>stay in this windowless, airless prison for 3 days
>that'll be $5000

Sure, I'll stay in your space-age fart closet.

>>213844802 (OP)
It's supposed to be le experience. Like your on le hecking star wars spaceshit. I sure hope they at least had some "windows" showing images of galaxies or something.

>>213844802 (OP)
Proof people will pay for their own prisons in life
We're not too far from people paying to be tortured so as to feel something through the numbness of modern life

>>213845212
Last weekend I paid a dominatrix $400 to kick me in the balls and beat me. She also made me lick her armpits. Then she urinated in my mouth.

>>213845344
>A retard is irresponsible with his money
What a surprise

>>213845393
But it was a great use of my money though

>>213844802 (OP)
>Hop in, dude!

Why did they pick the Sequel era? No one with enough money for this cared about the sequels.

And why "galactic cruise liner" theme? It looks nothing like any of the films. If they want windowless hotel, they should have done a Star Destroyer or Death Star. But windowless is retarded. You are in Florida. People want to enjoy the Florida weather. They should have done a Yavin temple so they could embrace the climate. Plant vines everywhere and let people hang out in a large open hanger.

>>213844880
They did but the glare on the glass of those fake windows made it really hard to look good on cameras.

>>213846219
>Why did they pick the Sequel era?

Forcing the brand

>>213845344
Fuck you nigger my favorite escort became an exclusive dom because you pathetic weirdos pay for this shit. She was a hot blonde yoga bimbo with a super tight pussy

>>213846219
Because they made it an interconnected LARP experience with the theme park land that's also stuck in the Sequel era and you're being herded between things on your schedule in the activity spaces of the hotel and that theme park land so much the rooms kinda just exist to sleep in. The most outdoor space you get in that hotel is a small garden courtyard meant to be the ship's "Climate Simulator".
Meanwhile the space luxury motif is there because Disney's trying to pander to a luxury market, but when your idea of what those people want is "Suck the soul out of our normal hotel rooms by replacing the theming with generic fancy hotel vibes with Disney characters on the walls and building generic towers", I don't think that audience are the ones that are going to buy into the fantasy space cruise LARP thing.

>>213845344
>>213845718
Tell me this, because I've always been curious. This obviously turns you on, but Doms are always emphatic that they are NOT prostitutes. So do you just leave with blue balls or what?

>>213846219
You ask like these are deliberate design decisions.

They aren't. It's soulless.

>>213846903
Damn, starwars fans really are a bunch of petty autistic fucks aren't they? How autistic does one have to be to notice this shit? Also it's completely plausible different sabres have different operating controls anyways, that curved Saber for example

>>213846965
Awesome business acumen bro. You should work at Lucasfilm.

>>213847009
There were a lot of logic problems with light sabres long before the new movies anon, like how it can tear through flesh and steel in some cases and then just graze brick or steel in other cases like when obi wan fights Vader on the death star, getting upset over which button opens it is ridiculous

It's more fun to rent a regular hotel and stand on the balcony naked.

>>213844802 (OP)
Making a future hotel is retarded because it’ll never be good enough.

>>213845344
I'll kick you in the balls for free

>>213846903
>They aren't.
They (the imagineers) said: “Well, yesterday Bob Iger met with Kathleen Kennedy, who a lot of people may know is sort of George Lucas’ protege, and headed up Lucasfilm, And they had a conversation, a meeting, and Kathleen Kennedy, her point of view was there are way more Disney Star Wars stories ahead of us than behind us. So we really should think about, do we want to build a Tatooine and build what all of the fifty-somethings remember Star Wars as, or do we want to build something else which is going to appeal to all the upcoming generations who are going to know the new stories.”

>>213846965
It's the same saber, but that's a good story for another time

>>213847059
kys ESL shitskin

>>213846683
>Forcing the brand
How'd that work out for them?

>>213847559
>It's the same saber, but that's a good story for another time
Okay, well if it's anything like a gun it needs maintenance and can be modified which is pretty likely to happen given how many years pass between ownership. It's still a retarded thing to get upset about

>>213844802 (OP)
I've been to jail and it looked comfier, at least I got a blanket.. damn bruh

>>213847674
No, because it goes to show how little they respect the source material.

>>213844802 (OP)
Why would you pay $5000 dollars for a shitty Star Wars themed "hotel" rather than an actually 5-star hotel?

>you vill live in ze Star Wars pod

So did anyone pay for this?

>>213847674
>we NEED to copy everything that came before but also we need to fuck with it just enough that the teacher doesn't realize we copied George's homework

That's the essence of Disney Wars and it shows up in everything they do

>>213847059
>this cheese knife can cut through cheese if i cut down hard at a 90 degree angle but it wont cut shit if i just scrape it along the top!

>>213846219
>Why did they pick the Sequel era?
(((They))) need to push their propaganda as much as possible

Looks like shit.

>>213844880
No, they only had TVs showing the sequels 24/7

>>213847695
>So you've murdered twelve people, have a comfy place to live where you don't need to pay any bills or mortgage and your food is provided.

>>213845344
Hot

>>213845344
How do you even get off to that?

>>213845344
cool dude

>>213846965
Star Wars fans are trans, of course they're autistic

>>213844802 (OP)
Fucking grim.

