I'm going to see the new Jurassic World tomorrow. Is it at least better than Dominion and Fallen Kingdom? I hope so.

>>212461241 (OP)
2-hour PepsiCo ad/Universal Studios theme park ride
A couple decent shots of ScarJo jiggling around
That’s about it

>>212461241 (OP)

>>212461241 (OP)
Can’t believe I’m saying it but not really, large chunks are just scenes from the others being repeated, but mostly without even having actual dinosaurs involved. Flat characters, and they somehow didn’t learn any lessons from the criticism that the last one barely had dinosaurs. Instead of locusts this one mostly focuses on boring generic mutant creatures, in rehashed scenarios from the other films. So you get the kids hiding in the kitchen only this time it’s mutants instead of raptors, and the save the kid from the rex with a flare scene only with the big mongo xeno raptor creature. Very disappointing. They don’t even just redo Jurassic Park/World scenes, they go out of their way to quote Jaws and name a character after Halloween and stuff. Possibly my least favourite in the franchise and I’ve considered a couple of the other sequels to be utter shit for years. If you watch it without thinking about it at all it might be ok

>>212461326
There were 2

>>212461241 (OP)
Everything goes wrong in an opening flashback scene that doesn’t really make sense with the timeline of the series, entirely because of a computer generated Snickers bar

>>212461554
>door to the Lovecraftian abomination’s chamber can be destroyed if small debris gets sucked into the weird completely exposed air vent and there’s no alarm or warning when that happens
Really set the tone for how stupid and awful the whole movie was gonna be

>>212461326
Oh nononono-AAHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>212461241 (OP)
If you gotta watch it, do it in 4DX.

>>212461326
>>212461837
Yeah, they really couldn’t decide how big that thing was meant to be

>>212461241 (OP)
JP > TLW > JW > JP3 > Rebirth = Fallen Kingdom >>>>>>> Dominion

Rebirth would probably be a bit higher if it didn't feel so padded. It's like 2 hours 15 minutes and you could easily cut it to 100 minutes without losing anything important. A lot of scenes of boring characters talking about nothing interesting.

>>212461554
>>212461750
Missing the most important part:
>even if the doors worked properly, they send a bunch of unprotected scientists wearing nothing but biohazard gear into the Lovecraftian abomination's pen where it's not being sedated or in a cage or whatever

Like what the fuck?

>>212461497

How hard is it make something fun and interesting with this franchise? I know they won’t bother because these movies each make a billion dollars. But still.

>>212461241 (OP)
About average for the franchise

I like that the subtext of all the product placement at the end is that
>even dinosaurs won't eat this garbage

>>212462443
I know everyone hates Dominion but I don't get why they didn't capitalize on the dinosaurs leaving the island gimmick before extincting them again.
How hard is it to do
>Dinos in New York

for anyone that saw it....Cpt Niggerol was an experienced boat pilot. He had his own vessel.
On what planet was launching their craft onto the beach head a plausible scenario?
They were being chased by a whale. 20 ft of water would have been "the shallows" to get the dino to back off. The entire story, plot, arch is all so fucking retarded

>>212462443
It’s fucking crazy, really. Should be one of the simplest franchises to make something fun and interesting with

>>212462537
That that it makes it any better but it seemed like an accident. He got distracted by the Meso and forgot to slow down. He even said it couldn't follow them into the shallows.

>>212462605
>He got distracted
here's your crack commando team, bro

>>212461241 (OP)
better than dominion on par with fallen kingdom

>>212461241 (OP)
I thought it was alright but I hate it just on principal because it's starts the movie saying "yeah all the dinosaurs died and no one cared"
Like, c'mon, the idea of man and dinosaur coexistimg had so much potential

>>212462346
Excellent point. The Snickers wrapper shorts out the inner door but what were they even in there for. So little effort is made with the writing of this film. They just wanted to do a riff on the opening of the original where there’s a door fuck up and a worker gets pulled away and eaten, and made no effort for it to make sense

>>212462646
>didn't bring weapons
>fired off a shot accidentally because of a wave
>could barely hit a 70 foot sea monster from 10 feet away
>couldn't hit some spinos with a machine gun that were also 10 feet away
>captain runs his boat aground
>have moral qualms killing dinosaurs
Yeah they're horrible at what they do. They make those Goobers from Jurassic Park 3 look like Seal Team Six.

>>212462736
>>have moral qualms killing dinosaurs
That's the wierd thing though, they don't, the nerd guy starts moralfagging and one of the mercs was like "so what?" yet they didn't bring any real weapon.

There is an alternate universe where Pete Postlethwaite didn't die 15 years ago and returned to hunt dinos in this film.

>>212462736
>backup plan is to have a helicopter show up at the center of the island during the middle of the night, circle around for 2 minutes with a searchlight and then leave

....why?