How did Samwise Gamgee manage to 1v1 an ancient Eldritch horror without sustaining a single injury?

>>212554571 (OP)
It's a spider

>>212554571 (OP)
>an ancient Eldritch horror
why are arachnophobic chuds always so overly dramatic?

>>212555005
Kek, I just saw some vid of a dude shooting spiders.

>>212554571 (OP)
Sheldon wasn’t ancient, she was just a big spider. Her ancestor was the eldritch abomination.

>>212555100
>wasn't ancient
>literally older than Sauron
Jacksonfags are so retarded it's unreal

>>212554571 (OP)
the power of love

>>212554571 (OP)
he had an elven supershield and sword and all he was able to do was hurt her enough that she retreated

>>212554571 (OP)
Evil sucks

>>212555232
It's implied she could've died

"Shelob was gone; and whether she lay long in her lair, nursing her malice and her misery, and in slow years of darkness healed herself from within, rebuilding her clustered eyes, until with hunger like death she spun once more her dreadful snares in the glens of the Mountains of Shadow, this tale does not tell."

>>212555167
Shelob isn’t older than Sauron you retard

>>212555267
you dumb dumb

>>212555290
This nigga didn't even read the books LMAO


"There agelong she had dwelt, an evil thing in spider-form, even such as one of old had lived in the Land of the Elves in the West that is now under the Sea, such as Beren fought in the Mountains of Terror in Doriath, and so came to Luthien upon the green sward amid the hemlocks in the moonlight long ago. How Shelob came there, flying from ruin, no tale tells, for out the Dark Years few tales have come. But still she was there, who was there before Sauron, and before the first stone of Barad-Dur; and she served none but herself, drinking the blood of Elves and Men, bloated and grown far with endless brooding on her feasts, weaving webs of shadow; for all living things were her food, and her vomit darkness. Far and wide her lesser broods, bastards of the miserable mates, her own offspring, that she slew, spread from glen to glen, from the Ephel Duath to the eastern hills, to Dol Guldur and the fastnesses of Mirkwood. But none could rival her, Shelob the Great, last child of Ungoliant to trouble the unhappy world."

>>212555404
ESL saar, that isn't saying she's older than Sauron, only she dwelt in her lair there before Sauron came to Mordor.

>>212554571 (OP)
he's australian

>>212555490
You're either baiting or a genuine fucking idiot.
>child of a being that existed before Maia (what Sauron is)
>hurr durr she isn't older
Kek swath my balls

>>212555560
>child of
So doesn't necessarily imply she was born before time.

>>212555404
>an evil thing
I could *easily* fix her.
She wants human penis.

>>212555490
>

well shelobs tactic was ambush and Sam had the light from Galadriel

>>212555617
I would gladly fuck her goth human woman form.

>>212555490
>>212555560
>bickering like a couple of orcs
grim

>>212555404
>But still she was there, who was there before Sauron, and before the first stone of Barad-Dur;
She's ancient as a spawn of Ungoliant, but that passage just states that she's been in mordor longer than sauron has, or more specifically she's been in her cave longer than sauron has been in mordor.

>>212555617
>here's that evil spider I was telling you about

>>212555642
holy fucking pajeet

>>212555674
Does she have a pussy?

>>212555642
read the rest of the text saar
the AI thinks sauron taking control of mordor is the moment of his creation

>>212555642
There is literally nothing to imply that Shelob was conceived before earth. This entire argument is like saying a human is primordial because we're "children of God" who preceded all creation.

>>212555674
NO.
FUCK YOU.

>>212555617
>omnomnom

>>212554571 (OP)
God was helping him.

>>212555722
She has a thorax

>>212555733
She's the child of a being that existed before the race of beings that Sauron is existed. How hard is this to understand

Peter Hackson has done irreparable damage to the lore of LOTR

Ungoliant is a dope evil type of deity.

>>212555744
hot

>>212555845
He jammed several thousand pages into a few hours of screen time. It was fine

>>212555847
>most powerful evil entity is just some random spirit thing that Eru didn’t even create
She’s a massive plot whole.

>>212555674
>Christopher, my son... Did I ever tell you about Morgoth's flight from the undying lands?
>The primordial entity that would spawn the evil Shelob, father?
>Hmmm... Indeed, my son. She was ravenous in her greed, and every bit as evil as her daughter would one day be. They would be almost identical in fact...
>Um... father...
>Yes, I see it now... Ungoliant would bind Morgoth in her webs... yes... hungry for his gems... Biting into him with her darkness until Morgoth would cry out in pain...

>>212555869
The only plot hole is in your brain.

>>212555869
>he doesn't know about the nameless things
I shiggy anon

>>212555945
Name three. You can’t

>>212554571 (OP)
Isn't he the one telling the story in the end? He probably made that shit up.

>>212554571 (OP)

You mean Sauron´s cat? Ungoliant is the actual eldirch horror of LOTR and even Melkor feared it. Shelob´s is probably far smaller in comparison, like, not worth eating small. Sauron would wet his pants if he met the real thing.

>>212554571 (OP)
He had the phial of galadriel and ancient elf dagger 1000x crit bonus on evil creatures. The spider wasnt prepared for all that

>>212555988
>melkor
if it is Melkor the spider will be defeated on presence, since it is morgoth it is another thing

>>212555674
>>212555757
ruined.

