Thread 712565781

Java: Protestantism -
Unmodded Java: Mainline Protestants
Modded Java: Evangelicals

Legacy Console: Orthodoxy -
communion of the Xbox, Playstation, and Nintendo autocephalous churches, all under a common tradition.

Bedrock: Catholicism -
Pocket Editon - Latin Church
Xbox, Playstation, Nintendo Bedrock releases - Eastern Catholic Churches (all broke off from their legacy console communions to join the Bedrock pontiff)

>>712565781 (OP)
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?

Java Edition – Protestantism
Key Themes: Decentralization, Personal Interpretation, Reformation, Fragmentation

Java Edition is the original revelation — the "Scripture alone" of Minecraft. It emerged unbound by consoles or monetization systems, much like how early Protestant reformers sought freedom from ecclesiastical hierarchy.

Unmodded Java = Mainline Protestantism
Adheres to the core text (vanilla Minecraft), trusting that the original design is sufficient for a fulfilling experience.

Emphasizes stability, ethics, and tradition within the bounds of reform.

Examples: Methodism, Lutheranism, Presbyterianism — not flashy, but deep and enduring.

Modded Java = Evangelicalism / Non-Denominationalism
Believes that a personal relationship with the code (or the Creator) is central.

Embraces a highly individualized experience: magic systems, space travel, industrialization, new dimensions.

Modpacks are like evangelical megachurches — dynamic, immersive, and often overwhelming.

Just as Evangelicals vary widely in beliefs, modded servers can be anything from hardcore realism to anime roleplay.

Java's gift is freedom — and with that, a thousand servers and doctrinal interpretations. Some call it chaos. Others, reformation.

Legacy Console Edition – Eastern Orthodoxy
Key Themes: Tradition, Autocephaly, Conservatism, Discontinuity with Modernization

Legacy Console editions were regional churches bound to their hardware: Xbox 360, PS3, Wii U — each one operating semi-independently but sharing a liturgical structure (i.e., interface, update cycles, and game mechanics). Like Orthodoxy, they:

Emphasized ritual consistency — everything from crafting interfaces to tutorial worlds followed strict templates.

Received occasional updates from 4J Studios (their “Patriarchate”), but the timeline was often irregular and eventually ceased altogether — much like some Orthodox churches’ resistance to modernization.

Maintained spiritual distinction from the Bedrock Church, refusing to adopt its universalizing codebase.

These were autocephalous churches, unique in culture yet united in form. They were never meant to reform — only to preserve.

Bedrock Edition – Roman Catholicism
Key Themes: Universality, Central Authority, Tradition with Innovation, Synodality

Bedrock Edition represents the Catholic Church: one universal version, governed from a centralized seat of authority — Mojang/Microsoft (aka, the “Vatican of Code”). All platforms — mobile, PC, console — are brought into communion under one codebase and rule set.

Pocket Edition = Latin (Roman) Rite
The original form of Bedrock, like the Latin Church, started in humble circumstances — the small, minimalistic Pocket Edition.

Over time, it became the foundation of Bedrock theology — everything else is built on this original rite.

From mobile beginnings, it now defines the core of Bedrock liturgy.

Bedrock Console Ports = Eastern Catholic Churches
Formerly part of the Legacy Console Orthodox Communion, these churches (Xbox One, PS4, Switch) entered into full communion with Bedrock.

They retain platform-specific quirks (custom UI, local performance issues), but accept the universal doctrines of Bedrock: the Marketplace, Realms, crossplay.

Like the Maronite or Ukrainian Catholic Churches, they maintain tradition while acknowledging the authority of the Bedrock "pontiff."

Bedrock is one, holy, catholic, and cross-platform. It is the church of Marketplace indulgences, the Realms confessional, and the unified codebase

Java is best

>>712565943
Wow you're so smart and not a midwit

>>712565781 (OP)
Retarded thread, congrats.

Did you forget to take your meds again, anon?

>God is evil because I think of him as a prayer vending machine and because to me, my parents taking me to church twice a year is OBJECTIVELY EVIL
lol