Just read the books again, yep. These movies are absolutely slop compared to Tolkien's masterpiece

nobody asked

>>213610906 (OP)
I don't like reading about gross hobbit anatomy

Yep. The films are really quite bad compared to the books. Respectable fantasy novels turned into to Hollywood action slop

>>213610906 (OP)
Its actually the opposite.. the books have a ton of filler and pacing issues. Pete Jackson created gold that will never be matched

"On the near side of him lay, gleaming on the ground, his elven-blade, where it had fallen useless from his grasp. Sam did not wait to wonder what was to be done, or whether he was brave, or loyal, or filled with rage. He sprang forward with a yell, and seized his master's sword in his left hand. Then he charged. No onslaught more fierce was ever seen in the savage world of beasts; where some desperate small creature armed with little teeth alone, will spring upon a tower of horn and hide that stands above its fallen mate.

Disturbed as if out of some gloating dream by his small yell she turned slowly the dreadful malice of her glance upon him. But almost before she was aware that a fury was upon her greater than any she had known in countless years, the shining sword bit upon her foot and shore away the claw. Sam sprang in, inside the arches of her legs, and with a quick upthrust of his other hand stabbed at the clustered eyes upon her lowered head. One great eye went dark."

>>213610906 (OP)
The Elves are White, beautiful, better than any other race and have great jeans.
The Numenoreans are White, taller, better than any other lesser Human races and have great jeans.
All Orcs are evil, ugly and have bad jeans.
Dwarves are greedy and love gold.
The woke libs call Tolkien and Jackson trilogy racist.

>>213611018
"Even as Sam himself crouched, looking at her, seeing his death in her eyes, a thought came to him, as if some remote voice had spoken. and he fumbled in his breast with his left hand, and found what he sought: cold and hard and solid it seemed to his touch in a phantom world of horror, the Phial of Galadriel.

'Galadriel! ' he said faintly, and then he heard voices far off but clear: the crying of the Elves as they walked under the stars in the beloved shadows of the Shire, and the music of the Elves as it came through his sleep in the Hall of Fire in the house of Elrond.

Gilthoniel A Elbereth!

And then his tongue was loosed and his voice cried in a language which he did not know:

A Elbereth Gilthoniel

o menel palan-diriel,

le nallon sn di'nguruthos!

A tiro nin, Fanuilos!

And with that he staggered to his feet and was Samwise the hobbit, Hamfast's son, again. 'Now come, you filth!' he cried. 'You've hurt my master, you brute, and you'll pay for it. We're going on; but we'll settle with you first. Come on, and taste it again!'"

>>213611060
"As if his indomitable spirit had set its potency in motion, the glass blazed suddenly like a white torch in his hand. It flamed like a star that leaping from the firmament sears the dark air with intolerable light. No such terror out of heaven had ever burned in Shelob's face before. The beams of it entered into her wounded head and scored it with unbearable pain, and the dreadful infection of light spread from eye to eye. She fell back beating the air with her forelegs, her sight blasted by inner lightnings, her mind in agony. Then turning her maimed head away, she rolled aside and began to crawl, claw by claw, towards the opening in the dark cliff behind.

Sam came on. He was reeling like a drunken man, but he came on. And Shelob cowed at last, shrunken in defeat, jerked and quivered as she tried to hasten from him. She reached the hole, and squeezing down, leaving a trail of green-yellow slime, she slipped in, even as Sam hewed a last stroke at her dragging legs. Then he fell to the ground.

Shelob was gone; and whether she lay long in her lair, nursing her malice and her misery, and in slow years of darkness healed herself from within, rebuilding her clustered eyes, until with hunger like death she spun once more her dreadful snares in the glens of the Mountains of Shadow, this tale does not tell.

Sam was left alone. Wearily, as the evening of the Nameless Land fell upon the place of battle, he crawled back to his master."

The Jackson trilogy fails the Bechdel test, is sexist and has only three women in important roles, racist and too white and BIPOC people play villains, no LGBTQI+ representation.

