Anonymous
7/15/2025, 3:49:25 AM No.212721800
It feels so contrived, it's like a parody of A24/Eggers and the Nosferatu voice gave me 2nd hand embarrassment
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Replies:
Bingewatched the first 40 min of this last night - /tv/ (#212721800) [Archived: 683 hours ago]
Anonymous
7/15/2025, 3:50:47 AM No.212721841
Filtered
Anonymous
7/15/2025, 4:06:19 AM No.212722334
>>212721800 (OP)
Stop while you're ahead.
Stop while you're ahead.
Anonymous
7/15/2025, 4:07:57 AM No.212722381
>>212721800 (OP)
Bingewatched 40 minutes
Bingewatched 40 minutes
Anonymous
7/15/2025, 4:14:50 AM No.212722617
>>212721800 (OP)
It's exactly what you think it's going to be. Not That There's Anything Wrong With That. Except there is, there is something wrong with that, it's not exciting and feels like it's been sitting around collecting dust for a while. Since it's Eggers it's vaguely culturally conservative in a way that those in the know will spot little things, that everyone's white (blue), evil is real and can't be solved by science, negative evocations of psychiatry and treating depressed women with drugs, and the vampire talks in a BAP voice and says the line which you will recognize. It's the third Dimes Square movie of the year with filmy nightgowns, Catholicism/Orthodoxy Pinterest board, cross necklaces, everything looks like "a painting" (long wig parted in the middle and no eyeliner). However it's just gross, because the signature gesture of the movie is Gooning, so everyone is doing the kind of baby brain medicalized gooning fits that zoomers love from TikTok and phone screens, crossing their eyes and shaking and drooling out that performative jellylike blowjob spittle that was invented for porn in the 2010s. Doesn't work for me! The two articles I saw about it days ago were "Lily Rose Depp was influenced by POSSESSION" (second movie this year with that in it) and then something about yet another prosthetic penis so had to really drag my ass to this. Dafoe goes through the National Treasure motions. I'm tired.
It's exactly what you think it's going to be. Not That There's Anything Wrong With That. Except there is, there is something wrong with that, it's not exciting and feels like it's been sitting around collecting dust for a while. Since it's Eggers it's vaguely culturally conservative in a way that those in the know will spot little things, that everyone's white (blue), evil is real and can't be solved by science, negative evocations of psychiatry and treating depressed women with drugs, and the vampire talks in a BAP voice and says the line which you will recognize. It's the third Dimes Square movie of the year with filmy nightgowns, Catholicism/Orthodoxy Pinterest board, cross necklaces, everything looks like "a painting" (long wig parted in the middle and no eyeliner). However it's just gross, because the signature gesture of the movie is Gooning, so everyone is doing the kind of baby brain medicalized gooning fits that zoomers love from TikTok and phone screens, crossing their eyes and shaking and drooling out that performative jellylike blowjob spittle that was invented for porn in the 2010s. Doesn't work for me! The two articles I saw about it days ago were "Lily Rose Depp was influenced by POSSESSION" (second movie this year with that in it) and then something about yet another prosthetic penis so had to really drag my ass to this. Dafoe goes through the National Treasure motions. I'm tired.
Anonymous
7/15/2025, 4:17:55 AM No.212722719
>40mins
>bingewatch
>bingewatch