>dbz powerlevel videogame logic
A spider the size of a truck is a horror enough on it's own.

>>212556033
Arachnophobia isn’t cool bro.

She had gotten lazy and fat hunting dumb orcs and was surprised by Sam and his Elven weapons. It's that simple.

>>212555642
Sauron came before time and space, Shelob after, poo...

>>212556045
This. You shouldn't kill spiders in your home either, they're there to help you. We don't mean any harm

>>212556096
FRIENDLY! FRIENDLY! FRIENDLY!

>>212556096
>be me
>find a couple juicy black widows in my garage
>relocate them to the nearest playground
Did I do good?

>>212555167
You're talking about Ungoliant you fuckin lorelet

>>212556150
If you live in the hood, I guess.

>>212554571 (OP)
He rolled a crit.

>>212556150
There's a black widow that lives under an outlet on my front porch. Literally doesn't affect my life in any way.

>>212556045
>[x]phobia
I guess I want to fuck spiders...

>>212556305
Blast it with a garden hose

>>212556309
Don't do it. They get you bad on child support

>>212556305
is it going to stay there though? don't spiders move around? don't have a lot of experience but those daddy long legs never stay in the same spot. you'd see it in a corner in the morning and then by the end of he day it's not there anymore.

>>212556389
Daddy Long legs are even spiders lmao retard haha kek

>>212556096
>We

>>212556402
yes i know that's what i said

>>212556305
I actually just moved them to a hedge in my yard. I think they’re neat, I just don’t want to run the risk of being bitten while poking around in the garage. I got bit on the forehead once by a house spider when I was a kid and my whole face swelled up. Took a few days to drain. No hard feelings though

>>212555869
shes the manifestation of the darkness in the universe that Eru did not create, the things beyond or whatever

>>212556443
I know that spider, he used to boast about fucking your mom. you should have taken steps.

>>212555983
>kill a spider the size of a cat on the way to Frodo
>IT WAS 15 FEET HIGH, IT WAS! OLDER THAN SAURON, CHILD OF AN ELDRITCH HORROR FROM BEYOND OUR UNIVERSE

>>212556305
In my downstairs gym, I've got an old hole in a corner of the room where a cable used to go, and it's been home to probably a dozen spiders throughout the years. I really should remove the spiderweb, given how absurd it looks after so many years, but it's kinda charming.
When I'm down there lifting, I occasionally give it a look to see if some new fren has settled in and is poking his head out. They like to sit in the opening and look out.

>>212556515
Po-tay-toes!

>>212554571 (OP)
>ancient Eldritch horror
shut up incel
this isn't lovecraft

>>212555859
>It was fine
go back

>>212555983
no, moron

>>212556829
You first. Honestly, I think Jackson was the best choice and did a fine job. Name a better adaptation that isn’t the weird cartoon from the 70s. You can’t

>the power of galadriel's bathwater compels you!
>the power of galadriel's bathwater compels you!

>>>>Leader of team criminal?

>>212556887
he's talking about your reddit wording, zoomer

>>212554571 (OP)
Honest of character and a good hardworking gardener. Most noble and powerful of all professions.

>>212554571 (OP)
In RPG terms
Sam has a legendary utility item and a man Epic sword. Utility item gives -25 constitution and -15 vision to demonic forces. It would have been embarrassing if Sam lost desu

>>212556936
>the words “it’s fine” are associated with a specific website
Ok retard

>>212556985
kek they don't even know they're doing it

unironically, because of Sam's love for Frodo

>>212557013
Bro's before Hobo Spiders.

>>212555490
The fact you opened with "ESL saar" means you're a brown piece of shit. Post text that describes Sauron existing at all before Shelob.
>>212555694
So you have no argument and are a shitskin shitposter? Kill yourself you piece of trash.
>>212555859
Two Towers was straight trash after the Black Gate scene and Theoden at the burial mounds. Went completely off the rails and Helm's Deep was trash and all the fake shit put in Faramir's arc is a fucking disgrace. If Nolan didn't exist Hackson's trilogy would be the most overrated shit of this century.

>>212554571 (OP)
Spiders are weak!

A spider that large would collapse under its own weigh assuming Middle Earth's atmosphere is anything like our own(which is a safe bet given how similar various Middle Earth lifeforms are to ours).

>>212557258
>FANTASY
applying realism kills fun, often the complete death of science and reason in fantasy can elevate it even further

>>212557013
Lmao what a fag
>had 13 kids with prime Hobussy
Uhm nevermind

>>212557258
Magic mithril type exoskeleton. Also the square-cube law has never been ratified by any human politity so is non-binding.

>>212557258
Her own heft is literally the only reason Sting is able to hurt her. She tries to pounce on top of Sam and crush him and he held up Sting at the last minute and she impaled herself

>>212557344
She was probably super hairy down there

>>212554571 (OP)
You chuds always complain about women thinking Frodo and Sam are gay… then I read the books.

>Sam constantly talks about how much he loves Frodo
>Kisses Frodo on the forehead multiple times.
>Can’t go on without Frodo
>Calls Frodo ‘darling’

>>212556674
>uberpoweful Balrog that lives deep underground is afraid to go any deeper because there are even older, fouler creatures that have no names
Bitch, lovecraft wishes he was as good as Tolkien

>>212557344
>Sure, I bred you once, Rosie, but what about Second Breeding?