>>213848255
Not even. You had to sign into your personal Disney+ account to watch anything. Pay $5k for a hotel stay and they can't even throw in two days of Disney+ lmao. Cheap fucks at Disney are running the parks into the ground.

>>213848593
>trans instead of tranny
Look, an actual leftoid.

i'm going down there in december with my family is Megan still there? was she in florida or california?

So why did it fail? I thought Star Wars fans would go to it

>>213848675
Fuck Yidsney

>>213845344
Some guys have all the luck...

>>213846219
>>213846683
>Picking the sequel era
Once again this is nothing but a rumor but apparently George in his agreement to sell star wars to Disney left in certain royalty agreements and I'm almost certain that its worded that if Disney makes use of certain characters, locations and iconography that he gets a cut of the piece of media being produced. If you remember Disney wad EXTREMELY against using anything even remotely related to the prequels for years until they gave in.

>>213847716
because they're consoomers

>>213847552
>park Rey
It should be illegal to be this beautiful.

>>213848700
because it was crappy

>>213848794
I think its also probably a marketing thing. They know the sequels are not remembered too fondly, they dont care. They will shove it down your throat until you like it. Sorta like how warhammer will introduce slightly larger models over time so you are always forced to buy new models, since its technically cheating to use old models with smaller sizes since they can hide in cover easier. They know kids dont like rey and the black guy but they will flood the toy stores with them until they do

>>213848700
Disney poisoned the brand to an unprecedented amount.

>>213844802 (OP)
>airless
>vent visible right there in the picture
?

>>213848363
I understand the pissing in the mouth part but I don't understand how any man can enjoy being kicked in the balls.

The worst thing they did with Galaxy's Edge as a whole was make it "canon." People wanted to meet Vader and Luke and Boba Fett, not any of the nuwars sequel shitters. Apparently they've reneged on this recently though because now the Mandalorian and other older characters are appearing.

>>213849047
I truly question with how shameless Disney has gotton with the fan service slop why they don't have a Maid Bar style Twilek bar. Considering now a days most of the people that visit Disney are adults anyway you know it would be popular.

>>213847716
Because its a two-night Star Wars LARP experience that with the theme park visit, was being propped up as the Sequel Trilogy's Shadows of the Empire equivalent.

Why do people even care about new Star Wars content in 2025?

>>213849047
There's still some canon autism in place, but with a caveat of "Characters from outside the ST timeframe can't interact with those guys or even be within their line of sight, as if guests are seeing a flashback to when actually cool people were hanging out at Black Spire Outpost on Batuu".

Even Disneyland's whole thing of having John Williams music play over the fireworks inside Galaxy's Edge has a whole framing device of it coming from a droid programmed to recount the legends of the Skywalkers.

It really is incredible how Disney has managed to absolutely destroy one of the biggest, most popular, and most influential pop culture juggernauts in history in less than 10 years.

>>213849392
mission accomplished.

>>213849225
>Stop watching that train crash!

>>213849084
They probably won't do it because of "muh misogyny" and "muh sexualization of women"

>>213849497
The train crashed years ago anon. There's nothing left but rubble

>>213847716
Pretty much the only people who went were youtubers reviewing it. The hotel went under almost immediately

>>213848260
Man, I'd kill to live in a place like that

>>213848260
No wonder migrants do all that shit

>>213849084
That's a lot of body paint and make up every shift

>>213845344
nice

Looks like shit

>>213844802 (OP)
>spend a trillion dollars to buy one of, if not the most recognizable IP ever
>an autistic girl bisects your hotel in a feature length vlog
>forced to shut down two months later

>>213846965
Disney literally pays people for these things, they had to go multiple back and forth with Electronic Arts to make sure that their Battlefront Games all fit in the canon.

>>213847552
This is probably what happened word for word. Suits are obsessed with this idea that if you throw in a skibidi dab nocap or a gay character you're locking in the modern audience in addition to all the captive old fans who are already baked into the IP

>>213848700
Because it's shit

>>213845344
That's cool, anon. You spent 400 dollars and still had a better time than a retard who spent 5000 on the star wars hotel. Youre good with money.

>>213850010
This sounds like a fictitious character, like you come up with the idea "Wouldn't it be funny if there was a guy who was obsessed with pineapples for my comedy sketch" and you write a sketch about a guy who is obsessed with pineapples because its funny even if you know its not realistic and no one is actually obsessed with pineapples

>>213849698
where the fuck do you live when you think that spare bedroom looking cell is an upgrade?

>Shit Wars

>>213849392
Star Wars as a franchise was struggling financially when they bought it, dumbass.

>>213849698
>>213849796
Norwegian prisons don't look like that
>t. migrant who has been in two (+deportation facility) for two years

>>213846219
>They should have done a Yavin temple so they could embrace the climate. Plant vines everywhere and let people hang out in a large open hanger.
Only reason I'd think they wouldn't do that is it'd clash with Avatar land otherwise yeah that seems more the move

>>213850203
>bought a "struggling" franchise for $4B when they bought all of Marvel for $4B just a couple years earlier
>first movie they put out makes $2B, $900M of that domestically
>nothing but downhill with each cheap movie or steaming series they release

>>213850203
Uhhh idk about that. George was coasting on the EU stuff for quite awhile and didn't heavily involve himself in stuff outside of the main films.