>>213611116
Sam and Frodo are fags

i want more comfy adventures in the shire and daily activities inside the great smials/brandy hall

>>213610906 (OP)
The films are good, but they really go off rails in 2nd and especially the 3rd one. An achievement for what they managed to do though.

>>213611116
Oh no!
Anyway...

>>213610906 (OP)
They are an improvement, the only mistake Jackson made was not deviating even more from the books.

>>213610906 (OP)
Wait until you read this.

>>213610906 (OP)
Tolkien is mid when you actually start reading books.

>>213610906 (OP)
nope I fell for this meme

the movies follow the same trajectory as the books but take 1/10 the time. I'm halfway through return of the king audiobook and it's sooooo boring

I really hate bookfags desu. Not every good story has a movie adaptation, because they cost money etc. but if they adapt a book adequately, the experience is the same or better than the book. there's no point reading a book when there's a high quality movie version

>>213611018
> me, when I'm having sex

>>213611464
Then you should read(listen) to books that can never be adapted to the big screen.

>>213610921
You most be 18 to post here zoomie

>>213611464
>DURRRRRR BUK 2 LONG ME WANT ORC FITE WHERE ORC FITE *soifaces* OMG ITS LE BALROG SO KINOOOOOOOOOOO
It's Lord of the Rings, not the WWE, you fucking gimp. It's called building character and worldbuilding. This is where Jackson fell flat entirely. If you don't already know the series via the books you have no in movie reason to give a fuck about Frodo or Sam or any of these characters. They feel like some dudes who just happen to travel together like a ramshackle D&D party rather than people bound by common values and who actually have a reason to be together and care about one another. It's a decent enough trilogy by Hollywood standards, but the characters may as well be "generic fantasy party goes to save the day".

>>213610906 (OP)
Nah, it’s probably the one time the movies outclass the book. The pacing absolutely wrecks any tension the story might have in the book.
Oh, and the action sucks so much more. It’s basically:
>and then hero swoops in Ames cuts goblins head off
It fucking sucks ass and builds no tension in fights.
Robert E Howard was much better at delivering powerful and kinetic energy (by using Homeric Similes to mimic the way Homer and the Ancient Greek used action) in his short stories with Conan the Cimmerian and it’s much better at it than Lord of the Rings (only good action is the Sam vs Shelob fight which is the best part of the entire book anyway).
Only thing the book has over the movies in its totality is Scourging of the Shire.

>DURRRRRR BUK 2 LONG ME WANT ORC FITE WHERE ORC FITE *soifaces* OMG ITS LE BALROG SO KINOOOOOOOOOOO
I say this

>>213611671
Did you read the excerpt that anon posted from The Two Towers? If you think the hollyshlock slop scene from Hackson matches that, you're a fucking idiot.

>>213611018
>>213611060
>>213611069
The movies make it seem like Sam is in danger and Shelob has close calls where she almost kills him. In the books it is a masterfully written mogging

>>213611671
Good take on Howard, dogshit marianas trench opinion on everything else though.

>>213610906 (OP)
Tolkien's worldbuilding is SHIT. The great bulk of it is family trees and philology. He doesn't EVER elaborate on how Gondorians think and feel, their cultural practices and so on and how these might differ from the men of Rohan. Or what really differentiates a dark elf from a high elf beyond the journeys their ancestors took. We know next to nothing about what actually constitutes an orc, and EVEN LESS about the Easterlings and the people of Khand.
He also tends to brush off pivotal battles as if they were nothing of importance. Everything builds up to a conflict, and he either skips over the thing or gives you a laundry list account without any real narrative dynamic. Then he focuses on what's really important: describing a tree for 10 fucking pages.
Ironically though, despite his detailed descriptions, Middle-Earth is STILL lifeless in many ways. Thousands of years pass in the story and absolutely nothing happens, like the world's been paused. There are thousands of miles of wilderness between civilizations that should've realistically expanded that are just described as empty. Had he spent less pages describing what the left dwarf on the right's green button looked like and given more attention to substance then LOTR would've been much better books. But no, they are, in fact, verbose GARBAGE.