>>212554571 (OP)
>this ancient evil that dwells in the cave for thousands of years... is just a big insect.

If it was an average brown bear Sam would die 100% no matter which magical sword he had

>>212557866
Bears don’t exist in middle earth.

>>212557881
Beorn turns into one.

What makes Samwise such a masterfully written character?

>As he stood there, even though the Ring was not on him but hanging by its chain about his neck, he felt himself enlarged, as if he were robed in a huge distorted shadow of himself, and vast and ominous threat halted upon the walls of Mordor...

>Wild fantasies arose in his mind; and he saw Samwise the Strong, Hero of the Age, striding with a flaming sword across the darkened land, and armies flocking to his call as he marched to the overthrow of Barad-dur... He had only to put on the Ring and claim it for his own, and all this could be.

>In that hour of trial it was the love of his master that helped most to hold him firm; but also deep down in him lived still unconquered his plain hobbit-sense: he knew in the core of his heart that he was not large enough to bear such a burden, even if such visions were not a mere cheat to betray him.

>The one small garden of a free gardener was all his need and due, not a garden swollen to a realm; his own hands to use, not the hands of others to command.

>>212556865
Shut up Sam

>>212554571 (OP)
more importantly, how did frodo survive the massive stab wound? like, the poison part is whatever, i mean the physical stab from that MASSIVE stinger.

>>212558446
It pierced the mithril coat I thought. So it probably took the blunt of the damage. Regardless he never fully healed from that or from the Ringwraith blade and was suffering for years before he eventually traveled to the Undying Lands

>>212555787
>my mom is older than the family dog
>therefor, as my mom's offspring, i must be older than the family dog too
thats what you sound like.
the key question is when was shelob created, and when was sauron created?

>>212555642
>The AI affirmed my position? Next I’ll ask it where the shitting street is

>Hackson lorelets having a melty over being wrong

>>212558483
>the brunt of the damage
im talking about the physical size of the wound. its as bad, if not worse, than a sword stab. and it was presumably to a main part of the body. the shirt didnt protect him enough for it to be a glancing blow and send him flying, he got STUCK mid stride and immediately foamed at the mouth. to get stabbed that hard and pumped that full of poison, i dont see how that wouldnt be a fatal wound on its own, or how he could keep traveling without immediate medical attention and plenty of rest to heal.

>>212558780
I don't think he did a whole lot after that. He may have been affected by the Ring's power giving him strength since it was near it's source. And Sam used his skills to aide him a bit. Still, Frodo couldn't even do much against Gollum and had to be carried in, plus carried out

>>212556141
aw look she's smiling :)

>>212555404
You dont even need to quote scripture. Sauron was a maiar, created at the literal dawn of creation. The nameless things that gnaw at the worlds roots and ungoliant are of the same void-kin, and thus older than even Morgoth, but Shelob is obviously a child of Ungoliant spawned AFTER Arda was created.

Why do we still pretend LOTR is anything but generic fantasyslop? There's a million other things like it

>>212559939
Yet those are never discussed. Almost like there's not very many of them and they're not very good compared. Hmmm interesting

>>212559939
It's almost as if LOTR is the one that inspired every other *actual* fantasyslop (ASOIAF included)
Get some new bait at least

>>212559939
Because its a pioneer(as far modern literature). Old mythological works are fragmented, with many versions, debatable translations, missing context, unknown authors... LOTR is the first one where you truly get the full blown experience.

>>212559939
Which none of those would exist without Tolkiens masterpiece

D&D? Tolkien
Elder Scrolls? Tolkien
Magic: The Gathering? Tolkien


The list goes on and on

>>212556003
>>212555232

Not to mention that she struck the ancient elvish blade with her own superhuman strength. It is mentioned in the books that Sam could have never pierced her belly by his own hand, but it was the force of her slamming down on the blade with all her force that wounded her so badly.

>>212554571 (OP)
Shadow of mordor told me she was a smokeshow sometimes

>>212561295
Also Tolkien painted a clear picture of the fact Shelob had never faced a "prey" that fought back so brutally against her. She would usually defeat her victims with fear alone. She wasn't nearly prepared for a tiny little snack to come at her with such tenacity and ferocity


>Now splaying her legs she drove her huge bulk down on him again. Too soon. For Sam still stood upon his feet, and dropping his own sword, with both hands he held the elven-blade point upwards, fending off that ghastly roof; and so Shelob, with the driving force of her own cruel will, with strength greater than any warrior's hand, thrust herself upon a bitter spike. Deep, deep it pricked, as Sam was crushed slowly to the ground.

>No such anguish had Shelob ever known, or dreamed of knowing, in all her long world of wickedness. Not the doughtiest soldier of old Gondor, nor the most savage Orc entrapped, had ever thus endured her, or set blade to her beloved flesh. A shudder went through her. Heaving up again, wrenching away from the pain, she bent her writhing limbs beneath her and sprang backwards in a convulsive leap.

>>212554571 (OP)
He was wearing The One Ring and was 'out for love' for Frodo.

>>212561295
/thread

>>212554936
>>212555005
>>212555100
The movie depiction falls short of what Shelob is in the books. Of all of Ungoliant's children, she's the most like her mother. In the book she doesn't just look like a big spider, she's all fucked up with horns, claws and shit. She was also born towards the end of the First Age, which makes her like 6000 years at least.

