and the other person has a stronger hand kek

that will mind break you and force you to re-evaluate the entire game

Is this what slow roll means?

>>212341130
yea he is "trapping" or trying to

he wants to see if somebody else will bet

when the next card comes he will bet small to bait

then he will just shove at the end for a value bet trying to extract as much as possible from the others


if you bet with 10s and 9s

your basically saying i have a 10 thats 3 of a kind you are fucked

because 10 is in everybodys play range

so he has 2 choices

"bet" and hope people think he is bluffing

people who will call are anybody with a pocket pair anybody with a 10 and potentially anybody with a premire hand (AK for example)

or do nothing and hope to catch somebody elses bluff/identify a pocket pair to extract value from later

>>212330583 (OP)
>do nothing
>win
she's just like us

>>212336462
gigabased

are there any millennials here who remember when texas hold em got extremely popular back in the mid-late 2000s? anyone who was on facebook when zynga texas hold em took over the site? i played that game for so many hours with facebook friends and randoms online.

>>212341304
Here, it was PokerStars

>>212341319
this wasnt a real money site, it was fake money. but i remember in like 2008, 2009, zynga texas hold em on facebook was probably the most popular online game period

>>212341351
>this wasnt a real money site
It was. You could play either real or for fake money
I remember my dad went on tables with like 20c bets

>>212336462
i can't believe someone would use underhanded strategies which prey upon the body's automatic responses like that??

>>212341226
>then he will just shove at the end
He checks to the showdown.

>>212341377
oh i meant zynga wasnt a real money site, i know pokerstars was. the facebook game was not realy money at all

>>212341406
Oh yeah makes sense, my bad. Probably had microtransactions for playing more often a day or something

>>212341387
well then he was simpily hopeing for somebody to raise to try and force him off his position

perfectly fine but i would value bet personally to make it look like a bluff trying to force others of their position

>>212341386
Do poker players really go TITTIES AAAAAAA I CAN'T CONCENTRATE ON WHETHER MY FULL HOUSE IS GOOD OR NOT I GOTTA JACK OFF RIGHT THIS SECOND?

>>212341386
>tilly
more like titty

>>212341454
lol unironically i would imagine people want to play more hands with here kek

just subconsciously "i should fold but its only %1 maybe i call for the BB"

in reality subconciously hes screaming HUMMINA HUMMINA

lmao

>>212330583 (OP)
>HOLY FUCK I AM WINNING THIS HAND
>btw i check

>>212341428
yeah, i think facebook zynga poker let you spend real money to buy the fake zynga tokens, but you didnt have to. man it was so fun, i spent so many hours playing that shit. and being a socially avoidant person, it was the main way i did activities with people i knew from school, i remember we would stay up until like 2 am playing on that.

>>212341431
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnPurYEhPzA

He handled it as badly as possible, if you want to see. There's a reason it's a meme.

>>212341386
muslims are right

>>212330583 (OP)
>professional actors when they dont get 50 takes

>>212341607
"he knows holywood is full of rats"

hahaha

>>212332058
That's essentially what you're supposed to do in poker. People who know nothing about poker think it's about lying about every hand, which is how they end up losing all the time.

>>212334424
>This
For the most part pros simply don't play shit hands to begin with, and typically don't bluff unless they have to or they're very confident that they have an accurate read on their opponent and are in situation where it's likely to work. I'm no poker pro at all, but there's a lot of calculation that goes into every hand at higher levels of play.

>>212332103
Sometimes you just have shit luck, as much skill as there is in poker compared to other gambling games, it IS still gambling and luck is a fairly significant factor. Sometimes you can play the hand 100% "right" and still lose.

I just started learning to play poker about a month ago and it's a hell of a lot of fun. Much better than Go Fish, in my opinion.

>>212341454
the type of losers to play poker professionally are absolutely the type of men to lose all composure from a woman's slight affections

>>212336462
That's one of the most based things I've ever heard of.

>>212341607
>I looove beef jerky!

>>212341740
heres poker its actually super difficult but not that hard


>position
BB in position
following the table you have
>completly out of position
moveing back to the small blind that is
>almost in position

then you have hand ranges
>what will the other players be playing
so
its like

AA-A8

whatever and go down the list includeing pocket pairs

so
AA
Ak
AQ
AJ
A10
KQ
KJ
K10
ect

then you have %

super easy

whats your % of hitting x compared to the range that will play against you

then its all about bets

what bet is representing what range


the closer you are to position the worse your range will be the futher away the tighter your range


theres a little more to it but not much

>>212341454
Anyone playing on a show like that has enough money to fuck hotter bitches than her every day. They don't care.

