What the fuck was this movie?

>>212609893 (OP)
WHEAT HUMAN

alien covenant. it says right there

>>212609893 (OP)
Ridley Scott's open contempt for the audience.

I liked the space-augs.
Man what a shitty Alien movie.

>>212609952
The fuck?

>>212609893 (OP)
If you ignore the alien stuff, which is obviously just tacked on to make people shut the fuck up, then its story is actually kinda interesting

>>212609893 (OP)
literally a director shitting himself going "AREN'T YOU HAPPY? ISN'T THIS EXACTLY WHAT YOU FUCKING WANTED???"

>>212611009
I genuinely thought this movie was gonna have the goopy proto alien skullfuck davids pseudo-organic android brain and lead to the birth of the original aliens from 1. I thought it would be thematically interesting if David and Shaw are ultimately a twisted Adam and Eve. It's so low brow and expected that the movie not doing that was kind of shocking.

The neomorphs were cool.

>>212611423
I'd say they were pretty lame. And the movie tried to play them off as "before the true black alien" but they're obviously way more advanced considering they're made by invisible spores in minutes

i cant even remember the plot

>>212609893 (OP)
Lame and schlocky but ultimately entertaining for most of its running length.

>>212609952
It's the 2nd best alien flick after Prometheus.

>>212611492
The thing is, if they wanted to extrapolate and come up with crazy new permutations of the Xeno and have more advanced ships and tech and Androids....why not just make sequels where all that makes sense and isn't incongruous with the previous films?

>>212609893 (OP)
Unironically the least boring movie in the entire Alien franchise. FACT!!!!!!

>>212609893 (OP)
You will think I'm trolling, but I think it was pretty good. I loved every scene with David and what he did to both the xenos and humans. The fuck up of the crew is pretty human and felt better than what happened in Prometheus were people are just stupid. A lot of people hate the scene where the first xeno appears and how the women in the crew panick but then that's a very realistic scenario, specially Amy Seimetz acting in that scene is too fucking raw.

For me the weakest parts are the necessity to tie this to Alien, and the action sequences at the end. If the studio had more faith in Scott to deliver weird stuff like he did in Raised by Wolves I think the movie would have been much better, the need to be a blockbuster endup compromising what is clearly some artsy mindfuck.

But that's me and I love weird shit, I understand why everybody else hated, specially with the Alien in the title, and also I must conced that the whole "crew goes into a weird place and get the space AIDS that turn into monsters" is pretty old at this point in this franchise.

The intro with Wayland was good.
Also the trailer with Elizabeth.
And the ending was ok. Nice music selection.

>>212609893 (OP)
its awesome, i can't wait to watch it again. did you have something more specific you wanted me to cover

>>212609893 (OP)
Backpedaling: A Ridley Scott Joint.

Prometheus had a shit script and was itself held back by Alien, but Covenant is just miserable.

>>212609893 (OP)
A casual filter for people who want to see 1986's Aliens repeated forever.

>>212611666
truke

>>212611870
its space croatoan, the xeno is incidental

>>212611870
Ridley removing the Engineers immediately and just focusing on the crew interacting with David ruined it. People went to the sequel to see the Engineer's finally expanded upon and got nothing.

I want a game version of this movie i don't see why there's 50 ones off alien and aliens and not one from this yet.

>>212612141
>people created the problem with the movie themselves
lol sucks to be one of those people then i guess

>>212611634
I'd check your house for gas leaks, dawg.
>>212611492
>One guy steps on a mushroom in the middle of nowhere
>Magic alien dust flows into his ear canal to impregnate him with the ayylmao
Outside of the medical scene that was one of the stupidest things I've seen

>>212612184
wow, you're stupider than I expected. It makes total sense that you'd like Raise by Wolves now

>>212612206
i don't even know what that is lmao. get your interlocutors straight

This guy got impregnated in seconds while not even being unconscious and the facehugger removed asap. He showed no symptoms at all. Then burst ten minutes later and the alien was full grown two minutes after that. Bravo Ridley.

>>212609893 (OP)
the result of reddit and red letter media faggots complaining about Prometheus not having any xenos and actors taking off their helmets so ridley didn't get to make the trilogy he initially envisioned. goodbye Shaw/David space opera hello Danny McBride one liners and a bunch of CGI xenos
it's why we got Alien Zoomer member berries instead

>>212609893 (OP)
Further proof that Ridley Scott is a hack who has repeatedly taken the credit for other people's work.