I will never forget mousecucks going on and on about how retarded it was Palpatine came back in a comic book barely regarded by the wider EU as proof of the sequels supremacy only for them to do it far worse

You used to be able to get a place like this in New York for $1200 a month. Then all the smelly jeets came over on their h1b visas and rent shot through the roof. And if you call them out on it they'll say "good morning saar" or some dumb shit. Just watch.

>>213845344
why are white people like this

>>213845344
Armpit licking is very underrated and the few girls I’ve done it to suddenly while having sex all squirted. I miss having sex :(

>>213849084
Disney isn't touching anything resembling a massage parlor, sorry, anon.

>>213850205
How to get free money and place to live in Norway if you're already from shitty Eastern EU? Do they only accept brown people?

>>213851001
>no mini fridge and microwave near computer
>stove instead

>>213849956
This. Anyone could do better on their own. Youtube has starfield channels and I'm sure people have extra TVs. I could do that and do wonders with a 3d printer.

>>213851269
You're a grown man. Stop eating hot pockets and drinking red bull and make some real food.

>>213851001
Dude I just want an artist loft anywhere in the EU in whatever art district in the center of a big city. And all those places are MILLIONS now and you could get them for $100k only a few years ago.

>>213845344
Sensually based

>>213844802 (OP)
Fuck Disney and fuck American consumerism but I really like the design of these "beds"

>>213851269
>offering a genuine reply to a bot posting AI generated images

>>213847674
>performing regular maintenance on my firearm
>I believe I would like the trigger in the front sight this time
>perfect

>>213851332
>>213851332
I just want one of those rundown warehouses guys use as a base in movies like Punisher or Blade. Chains and exposed ventilation everywhere. a rat bro crawling around, not even afraid of you and just casually scurrying up to you for a snack. metalworking machines in one corner, rusty makeshift gym and heavybag hanging from the rafters in another, 20 monitors hooked up to cctv cameras etc. I'll hire five random guys from craigslist and a hooker to be the femme fatale, invite them all to stand in front of a table and I'll unroll some giant blueprint and say "alright here's the plan".
I'll probably get sick of living there in a week and want to move back

>>213846219
Star Wars was a dead brand before Disney bought it. They forced the brand hard after buying it and convinced everyone that Star Wars is this huge thing you should care about.
They push the new shit because George Lucas doesn't have rights to any of the new stuff. George Lucas gets a cut from all Skywalker figurines but probably nothing from Rey figurines.

Not only did Disney convince everyone that Star Wars is this huge deal you should care about, they shill against the originals and have convinced the nuStar Wars fans that the old shit was never good.
Disney gets to move forward and not give anything to George Lucas. Their lawyers are good enough that they can argue none of the Disneyworld and hotel scam profits have to go to George.

>>213851539
You couldn't be more wrong yet you spout your bullshit with imaginary authority kek

>>213851539
>Star Wars was a dead brand before Disney bought it
>t- B. Eiger

Sure.

>>213851619
Didn't you know Star Wars also doesn't have any games, books, or comics either?! They totally had to start from scratch!

>>213851510
>move back
I just want somewhere to fucking move back to. Not having properties is the worst thing ever.

>>213846219
>enjoy Florida weather

>>213846832
You go home and jerk off to the memory

>>213851942
just create a memory palace with 4chan boards as the individual rooms in the palace. learn to lucid dream.

>>213847716
Last time I went on vaction it was an all-inclusive in Cabos, Mexico with the "Plus Package" enhancement and it was $2,500.00 all-in for two people for 10 days.

>>213851001
Dead people can't rent.

Slop Wars fans literally have zero standards

>>213845718
bros...

>>213851001
Obviously AI but it's actually a really cool concept. Terrible use of space but it would be a cool place to live.

>>213845344
Star Wars fans are all fin doms on some level.

>>213848260
Literally nicer than my room, I don't even have a bed (but mattress and beds seem to fuck my back up - I don't know how actually freaky tall or heavy people cope)

>>213851001
>3 floors
>1 bed
>3 offices
>2 bathrooms
>refrigerator outside of the kitchen
>part of the second floor is railed off from the stairway
>couch seats 6
>could easily fall to your death just getting out of bed too quick
AI grasp of interior design will always be hilarious.

>>213844802 (OP)
ON PROGRAM

>>213846219
>People want to enjoy the Florida weather.
Said no one who has spend 5 seconds in Florida.

Sounds dystopian

>>213845212
>MARLEY: “I wear the chain I forged in life,” replied the Ghost. “I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it. Is its pattern strange to you?”

>SCROOGE: “Yes, very. It is a ponderous chain!”

>MARLEY: “It is a chain!”—replied the Ghost, with a deep, hollow, and melancholy voice. “I made it of cash-boxes, keys, padlocks, ledgers, deeds, and heavy purses wrought in steel. I forged it with my own hands, and of my own free will. I wore it constantly in life, and it is my fate to wear it now in death. I am here tonight to warn you, that you have yet a chance and hope of escaping my fate.”

>SCROOGE (starting to stand): “But you always were a good man of business, Jacob.”

