>Crank III
Chev must ____ to survive

>>213570695 (OP)
pick a new gender

>>213570695 (OP)
go to china town again?

>>213570695 (OP)
sings, make it a musical
its the only possible solution

>>213570695 (OP)
SUCK COCK

Mouse bites

>>213570695 (OP)
Age regress

>>213570695 (OP)
expel his semen

>>213570695 (OP)
rape

be a janitor on the 4chan board "/tv/ - Television & Film"; his heart will stop for 1 second the first time he deletes a post or marks an anon for a ban, and every subsequent time he does that his heart stops for an additional second. He has to do this for an entire year. But he will at least collect the full 4chan janitor salary.

kill a black person

>>213570695 (OP)
shove bigger and bigger things up his ass.

>>213570695 (OP)
gape

>>213570695 (OP)
get (You)s

>>213570695 (OP)
must get a 30 day site wide ban

Eat all the eggs.

>>213570695 (OP)
Crank

>>213571398

Stay irradiated

>>213570695 (OP)
ape

>>213571609
Kino

Chev Chelios has a genetically engineered parasite introduced into his intestines that causes him to starve unless he keeps stuffing his face with calorie dense food. Film has scenes of him eating all sorts of both normal&bizarre stuff to keep up with his now insatiable appetite.
>Crank 3: All You can Eat

Live a year in India.

Crank 3: Chev Chelios is now a CRANKY old man.

get vaccinated

>>213571609
actually a good one

>>213570695 (OP)
Die. He has to die and resuscitate himself every hour, or else he'll die.

I completely unironically think that Ryan Reynolds can be a good match if he tries, but he is so linked to Deadpool and various other "quirky" roles by now that it would be hard to separate him from these.

>>213572614
Fuck, wrong thread, sorry.

>>213571533
how does he get in there

>>213572596

>>213570695 (OP)
stay above 50 miles an hour.

>>213570695 (OP)
Crank III: Semen Retention

>>213572614
>chev must fuck ryan renolds to survive

>>213571398
>be a 4chan janitor for an entire year while collecting salary
Wow, he must be sitting pretty at the end of that! I imagine you'd be able to resolve any current debts and have enough saved to put down a good 15-20% on a house after that after the requisite chicken tendies overhead

>>213570695 (OP)
boycott israel

>>213572943
t. Ryan Reynolds

>>213570695 (OP)
>>Crank III
>Chev must be on meth fucked in the gimp cage all day to survive

>>213571315
>Chev, we managed to heal your burns, but the downside is that your skin was entirely destroyed, save for your member.
>We could regrow it all, so your whole body is an erogenous zone now.
You're a giant dick, doc.
>No Chev, that would be you.

>>213570695 (OP)
>move to the suburbs and raise a family

>>213572688
he came first

>>213571452
unironically could work
have it connect to some streaming platform and he has to get engagement in some way likes/donations/views

poop

>>213572294
does he get fatter?

The correct answer is stung and it'll be a demented musical

>>213570695 (OP)
Last movie had it end with him on fire so the next should involve him constantly trying to keep cool to avoid spontaneous combustion. Driving around in an ice cream truck and a blowjob with ice cubes were my main ideas

>>213573701
vtuber chev chelios

>>213573701
>>213575627

There was that short sequence in Expendables 4 where Statham's character, one of the titular mercenaries, tries to get a more "civilian" job and ends up being a bodyguard for some trashy youtube streamer, and when this streamer guy disrespects some girls during a livestream, Statham has an issue with that and it gets captured on the livestream and he becomes a viral internet sensation.

>>213572596
That's actually perfect.
It's so stupid, but hilarious.

>>213572891
Imagine if he was in a bus too, haha that'd be so stupid.

>>213570695 (OP)
>Chev must ____ to survive
vax

>>213570695 (OP)
He must sneed.

>>213570695 (OP)
Never sleep and never stop moving

>>213572509
Crank 3 in kung flu era is what we wanted.
Borat 2 in kung flu era is what we deserved.