>>213611018
>Sam sprang in, inside the arches of her legs

>>213612037
>but what about their tax policy

>>213610906 (OP)
Liked the movies better before reading the books 2bh. Making it into a 00s action blockbuster with all the dated cgi, it's just icky.

>>213612037
>describing a tree for 10 fucking pages.
Without fail, this is the line that redditors who have never actually read the books always betray their ignorance with.

>>213610906 (OP)
I’m sorry that we didn’t get an additional 13 hours of camping and just general dicking around.

>>213610906 (OP)
/tv/ isn't really the ideal board to brag about how smart you are for reading.

Try /lit/. It's terrible, but so was your post.

>>213612156
that post is just pasta

>>213612246
>/lit/
>terrible
Someone isn't as smart as they like to think they are.

>>213612095
What did Monolith mean by this?

>>213612246
You don't need to be smart to read Stephen King

>>213612281
thank you for making sure you didn't misgender anon

The director's cuts are the only acceptable way to watch the movies. The theatrical cuts leave out a metric shit ton of important stuff to the point that they're a nigh-incomprehensible mess.

>>213612369
It's pretty clear they needed a secondary villain that wasn't an Orc but still would be recognizable, and chose Shelob but made her be more involved in the world and an actual 'web spinner' instead of just being a giant angry spider that lives in a smelly cave and eats an orc once a month

>>213610906 (OP)
The books are 'tismslop. Terrible writing and too much focus on unimportant bullshit like the fucking geography and language and lore. At least the Hobbit was passable because I guess this guy thought only adults would be into his autistic ramblings. Which is weird because lotr is clearly also a children's story.

>>213612369
>>213612647
Friendly reminder the writer of this schlock tried to argue it was lore accurate and that shelob was a maiar and got bullied off the internet by Tolkien autists, and we were right to do it

>>213612670
cringe

>>213612737
Being afraid of cringe is a sign a being an npc. And liking Tolkien's retarded obsession with lore and worldbuilding is a sign of being a boomer.

>>213612729
They should have been beaten, by Allah

>>213611381
KINO

No one suffered as much as my nigga Turin

>>213610906 (OP)
OP the books are absolute masterpieces but the movies are as good as we’ll get. Some things just don’t translate to film and there’s some changes that sucked with the movies, but a 1:1 isn’t going happen.

>>213611018
>>213611060
>>213611069
well done anon, thanks

>>213612802
we made him delete his stupid blog and run back to his cave to lick his wounds, I feel a great swell of pride when I think about it, he could've just said
>its just for narrative purposes for a bit of fun
but no he tried to argue it was accurate, he brought it on himself, talk shit get hit.

>>213612130
Reading the books really makes you realize how much hollyslop Jackson put into the movies to increase "stakes". The books revel in their slow moments full of world building. Also you get none of the Tolkien perspective for world building. In the movies Shelob is just a giant spider thats an obstacle for Sam. The books paint a far greater picture of exactly what kind of evil Sam triumphed over (and Sam himself wasn't even aware of).

>There agelong she had dwelt, an evil thing in spider-form, even such as once of old had lived in the Land of the Elves in the West that is now under the Sea, such as Beren fought in the Mountains of Terror in Doriath, and so came to Lúthien upon the green sward amid the hemlocks in the moonlight long ago. How Shelob came there, flying from ruin, no tale tells, for out of the Dark Years few tales have come. But still she was there, who was there before Sauron, and before the first stone of Barad-dyr; and she served none but herself, drinking the blood of Elves and Men, bloated and grown fat with endless brooding on her feasts, weaving webs of shadow; for all living things were her food, and her vomit darkness. Far and wide her lesser broods, bastards of the miserable mates, her own offspring, that she slew, spread from glen to glen, from the Ephel Dúath to the eastern hills, to Dol Guldur and the fastnesses of Mirkwood. But none could rival her, Shelob the Great, last child of Ungoliant to trouble the unhappy world.

>>213610906 (OP)
Watch soviet fellowship of the ring on youtube. They have Tom Bombadil.

