Where's the Rebirth review?

Will Mike praise it? will Jay hate it?

>>212484642 (OP)
>friendsim slop
Grow up

>>212484672
>slop reply
touch grass

>>212484642 (OP)
RLM are the living embodiment of the smug, detached Gen-X ethos.

I'd venture to guess none of them has felt a single sincere conviction about anything since childhood. They exist as polyps upon the colon of culture, satiating themselves on the perceived failures of others (i.e. "The Man") while adding nothing new to the discourse aside from ironic complaint.

They're a group of insecure, lost, rapidly aging burnouts who silently believe they could do a better job of making films than the professionals in the industry. Yet they lack the ambition and ability to actually enter the very industry they're obsessed with. They choose instead to fuck around and make student film piss-takes well into middle age.

They are awful, awful people. I've met thousands just like them, and the last thing we need is for these people to gain any attention for their navel gazing.

Please, /tv/, do not aspire to become anything like these people. Theirs is a lonely road leading to depression and a life devoid of real purpose.

I hope they disappear and their disaffected followers stop subsidizing their lifestyle. Perhaps that would force them to do something productive with themselves

I liked the prequels.

They fell off. Can't even get 10 replies in a thread anymore.

>>212484859
Yeah but you're a fag

>>212484642 (OP)
Mike will like the parts that are similar to Jurassic Park 3 (mercenaries being eaten and family trying to survive) and hate the mutant parts. Jay will say he liked the mutant parts but hated the JP3 rehashing.


Basically a retread of their Fallen Kingdom review where Mike said he liked the first half (which was a rehash of The Lost World) and hated the second mansion half. While Jay liked the mansion stuff and hated the Lost World rehash first half.


Mike will say the new characters aren’t as good as Pratt and Bryce because they didn’t have the Han Solo and Leia relationship from JW. Then Mike will make some cringe remark about Chris being a White male or Christian or something.

>>212485618
I used to have ten friends but then I became anon who spoiled the shows

Then no one liked me

What does this mean

>>212484642 (OP)
>Hey, Mike. Did you see the new dinosaur movie
>We reviewed the new dinosaur movie last year.
>But there's a NEW one that just came to theaters! Jurrasic Worl Re-... M-mike? Mike?
>*pokes Mike with broomstick*
>AHHHHHHH! Knock it off Jay! I have a traumatic brain injury from that dinosaur movie I watched yesterday... Or was it five years ago?

>>212486476
Beardfat and Jay ReView coming soon

>>212486476
you need to use your RLM Tokens to unlock. You can buy 5000 for 20 dollars.

Don't scare me like that, I thought it was up.

>>212484672
no

>>212486250
Jay will defend the movie due to the mexican family and will claim they were the best part of the movie

>>212487487
Seems like more of a Mike thing.

>>212484642 (OP)
where is their 28 Years Later review? i care more about that

>>212487487
Sob not good wholesome family values on a movie marketed for kids

Not edgy

They will skip it like The Batman

>>212487547
>wholesome family values
>a father letting his daughter have sex outside of marriage
>wholesome family values
What?

>>212486476
their youtube views

>>212484642 (OP)
Well, Jay won't haaate it...

>>212487904
Jay will strangle Mike if Mike says he liked it.

>>212487750
Has a parental figure that's like out of the strong and independent playground