>MARLEY: “Business?! Humankind was my business! The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence were all my business! The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business! Oh, why did I walk through crowds of fellow beings with my eyes turned down, and never raise them to that blessed Star which led the Wise Men to a poor abode! Were there no poor homes to which its light would have conducted me? Hear me! My time is nearly done!”

A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens

>>213844802 (OP)
I wish more creative people that loved the property would be allowed to create shit. Instead it's always the most mediocre Mr. Krabs half assed bullshit made by stone spineless Steve or out of touch cunty Karen every God damn time. Even their "Star wars" land is fuckin lame.

>>213854101
My favorite:
>34 houseplants

>>213855403
We need a Squidward to do Star Wars

>>213848700

Couple of factors

>MASSIVELY overpriced ($4,800 at minimum for two guests)
>opened in March 2022 (during the post-COOF slump in hotels and well after public attitudes towards the Sequels had begun to sour)
>only 100 rooms
>largely based on the Sequel trilogy which everyone fucking hates
>incredibly bad customer service
>word of how shitty the hotel was quickly spread online, leading to a massive drop in bookings

Basically, the only way the price tag could have been justified would have been to open it in Reno, NV as a Star Wars-themed whorehouse where you could have orgies with Princess Leia and Twileks in slave bikinis. People might've actually been willing to cough up $5K for that.

>>213846219
They should have built it like this and had all the windows facing inwards with a big fucking planetarium space sculpture in the middle that rotates or something

>>213846832
there are even tease & denial sessions where the whole point is for her to leave you with blue balls.
Some dommes allow you to jerk off at the end of the session, although that's less common now than it was in the past. But you can jerk off at home if you want. It's not really the point of the session. And it's weird because although I'm into femdom a lot of guys into femdom want it to feel forced so basically we want to pretend that it doesn't turn us on.

>>213847463
are you a pretty girl?

>>213851142
there are Black dommes who do raceplay and will berate you for being a White pig and then shit in your mouth.

>>213853193
only pathetic simps do findom shit though. Findom didn't even exist until recently. Fuck those simps, they are ruining real femdom. I want to pay women to fart on me, not pay them to just sit behind their computer.

>>213856000
>I'm into femdom
You should kill yourself, faggot.

>>213846903
actually you gotta jerk that lightsaber to get all that light to come gushing out

>>213856091
>kill yourself
sorry bitchboy, but no. I think I'll get your sister to kill me instead. Maybe she can sit on my face until I suffocate to death while your mom stomps on my balls. How do you like THAT, hmm?

These LARP hotels could work if they used something grounded like Toy Story. Just make a tiny model of the world with Pizza Planet and Al's Toy Barn for merchandise and have small, animatronic Woody and Buzz dolls scuttling around your room at night.

>>213845718
The two girls laughing after she kicked his balls makes this so hot

>>213854101
>>213855791
Also
>Stove right in front of computer desk

>>213844802 (OP)
Yeah it shut down over a year ago. Where have you been?

>>213856483
>have small, animatronic Woody and Buzz dolls scuttling around your room at night.

Nightmare fuel

>>213856483

Anon you must be poor and your parents never took you to Disneyland, they already have a Pizza Planet & Al's Toybarn exactly as you described. But its just a themed arcade/pizza place and a merch shop, no hotels.

Sorry to hear you come from poor :(

>>213856605
this I wish the cameraman did a better job of catching that and it didn't cut off

>>213856674
>Anon invents the Puppet Master films as something you pay for

>>213844880
>I sure hope they at least had some "windows" showing images of galaxies or something.
premium channels.

>>213844802 (OP)
Galaxy Edge was Disney's attempt to match Universals Harry Potter areas.
It was embarrassing to have to play catch up but they would have been able to blow universal out of the water if they had gone with all their Imagineers ideas, instead they cheaped out and it came across as underwhelming.
The hotel was another attempt to one up Universal with a premium offering that fell flat.

>>213857133
Come to think if it a full Harry Potter themed hotel would probably sell gangbusters.
I wonder why they haven't done it?

>>213855880
>$4,800 at minimum for two guests
Part of the problem was that wasn't enough with the support network they needed for this project, with so few guests being able to be accommodated at once.
>guests wanna interact with Glup Shitto
>need Glup Shitto actor
>also need 2nd shift Glup Shitto, unless you're having him pull a 16-18 hour shift
>also also need a on-call Glup Shitto in case of sick calls
>repeat for every character

>>213856677
Anon, you must be easily amused and brown because It looked nothing like the movie's Pizza Planet

>>213857217
Because the earning potential is higher for their village. Look at these crowds, and imagine getting fifty or so bucks off the average one every hour of every day.

>>213844802 (OP)
Millennials love pods so they love this shit. I bet 95% of the (very little) money this shitty hotel made came from millennials.
I can already imagine them waddling down the hallways, bald manchildren with their overweight quirk chunguses tripping over one another to get to the next rey cringewalker event.
Imagine the pungent smell of body odor, disney brand perfume and fresh faux leather disney themed backpacks.

YUCK

>>213846123
No I already told you I will sit in the corner and watch while Daquan blows your back out! We have been over this so many times ffs. Look he has even put the Finn outfit.

