>”Don’t move! I want your money and your car keys.”
How do you respond without sounding mad?

>>213862814 (OP)
I'd unbuckle my belt, drop my pants and tell him to SUCK IT

>>213862916
You're gonna make him......suck??

>>213862814 (OP)
I’m broke and I rode here on a bike.

>>213862814 (OP)
Tell him the safety is on, then when he glances down I throw my poop at him (I was holding poop in my hand for unrelated reasons).

>>213862814 (OP)
>I put my cay keys and wallet up my ass!
>it's my fetish!

>>213862814 (OP)
>being able to go to a public beach on a hot summer day and being the only one there
Was America really like this at one point?

>>213862954
>(I was holding poop in my hand for unrelated reasons).

thre ar anons who don't do thi9s?

>>213862814 (OP)
Tell him he passed the test and has been admitted to the Legion of Serial Killers. When he lowers the gun to thank me push the girl at him then Naruto run away.

>>213862916
>pulls out electric guitar and shreds a riff so hard his face melts

>>213863005
legit lol'd

>>213862814 (OP)
Ive posted tbis a zillion times but I would immediatley zig zag into the river behind me. Water significantly reduces the speed of a bullet in a short amount of space, its your best bet. Also, abandonimg the woman would give.the agressor something else to focus on instead of chasing you.
Then all thats left is tp take my soakimg wet ass to the nearest bar, buy a beer with some water logged bills, and wait for the whole thing to blow over.

>>213862814 (OP)
>How do you respond without sounding mad?

>How do you respond
Lie down and let him tie me up.
Just have to do what he says and he won't hurt my girlfriend

>>213862814 (OP)
>This car is rigged with a ridiculous amount of fertilizer. I’m using it to assassinate my grandfather. Go find someone else to rob or die when you change gears idgaf
>toss the keys at him
>slowly walk off then turn to him
>oh and btw, I’m gay

>>213862814 (OP)
>im a gay thug, you best bounce before the ultra niggahs arrive, we meeting up in 3 min

>>213862954
spoiler. anon is a planet of the apes monkey from the future

>>213862814 (OP)
Oh yeah well you can want in one hand and shit in the other; see which one fills up first, pal. Now kick rocks

Oh yeah? I want my hairline back and a blowjob once in a while so get in line faggot

I'd shoot him despite him already aiming at me cause i'm not a retard and would carrry on me in the wilderness.
He's a good distance away, pointing with his hip, with an appendix carry you could probably draw on him in a reasonable time.
I'd probably get shot but i'd kill the fucker and might even survive if i get lucky with my gsw placement.
If a crazy dude dressed like that approaches me in the middle of nowhere i'll just automatically assume he's not letting me live.

>>213862936
>>213862916
>>213862814 (OP)
I'd ask if he'd like anything else like a blow job.


Then I'd tell him his mom is still at the park's bathroom gloryhole

>>213862936
YOU EVER SUCK DICK LIKE A SERIAL KILLER?!

>>213862989
It’s a lake in the middle of nowhere.

>>213862814 (OP)
well I want a gun, trade on 3?

>>213862814 (OP)
https://youtu.be/ZJejotzlf3g?si=aLP_73FPQO8TAhGk

>>213862814 (OP)
DANCE OFF BRO. YOU AND ME. RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW

>>213862814 (OP)
Tell him I'm Ted Bundy and he's breaking Serial Killer Guild rules

>>213862814 (OP)
I dont respond.
He told me not to move.

Stay strapped or get clapped. Well within my rights to pump him full of hot lead...and then my hit cum.

>>213862814 (OP)
Give him your money and car keys. The minute they suggest restraints, like a home invasion, you must fight or flee. Similar to what I learned as a little kid watching Oprah's crime episodes - you never go anywhere with an assailant. Do not allow crime scene A to become crime scene B

>>213863877
What if you didn’t have a gun?

>>213862814 (OP)
>Uhh, my car doesn't have keys. I use an app on my phone to start it. I also don't carry cash or credit cards; I use my phone for that, too.
>I can give you my phone if you want, but each time you open an app it needs to unlocked with two factor identification.
>The password for my email (which you will need to authenticate) rotates on an hourly and daily basis according to a matrix I designed. It's not written down anywhere, but I can explain it to you. Are you more familiar with Klingon or Sindarin? You'll really need to know both to remember how the password matrix rotates...

>>213862814 (OP)
Jokes on him, I don't have either.

>>213865997
He doesn’t want the money or the car, it’s a ploy to make them think he’s robbing them so he can tie them up and stab them.

>>213865863
Then I use my ninja throwing stars

>>213862814 (OP)
I would say. You can have my cash, but first you know I gotta ask. What made you want to live this kind of life?

>>213866326
He got fired from his teaching job at Santa Rosa Elementary School for touching his students.

>>213862814 (OP)
Serpentine. He's got a mask on and a gun with, at most, seven bullets. He was already far away too.
https://youtu.be/A2_w-QCWpS0?si=6H2OotDqoNLZeDOc

>>213862814 (OP)
>I have no money, I have no car

>at an empty lake in the middle of nowhere
>see an 8 foot retard in a mask huffing and wheezing his way over to me with a gun.
i wouldve casually walked to the car when I saw him coming a mile away

>>213868441
The crazy thing is people have been in situations like that(where they should obviously gtfo but just sit there and let the obvious happen) I forgot what it’s called but they ignore that voice inside that is screaming run or gtfo and they just don’t.

>>213862814 (OP)
>Zodiac? Fucking hell mate, whats the odds? Im the Co-ed Killer, can you believe it?
Im hoping for some professional courtesy

>>213862814 (OP)
i refuse because i'd rather die than let myself be robbed

>>213868441
a month ago i was in a lake in a canoe and some guy came up behind me and was like hey how you doing and i was holy shit what, point being you are not a radar you cannot be 100% cognizant of your surroundings