>Shelob had an out-thrust head with two great clusters of many-windowed eyes[1] and great horns and a short stalk-like neck.[2] Her head had a beak that dribbled venom.[3] She had a huge body that looked like a bloated bag. Her body was black and blotched with livid marks with a pale and luminous belly. She had bent legs with great knobbed joints that were located high above her back. Her legs had hairs that stuck out like steel spines and had a claw at each of their lower ends.[2] Shelob also had a sting. Her skin was so thick that it could not be penetrated with the strength of a man, Elf or Dwarf, because it consisted of many layers of growth. It's still possible to make her impale or injure herself by making her apply her own weight on especially strong blades – a feat Sam accomplished with the sword Sting. Her eyes were the only softer spot, also very sensitive to light.

>>212561435
The sword was a metaphor for Sam's penis. He was fighting Stoya off, but she was intrigued and aroused by a male rejecting her so fiercly, NOOO Stoya you shall not fuck my master! Sam yelled, and thrust herself down on Sam instead, imapling herself with his bitter spike, which she didn't know had been imbued with Elven magic against evil women

>>212561435
"Gilthoniel A Elbereth!

And then his tongue was loosed and his voice cried in a language which he did not know:

A Elbereth Gilthoniel

o menel palan-diriel,

le nallon sn di'nguruthos!

A tiro nin, Fanuilos!

And with that he staggered to his feet and was Samwise the hobbit, Hamfast's son, again. 'Now come, you filth!' he cried. 'You've hurt my master, you brute, and you'll pay for it. We're going on; but we'll settle with you first. Come on, and taste it again!'

As if his indomitable spirit had set its potency in motion, the glass blazed suddenly like a white torch in his hand. It flamed like a star that leaping from the firmament sears the dark air with intolerable light. No such terror out of heaven had ever burned in Shelob's face before. The beams of it entered into her wounded head and scored it with unbearable pain, and the dreadful infection of light spread from eye to eye. She fell back beating the air with her forelegs, her sight blasted by inner lightnings, her mind in agony. Then turning her maimed head away, she rolled aside and began to crawl, claw by claw, towards the opening in the dark cliff behind.

Sam came on. He was reeling like a drunken man, but he came on. And Shelob cowed at last, shrunken in defeat, jerked and quivered as she tried to hasten from him. She reached the hole, and squeezing down, leaving a trail of green-yellow slime, she slipped in, even as Sam hewed a last stroke at her dragging legs. Then he fell to the ground.

Shelob was gone; and whether she lay long in her lair, nursing her malice and her misery, and in slow years of darkness healed herself from within, rebuilding her clustered eyes, until with hunger like death she spun once more her dreadful snares in the glens of the Mountains of Shadow, this tale does not tell.

Sam was left alone. Wearily, as the evening of the Nameless Land fell upon the place of battle, he crawled back to his master."

>>212561435
>>212554571 (OP)
reminder that sam didnt kill shelob, she just ran away

>>212555560
you are a giant retard
shelob was born when ungoliant mated with giant spiders in middle earth, she only went to middle earth after the end of the age of the threes which lasted tens of thousands of years and before that there was tens of thousands of years from the creation of arda to the creation of the threes
sauron existed before the world was even created like they aren't even in the same tier of anticent, to put it in prospective she's probably closer in age to sam than to sauron

212559939
Sad this bait still gets plenty of (You)'s.

>>212561807
>Her skin was so thick that it could not be penetrated with the strength of a man, Elf or Dwarf
How did the Elves and Dwarves not forever after tell tales of Sam? They surely must have known the beast he fought and that the little hobbit accomplished such a feat that their mightiest could not

>>212562003
>How did the Elves and Dwarves not forever after tell tales of Sam?
What makes you think they didn't?

>>212555560
you are a giant retard
shelob was born when ungoliant mated with giant spiders in middle earth, she only went to middle earth after the end of the age of the trees which lasted tens of thousands of years and before that there was tens of thousands of years from the creation of arda to the creation of the trees
sauron existed before the world was even created like they aren't even in the same tier of anticent, to put it in prospective she's closer in age to sam than to sauron

>>212554936
it's actually a demon, but yeah spiders go brrr

>>212554571 (OP)
because he is badass fuck off.

>>212555560
Shelob was born in the late First Age. Sauron was present for the creation of the world. You're wrong.

>>212561898
Reminder that she was deathly afraid of a gardner Hobbit

>>212561826
Incredible, there was more power in these few paragraphs than in entire books I have read. Tolkien really was a master wordsmith, maybe the best there ever was.

>>212562003
Sam probably didn't even mention it outside of the book he finished writing. After Tolkien sets up describing Shelob with incredible detail he ends it by saying Sam did not know these things. To Sam, she was just a huge spider that was an immediate threat, nothing more. He did not know of her legacy.

>>212558189
It's a good moment, it's a great moment, but I hate that all people seem to take from it is "Sam is immune to the Ring's corruption because he's literally that pure and good".
Sam wasn't carrying the Ring for months like Frodo did, he carried out for essentially just hours, maybe a day. It's commendable given that others like Isildur and Gollum fall for it in ten seconds but still. If the Ring had more time, it would've surely found a way to corrupt his mind just like it corrupted Frodo.

