Personally I'd starve Warwick Davis. It should not take too long given his size. Make him stick thin and so feeble. Then I would feign pity and serve him a plate of delicious char siu meat, with rich, sticky sauce, perfect pancakes, refreshing drinks... go all out. Give that little bastard a banquet. Watch him greedily devour the meat. His lips, teeth, and fingers sticky with the sauce as he throws manners and decorum out of the window in a mad rush to satiate himself. Then, when he's satisfied and feels thing are looking up, I shall reveal he has not been feasting on char siu pork but... char siu Harrison Davis. Yes, I will have ensured Warwick Davis greedily gobbled up the flesh of his mutant son that I butchered after growing bored with torturing him. As the tears well up in his eyes and he refuses to believe me, I shall let out a truly evil, bone chilling laugh and upend the contents of a box I'll have near me; it will be the mangled remains of his son. His legs gone, his skin flayed, castrated, eyes missing, his fingers and arms broken, and head twisted around. That is what I would do to that little bastard. The louder he screams and cries in anguish, the louder and more evil my cackle becomes. Hell, it may just kill me because I'll be struggling to breath as I'll be laughing so hard. I will then loop the footage of his son being raped by a dog, tortured, and then butchered by me 24/7 at maximum volume. This is the fate that awaits you, you vile little goblin.
you can never inflict horrors upon Warwick more gruesome than he inflicted on his stillborn child experiments.
wtf when did davis master the toad style of the kwan lun school?
>>213325371 (OP)for me it's throwing him off multiple floors while he's Christmas shopping
>>213325371 (OP)Welcome Agent 69, please have a seat as I give you the details of your next job.
Your assignment is to assassinate WARWICK DAVIS and while it would normally be difficult to locate and identify him as he is a small target and master of disguise.....
>>213327049However, he has made a pilgrimage to Auschwitz.....
>>213327083To film a short documentary called The Seven Dwarfs of Auschwitz which was Walt Disney's inspiration for Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs as they were supervised by Camp Commander ILSA: SHE WOLF OF THE S.S, as seen below, who was in control of the camp since it opened in 1935 before the war, previously used to dispose of homosexuals and people who were left-handed......
>>213327111And later converted into a McDonald's......
>>213327111I would watch pic related.
FACT!!!
>>213327133Then when Ilsa was told the camp was being closed, because they forgot to pay their gas bill, she was ordered to liquidate its inhabitants while it was fortunate that she was able to stuff all 7 dwarfs into only two ovens, saving what little gas they had left.
Heavy firepower wont be necessary, so we have provided you with a gun that's easy to conceal and sufficient for your needs....
>>213327156Once your assignment has been eliminated, your next task is to cremate his remains, but because the camp ovens are non-operational, we have provided you with an alternative that's capable to do the job and easy to carry.
Just make sure you return it intact as it's from our lunchroom and we don't want to incur the expense of buying a new one which will come out of everyone's paychecks, including yours.
>>213325371 (OP)>starve then feed a large banqueterm akshully, his stomach would just break and he would die within hours
>>213327178Also, if you ever wondered who James Bond shot in his title sequences......
>>213327198It was always Kenny Baker inside the barrel that was killed each time.......
>>213327219With plenty of spares available as he was the result of a failed genetic experiment to clone multiple versions of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.....
>>213327253While the producers would bulk order Kenny's because they'd get a discount and where South Park's famous phrase "Oh my God, they killed Kenny!?!" originated based on the number of Kenny's Trey Parker and Matt Stone learned had been killed and decided to make it a running gag in their show.....
https://youtu.be/qIcs9kw85GY?si=_0mhTdSPjmamJ4px
>>213327274As for the real Kenny Baker, he was quietly replaced with a clone after being found dead inside R2-D2 from dehydration and a lack of oxygen as a result of one day masturbating inside the suit with the lid down while watching Carrie Fisher dressed as Slave Leia during the making of Return of the Jedi.
>>213327302Unable to push the lid open due to his lack of strength from wanking, he didn't want to embarrass himself by calling for help and for the crew to discover the 7 inch high layer of his own semen he had been marinating in, which happened anyway when they pried the lid open and found him naked with his eyes crossed and tongue sticking out but not in a sexy way as you can see on my Official Belle Delphine Ahegao (TM) pillow which FYI is a real product.....
>>213327323So relish in your assignment Agent 69 as few others on this planet can say they get paid by their government to travel to exotic locations, stay in 5 star hotels, eat gourmet meals at the most prestigious restaurants, write off $5000 a night escorts as a tax expenditure (giving you a significant refund after filing and why it's important to get a receipt) and curb stop some midget cunt with extreme prejudice then use his skin for a new briefcase and his open skull as a soup bowl.....
https://youtu.be/i4pYVPotNGI?si=ZrqlogPPsuiBbOmf
!!!FACT!!!
>>213325371 (OP)That's a rather tall order
>>213325371 (OP)I wrote this pasta in 2019 when hungover in my college room. Somebody can correct me but I think that means I started the Warwickposting era of 2019-2020
>original 'kick' pasta was about Verne Troyer and the tormenting a famous midge one initially not about anybody specific>somebody adapted them to be about warwick, he bitched like a dumb boomer on twitter when brought to his attention by somebody>I make this one in responseWarwickposting was funny because so many anons wrote extremely verbose/eloquent paragraphs - many underrated gems like the fly trap one. Initially pasta writers were torturing him with glee - being the villain but being unapologetic about it. Eventually they evolved to taking the stance that Warwick is the villain and the tortures were righteous.
Warwick
Will never be far from the floorwick
Intentionally bred kids that were 2'4" wick
Is wife would still be alive but glue traps stick
>>213325371 (OP)I think Warwick would make a good fidget toy. You could drop him into the palms of an anxious child and let them snap each of his bones with a satisfying "pop". The more bones you snap, the trickier and more satisfying it becomes to kneed through his body to locate the remaining ones and give them a good snap too. Once his entire skeleton has been thoroughly snapped and his body has lost all structure and integrity, his squishy body can then be used as a stress ball, and the harder you squeeze the more of his guts and pulverised skeleton are pushed through his throat and anus with a satisfying ooze.
