What's the best way to play these games in big 2025? Did the PC ports get unfucked yet, or do I have to settle for the Switch port?

Heavenly Star is overrated and the PS3 version plays an infinitely cooler song in Naomi's lab.

>>712504349 (OP)
I dunno but you can't emulate 1 on Dolphin without a Wii controller but you only need a bluetooth dongle to play it, since it only tracks gyro stuff.
2 is prob best on Dolphin
1 also emulates on RPCS3 if you want to play that version

>>712504349 (OP)
The Switch versions were fine

>>712504349 (OP)
emulate wii for first two games, switch version for third.

>>712504852
post the replacement

Either emulate the Wii versions, play on OG hardware or play the switch versions with waggle controls

Alternatively play the PS3 version because it massively cuts down on the grinding that NMH1 has but is also missing content as a result and the art style isn't as good

>>712505610
What content was it missing? It added a bunch of stuff. Technically it's the best version of 1 until you look at the art style which was a downgrade. Still looks pretty alright though I guess. They made the girls hotter but when you play both at high resolution, the original looks so much better.

>>712504349 (OP)
The pc ports for 1 and 2 were fixed a while ago. Just get them on Steam.

Rank 'em

Bad Girl
Naomi
Sylvia
Jeane
Shinobu
Holly

>>712505924
I'd pick Naomi if her tits weren't so fat

>>712504349 (OP)
>Did the PC ports get unfucked yet
Somehow, miraculously, yes. Couple of months ago, patch released that fixed the crashes and fucked minigames.
So you play 1 on PC, then you accept that the plot is over and play 2 for the fun designs and interactions, then you go back and play/read Silver Case, then you play Travis Strikes Again and use like, a trainer or mod to make your character deal triple base damage because holy shit those enemies are way too spongey, and then you just ignore 3.

The worst thing you can say about 3 is that nobody goes out of their way to hate on 2 anymore. That did not used to be the case.
Don't play them on original hardware they ran like shit on the Wii.

A reminder to install the Heavenly Star song restoration patch for the Steam version if you buy that one.
https://www.pcgamingwiki.com/wiki/No_More_Heroes#Heavenly_Star_Restoration_Patch_Updated

>>712506213
>nobody goes out of their way to hate on 2 anymore
I feel like one of those fuckers defending dark souls 2 BUT nmh2 isn't bad
the reason why people think it's bad is they use the long long sword the whole game and are amazed every encounter feels like a slog
if you go check a couple speedruns you'll see it plays way better than the original

>>712505721
it's missing some stuff from the map

> In Heroes' Paradise, access to the northern portion of Santa Destroy via bridges has been blocked off. The main bridge has been obstructed by concrete blocks, while the smaller bridge crossing the river has been entirely removed from the map. This means several treasures and dumpster rewards have been relocated to south of these bridges. Because the section of Santa Destroy north of the river has been blocked off in Heroes' Paradise, seven trading cards, 14 Lovikov Balls, eight T-shirts and 12 buried plots of cash have been relocated to other areas of Santa Destroy.

>>712506437
oh I see

>>712506213
I always liked 2
It wasn't as strong as 1 and was super uneven but it was never that bad I nearly bought a wii just to play it but luckily emulation became not complete dogshit

>>712504349 (OP)
Unironically the Switch port. I tried the PC port after it was “fixed” and the audio is fucked

>>712505924
Jeane > Shinobu > Bad Girl > Naomi > beavis and cuckhead

>>712505721
God damn the art style in Paradise is so much fucking worse

I'm not even a OLD GOOD NEW BAD it was the version I started the series with because I didn't have a fucking Wii at the time

At least the cover art is kino

>>712506423
I think you weren't part of a lot of NMH discussions if you think gameplay was the source of contention, anon.
Especially if you think people were calling it a slog compared to 1. The emptiest open world to ever exist with its single enemy type. NMH1 has a level that's just a hallway for 5 minutes with 1 dude every 20 seconds before a boss that dies in a cutscene.

>Killer7 and NMH 1/2 have striking visuals that still look good even to this day

>NMH 3 and SA is generic Unreal slop
>Grasshopper is basically like 5 guys at this point and is barely better than an indie studio

Even SotD, Lolipop Chainsaw and KiD all better and those are Unreal 3 games

What the fuck happened?

Would you like to join me for a game of digits? If you win, I'll let you in on a little secret: How to bypass bans with 100% success.