>>212562262
Some of the greatest prose ever put to print. The world of Middle Earth is so palpable and rich. Incredible work, timeless.

>>212562188
>Aragorn the tallest
No wonder Eowyn and Arwrn were all over him

>>212559158
kek

And she was a good friend

>>212555005
They literally have to have an option to disable spiders in video games now because arachnophobitches are such whiney cunts. Imagine getting rid of all heights because someone is afraid of heights lmfao

>>212561435
>Now splaying her legs
whore

>>212562188
Manlet rage is a terrible thing to behold.

>>212561807
same vibe

>>212562298
You have to remember he bore that great evil on the border of Mordor. Next to it's very birthplace in Mount Doom. Where it's influence is most powerful. Boromir was a noble warrior and The One corrupted him by just being in mere proximity of him. The movies also fail this moment because Sam shows hesitation in the films when returning it, in the books this is not the case. He willingly gives it up after bearing it. Only Bilbo and Sam in all of history were able to willingly part with The One. Sam's heart truly is pure. You aren't entirely wrong though and people really undervalue the pure hell that poor Frodo went through. A constant evil whispering in his ear. It corrupted his soul forever.

>>212562298
>carrying it for months
That's movieslop. Frodo had The One for years in the books before eventually leaving The Shire. Frodo carried that evil for 17 years in the books.

>>212562336
>tallest half elf to ever exist
>tanned skin from hard labor
>long "life span" :DDD
>king of 8 different kingdoms even if 6 of them don't even exist anymore
>big sword keeps darkies at bay
>sings random nonsense after becoming king

honestly surprised every woman in middle earth wasn't after him.

>>212562434
I remember as a kid I stopped playing overlord 2 because there was a giant spider boss that grossed me out and scared me, I would have 100% used such an option if it existed granted I was like 9 , I dusted off the game a couple years later and finished it no problem
If an adult needs that he's indeed pathetic but keep in mind most videogames are meant for children despite all the seething this fact causes to /v/irgins

>>212562623
>brought forth the greatest era of Middle Earth in his reign as king
It's incredible how many great characters are in these books.

>>212562535
You're 12.

>>212562636
Same but Aragog in HP2

>>212557418
down where? her feet?

>>212555560
Zoomer retards predictably couldn't just admit they were wrong they had to double, triple down on arguing the point with you to try finding some angle where they weren't or did nothing wrong
I have to train these retards at my job and whenever they do this thing like you are seeing here I get intrusive thoughts about taking my knife and jamming it into their throat or lungs

>>212562596
Bilbo had it for far longer

>>212562636
>most videogames are meant for children
Factually they aren't, the vast majority are made for teens and older.

>>212562636
He says in a LOTR thread.

>>212562596
He kept it hidden for years IIRC, he only took to wearing it around his neck when they left for Rivendell.
Even then, the Ring picks whether it puts pressure on your mind or not. For the 17 years Frodo had it it had no reason to move since Sauron had not yet sent the Black Riders

>>212562755
Hobbit footjobs must have been insane.

>>212555005
It's not just about them -both Shelob and Ungoliant- being spider shaped, it's that they literally come from the outer Void.
But yeah, burn spiders.

>>212562842
do you think slutty hobbits shave their feet, or have a landing strip?

>>212562842
They walk around on dirt and stone all day barefooted. It's calluses all the way through.

>>212562713
fanboy

>>212562878
Sam shaved little flower shapes out of his wives foot hair.

>>212562773
Bilbo didn't know what it was or actively seek it's destruction. Nor did he step foot in Mordor. The One KNEW Frodo was setting out to destroy it. It has it's own sentience

>is the single most important character in the trilogy

>>212562681
For me it's Elros and Elrond's father.

>fuck me pls send help I am going to sail into oblivion
>manwe "ayeeee you truly are purest human ever here you can choose to be immortal or mortal"
>"aye fuck me cunt i love me ole bag of a wife guess ill become immortal"
RIDES SHIP THROUGH A FUCKING DRAGON
>sails between the earth and moon forever

what a fucking badass, the only man ever to become immortal.

>people STILL say Frodo failed his quest by claiming the ring
Roundhouse kick these retards

>>212562636
yeah too bad there wasn’t an option to turn it into a big dick for you to suck on

>>212554571 (OP)
Watch the movie or read the books you stupid faggot

>>212563092
isn't the whole point that Morgoth and Saurons corruption is so vast, so absurdly evil that nothing except Eru could actually destroy it?
So Frodo getting the ring 99% there is exactly the same as him destroying it himself.

Why didn't Ill avatar just flick the ring into the volcano himself when he deemed it necessary to trip up goblum?

>>212555404
Retard

>Sauron can't truly be destroyed
>but he poured so much of his essence into The One that he can no longer resurrect
>has to watch on forever seething as a powerless spirit as Middle Earth thrives without him
A fate truly worse than death. Kwab

>>212557711
>>212557344
>MOR-NING-WOODS! Rub 'em, suck 'em, stick 'em in your vagoo!

>>212561807
chatgpt gave me this based on that

>>212563131
The beauty of Tolkien's writing is that the desire to claim The One is what brought about it's own destruction. Had it not been for Gollum wanting it so badly, and had Frodo not been kind enough to spare his life multiple times, Frodo would have claimed it for his own and Sauron would have sent to Wraiths to get it back. It's own allure was it's own folly.