>>213611116
>fails wokeshit juden test
Is there a list of movies that fail this "test"? Because they're likely the coolest and most based films then, practically a must-watch rec list

>>213612840
>>213612729
Based

>I enjoy Legolas singing and wanted it in the films

>Faramir is tempted by The One
>no Scouring
>no Tom Bombadil
>Frodo's character is butchered
>Sam is tempted by The One
What else did the movies fuck up?

>>213612983
Gimli is a stoic badass not comic relief

>>213613036
That's true, and Legolas and him being total bros doesn't feel remotely as natural when it's incredibly important in showing the healing of the relationship between the Elves and Dwarves.

>>213612983
Sam actually uses The One, hen he's trying to get into cirith ungol their are these two gargoyle statues that have some sort of magical barrier Sam uses The Ring to get past them, they kinda had they kinda had them outside minas morgul instead but they don't seem to do anything. Also makes Sam resisting temptation that much more impactful

>>213612983
Frodo rides to Rivendell on Glorfindels horse by himself, he's the one that challenges the Nazgul to cross the river not Arwen, I don't hate the change gives her something to do but it still annoys me sometime, also its Elrond that summons the river as he's a Ring Bearer he has mastery over his lands

from the pen of a superior fantasist *rips captain's cap*

>>213613168

"As he stood there, even though the Ring was not on him but hanging by its chain about his neck, he felt himself enlarged, as if he were robed in a huge distorted shadow of himself, and vast and ominous threat halted upon the walls of Mordor..."

"Wild fantasies arose in his mind; and he saw Samwise the Strong, Hero of the Age, striding with a flaming sword across the darkened land, and armies flocking to his call as he marched to the overthrow of Barad-dur... He had only to put on the Ring and claim it for his own, and all this could be. "


"In that hour of trial it was the love of his master that helped most to hold him firm; but also deep down in him lived still unconquered his plain hobbit-sense: he knew in the core of his heart that he was not large enough to bear such a burden, even if such visions were not a mere cheat to betray him. The one small garden of a free gardener was all his need and due, not a garden swollen to a realm; his own hands to use, not the hands of others to command."

>>213613281
God, Sam is such a masterfully written character.

>>213612983
Faramir being tempted for obvious reasons (his whole character's struggle is wishing that he could be more recognised, and taking the ring would be the easiest way to do it) and then overcoming temptation is more kino than just not caring at all. The books have too many characters who are completely immune to the ring and it greatly diminishes its sense of threat and power. It's more impactful when Aragorn is the only human who never even considers being tempted by the ring.

>>213610906 (OP)
Yes, the movies are comfy and the cast is great, but they've always been dumbed down slop-tier adaptations.

>>213610906 (OP)
simply not enough song was included in the film to make it make sense. hobbits sing, so let them.

>>213613419
it gave frodo and sam something to do as they were moving shelob to rotk, also of course sure gave faramir some more interaction with them, but it also diminishes him as a character, with boromir it took months being right next to the ring before the temptation took hold, with faramir its like 30 seconds

I will say, there is one truly kino movie original moment, I still tear up every time

>>213612037
>t. Amazon writer
AW LAWDY LAWD

>>213611018
"Yo, bitch, that's my friend you're fucking with!" Sam cried, waving his blade about like a man shaking his dick after a good piss. :"You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us you filthy eight legged whore!" Despite his fear, his halfling cock was hard with a rage boner and his blood was boiling like hot jizz.

>>213613585
its not exactly the same but they are adapting this scene
On the throne sat a mail-clad man, a great sword was laid across his knees, but he wore no helm. As they drew near he rose. And then they knew him, changed as he was, so high and glad of face, kingly, lord of Men, dark-haired with eyes of grey.

Frodo ran to meet him, and Sam followed close behind. ‘Well, if this isn’t the crown of all!’ he said. ‘Strider, or I’m still asleep!’

'Yes, Sam, Strider,’ said Aragorn. ‘It is a long way, is it not, from Bree, where you did not like the look of me? A long way for us all, but yours has been the darkest road.’

And then to Sam’s surprise and utter confusion he bowed his knee before them; and taking them by the hand, Frodo upon his right and Sam upon his left, he led them to the throne, and setting them upon it, he turned to the men and captains who stood by and spoke, so that his voice rang over all the host, crying:

‘Praise them with great praise!’

its fine works well for the movie

>>213610974
>filler
I bet you were filtered by the poetry.