>>212334661
no one is saying that, but it was clear everyone else at the table read his reaction to the flop and there was 4 people in the hand and no one tried to steal it.

>>212341903
you overlay this with EV

so what % of time do i play against x

so if i loose 5 times but win 1 time its a net positive ect

so for examples if you are out of position pocket pair and the position (BB) shoves

you call like 100% of the time because over 100 hands your EV is much higher

even though he likely has a monster hand in this situation

this is just an example

>>212341454
if she's also flirting with you and you're half drunk then yeah probably

>>212341988
this is why poker players study fucking computer analytics because

when you have A 7 and x bets have happend figureing out your EV is 61.4% is almost impossible in the game

but if you know that its 61% you actually play the hand you should by normal logic fold lol

>>212342144
its also why poker engines cost like $10k a month because you can load in the game you are playing and it will tell you exactly what to do

>>212341903
>>212341988
>>212342144
This is what I dislike about poker. I wish it actually worked the way most people think it does, but in reality it's just a game about being able to calculate probabilities on the fly, and I hate doing math. At a low level it doesn't really matter, you can just have fun fucking around with people who don't know what they're doing, but it's completely impossible to play professionally without doing all of this for every hand. The human element IS still a factor, so it's not necessarily strictly math, but if you remove the human element altogether from your strategy you're likely to perform better than if you try to factor it into your calculations.

>>212341982
>no one is saying that
Is this your first time in these threads?

>>212330583 (OP)
Checking was the right move here, his problem was that he couldn't bluff for shit which is surprising because you'd think actors would be good at that.
>>212331029
>>212331127
this

I'd be great at bluffing, just turn around in your chair so they can't see your face

>>212341226
the way I see the hand I figured best way to get a bigger pot is betting to hope they think you're bluffing, based on the hands they had they probably would've folded but its better than limp dick checking and getting nothing out of your fat hand

>>212342395
yea lol i love playing poker but i also hate doing all this dumb math i like reading people and i think its a kind of fun game

at the end of the day its still alot of luck involved and its a super fun game

but whenever i play online im like at somepoint im going to run into a machine and "reading" plays will mean nothing and im probably going to loose LOL

growing up my dad's idea of a friday or saturday night was having 4 to 6 of his male friends over (very rarely some bimbo) and they'd drink, smoke, and play poker in the kitchen and gradually get more unhinged and wasted until one guy storms out, these guys could be entertaining depending on the night or flat out bullies and sometimes dad would practically act like we weren't even there but he never made us go to our rooms, anyways its a really fond memory and you could sense a great emptiness a few years later when my dad no longer saw most of these guys, after that he basically only went disc golfing with one of those buddies
>pic related my poker final form

>>212336324
Isn't it obvious

>>212342822
didnt ask

>>212330690
greed is good

my dumbass coworker thinks he's going to learn how to count cards from youtube and make $300,000 a year playing blackjack. He's in his early 50s and knows that casinos are going the way of eternally shuffling multiple decks. Imagine thinking your life will become a movie in the last act.

>>212345031
You can get banned from casinos for counting cards. It's not illegal, but the casinos still reserve the right to ban you for it anyway, which is fucking retarded, and go to great lengths to catch anyone doing it.

>>212344489
wasnt talking to your soulless ass, sorry your dad was a loser

>>212345916
I know, and he knows. Maybe it's just a "when and not if I win the lottery" thing but it's very cringe to hear his plans.

>>212346394
i mean its kind of respectable when you think about it

dude wants to respec into a human calculator and then use that to gamble for a living at 50

it has very main charicter energy fr

you should make a documentry about him does he by chance have a huge coke and hooker problem

i mean im not saying he has to be the documentrys far more interesting if the dude starts winning then develops a coke and hooker problem

make like really niche call girls that he dosent sleep with but he makes them do laundry or something

"tom did have a problem a problem with call girls"

"scene of him on a bed blowing huge rails with 4 decks of cards infront of him"

"in the back scene some 6 foot 3 brunette is doing ironing in lingerie"

>>212348245
His "tall girls" he calls them he pays thousands an hour for them to do his ironing

>>212348301
LOOK TINKERBELL I PAYED FOR THE WIFE EXPIRIENCE NOW START YELLING FROM THE KITCHEN OR IM CALLING SOMEBODY ELSE!!

14 HIT ........SPLIT THE 16

does he know that you have to get faverouble odds to make counting blackjack work? you need to raise the max bets or it dosent work

>>212342734
Bots must have destroyed online poker at this point, surely.

>>212349388
The SPEED

remember that period where everyone thought they could earn a living with poker if they read enough 2p2 threads, and genuinely thought Negreanu could read minds?

turns out everyone fucking sucked, its literally just luck, and the money they were making was from ads and rakeback,