>>212561807

>>212563229

>>212563342
>7 legs

>>212556443
Just reminded me of my back to back hornet and wasp stings I got when I was a kid.
>be me, at the lakes
>hanging out on front porch
>horse and deer flies particularly bad this year
>hear one buzzing around my head
>see a blur resembling a horse fly
>swat at it
>sudden, excruciating pain worse than any bee or yellow jacket sting I've had
>bald face hornet
>finger swells up to size of a 1/4lb hotdog
>go to Aunt and Uncle's place next day
>homemade blueberry waffles for breakfast
>sweet, flaky feast makes me forget my swollen, throbbing finger for a bit
>decide to play outside
>romping around their wraparound porch
>suddenly feel something latch onto my upper lip
>feel a red hot needle stab me
>rip thing off my lip
>goddamn yellow jacket
>nowhere near as bad as hornet's sting but still hurts like a motherfucker
>spend the next few days looking like pic related
>full blown duck lips with a giant finger

>>212559939
The original bro

Older than Sauron or not, he was scared of her, so basically Sam > Sauron

>>212559939
Weakest bait of all time

>>212564592
in a previous draft sauron calls her his cat. hes definitely not scared of her at all. where are you getting that from? he just uses her to guard the area.

she doesnt submit fully to saurons will, and sort of does her own thing but hes not worried about her

>>212564592
Sauron wasn't afraid of her, but he didn't want to bother her. She kept her malice to herself, he would even feed her. I think Tolkien said he considered he like a pet

>>212564631
>>212564640
i actually went full retard, it was morgoth scared of ungoliant I was thinking of.

>>212555645
>>212556003
>>212556902
>phial of galadriel
This. He'd also practised combat and built up courage up until the final boss. Why wouldn't he be able to beat a spider?

>>212564970
>durrr it's jussa spider wots da beeg deel?!

>>212556902
>galadriel's bathwater
kek

>>212556902
>>212565406
Gimli went full simpmode just for one strand of her hair. Imagine if she really gave him a bottle of her bathwater.

>>212554571 (OP)
What the fuck kind of name is "Samwise?"

>>212565475
it would have been like another ring, corrupting the fellowship from within

>>212556902
>>212565406
>>212565475
umm sweay it's the light of a silmarill reflected in the water of her mirror, you are being hecking sexist and problematic... I can't even with yall

>>212565475
>I asked for but one ounce of her delicious, thirst quenching, electrolyte filled bathwater. She gave me three.

>>212566304
>and to you, frodo baggins, i give you the bathwater of galadriel, our most beloved whore

>>212554571 (OP)
He Ungoliant a nigga, uh he Mongolian a nigga, what?

>>212556944
Would argue parenting is high up there too, desu.

>>212557418
h-hot

>>212561813
>>212561826
>his tongue was loosed
>Now come, you filth
>Come on, and taste it again!
>Sam came on
>She reached the hole, and squeezing down, leaving a trail of green-yellow slime, she slipped in, even as Sam hewed a last stroke

>>212562298
Isildur actually resisted the power of the ring
The orc ambush that killed him occurred while he was on his way to rivendell woth the ring to ask Elrond what should be done woth it after he realised it could not be safely used or controlled
Obviously, Elrond would have advised Isildur (again) to destroy it, and this time he would have listened, so the ring turned on him and attempted to escape

>Isildur, hurry you must destroy the ring now! It's an emergency we must act right this second! Or else three thousand years from now Sauron might come back and start causing trouble again!

>>212554571 (OP)
He's a based retard

The movies fucked this up, it's a slow and "heroic" battle where he just gets a few lucky stabs in, instead of the way it's portrayed in the book where he's terrified, see's Frodo seemingly dead on the ground and goes berserk with rage, scaring the shit out of Shelob with the ferocity of his attack. Hell the art in the OP captures it better.

>>212554571 (OP)
because god literally made it destiny for frodo to win

>>212561898
It's ambiguous, all we know is that she retreated was never recorded to be seen by any civilization again. Whether it's because she succumbed to her wounds or because she spent the rest of her existence eating rats and goblins because she was terrified of going outside because the enraged midget might still be out there, we don't know.

>>212572722
That was Tolkien being retarded with his revisions and being obsessed with having to put God at the forefront of everything, it was his religious bullshit leaking through again.

>>212572814
well he's up partying with God right now and you're not, so maybe he was onto something

>>212572814
This God fearing man made the greatest fantasy story of all time and paved the way for an entire genre. Something your fat bastard obsessed with taxes and diarrhea could never even attempt to reach the same heights of glory. Let me know if he ever finishes his story lmao.

>>212554571 (OP)
Its a book written by Frodo, anon. Did you watch the end?
Sam must ve told Frodo all that crazy shit

>>212572814
This it was a lame retcone. Gollum being a retard and accidentally saving the world was better.

The chapter where Gollum leads Sam and Frodo unknowingly into Shelob's lair is fucking insane.
It's terrifying and so much better than the movie version, but it's so unnerving it could literally never be allowed on film. Kids and women that went to see the silly little hobbits would have killed themselves in the theater.

>>212562188
where in the books does it mention their heights

>>212554936
Sp*ders are scawry

>>212573450
Hobbit heights might have been mentioned in the opening of LotR, but I don't think so.
But otherwise it's all letters Tolkien sent. People mailed him literally asking for heights.
I do believe Legolas' height on that chart is made up because Tolkien never confirmed it.

