What in the fuck did I just watch? The sound is atrocious, the acting is corny and it's just plain weird. bad? Why is it so weird? Why is the acting so corny?
This is the last time I'm watching a /tv/ recommended movie.

>>213378122 (OP)
Today is the day where you were filtered.

>>213378122 (OP)
Conan is a philosophical masterpiece.

>>213378122 (OP)
Milius is a better writer than he is at directing

>>213378122 (OP)
>I'm also trans but that has nothing to do with anything.

>>213378122 (OP)
Fuck, I fucked up the OP.
>>213378157
>filtered
This is such a tired defense for shitty movies, it's lost its meaning.

Nice try, Thulsa

>>213378122 (OP)
you just watched the greatest fantasy movie of the 80s

>>213378122 (OP)
you are 12 years old and indian

>>213378329
and i add, the greatest sword and sorcery movie of all time

>>213378122 (OP)
Are you a woman?

>>213378185
>>213378385
>>213378683
All false. The movie is just trash.

You have to have testosterone to appreciate this movie.

the acting is great

If you feel this way you should probably just stick to watching gay pornos and marvel movies.

>>213378516
>>213378329
This.
I'm trying to imagine what kind of movie watching joyless asshole could not like the first Conan.

>>213378122 (OP)
>weird
>corny
These are words that a sheltered child would use. Watch more films and lurk more before you embarrass yourself again

>>213378869
The kind that enjoys quality movies? The plot is just incoherent. Like how was Conan caught at the cult temple thing? How did they know? There's zero exposition.
You people are retarded.

>>213378122 (OP)
We're going to be enjoying the lamentations of this guys woman.

>>213378122 (OP)
You’re either a fag or a woman

>>213379062
>kills Thulsa Dooms big ass snake
>steals the twin snake symbol off the wall in the same chamber as the snake
>later hands it to a guard to gain deeper entrance into the temple like its a special backstage pass
Imagine handing stolen property to the people who it belongs to and thinking they're not going to know you're an outsider. Connect the fucking dots, anon

>>213379062
Pretty self explanatory when he hands the guard the snake symbol and he hands it over to the bad guys.
Maybe something staring Adam Sandler would be easier for you to understand.

>>213379182
>>213379522
Why the fuck did he do that then? And why did the guard let him pass? Just admit it's bad writing.

>>213379566
He did it because he was an impulsive idiot who rushed in to try and kill Doom instead of plotting shit out properly with his friends. The guard let him pass while he confirmed with the others it was stolen. Its not bad writing, its good character development. He pays for his fuckup with nearly dying. It makes him act more thoughtfully. It makes him appreciate his friends more. You're too dumb to see that

>>213378122 (OP)
Stop watching movies on your phone sweetie.

Man this thread makes me want to run a Conan TTRPG game, I need to figure out which system to use.

>>213378987
As Milius himself said it, he makes movies for men. His beliefs, his ideology stem from a very classical pro-western masculine ideology. He has no patience for cynicism, smugness or irony so what may seem cheesy or corny to us b/c of our jaded culture is "straight shooter" for Milius. This doesn't mean he's some kind of WASP boy scout, just that he'd rather make myths instead of undermining them. This goes back to a clash of ideologies during the 1960s where Milius very loudly placed himself on the opposite side of the decadence of the hippie and anti-war (Milius would say anti-draft) movement. At that time holding such a view was not a career death sentence in Hollywood.

>>213379182
I assumed there were enough copies of that symbol that he had reasonable doubt to believe that he could just use one without anyone noticing, like if someone had never seen a dollar bill before and tried printing dollars they wouldn’t know about the serial number on them identifying them.

>brainwash a sheltered princess
>she gets stolen from you
>lead your best warriors into an ambush like a fuckhead
>immediately decide the best course of action is mass suicide

What the fuck was his problem? Just get more warriors.

>>213380049
Losing such a downhill battle to Conan the Barbarian made him question his faith and favor, so the mass suicide was a sacrificial tribute to Father Set, a last ditch effort to save himself while denying the world his most precious treasure--his influence and following.

>>213379984
>At that time holding such a view was not a career death sentence in Hollywood

And he still had his friends among the dirty dozen of USC grads, many of which were liberal. Back then, you could be friends with people whose views you didn't always agree with.

>>213380049
Mass suicide was probably the ultimate goal of the Cult of Set so that Thulsa could eat his followers and grow stronger. He gambled it all on an attack out of conceit and had to rush to the end after failing

>>213380049
Wasn't his plan to send them all back where they came from as brainwashed killers

>>213380037
Its even more than that. The symbol itself he tries to buy his way in with is made of jade. Even if there are hundreds of other copies roaming around that one is pretty distinctive

>>213379182
>>213379522
In addition to that, and perhaps even more important, is Conan saying "infinity" instead of "emptiness" when looking into the water, Thulsa literally points out this mistake when calling for his capture.

