chess is the gayest game ever made - /v/ (#712642978) [Archived: 1021 hours ago]

Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:12:04 PM No.712642978
Screenshot 2025-06-14 110958
Screenshot 2025-06-14 110958
md5: 855f44d349132c0806441152a5badb95๐Ÿ”
somehow i didn't win despite having six queens
Replies: >>712643070 >>712643136 >>712644741 >>712645442 >>712645586 >>712645742 >>712646389 >>712650635 >>712651463 >>712653987 >>712658982 >>712662113 >>712662272 >>712662719 >>712667546 >>712668943 >>712674901
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:13:18 PM No.712643070
>>712642978 (OP)
I agree, just play rts games. Chess is all about memorising the perfect moves
Replies: >>712643230 >>712643601 >>712644120 >>712645419
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:14:10 PM No.712643136
>>712642978 (OP)
I don't blame you OP, this shit is pretty rigged. Chess is more fun with people.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:15:26 PM No.712643230
getaloadofthisguy
getaloadofthisguy
md5: 7b3cba203b66cc61fb569d2a55a44a47๐Ÿ”
>>712643070
>somehow manage to stalemate with 6 queens
>i-i'm not bad the game is bad!
Replies: >>712643575 >>712643693 >>712653764
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:19:40 PM No.712643575
1721314955741007
1721314955741007
md5: 2525b4c7e4206b29e976dbb5cc5564dc๐Ÿ”
>>712643230
>King can't move anywhere without dying
>this is somehow a stalemate instead of a checkmate
Make Chess 2 already and hopefully it won't be shit this time.
Replies: >>712643979 >>712644315 >>712646389
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:19:59 PM No.712643601
>>712643070
>Chess is all about memorising the perfect moves
Not even
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:21:15 PM No.712643693
>>712643230
it doesnt matter, not being able to move shouldn't be rewarded with a "lalalala you can't catch me if I don't move so... I win!!!".
Replies: >>712643979
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:24:05 PM No.712643929
mega-chess-buy-individual-chess-pieces-megachess-16-inch-light-plastic-king-giant-chess-piece-1099750619[1]
I HATE YOU YOU STUPID LITTLE BITCH WHY DO YOU SUCK SO FUCKING MUCH
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:24:40 PM No.712643979
>>712643575
>>712643693
>noooooooooo change the rules because I'm bad!
cope and seethe
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:26:18 PM No.712644109
Anyone know a good black and white chess set to buy?
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:26:25 PM No.712644120
>>712643070
I fucking love strategy games but find chess immensely boring and have no interest in playing it. I find needing to work out where every piece could go and what could happen too overwhelming and I can't be arsed, maybe I'm just a brainlet.
Replies: >>712644292 >>712668134
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:28:48 PM No.712644292
>>712644120
>I fucking love strategy games
>I find needing to work out where every piece could go and what could happen too overwhelming and I can't be arsed
...that's the strategy part...
Replies: >>712644361 >>712668134
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:29:14 PM No.712644315
>>712643575
Official modes are usually flawed and unfun. You can add houserules and with enough players the org might take notice and implement it.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:29:52 PM No.712644361
>>712644292
I know, but it's a chore
Replies: >>712644552
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:32:41 PM No.712644552
>>712644361
How do you claim to be someone that loves strategy games but also find figuring out the strategy in a game too tedious? What exactly do you like about strategy games then?
Replies: >>712644735
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:34:55 PM No.712644735
>>712644552
I don't know mate it's just something about chess, give me 40 units to micromanage in Total War and I'll have fun but give me a whole chessboard and I'll just cba out of it. Maybe I don't know enough about chess to enjoy it.
Replies: >>712646630
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:35:00 PM No.712644741
>>712642978 (OP)
>six queens
why did you parked them?
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:37:17 PM No.712644939
monster girl marriage
monster girl marriage
md5: 5d2f25b6e78f8571764cc9d83d457e0b๐Ÿ”
A pawn can turn into a queen, and any other unit except the king. This means every piece but the king is female, and Chess is about two groups of women trying to steal the other's man for themselves.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:43:32 PM No.712645419
>>712643070
so is rts when you play it the "right" way.