>>212573390

>>212572629
>Sam did not wait to wonder what was to be done, or whether he was brave, or loyal, or filled with rage. He sprang forward with a yell, and seized his master's sword in his left hand. Then he charged. No onslaught more fierce was ever seen in the savage world of beasts; where some desperate small creature armed with little teeth alone, will spring upon a tower of horn and hide that stands above its fallen mate.
The Hackson movies could never capture sure prose

>>212562763
Do me a favor and explain how a parent being older than another person means the child is older than that other person? Besides the facts everyone else presented, that Sauron was created at the beginning of time and Ungoliant only had children after time was created?

>>212555100
>Sheldon

>>212556443
>I got bit on the forehead once by a house spider when I was a kid and my whole face swelled up. Took a few days to drain. No hard feelings though

Couple of years back I woke up with one side of my nose all red and painful and by the end of the day, half my head was all red and sore. Went to urgent care and they said it was probably a spider bite and gave me some meds, still took a couple of days to heal up. Fuck spiders. I used to catch them and toss them out of the house but now I kill them.

>>212564119
>getting stung as a kid
>twice in a row
Man fuck hornets, wasps, bees, and all forms of life which possess the ability to pester us with bites or stings. Fuck that shit.

>>212576071
Be glad it wasn't ticks that put their heads in and drink your blood. Hard to get out without leaving their head ripped off inside you. And potentially giving you a permanent disease like Lyme

>>212574963
>falls into family guy death pose
Brutal.

>>212576136
>ticks digging in and having to be removed
And especially fuck ticks, never had to deal with them before, but hearing about having to remove those things after they get in you and potentially getting Lymed sounds dreadful.

>>212564119
I hate hornets so god damn much
>get sent to a camp on an island
>pretty shit but do shit like make candles and archery
>last thing we do is a hike
>maybe 10-20 dudes
>trail is pretty rough and hasn't been maintained
>camp counsellor is a literal who teenager who doesn't know wtf she is doing
>nearly done when suddenly we hear the buzzing of hundreds of hornets
>the trail was abandoned long enough that a hornets nest built up
>proceed to get stung in a bunch of spots
>one poor bastard got stung in his balls
>group splits up and we have to trudge back with a bunch of stung kids crying

I never went to a camp again fuck that shit and fuck those lazy niggers for not maintaining their trails.

>>212554571 (OP)
Po-ta-toes

>>212555722
EIGHT

>>212577288
Based knower. I hope you receive the blessing I'm sending you

>>212555404
anyone else read this in a pirate voice?

>>212554571 (OP)
How did a dude with a sword kill Sauron?

>>212555100
Bazinga

>>212563411
>he doesn't know

>>212574963
>Teacher laughing in background before the bags even land

never caught that

>>212573649
Who is this cutie pie?

>>212562188
Merry and Pippin should be taller because of the potion Treebeard gave them

>>212556096
Post pedipalps.

>>212556346
There was one that lived in my backyard that I'd piss on every morning.

>>212554571 (OP)
Because spiders are no match for Sting. Sting. STING.

>>212578401
It was a really good sword.

>>212554571 (OP)
Oh-oh-oh-Ozempic

>>212554571 (OP)
she did it to herself
also MERP combat system justified by this

why are nerds obsessed with this boring franchise?

>>212556418
Me on the right spraying white sticky stuff on 16 year old Scarjo

>live on the border of Mordor
>eat men, elves and a lot of orcs
>get eye gouged and skewered by some halfling gardner from the Shire
How did the spider recover mentally after this?

>>212582332
she didn't.
it's implied she seethes for all eternity until she becomes so hungry she either is forced to animal compulsion or she eats herself like her mother did.

Spiders are one of the only creatures that actually require less food the larger they are.
At her size, she could go hundreds of years without eating.

>>212554936
fpbp

>>212555642
I fucking love it when dumbass pajeets try to argue about things they have no clue about and think AI hallucinating wrong things proves them right.

>>212555167
I'd tell you to read the books but I don't think you are literate enough.

I don't like LotR as a franchise. Sure the movies were fun but it's one of the worst fantasy worlds. You need to justify why and how things are allowed to exist in a world of humans, especially in a world where there are beings superior to humans such as elves. Even medieval humans effortlessly wiped out/tamed dangerous fauna, so the odd monster in the forest is NOT dangerous enough to justify its existence. There needs to be entire broods of these giant spiders, entire civilizations of trolls. Otherwise they stand no chance against basic medieval humans with no redeeming qualities.

>>212582332
Retard strength.

ONE RETARD TO RULE THEM ALL

>>212578852
Someone who should be deported back to the land of elves (Mexico).

>>212565509
He's a clever fellow, that Sam. Wise even.

>>212562954
Imagine being a self-aware piece of jewellery lmao

>>212583358
Sixpence none the richer!

>>212575531
>(((doctors))) said it was "probably" spiders
>totally not lying to protect the bed jews
>wtf I hate and kill spiders now
Good goy

>>212583378
Yeah! Getting fingered all the time! Bitch!

Why does Shelob fear Galadriel's bath water when her mother drank directly from the trees that her bath water reflected?

>>212573704
>stands above its fallen mate
Sambros we can’t win

>>212583628
Her mother was a simp. You know how children of alcoholics grow up to hate drinking? Same here, but with simping.