>>213613683
Tolkien's prose is nothing short of masterful

>>213613744
It's okay. A truly great writer shows you what to think, doesn't outrightly tell you.

>>213612095
>>213612369
>Christopher, my son, did I ever tell you the full story of Shelob? You know, the monstrous spider - descended from the vile Ungoliant! - which I used to read aloud of in our Oxford meetings of the Inklings? Well what I didn't mention back then was Shelob could also transform into a totally hot babe: all pale and dark and wan like Rebecca in Ivanhoe or what will later come to be known as the goth subculture. In fact she looked very much like the pornographic actress Stoya who will be born 13 years after I die. Christopher, I will be entrusting you with my estate. If there is ever a videogame adaptation of my work you must make sure they get this Shelob right - make sure she is what the Anglo-Saxons would have called a hæða ecge, a real sexy bitch.

We will never experience something like The Fellowship Of The Ring. And yes, the problem is niggers. It's fucking niggers. Simple as that. Jesuschrist, the elves from The Rings of Power looked like an ad from United Colors of Benetton.

I simply can't watch magical negroes

Are there actually any black people in LOTR? Does Tolkien ever mention this?

>>213613744
There is a lot of passages I like but this is one of my favorite

The Breaking of the Gate

Ever since the middle night the great assault had gone on. The drums rolled. To the north and to the south company upon company of the enemy pressed to the walls. There came great beasts, like moving houses in the red and fitful light, the mûmakil of the Harad dragging through the lanes amid the fires huge towers and engines. Yet their Captain cared not greatly what they did or how many might be slain: their purpose was only to test the strength of the defence and to keep the men of Gondor busy in many places. It was against the Gate that he would throw his heaviest weight. Very strong it might be, wrought of steel and iron, and guarded with towers and bastions of indomitable stone, yet it was the key, the weakest point in all that high and impenetrable wall.
The drums rolled louder. Fires leaped up. Great engines crawled across the field; and in the midst was a huge ram, great as a forest-tree a hundred feet in length, swinging on mighty chains. Long had it been forging in the dark smithies of Mordor, and its hideous head, founded of black steel, was shaped in the likeness of a ravening wolf; on it spells of ruin lay. Grond they named it, in memory of the Hammer of the Underworld of old. Great beasts drew it, Orcs surrounded it, and behind walked mountain-trolls to wield it.
But about the Gate resistance still was stout, and there the knights of Dol Amroth and the hardiest of the garrison stood at bay. Shot and dart fell thick; siege-towers crashed or blazed suddenly like torches. All before the walls on either side of the Gate the ground was choked with wreck and with bodies of the slain; yet still driven as by a madness more and more came up.

>>213610945
Why don't hobbits wear shoes? Yeah, I get it, they have big feet. So what? If my feet were 25% bigger, I'd get 25% bigger shoes. I'm not walking around without shoes on. I'd cut my feet, and it would be cold in winter.

>>213610906 (OP)
Both are good, the movies being bad is either a psyop by shitposters who strike gold for engagement by attacking a much beloved series or "a-akshually" tier nerdfags who thinks that anyone outside their sperg enclave cares about the minutiae within the books instead of the overall spirit of one of the greatest stories ever told.

>>213610906 (OP)
True

>>213614121
Grond crawled on. Upon its housing no fire would catch; and though now and again some great beast that hauled it would go mad and spread stamping ruin among the orcs innumerable that guarded it, their bodies were cast aside from its path and others took their place.
Grond crawled on. The drums rolled wildly. Over the hills of slain a hideous shape appeared: a horseman, tall, hooded, cloaked in black. Slowly, trampling the fallen, he rode forth, heeding no longer any dart. He halted and held up a long pale sword. And as he did so a great fear fell on all, defender and foe alike; and the hands of men drooped to their sides, and no bow sang. For a moment all was still.
The drums rolled and rattled. With a vast rush Grond was hurled forward by huge hands. It reached the Gate. It swung. A deep boom rumbled through the City like thunder running in the clouds. But the doors of iron and posts of steel withstood the stroke.
Then the Black Captain rose in his stirrups and cried aloud in a dreadful voice, speaking in some forgotten tongue words of power and terror to rend both heart and stone.
Thrice he cried. Thrice the great ram boomed. And suddenly upon the last stroke the Gate of Gondor broke. As if stricken by some blasting spell it burst asunder: there was a flash of searing lightning, and the doors tumbled in riven fragments to the ground.
In rode the Lord of the Nazgûl. A great black shape against the fires beyond he loomed up, grown to a vast menace of despair. In rode the Lord of the Nazgûl, under the archway that no enemy ever yet had passed, and all fled before his face.

