Anonymous
8/13/2025, 8:35:34 PM No.213646519
>be me
>longtime supes fan
>grew up watching Reeves, reading comics, hoping hollywood will get it "right" again
>hear James "quirky quip" Gunn is making the new Superman
>groan but w/e, optimism.exe is still running
>movie starts
>first joke lands 5 seconds in, something about supes cape getting caught in a door
>haha okay fine, warm-up gag
>except it never stops
>every 2 minutes it's another MCU-tier "heh, that just happened"
>lois drops a line like "yikes, that's gonna leave a mark" after supes gets blasted through a wall
>2009 facebook meme humor in 2025
>audience laughing like trained seals
>i'm dying inside
>superman's supposed to be near invincible, right?
>Gunn's supes gets knocked down like 9 times in the first hour
>b-list thug throws him into a dumpster and he groans in pain
>some robot shoots him and he actually bleeds
>this is the guy who tanks nukes and arm-wrestles gods
>Gunn writes him like a hungover gym bro who skipped breakfast
>all in the name of "adding takes"
>actually just neutering the most powerful hero in comics
>cast chemistry is non-existent
>superman and lois have all the spark of two coworkers making small talk in the elevator
>jimmy olsen feels like an npc that wandered in from a netflix teen drama
>every interaction feels like a first table read
>Gunn thinks it's Guardians-style "found family" banter
>in reality it's just hollow cringe and tiktok dialogue
>"what's up senpai" coming out of Jimmy's mouth should be punishable by law
>end credits roll
>no hype, no magic, just exhaustion
>walk out of theater feeling like I just watched a 2-hour tiktok compilation with worse pacing
>James Gunn somehow made superman boring *and* annoying
>never thought I'd miss Sny'der dark filter and 300 style slo-mo
At least he didn't have Superman lose to a guy with a crowbar.
>longtime supes fan
>grew up watching Reeves, reading comics, hoping hollywood will get it "right" again
>hear James "quirky quip" Gunn is making the new Superman
>groan but w/e, optimism.exe is still running
>movie starts
>first joke lands 5 seconds in, something about supes cape getting caught in a door
>haha okay fine, warm-up gag
>except it never stops
>every 2 minutes it's another MCU-tier "heh, that just happened"
>lois drops a line like "yikes, that's gonna leave a mark" after supes gets blasted through a wall
>2009 facebook meme humor in 2025
>audience laughing like trained seals
>i'm dying inside
>superman's supposed to be near invincible, right?
>Gunn's supes gets knocked down like 9 times in the first hour
>b-list thug throws him into a dumpster and he groans in pain
>some robot shoots him and he actually bleeds
>this is the guy who tanks nukes and arm-wrestles gods
>Gunn writes him like a hungover gym bro who skipped breakfast
>all in the name of "adding takes"
>actually just neutering the most powerful hero in comics
>cast chemistry is non-existent
>superman and lois have all the spark of two coworkers making small talk in the elevator
>jimmy olsen feels like an npc that wandered in from a netflix teen drama
>every interaction feels like a first table read
>Gunn thinks it's Guardians-style "found family" banter
>in reality it's just hollow cringe and tiktok dialogue
>"what's up senpai" coming out of Jimmy's mouth should be punishable by law
>end credits roll
>no hype, no magic, just exhaustion
>walk out of theater feeling like I just watched a 2-hour tiktok compilation with worse pacing
>James Gunn somehow made superman boring *and* annoying
>never thought I'd miss Sny'der dark filter and 300 style slo-mo
At least he didn't have Superman lose to a guy with a crowbar.
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