>Come quick and gather, young hobbits, Gandalf the Gay has candies in his cart!

>>213774714 (OP)
Imagine the joy of Ian McKellan, er "Gandalf", after discovering a race of perpetual little boys.

Seriously how do Hobbits avoid getting molested by humans 100% or the time?

>>213774768
Unfortunately they don't. As the films showed, Ian McKellan can fit into a Hobbit Hole although it;s not the most comfortable thing, but he knocks a few times with his wizard staff and makes it work. Just imagine the One Ring the morning after, the fiery brown Eye of Mordor! That's definitely going to leave a mark that any dwarf would recognize.

>>213774714 (OP)
>Ah my sweet Frodo, my little tweak boy accomplice baiting even younger hobbits to satisfy my sick depravation

>>213775000
Now you know why the pedophile Ian McKellan gave Frodo a magical ring that slows aging.

>>213775065
To kill Sauron?

>>213774768
Saruman raped them all

>>213775853
But Saruman's now just sitting in his Goon Tower, watching hobbits on his magical Goon Sphere. Ian McKellan's the real jobber homosexual, out there doing the work, visiting hobbit villages and giving them +1 Potions of Cosby.

>>213774893
This reads as an ai post

>>213776768
Maybe it is just in case roger

>>213774714 (OP)
>an entire country full of shortstacks
>with no competition
Heaven on Earth.

>>213776738
Saruman literally went to the Shire and enslaved all of the hobbits to do any and everything he commanded

>>213774768
if I lived in this world I'd keep 5 or 6 female hobbits in a dungeon as fucktoys

>>213776908
Sorry, I don't read fan fiction by that Tolkien guy,

>Release the hobbits, tree bear, they belong to me. I'm no longer Gandalf the Gay but Gandalf the Blight

>>213777330
I knew palantir will drive the point home and miss "am to proffesional and in charge to know what a palantir is" will buy it and fuck up

>I've fucked half of you half as hard as I should like, and I've fucked less than half of you half as hard as you deserve

>>213778398

>they are taking the hobbits to Jizzengard

>>213779192
Wanna come?

>>213776738
GOONDOR

>>213774768
It's the feet.

>>213776908
/tv/ is for movies, if you wanna talk books go back to /lit/

>>213779715
No, just shut the fuck up

>>213774714 (OP)
>>213774761
>>213774768
>>213774893
>>213775000
>>213775065
>>213775853
>>213776738
>>213777330
>>213778398

Very sick. Very very sick