>Rev up the popcorn babe, we're watching kino tonight

How do you respond?

Why is my imaginary girlfriend speaking like a 4channeler?

>>213713056 (OP)
goofy pants

I shit my pants

Tell her to take off those ridiculous pants and then unzip my dick.

i wish i had a gf bros...

>>213713056 (OP)
I wouldn't be watching, I would be listening to the sounds her throat makes on my tiny penis and that's what no one else did

>>213713113
Not that hard bro, just beeeeeeee urself lol

>>213713113
LMAOOOO this nigga don't have a gf

>>213713146
you made a webm of your gf to post on 4chan?

>>213713107
How do you unzip a dick? Is this an artificial dick that has a zipper on it?

>>213713056 (OP)
>white carpet

they're gonna have to replace that whole thing in like 15 years, maybe less

>>213713179
You pull the zipper down dumbass.

>>213713179
Bro, just do a 360 and walk straigh outta here

>>213713179
did you not pay attention in sex ed?

>>213713179
No, it's my real dick. The zipper is an elaborate piercing for foreskin restoration.

>>213713179
walk the dinosaur

>>213713056 (OP)
Are Jncos back? I have to go to my parents house and check my old closet

>>213713056 (OP)
Is the photo supposed to be ironic or

>>213713113
My gf has turned into my wife with perimenopause who can’t help but nag me and berate me. I haven’t had sex in more than a year. She convinced me not to have children and now I’m 40 and basically alone.

>>213713504
loser

>>213713575
I know, but now call me based so I feel better.

>>213713107
>ridiculous pants
this woman is wearing pants that are comfy and actually have useable pockets on them. if you were a sex haver you would know how rare this is. this woman is a keeper, probably in the top 1% of female IQ

>>213713504

>>213713056 (OP)
this bitches nudes are unreal

>>213713056 (OP)
>Realistically
Of course my queen! You look like THAT and still somehow decided to be with me so your every wish is my command!

>>213713113
Stop it.
They're hell on Earth.

>>213713504
damn
i believe im approaching the same situation, minus the lack of sex and i have 2 kids
my wife is already crazy i cant imagine what shell be like in 10 more years. shes 35 and im 38

>>213713113
Me too. I’m married.

>>213713825
The hormones from the patches drive him insane. Shannon is responsible for their deaths.

>>213713945
My stats exactly except m 37. My wife isn’t crazy yet but her mother is. Like in a mental hospital we don’t let her see our kids crazy. How cooked am I?

>>213713179
have sex

>>213714180
oh shit
my moms 60 but has onset dementia and shit from the vaxx(i tried to stop her)and her diabetes and sometimes she just loses it
her mom isnjust completely unlike my wife, shes not very intelligent and lacks awareness but seems mentally sound and shes like 70 almost
i dunno how far that can transfer into a daughter, mine acts like me.
you might be in for a ride honestly.
alot of this shit is genetic i think

>>213714180
>37
>cooked

stop talking like a faggot zoomer for one

>>213713146
Shit gay webm. I thought something funny would happen, like the guy slapping his gf or pulling a prank on her. Do better.

>>213713113
Eh, you'd probably end up in some idubbz situation. It's not worth it.

>>213713113
>>213713504
KWAB

>>213713113
I'll be your girlfriend, bro.

>>213714661
yeah i wasnt bothered by it but i agree its in poor taste to post that.
just a malicious intention to make anons sad or unhappy, but maybe thats what they need to bee themselves!

>>213713375
zoomettes seem to wear baggy jeans but zoomers still wear those tight ones. weird ass generation

>>213713179
Have you really been far even as decided to use even go want to look more like unzip your dick?

>>213713113
haha, they aren't that good anon. You'd get tired of most of them after about a year. Only a lucky few people find "true love." I almost did, but not really. Sex is fun though, and some other parts of it are fun.

Women just piss me off to look at when I'm not horny

>>213713056 (OP)
I thought we were watching Godzilla

>>213714879
Zoomer faggots all wear their pants around their knees. I wish zoomettes did the same. But just the attractive ones.

>>213713056 (OP)
I front kick her through the tv.

>>213713179
>he doesnt have a colostomy dick
Well excuse me, some of us don't have perfect health.

Here's the secret my wife watches all that dogshit and the office on repeat while she works from home and in the evening we watch Star Trek together

>>213713504
>I haven’t had sex in more than a year
She had sex though. You know that, right?

>>213713056 (OP)
Looks like a good 90 minute mental nap. Wouldn't pay attention to the movie, would just sit and stare at the wall while disassociating, only listening out for her voice, pretending to be paying attention.

>>213713113
You'll find one anon, don't lose hope
I thought the idea of a soulmate was hallmark bullshit until I found my fiance. As gay as it sounds, she's the only person I've met that actually makes me genuinely laugh and is interesting to talk to.
It's nice to have that closeness with someone.
Don't ever lose hope.

>>213713825
kek I was thinking the same thing.

>>213713504
>I haven’t had sex in more than a year.
Same, but I've been 2.5 years
She just decided around one christmas that she won't have sex anymore
Bitches be crazy
Worst part is my drive is insane I masturbate like 2-3 a times a day and jog 10 miles
One day I fear I could go to the supermarket, snap, and kill as many people possible with a a can of beans untill I police suicide

>>213713504
just go to a rub and tug on the way home from work you fucking idiot. women are much easier to put up with when your balls are empty

>>213713056 (OP)
Receiving a blowjob from my girlfriend when she’s got popcorn kernel shells stuck in her teeth is like getting blown by a cheese grater, we’ll be eating crab legs instead.

>>213715548
You need to talk to and flirt with women in front of her. You’ve lost your social value with her.

>>213716068
She has crippling depression and barely leaves the house anon
But thanks for your concern