>>213614174
All save one. There waiting, silent and still in the space before the Gate, sat Gandalf upon Shadowfax: Shadowfax who alone among the free horses of the earth endured the terror, unmoving, steadfast as a graven image in Rath Dínen.
‘You cannot enter here,’ said Gandalf, and the huge shadow halted. ‘Go back to the abyss prepared for you! Go back! Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your Master. Go!’
The Black Rider flung back his hood, and behold! he had a kingly crown; and yet upon no head visible was it set. The red fires shone between it and the mantled shoulders vast and dark. From a mouth unseen there came a deadly laughter.
‘Old fool!’ he said. ‘Old fool! This is my hour. Do you not know Death when you see it? Die now and curse in vain!’ And with that he lifted high his sword and flames ran down the blade.
Gandalf did not move. And in that very moment, away behind in some courtyard of the City, a cock crowed. Shrill and clear he crowed, recking nothing of wizardry or war, welcoming only the morning that in the sky far above the shadows of death was coming with the dawn.
And as if in answer there came from far away another note. Horns, horns, horns. In dark Mindolluin’s sides they dimly echoed. Great horns of the North wildly blowing. Rohan had come at last.

Fin

Who's your favorite character bros? Why?

>>213614057
>Gothmog the lieutenant of Morgul had flung them into the fray; Easterlings with axes, and Variags of Khand, Southrons in scarlet, and out of Far Harad black men like half-trolls with white eyes and red tongues.
It's unclear, and a matter of debate, whether "half-trolls" refer to actual crossbred beings (like Saruman's half-orcs/orc-men) or if it's simply a fanciful term to describe ordinary black people (who would have a completely bizarre appearance to anyone not from Harad).

>>213611196
Silence, foid

>>213614127
because they aren't human, their feet are tough as hardened leather, also one of the reason they are so sneaky

>>213614202
speaking of scens the movie fucked up this is one of the major ones, not the Witch King doesn't break Gandalfs staff, no Shadowfax isn't afraid, god I hate that scene in the movie

>>213613744
Thats what you think is masterful? Jesus Christ.

>>213614408
idiot

>>213614408
>praise them with praise
>Such masterfully crafted script. Truly the gods themselves spoke to Tolkien

>>213614515
>with great praise
and yes it is masterful, you fat cunt fat cunt fat controller

>>213614127
>>213614353
If you go barefoot for your entire life then your feet will get tough enough that you won't feel major pain from walking on rough terrain. Homo Sapiens was a round for hundreds of thousands of years before shoes were invented, and in that time Man proliferated across deserts, swamps, mountains, plains, rivers, and forests.

>>213614585
thats nice however hobbits aren't human and their feet are naturally much tougher then humans, couple that with going their whole life without shoes and you start to get the picture

>>213614614
>hobbits arent human
>literally belong to the race of men in lotr lore

>>213614667
no they don't you have no idea what you are talking about.

>>213611628
I guess I liked denithor better in the book
but frodo and sam being genuine friends instead of master and n word slave was way better

also the polite conversations that go on for like 1 hour are too long in the book, just to meet and greet and catch up some side character on the plot

>>213614408
>set the foundation of fantasy as we know it
>still talked about 80 years later
Lmao, cope.

>>213610906 (OP)
>not a single POC in the entire trilogy
Will we ever experience this again bros?

>>213614832
Is this why they course corrected so hard for the Amazon slop?

>17 year timeskip