>>212609893 (OP)
>What the fuck was this movie?
True Kino that filters brown like you

>>212611870
The second act is fantastic.
>>212612141
>People went to the sequel to see the Engineer's finally expanded upon and got nothing.
They went to Prometheus for xenos then cried on the internet about they're not being any. Then went to Covenant to see the Prometheus story continue and cried about the lack of engineers and too many xenos.

>>212612206
Raised by Wolves was awesome. Shouldn't have been cancelled. Especially right when it was getting weird.

I wonder if a Prometheus/covenant fan edit could help with some of the issues.

>>212612320
I still can't forgive them only for not enough shitting on starslop sequel and I don't even like prequel
where is fair and square?
gen x started weakmen era and millennial ended men with their faggotshit, zoomer is just drowned, rotten corpse who eat bugs and lay bugs
If I were man of power I'd gas all of fags born after 1970, maybe that's the main plan of globehomo

>>212612321
>Further proof that Ridley Scott is a hack who has repeatedly taken the credit for other people's work.
I miss Tony

>>212609893 (OP)
I have a hard time differentiating this and Prometheus, but I actually enjoyed Prometheus.

>>212612632
Sometimes I think the final countdown of globehomo is atoning for god's sake by killing billions, you know, evangelion's writers were elites who graduated Waseda University, they definitely knew something

>>212609893 (OP)
...i liked it for the David scenes

I think David is one of the most interesting characters in the lasst 15 years of cinema

>>212613211
It's literally just the exact same character Ridley has been making for half a century. Le perfect poetry spouting robot that's angry at his dad. And this time, there's humans angry at their dad too!

>>212613211
Yeah I really wish we could have seen his initially planned "Paradise" trilogy with David and Shaw.

>>212613500
his own fault for dropping the ball so hard on the first movie. He didn't plan anything out nearly enough and people were rightfully upset at it causing him to correct far in to the wrong way the next movie.

>>212613582
I politely disagree. He dropped the ball in editing. He wanted to make an ambiguous scifi but he made it TOO ambiguous.
Even people who hated Prometheus agree that the deleted scenes add so much necessary context and enhance the film.

>>212613582
>>212613668
FUCK YOU
there are no falws with any part of the [requels DIE

>>212610018
Man, they weren't even trying to dress them up. It's literally just an AUG with an ACOG.

>>212613211
you're underage and should kill yourself

It was tomboy kino

>>212616035
>Cheap ripoff of a character named "Ripley"
Heheh

>>212611634
You gotta work on your bait

>>212609893 (OP)
Terrible. It went from mediocre to stupid when the one girl didn't help the other in the medical room on the ship. The first girl slips on the blood puddle. Then the second girl slips on the same blood puddle after she's locked in the room. So dumb.

>>212613718

>>212616820
You just don't know good cinema.

>>212617126
>females are useless in a crisis
So it's realistic?

As a film telling a story it's stupid but fuck it's so entertaining
The sequence of exploring a beautifully-shot alien world, that guy getting a spore infection, the gnarly scene of him seizing and an alien bursting out of his spine, followed by several people comically slipping in the same pool of blood in a hallway like the movie was filming its own Youtube parody was god-tier entertainment value
Covenant got screwed by Shaw's actress getting cold feet on reprising her role after Prometheus, forcing Ridley Scott to pivot to a new plotline, but the worst part of it was definitely when it decides to recap the last half of the original Alien movie in the last 10 minutes. Unnecessary.

>>212609893 (OP)
penis poo poo

>>212609893 (OP)
It is about planting crops.

>>212609893 (OP)
A great movie that filtered retards even harder than Prometheus.

>>212611168
Some Spider-Man 3 energy right there.

A shitpile for cocksuckers that should die.
So a great sequel to Poometheus.

>>212609893 (OP)
It was "retards vs narcissistic psychopathic robot + his minions"
It is a really stupid movie.

>>212612141
>see the Engineers have abandoned an outpost with multiple ships carrying enough black goo to wipe a planet clean 2000 years ago in Prometheus
>be surprised to see they have devolved in Alien: Covenant

>>212613211
Hi Ridley