>>213858176
I mean in addition to the parks.
Maybe have it connected to all three areas by another Hogwarts express.

>>213850205
>>213851263
Drep deg selv.

>>213858466
Anon, we've been over this a dozen times. Daquan wears the Finn outfit and screams REEEEY while you breed me with your BWC. Now get over here before I call my first order girlies over for a "discipline session".

>>213846123
How long has it been since the last video?

>>213845344
How did you become that way? I'm always curious when I hear about degenerates like that, like what made you thin "yeah I would like to try getting kicked in my balls and drinking piss"

>>213858723
like a couple weeks if you're on her Patreon (or know where that stuff gets uploaded)

>>213858994
>if you're on her Patreon
Why on earth would I do that?

>>213858671
y-yes queen

>>213858969
legit born that way. Some people might acquire the fetish later but I remember even in preschool I was trying to get girls to bully me.

>>213844802 (OP)
What fucking board am I on.

>>213845718
Is that Sophie Turner???

>>213859425
Good Porg

>>213844802 (OP)
>airless
>can clearly see the air vent in the top left corner of the image
Florida literally would not exist unless every building had constant air conditioning.

>>213859759
yes

>>213844802 (OP)
Are you allowed to have sex in this hotel?

Is the star wars hotel /tv/'s TORtanic? Which is to say that one thing people will never shut up about years and years after it closed?

>>213859836
Yes, but only with the twinks they hire to act as Finn

>>213859871
Star Wars Imperial Buck Breaker Hotel

>>213848700
it was just too expensive

>>213849047
>People wanted to meet Vader and Luke and Boba Fett
never understood why people would want that

>>213845344
Seek help. Find Jesus

>>213850002
it closed more than a year before her video came out

>>213859941
Jesus loves all… even those with a $400 sized hole in their wallet and bruised balls.

>>213844802 (OP)
that basedgoy can't even stretch his legs in that bunk

>>213846219
If they put windows people are aware of time passing so they spend less money, save up for eating later. Same reason cyber cafes in Japan and SK don't have windows. Or casinos in USA

>>213859979
I'm sure she did great things with the money.

>>213848700
Nobody cares about Star Wars anymore

>>213859853
>one thing people will never shut up about years and years after it closed?
The TORtantic actually sorted itself out and became reasonably successful

>>213848843

>>213858723
I think we all know how long it's been...

>>213845718
Stevros...

>>213860810
>Hey kid....
>Wanna /ss/?

>>213844822
funny part is, quite a few actually did
and it would've worked too if not for SöY Wars bullshit

>>213851001
GOD NYC must have been kino in that time. Now only billionaires can live in places like that.
>>213851269
Yeah why 2 stoves though?

>>213856360
kek, based femdom enjoyer

>>213847552
park rey could launch a thousand ships

>>213846123

>>213860810
wtf is the context of this

>>213862708
She was traveling through space looking for concubines

>>213851912
Correct. They had no choice but to junk the piles of books, video games, and films that didn't exist.

>>213846123
> She died shortly after criticizing Yidsney
F in chat the greatest cocksucker of all time, boys
Jenny blew me from the fucking back and had my balls popping out of my mushroom tip

>>213863424
Wait she died?

This looks ass, Star Wars is a multi-billion dollar franchise, why couldn't they do something better?

>>213844802 (OP)
Literally looks exactly like a hip youth hostel/dorm room in Europe or Japan/Korea

>>213844822
I prefer my all natural fart closet with no running water or AC (it's my Walmart Coleman's tent) the way Teddy K. intended

>>213864072
greed

>the cuck pod

What was a horror movie that you saw at a young age that left an impact on you?

>>213865495
your parents' sex tape

>>213865495
Deliverance. It's still my favorite horror movie.

>>213865618
>Rednecks killing soiboys for no reason
Sounds kino

>>213851001

>>213851539
>Star Wars was a dead brand before Disney bought it. They forced the brand hard after buying it and convinced everyone that Star Wars is this huge thing you should care about.
Statement so retarded I must assume you are 10 years old and have no idea what the world was like before Disney Wars.

>>213851539
Yeah, it was killed by the awful Clone Wars CGI show

>>213845344
hot

I made an extremely long blogpost about this once but they could've fucking slam dunked this star wars theme park idea easily by making it a kid's dream come true

> OT era
> yavin base
> main attraction is a ride where you get to join the rebellion as a pilot
> after a mission briefing, you get to customize your own pilot helmet with little decals and shit (that you'll have to pay for obviously)
> you get sent into the temple hangar where several flight simulators are integrated directly into full-size X and Y wings
> the simulators use motion and screen-windowed cockpits to give the feeling of taking off and flying even though you never actually leave the hangar
> simulator is a fuckin dope video game with high production graphics where you get to engage in various space battles from the trilogy, death star, endor, etc
> after the mission is completed you climb out of the cockpit and park actors dressed as engineers and rebel troops come to celebrate and hype the fuck out of the little kids (and disney adults i guess) who feel like they just blew up the actual death star

>>213845718
You’re the reason this fucking country’s going down the drain.

>>213848700
If it was 2-3 grand, it could have made it.