optimized strategy is cool once.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:43:52 PM No.712645442
>>712642978 (OP)
I remember a friend of mine who knows how to play it invited me for a match, I somehow managed to win against him despite barely knowing how the pieces work, then when he only had a king, I stalemated and he made fun of me for stalemating with a massive advantage. Shit pissed me off and now I dislike chess because of a single match I played.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:45:46 PM No.712645586
>>712642978 (OP)
Bait aside that rule is gay as fuck.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:47:51 PM No.712645742
>>712642978 (OP)
If you're dumb enough to have 6 queens lined up against the wall doing fuckall and not even checking the king you deserve to stalemate, retard. Cry about it.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:54:29 PM No.712646197
"stalemate" is just a polite way of saying they lost
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:57:03 PM No.712646389
>>712643575
>>712642978 (OP)
That rule is in place so that people in lossing positions can still at least tie and people in winning positions still have to keep their brain on
Replies: >>712646559 >>712647456
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 6:59:12 PM No.712646559
>>712646389
>lose the game
>cry, shit and piss yourself so mommy says it's actually a tie
fags
Replies: >>712646881 >>712651009 >>712675112
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:00:04 PM No.712646630
>>712644735
It's not Strategy games you like, but Real Time Strategy games you enjoy then. The real time aspect means you can't overthink like you're describing.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:03:21 PM No.712646881
>>712646559
>Drop the ball so hard the opponent manages to meet a strict condition to trigger the tie
>NO NO NO I WIN I WIN I WIN
Sounds like the only one pissing, shitting, and crying to mommy is you
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:11:05 PM No.712647456
>>712646389
>That rule is in place so that people in lossing positions can still at least tie
how is this a good thing?
Replies: >>712648764 >>712651009
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:27:45 PM No.712648764
>>712647456
>You have the advantage sir. Very well. Prove to me you can win. Convert the advantage into victory.
If you fail to convert an overwhelming advantage into results, that's an embarrassment for you and you've gotten hoodwinked. Scammed out of a win by your own incompetence.
Replies: >>712651040
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:32:55 PM No.712649145
One of my friends who I used to play MOBAs with I convinced him to play chess with me like couple of matches once in a while, he ragequitted when I played en passant move and refused to play again after that. And I am shit at chess, I am like 1000 at best but I exclusively play when I am drunk so I lose to 750
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:42:42 PM No.712649936
bobby
bobby
md5: f420445dfce976e51f849c42956b2a97๐Ÿ”
What the fuck was his fucking problem?
Replies: >>712650191 >>712650272
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:45:19 PM No.712650141
rpg players when they can't just grind their way to victory
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:45:51 PM No.712650191
>>712649936
He was right
Replies: >>712650990
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:46:44 PM No.712650272
>>712649936
being smart
Replies: >>712650990
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:49:12 PM No.712650457
Play shogi
Replies: >>712653387
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:51:34 PM No.712650635
>>712642978 (OP)
Play Pokemon for the real peak strategic experience
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:55:43 PM No.712650990
>>712650191
>>712650272
wasnt smart enough to hide his powerlevel
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:56:02 PM No.712651009
>>712646559
>>712647456
I just said why in the post itself, you stupid nigger.
Itโ€™s a comeback mechanic which means the winning player still has to be on their toes in the end game and makes it so that the losing player doesnโ€™t give up.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:56:18 PM No.712651040
>>712648764
The result is the other player loses.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:58:07 PM No.712651182
>you can't move without dying
>well I guess it's a draw then
Replies: >>712651273
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 7:59:18 PM No.712651273
>>712651182
erm no chud you see me having zero moves means you are a bad player :)
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 8:01:14 PM No.712651463
>>712642978 (OP)
you didn't beat the game
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 8:23:28 PM No.712653387
>>712650457
This. Shogi doesn't have any of the problems chess does.
First turn player advantage? In chess its around 20%, shogi just 3%.
Draws? Chess ends in draw around 15% of the time. Shogi less than 1%.
In chess players play a hundred games to get a beautiful sacrifice for the win, in shogi it happens every game.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 8:28:01 PM No.712653764
>>712643230
To be honest not managing to stalemate with SIX FUCKING QUEENS. Would be far more impressive.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 8:30:33 PM No.712653987
>>712642978 (OP)
>queen c8 to a8
>if black doesn't capture he loses
>if black captures, the one at d8 will capture it
how is this a stalemate
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 8:36:17 PM No.712654420
Stalemate is the chess equivalent of turning off your router during an RTS match so you disconnect and don't get a loss on your record.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 8:58:31 PM No.712656398
Play Gungi
Replies: >>712657990
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 9:16:39 PM No.712657990
>>712656398
fuck you
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 9:29:12 PM No.712658982
>>712642978 (OP)
>"Game" has been solved by computers for decades
Chess is only pretentious gay tictactoe
Replies: >>712668202
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 9:33:00 PM No.712659284
Who the FUCK decided that chess doesn't just end when a king is captured?
Anyone learning chess assumes it, because it's simple and obvious. They have to explicitly be told
>No no no, it's more retarded and gay than that
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 9:36:39 PM No.712659604
Chess kind of proves how ridiculous games in general are. They are all bullshit and gay when you think about it long enough.