>>712506756
>The emptiest open world to ever exist with its single enemy type. NMH1 has a level that's just a hallway for 5 minutes with 1 dude every 20 seconds before a boss that dies in a cutscene.
To be fair that's clearly a joke within the gameplay itself

NMH2 has that too with the near infinity spawning vans in a car park

>>712506873
Oh they've gotten worse, anon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nW1cE6sj6h8

>>712506756
>if you think gameplay was the source of contention
as far as I remember it was either that or the final boss being retarded
people also complained 2 didn't have an overworld, which is the reason 3 has one and it's the same empty map it was in 1
suda listening to the fans was the real mistake

>>712504349 (OP)
Switch version Is the best after the Wii original
No, it's not Heavenly Star, it's the fact you hear Sylvia speak directly to your ear

>>712506213
2's just wildly inconsistent though I thought it started really strong with Skelter Helter and ended really strong with the last 5 ranked fights. The in-between stuff ranged from really cool to the absolute worst shit in the series (like the New Destoryman fight) but the soundtrack's cool at least. I still prefer 1's soundtrack but 2's tied with TSA's for my second favorite in the series.

>>712507204
>suda listening to the fans was the real mistake
Listening to fans is why 2 exists but yeah, listening to fans will likely never end well for Suda.

Switch versions are all fine. I've been playing since the start (Gamestop only got 1 copy, had to hunt down another for my friend)... I can't say I prefer 1 or 2 but really just play both. I've only gone through 3 once but I enjoy the OST. TSA oozes soul and style but it wasn't the most fun to actually *play*.

You can tell vis Xitter than Suda wants to revisit killer7. Cautiously optimistic/curious.

>>712507531
If only he listened to fans saying "wow TSA's story was pretty strong" when writing 3.

>>712504349 (OP)
No More Heroes 1 and 2 was such great fucking games. Sucks that they're mostly forgotten these days.

Sylvia should've shot Travis.

I played the first one on PC and the game never crashed EXCEPT when the scoreboard loaded after a boss fight. If you tried to skip that, the game would crash everytime. So I would just let that roll and it was fine.
And later they released an update that allegedly fixed those crashes, but don't quote me on that. They've been (very) slowly updating the games to unfuck them.

>>712504916
>2 is best on dolphin
are you one of those snobs that hate increased framerates?

>>712505924
For me it's Cloe.

>>712506985
I usually put up with Grasshopper because of their style and writing and gladly play all their games, but this one looks especially rough, going to be a very hard sell.

>>712508996
Arenn't they both 60fps?

>>712504349 (OP)
I prefer this version

>>712506213
2 is fucking awful, fuck off nigger

>>712506213
wasn't the only problem the audio which you didn't mention?
>Don't play them on original hardware they ran like shit on the Wii.
emulate them

>>712509724
retarded take

Ironically the NMH PC version worked flawlessly on my Steam Deck while it crashed every 30 minutes or so on my PC.

>>712511143
you realize a deck is a pc right

>>712507309
God that was the best use of the Wii's bizarre controller-speaker

>>712504916
just map the gyro to mouse or right stick

>>712513626
It's not but okay you fucking bitch

>>712508756
I got a couple of crashes, biggest issue is that some of the minigames were fucked (baseball for example) but sure it was playable.
2 on PC wasn't.

last time I played NMH was on a Wii on a big ass CRT TV back in 2007. I refuse to play the game again because it really feels like it won't capture that feeling again. I have way more feelings playing NMH than I ever did with zelda TP

>>712506932
Clicks

>>712514531
>doesn't even understand what he owns
holy fucking retard

>>712507309
My first playthrough I had the speaker off and thought my game was glitched, then I played Smooth Moves and replayed NMH afterwards, I love Sylvia.

>>712506506
>erotic cards
wait what?

Never had a single problem playing the pc ports when they released

>>712504349 (OP)
Wii version looks like ass but the waggle mechanic really jams well with NMH1
that said if I were you I would just settle for the PS3 port instead.

>>712514531
How is it not? Just because you've never used Linux personally doesn't mean valve invented it

>>712504852
>the PS3 version
You mean the one where riding the bike makes the framerate become a slideshow with music skipping, and where saving the game takes 24+ seconds?

>>712504852
>Heavenly Star is overrated
Holy pic related.

No more heroes 2 is the only game existence that has a good opening, a good end, and one good thing in the middle and everything else is complete garbage

This game has the best soul I've ever experienced. Something about the tone, subject material, presentation, and execution just absolutely hits for me

>>712504349 (OP)
uninstall