>>213866599
Nobody cares about your shithole country, ranjeesh/timmy

>>213845718
I want every single woman to kick me in the balls

>>213866281
this except you crash into the twin towers and instead of engineers and rebel troops it's the 72 virgins who celebrate you

>>213866281
Would've been kino

>>213867539
And they are all fat and stinky

>>213851510
I always wanted the apartment from Big Daddy

>>213867539
safe edgy joke award

>>213867692
Gross.

>>213861461
I can feel my Force rising with this one.

>>213844802 (OP)
If they cut the price of this by 50%, changed the story ever 4 months and gave it easter eggs like a COD zombies game (Boba Fett meets you at the cantina but only if you get there at 11:30 PM and you have a 15 minute window for him to give you a secret EE Quest for example) then it could have worked. There were many issues but the price combined with the fact that the story wouldn't change for like a year meaning the people that actually would pay for this would only go once a year spelled disaster.

>>213869853
Why didn't they just wait for AI so they can gen stories with it? Imagine if they just waited a few years, now you'd be getting new AI stories every week.

>>213870046
You still need actors who can learn it all which was probably the issue. Disney has a problem with keeping talent at their parks its usually college students who do this stuff for a year or two

>>213870076
Then there are people who never really mentally leave the parks.

>>213854116
Sufficiently amusing.

>>213866281

>>213844802 (OP)
It could easily have worked
>make a star wars themed brothel
>use the ꜱoy golem “hotel” as a front
>prices for both are identical
The only downside is that the mongers might be more worried about people assuming they paid for the front hotel

>>213844802 (OP)
they paid like four billion dollars for this IP, they need to get their moneys worth you see.
good thing we live in a free country and you can just take a pass on this shit instead of seething about the middle class having wads of disposable income.

>>213866281
yeah this actually would work at scale, it's just a dark ride where you literally keep someone inside a little pod through the whole thing. imagine the dopamine rush when you climb out a hero pilot of the rebellion.

>>213848700
they did go for it, saw it was shit, then never went again
disney banked on it having a lot of repeat visitors like the rest of the park but no sane person would pay that much to do it again

>>213870727
send three twerking twileks to my chambers, pronto

>>213866281
this with one adjustment

>doing boring flight briefing before practice flight
>fake explosions suddenly everywhere, base is under surprise attack
>you have to run to your ship
>intense launch sequence, blasted into major air battle

>>213871224
Having been to Disneyland they're all about safety when boarding rides, i don't think they would sign off on rushing sugared-up kids into dark rides.

>>213846123
Imagine a photograph of a place you loved, now empty. The laughter, the warmth, the people—gone. You walk through it, and everything smells the same, looks the same, but the life that once filled it isn’t there anymore. The memory is vivid, almost tangible… yet untouchable.
It’s the kind of sadness that’s quiet, not screaming, but it lingers in the corners of your mind.

>>213848260
I'm unironically considering prison as my retirement plan

>>213871377
a ride no map marks and no cast member will admit exists. Guests step into a twisting void where reality fractures; the air is thick, rancid, tasting of decay, and shadows move with a predatory intelligence. The ride vehicles are no longer vehicles—they feel alive, sinewy, writhing as if trying to meld with their passengers. A low, rasping whisper follows each visitor: promises of secrets, of endless wonder… and hints that they may never leave.
Rooms stretch into impossible geometries. Hallways drip black liquid that resembles tar but hums with faint, distorted voices. Familiar Disney icons appear, but warped: their skin peeled back, smiles jagged, eyes hollow voids that seem to watch your very thoughts. The soundtrack is a slowed, twisted choir of children singing lullabies backward, mingled with shrill, inhuman shrieks that echo from nowhere and everywhere.
Mirrors do not reflect the riders—they reflect versions of them trapped, clawing at the glass, silent screams frozen in time. The exit never comes when you expect it; instead, the corridors tighten, ceilings droop, and the darkness presses closer, almost tactile. Some guests emerge trembling, some muttering names not their own.

>>213871377
The dark ride is your life anon

>>213871654
If you are norwegian and below 45 years old then you won’t be able to retire anyway so doing a little stabbing and going to jail will be your only option BUT our justice system is a joke so you will have to do it every few months because the prison sentences here are ridiculously short.

But beware that being imprisoned in norway when it becomes a muslim nation might not be a good idea as this will happen around 2060 when its time for zoomers to retire.

So yes I am leaving this shit hole behind soon.

>>213845212
Finally a job thats perfect for me

>>213848260
Literally my uni dorm except i had a roommate

>>213848979
>I understand the pissing in the mouth part
I sure as fuck don't

>>213848700
The idea was rotten from the start. They tried to sell a luxury Star Wars cruise, except without the volume of a real cruiseliner, and to compensate they just made it three times as expensive as an actual luxury cruise.

>>213872826
Yes, trapping you in a windowless coffin to play a glorified ARG was not a great idea. If it was just a normal hotel with Star Wars themed decor and food, some props from the movies and a few stage shows with movie characters throughout the day it would be a much better draw. Plus it wouldn't cost $5000.

>>213848260
I would kill myself if I couldn't go innawoods anytime I like.
Prison really doesn't do anything for incels and urbanites, huh?