>>212583704
My dad was an alcoholic and he's still alive while I have nearly killed myself from drinking at half his age.

>>212583736
Sir, this is a LOTR thread.
(hello, security?)

>>212554571 (OP)
BRAVE SAM!

>>212558189

>>212583839
I was responding earnestly to his reply to me. Problem?

>>212584039
N-no-no, it's fine, it's fine.
Good luck with your drinking or not drinking.

>>212584022
The ring would give him a literal garden. It's fucking lame.

Like, he'd put on the ring, and there would be shadowy potato plants growing around him. Maybe some garlic.

>>212584189
Maybe he sneakily put on the Ring off-screen in the first movie and that's why Middle Earth has potatoes and cherry tomatoes now

>>212584239
Ah!

>>212584157
He already has a garden retard, why would he need another?

Is Sam the greatest the side character in all of fantasy? From what we see of him in The Fellowship it's hard to imagine the bravery and heroism he would go on to show in The Two Towers and Return

>>212584267
Two gardens is better than one? More tatoes.

>>212554571 (OP)
He had the light thing
Galadriel is more powerful than Shelob

>Eldritch horror
I big spider isn't random tentacles and mouths.

>>212565475
Considering her hair is equivalent to Silmarils, a thing Literally as bright as the Sun and Moon, yeah.

>>212583158
>Latinas are elves, wisest and fairest of all beings
based

>>212555642
>AI overview
Get a load of this faggot.

>>212561807
That's literally just a description of a spider. Nothing listed in that description is out of the ordinary for spiders. A camel spider described in the same way would sound much more horrifying

>>212562434
we should force every arachnophobe to play Northern Journey as a form of exposure therapy

what if Sauron was a girl?

>>212586552
what if Sauron was a girl and Frodo started putting the ring on his tiny hobbit cock every night?

>>212586552
He is. (He can only show himself as the absolute embodiment of evil.)

>>212585179
Spiders are WAY scarier than squids. See how everyone remembers Shelob and talks about her, yet no one cares about the Watcher at Moria? Cause squids suck

>>212587188
squids are spooky in their natural setting, but outside of the water they just look stupid

>>212582376
>Spiders are one of the only creatures that actually require less food the larger they are
How does that work? Makes no logical sense. The brain alone would need a lot more resources since it's actually capable of thinking.

>>212554571 (OP)
>How did Samwise Gamgee manage to 1v1 an ancient Eldritch horror without sustaining a single injury?
second breakfast

>>212587289
Squid and cuttlefish would be terrifying at large scale, they're fast, precise and don't fuck around.
All the giant squid we've seen are in senescence, when a cephalopod's body shuts down after reproduction. It loses its digestive system, sustains damage to its nervous system and suffers memory loss. It's clumsy and slow because it's a dying zombie squid.

>>212555674
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3AZYQh2e0k

LOTR seems like a hellish place to live. Like you just want to go visit your family in a castle to the East, well better get a party of well equipped warriors together! And don't expect many to return. You're going to travel through necromancers, werewolves, orcs, angry trees, likely some ancient eldritch horrors. And that's on an easy journey!

>>212555167
>>212555404
>>212555560
You absolute fucking retarded broccoli headed dipshit

>>212590713
My dick will be dogging your hole while my balls slap your ass you faggot. Cup your hands queer before you get fucked up big time

I feel like new generations of kids will find it too difficult to connect with LOTR. The world is such a small place now, everything is known, travel is fast and easy, knowledge is at your finger tips. The exact opposite of everything in LOTR

>>212589067
And then he took a heroic shit.

>>212585556
But then they turn 21.

>>212555642
Sauron is a maia, nigga. He was one of the niggas that sang shit into existence.

>>212591362
Nah you're gay, the more restrictive the modern world becomes the more enticing the simple life becomes.

>>212555642
>Tries proving point with AI summary
Even if you're right you should swallow a frisbee for this shit

>>212561826
Soul

>>212592406
You're misunderstanding. They won't get what's the big deal. The whole journey seems simple and like it should be over in a weekend.
>it's like going across the entire united states.
>so? That only takes a few hours!
>they have to walk it. And through rugged country with little to no roads and tons of mountains
>why doesn't everyone just know all these ancient facts and lores?! Why didn't they just Google them?
>how come they didn't know this and that about the other people? They didn't know Balin's expedition failed? Why didn't they just call and text them?

>>212554571 (OP)
This thread is still up? Oy

>>212592757
Samwise the Brave deserves bump limit

How would Samwise deal with this thing?

>>212592862
SAMWISE THE BRAVE???
Samwise the FAT!

>>212592935
>The rocket launcher is back on the menu, boys!

>>212592936
I knew that tubby ate all the lembas bread! Crumbs on his jacketses!

>>212584267
>I don't think he's heard of second garden, Pip

>>212555722
>8 legs
>7 veganyas

>>212558615

>a couple decades later King Aragorn decides to go visit the Shire
>it's overflowing with Gamgees everywhere

>>212562286
and Sam is a chad becuz of this.

>>212562336
nah. he's was just a bearded fuck at this point. the blood of numenor is all but spent.

>>212562262
>English Professor

Did Gandalf ever go looking for Radaghast if even to just say goodbye?

Good thread this.