>>213380049
Bro was about to cast some OP shit

>>213380193
Okay, well I haven’t seen the movie in a bit and don’t quite remember the details but you can just chalk that up to Conan being stupid/ Conan not being a real member of the order of the Snake so he doesn’t know the inner workings like if that symbol will get him in trouble or not. He is a complete outsider. It is a lousy plothole I admit I guess. Still a great movie

>>213378122 (OP)
Did you hear the greatest film score ever created? The music is a masterpiece all on its own.

>>213380240
>The music is a masterpiece all on its own.
Also has a good googley eye reaction webm for when 4chan users post pictures of an attractive woman

>>213378700
What movies do you like then?

>>213380240
>The music is a masterpiece all on its own
I'd argue the score carries the movie. It makes scenes of slow-paced, prolonged silence and turns them into extraordinary moments of contemplation and discovery. Try to imagine the tomb scene without its score. It's basically 4 minutes of panning shots in complete silence turned into something wonderful and triumphant just by the score alone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmnbK9VR7VM

>>213380501
Idk this just feels like saying a dish would be nothing without one of its main ingredients.

>>213378122 (OP)
you fucking pleb, fucking kill your fucking self

That might be the best movie of all time

>>213380576
That's what I'm saying. It's one of the soundtracks that was composed around the storyboards not the actual scenes. The scenes are engineered around Basil's score not the other way around.

>>213378122 (OP)
apparently anon, you're afflicted with kikeltosis. incurable

>>213378122 (OP)
I've never said this before. But you were genuinely filtered.

>>213380740
Very ironic, considering the director is jewish.

>>213380778
what movie involving such fantasy doesn't have jews forced into the production?

post hand OP. You are a feminine brownoid, I can tell.
>It's weird! Why is it so weird!
only gay boys talk this way.

>>213380726
Then you're saying nothing.

>>213380809
John Milnius is one of the four Good Jews (that I know of) alongside
>Bobby Fischer
>Henry Kissinger
>Stephen Miller

>>213378122 (OP)
Well, you're bad at movies, simple as. This is one of the easiest to appreciate films, tasteful & without too much philosophy, yet you fail to enjoy it ... idk what's wrong with you, but fix it.

>>213378122 (OP)
OP here, I'm trans btw if that matters

>>213380049
he tried to do what grifith did

>>213378122 (OP)
What's wrong, OP? Not enough diversity?

>>213380867
No? I'm saying that everything from camerawork to props to Arnie's stoic faces would not work if they didn't pace everything around the soundtrack, which is a very rare practice for anything outside of musicals.
For an example of where this wasn't the priority and was never considered, you don't need to go far. Go watch Destroyer, where the soundtrack wasn't treated with the same foundational quality for many of its scenes. Hence, despite being amazing, it never actually reaches the same borderline magical quality that would elevate the scene above what you actually see.
What the fuck is this semantics autism anyway? Do you seriously think you can't make a good scene without pacing it around the score? Because that's what you are actually claiming by pretending I was stating obvious.

>>213378122 (OP)

>>213381141
He can see that in the second Conan movie that sucked.

>>213378122 (OP)
Let me explain it to you.
You are soulless zoomer. Kys.

>Go to board
>Find out what they like
>make thread to be counter culture to it
>guaranteed replies
>post it on twitter for muskbux
This is 4chan now

>>213378122 (OP)
Yep, I watched it a few months ago and didn't like it at all either. The acting's atrocious, the screenplay is awful, the sets and props look bad, the fight choreography's nonexistent, the girls aren't hot, the villain's ridiculous. I enjoyed like 40 minutes of it, and I think it could've worked if they leaned into the corniness more but it just takes itself way too seriously. It's nothing but an utterly forgettable B-movie.

The Mummy or Pirates of the Caribbean are far superior action/adventure flicks, and I'm sure there are some good old sword and sorcery movies I haven't seen yet, but this ain't it.

>>213381905
Not OP, but I didn't like the movie either. It's overrated as fuck.

>>213382019
It's not about the movie it's just about how shit 4chan has gotten in a post starlink/smartphone internet

>>213378122 (OP)
It’s literally the best adventure movie of all time

>>213378243
Contemplate your filtering on the tree of, Woe

>>213378122 (OP)
I really wanted to love this movie, the philosophy, the atmosphere, the music, it's all great, but Conan's woman sidekick really detracts from me. The fighting is so gritty and violent until she shows up, and then it basically becomes MCU. Women in action movies are inherently problematic, since most people don't like to see women get hurt, which is understandable, but this also means they basically have to be depicted as invulnerable in action movies, which completely kills all tension and suspension of disbelief.

>>213378122 (OP)
I'm not even being cute, go get your testosterone levels checked. Assuming you're not a tranny and/or brown.

>>213382787
A truly masculine movie is stuff like The Thing or The Duellists or The Departed, not this fantasy nonsense.

>>213378122 (OP)
I like the movie, but the Robert E Howard stories are so much better

>>213378122 (OP)
I recommend killing yourself

>>213379062
>he's a plotfag
say no more

>>213381455
>Thinks Grace Jones is ugly
Faggot

>>213381455
The Destroyer sucked but Grace Jones was based