>>213866281
>after the mission is completed you climb out of the cockpit and park actors dressed as engineers and rebel troops come to celebrate and hype the fuck out of the little kids (and disney adults i guess) who feel like they just blew up the actual death star
I would have hated this already as a kid

>>213866643
If I'm paying 3 grand for a room it better come with 2 hookers in it

>>213866281
>in the queue to get to the simulator
>excited to become a Rebellion pilot attacking the Death Star
>employee comes up to assign your name and rank
>hands you the name 'Porkins'.
This would be my experience, I guarantee it.

>>213845344
I don't understand submissive men. The whole point of being a man is that (You) are the dominant sex. You're the stronger one. The more powerful one. You're supposed to show that in the bedroom.

>>213873267
God thing I'm a man and not a fag, so I don't need some random goon on an uzbek hat dancing tell me how to behave or what I am "supposed" to do.

>>213873267
I don't like femdom but cmon anon, that's the whole point of the fetish, quite obviously. It's the subversion of expectations that makes it feel taboo and sexy to people.

>>213851001
>kitchen stove right next to work desk
:/

>>213844802 (OP)
I would have loved working as a security guard there.
I might have even been thrown a few fucks by the sexually frustrated soccer mom's and "actors" who are surrounded by drama kids and fat nerds all day.

>>213844802 (OP)
you can just buy them from alibaba for $500 plus shipping

>>213873459
>shitter right next to stove and work desk
What a lovely stinky corner that must be while you try to work.

>>213848260
The jew has demoralized the white man so bad that they have them long for a prison cell.
>You WILL live in a pond eating whatever is given to you UND (You) WILL be happy
sad

>>213851214
>squirted
You mean “pissed”.

Why did this close so quickly? Nickelodeon also did a hotel and it lasted for longer

>>213867539
lmao

>>213873267
>be lazy
>pass it off as a fetish
Somebody stop me

>>213845344
What does dominatrix piss taste like?

>>213874496
Why are the Swiss so evil?

>>213859030
https://kemono.cr/patreon/user/4416940

imagine paying for anything lol

>>213871642
Now it's filled with the memories of paperwork from days gone by...

Wtf is that thing supposed to be

>>213871814
>If you are norwegian and below 45 years old then you won’t be able to retire anyway
Dude you retards get more social security and free housing and shit than you can pay with a well above average salary in my EU country so fuck off.

>>213844822
Only if it has female farts

>>213873146
well your in luck those prisons are in forested areas and outdoor activities like hikes are part of the package

Star Wars fans when they get sent to the WEF pod:
>IT'S JUST LIKE IN MY HECKIN' HOTEL!!!!!

>>213877313
Sounds kino

Star Wars fans be like:
>>213845718

>>213858969
never been into piss but I experimented with bdsm type stuff numerous times just for the heck of it. it is actually pretty kinky and a rush but you wake up the next day with bruises and burns etc. that just aren't fun to put up with. even worse, some might be on display too and you have to make up excuses for why you've got burn marks from wax on your arms.

>>213858969
watch London, kino movie, two guys getting fucked up on coke in a bathroom at an apartment party and talking shit, one of them is into that shit and explains why

Imagine a world where Yidsney never bought Star Wars

looks comfy

>>213845344
Nice.

>>213878255
Yes, after nearly three decades of nothings we'd be getting a new trilogy right about now, but one directed by Lucas. People would hate them at first but they would become classics over time.

Isn't this just a glorified hostel?

>>213844802 (OP)
Yes that was a dumb idea, which is why it failed and is closed now.

>>213844802 (OP)
live in pod: :(
live in pod-starwars edition: :O

>>213844802 (OP)
"Now this is pod sleeping!"

>>213875404
Daily reminder this bitch makes like $3 million a year off these stupid ass videos

>>213844802 (OP)
Imagine having sex in there.

>>213880160
Solely because of retarded coomers

>>213880037
kek

>>213867692
Even in the 90's it was unrealistic for a tollbooth operator to have this kind of apartment without at least 2 roommates

>>213880226
Can't hate the player I guess

>>213858514
>I mean in addition to the parks.
Themed Hotels just aren't as profitable as park space due to the limited throughput. Something I'm still confused as to why Disney hadn't done the basic homework on given that they already run so many of them (and cruise ships).

>>213845344
my man

>>213851001
>kitchen stove next to desk
>kitchen hood vent goes through the bathroom above

>>213861461
I would like to give her my midichlorians if you know what I mean

>>213881163
Hoping she'll give birth to the Chosen One?

>>213874313
>DC homeless voted for trump
I doubt that

>>213874496
>2030
>In 5 years we'll have 3D printed organs and recreational flights to Mars!
Just the other day I was reading an article about how there will be 33 million autonomous cars on the road in 2040. Right, just like the EU was supposed to eliminate 90% of internal combustion vehicles by 2025. Who comes up with all this bullshit and who actually believes it?

this kind of shit is really weird and could be a good indication of who shouldn't be allowed to live

>>213851001
Why is every TV playing Tom and Jerry?

>>213844880
They couldn't even be bothered to give people free Disney+ on the TVs for the duration of their stay.

>>213883384
Why are they so cheap? They own hundreds of billions

>>213848843
>>213862103
taken

>>213883308
Just like in the 1950s they thought we'd have flying cars by the 80s.