>>213570695 (OP)
GROW HAIR
the whole movie is him smearing mins, fins, and various other shit copecels on /tv/ promote on his head
final scenes, a hair transplant, but because he doesn't have donor hairs, they transplant it from his but, so it looks funny and he seeks revenge

>>213576891
/thread

>THIS SUMMER
>"We've taken our your entire immune system, if you don't keep an inflammation rate of at least 42% you'll die."
>"DOC I NEED THE VAX FLU RABIES GIVE IT TO ME"
>"No! The vaccine is safe and effective!"
>"Ahhhhhhhhhh my killer Ts GROW GROW GROW"

Get bitten by a shark

cum

>>213570695 (OP)
walk
he's got one of them step counter things on his ankle so if he stops walking he dies
but running would jostle it too much and he dies
and he can't kick people with that leg either
and of course the theme song is walking on sunshine because they already used a shitty remake of stayin' alive

>>213570695 (OP)
Say the N word
(Movie takes place in east St. Luis)

>>213570695 (OP)
Shout slurs in increasingly louder decibels at set intervals.

>>213570779
>*Dwight Yoakam on the phone with Jason Statham*
>Chev! They gave you gender reassignment surgery! You have to dilate your new vagina hole every few hours or it will get infected!

>>213579059
>if they dead name you, you die!

He find increasingly deviant sexual practice. He starts with jerking off then quickly finds that it is not working anymore. Then he tries fucking a prostitute and figures that hereosexual intercourse only works once. Then it descends into gay sex, gangbanging, getting gangbanged, race plays, bestiality, rape, etc
There will be a lot of experimentations from Chev and he will constantly question how X is considered more degenerate than Y throughout the entire thing.

>>213570695 (OP)
crank it

>Chelios, the bloodlust and unnatural cold you feel are the first stages of vampirism. Lord Ramanazoff has turned you into a nightleech. He was impressed with the carnage you arranged and wants you as his thrall.This saved your live, but you have to kill him before sunrise, else your transformation will be final and you will serve him in the shadows forever. In the meanwhile, keep drinking blood. It will keep you our of the slumber
>How the fuck do you know so much about vampires, doc?
>My middle name is Van Helsing.

>>213570695 (OP)
mewing

>>213570695 (OP)
This is the only sequel I ever want made.
But it won't happen.

>>213570695 (OP)
>Chev must get hooked to porn and social media to survive

>>213579164
based

>>213570897
Unironically would've been kino

who would play chev tho
is there a single actor right now who could pull him or a similar character off successfully?

>>213579813
Chevy Chase

>>213570695 (OP)
explain how chev survives getting fried by power lines, after somehow surviving a fall from a helicopter onto a car...
how does he survive?

>>213570695 (OP)
he has to crank it to jim tews to survive

>>213572970
chev vs mossys. lol I would watch

>>213579897
he's a limey terminator

>>213579906
hell yeah dude

>>213579164
who would stop the transformation? not realistic

>>213572688
He was born in it, molded by it, he didn't see daylight till he cracked his first eggs

>>213579111
>it isn't some strange device implanted in him, it's just normal procedure for a tranny after being deadnamed

>>213570695 (OP)
If you post online at under 50mph the pc chair will detonate. Mph stands for megahitlers/hour, it's the unit of online antisemitism. Personally I never reach anything below 90mph so it's not even an issue.

>>213574599
maybe there's an epilogue after he's gotten the parasite removed where he's fat as fuck because he got used to eating like crazy?

>>213570695 (OP)
goon, if he cums he slips into a coma

>>213570695 (OP)
Become an artificial skin scientist by daytime, and a zombie-like mercenary at night. Call himself Moon Darkpool.

>>213573701

>>213578638

>>213572688
you must eat all the eggs

>>213571009
That wont be a problem for Jason Statham is you know what I mean........

>>213570695 (OP)
eat a black womans pussay

>>213572934
>"goon or die, if you cum, you lose, your choice, the edging starts now."

>>213580844
Born to shit, forced to walk

>>213570695 (OP)
Chev must crank it to survive. The crank is in his crotch and it makes that whn wHN WHNNN sound with every crank.

>>213570695 (OP)
criticize Israel at a GOP ralley

>>213570695 (OP)
>Chev must take his mRNA booster or he will die in two weeks

>>213570695 (OP)
I know it's a retarded movie and fun, but seriously those things hurt like a motherfuck. He wouldn't be able to bite his tongue with one of those clips. They should have made him just bite the metal, electricity will still transfer.