>>213883716
Now we have AI porn instead

>>213883580
I have no clue. From a marketing perspective, it's an absolute no-brainer to give every guest at every Disney resort free Disney+ during their stay. Not everyone who visits Disney is a D+ subscriber, and giving them (and their kids) a taste of it might be enough to convince some people to subscribe when they get back home. It literally costs them nothing and has the potential to increase their revenue, but they refuse to do it.

>>213884670
If you're the type to stay on resort, you're probably already paying $3k-$10k depending on the size of your family and if you're staying the typical 4+ days. And those type of people are already dug in and not only know about Disney+, but are likely the subscribers Disney doesn't need to bother working to maintain because they'll stay subbed anyways. From a pure money prospective, it makes sense not to spend for it to be in every hotel room. And yes, it does cost them money. Money would change hands to bulk license subscriptions from Disney+, and then Disney+ has to pay out to Disney Studios for the film/show licenses, and then Disney Studios has to pay out whoever gets residuals from their movies/shows. Corporate shit has lots of hoops to jump through and every branch is clawing at money; it's rarely ever something that can just be done for free.

>>213885206
Fine, it would cost SOMETHING, but they wouldn't need to create a separate account for every resort room. All you need is one account that allows for unlimited simultaneous connections, or a custom Disney+ client that doesn't require an account at all and only works from the IP addresses of their resorts or pings a local server to authenticate itself (in case the client ever leaked, so no one could use it). In the grand scheme of things, it would be a small cost for a big convenience to the guests and extra marketing to them as well. I also don't think it's actually guaranteed that every person who stays at Disney is already subscribed. They probably all KNOW about it (who doesn't?), but I bet there are a ton of people who don't subscribe, some of whom could potentially be convinced by getting the chance to use it with no strings attached (no trial account sign up, etc) for a couple days.

>>213884670
>>213885206
Imagine your basedboy dad sending you to the heckin' Star Wars hotel that costs 5000$ and you sleep in a pod
Sounds grim.

So what was the food in there like?

>>213886405
There were cocks for SW fans to suck.

>>213885969
they've probably run the numbers and it doesn't make sense, plus if it's unlikely to generate a certain threshold level of profit it's probably not worth implementation

>Saar wars

>>213888194
I hate when people go "they've probably run the numbers and it doesn't make sense" as if corporation are infallible and don't regularly trip over their own greed.

>>213882766
You've never been around poor people if you think that.

>>213845344
It should've been me!

>>213846219
The only thing you need to beat the windowless allegations and include it in the experience, is having "escape pods" or something like that that can go to the "planet in orbit"
So the way they get you to the hotel (via larp truck) can be done to another, open space
It's so simple, they even had the fucking system already in place for it

>>213882766
They did that to spite the federal agents who vote for the Dems

>>213848260
damn varg was eating good

>>213888704
That's what the "Climate Simulator" garden was for. They just needed to make it a larger space.

>>213844802 (OP)
>that'll be $5000
really should have been like a $1000 brig option.

>>213858969
This:
>>213859640
I remember as a kid finding mean, dommy girls in cartoons really hot.

>>213851001
Sit down we're eating dozens of enormous vague fruits by ourselves and watching Tom and Jerry like actual imbeciles.. If you need the oven its upstairs, just over the kitchen. The fridge is just outside the kitchen. What does the kitchen contain you ask? The second oven of course.

>>213888389
what im trying to get across is that even if you're right about added subscribers it may not add enough to make the added cost worth it to a company with certain profit standards. to use a generic and extreme example, if it ads one dollar of profit a year it's just not worth the bother. they probably have some marginal profit standards and have run the numbers and it doesn't make sense. i'm not disagreeing with your idea that it would make them more money / add subscribers but it's probably just not worth the bother. companies get rid of profitable divisions and subsidiaries all the time when they're not part of their core business, think a similar concept here but on the level of a single-cost implementation

>>213845344
I used to be into this shit when I was 18-22 or so, but dominatrixes are so expensive, I'm so lazy, and It's so transactional that I just stopped wanting to pay for that shit.
I've been whipped, pissed on/in my mouth, pegged, shit on, farted on, even got to eat one domme's ass.
But somehow, none of it is as hot as just jerking off to that same stuff on rule34 instead. At least for me.

I think It's because pro-dommes aren't good at acting, and they're definitely not personally into dominating some ugly guy, at least not in the same way I'm into being dominated.
I'd like to think that if I came across a real freak I'd be scaroused. I remember old forums they'd tell me to steer clear of dommes who don't respect safe words and shit cuz those aren't real professionals and will endanger your life, but those were always the ones I wanted to come across.

>>213888913
I can see it, you can even put one of the giant screens with some constant sparks falling down like the simulator has a broken panel
This thing reeks lack of imagination

>>213844802 (OP)
Looks like a prison, you might as well get arrested because you won't need to pay $5000

>>213846832
A lot of dommes let you jerk off, some will jerk you off theirselves -- they will never openly state or advertise that though, obviously, and typically will only do that if they trust you/you're somewhat of a regular.
If you go blabbing about it they will blacklist you and get every other domme in their general network to blacklist you as well.

>>213845344
Can you please kill yourself