Replies: >>712659847
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 9:38:15 PM No.712659743
>712659604
What's the saying, if you're good at Chess it's a sign of a wasted life?

Sounds like one of those "if it's not productive you're wasting your time" garbage mentalities.
Replies: >>712659847
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 9:39:31 PM No.712659847
>>712659743
meant for >>712659604
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 9:43:54 PM No.712660204
For as long as chess has been around, you'd think there would be a chess 2 or something. They never bothered to expand upon the concept. They thought "yup this is good, we'll just keep doing the same thing over and over again while memorizing all of the optimal moves because that is the best"
Replies: >>712660365 >>712661258 >>712661402
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 9:45:54 PM No.712660365
>>712660204
i bet they tried, but it was too different so everyone went back to chess 1. then they realized they could just repackage and sell chess 1 forever. and its already woke so they didnt even have to change anything for 2010 mental sicknesses.
Replies: >>712660801
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 9:51:10 PM No.712660801
>>712660365
how is chess woke
Replies: >>712661405
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 9:56:30 PM No.712661258
>>712660204
Chess 2 will run into the same "problem". Every game is a set of rules and playing well means playing the rules. In a way you could say that a different rulebook of the same game is actually a different game. This is why everyone settles on a few games and sports and plays them to death.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 9:57:54 PM No.712661381
If a queen is ever a knights move away from the king you run the risk of a draw. Shouldn't have promoted the last one.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 9:58:05 PM No.712661402
>>712660204
This exists, it's called chess960
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 9:58:09 PM No.712661405
>>712660801
theres a bunch of black characters and the queens are the strongest, while the king is a weak coward.
Replies: >>712662329
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 9:59:19 PM No.712661508
I don't it it, why did OP lose?
Replies: >>712661680
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:01:24 PM No.712661680
>>712661508
Opponent's king can't move. If a player has no available moves then the game ends in a stalemate because some butthurt italian 500 years ago said so.
Replies: >>712662206 >>712662251 >>712667856
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:06:32 PM No.712662113
>>712642978 (OP)
>I didn't win despite having a death star
lol, lmao
Replies: >>712662154
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:07:13 PM No.712662154
>>712662113
you're brown
Replies: >>712662191
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:07:34 PM No.712662191
>>712662154
Not as brown as you.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:07:46 PM No.712662206
>>712661680
if the opponents king can't move doesn't that just men you've won?
Replies: >>712668530
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:08:14 PM No.712662251
>>712661680
If a player is out of moves, then they fucking lose. That's how every game is.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:08:34 PM No.712662272
>>712642978 (OP)
If chess is so good how cum they never made chess 2?
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:09:18 PM No.712662329
>>712661405
the strongest piece being a queen is just localizer bullshit, in the original it was a man
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:14:03 PM No.712662719
>>712642978 (OP)
Isn't this a checkmate? Why is it considered a stalemate?
Replies: >>712662913
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:16:29 PM No.712662913
>>712662719
because the black Kang is out of moves
Replies: >>712663021
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:17:44 PM No.712663021
>>712662913
But isn't that how a checkmate normally works?
Replies: >>712663243 >>712663356 >>712663596 >>712663627
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:20:19 PM No.712663243
>>712663021
black kangs don't have to listen to no damn wyteboy
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:21:33 PM No.712663356
>>712663021
A checkmate is when the king is in check, and no otherwise-possible move will take him out of check.
A stalemate is when the king is not in check, and no otherwise-possible move would not bring him in check.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:24:23 PM No.712663596
>>712663021
The King has to actually be in threat of being taken to be considered checkmate. It's not legal to move your king in to any square in which it will be taken, and no piece is currently checking the King.
No move can be taken, and the king will not be captured next turn, so the game can't progress and has therefore stalemated
Replies: >>712664886
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:24:42 PM No.712663627
>>712663021
A check is a confrontation a direct threat. There is no direct threat just no moves.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:39:30 PM No.712664886
>>712663596
>No move can be taken, and the king will not be captured next turn, so the game can't progress and has therefore stalemated
this is literal 'nuh uh' child behavior of a sore loser that can do nothing else but cling to technicalities
i can only imagine the toady little beady-eyed shithead that pushed this into being
Replies: >>712673169
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:40:35 PM No.712664986
Screenshot 2025-06-14 154004
Screenshot 2025-06-14 154004
md5: ee85e7aebe7af4f6e25fc99c93da72c1๐Ÿ”
the solution was 3 queens instead of 6
Replies: >>712665165 >>712665528
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:42:48 PM No.712665165
>>712664986
How did they win of none of the pieces are near the king?
Replies: >>712673746
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:46:53 PM No.712665528
ezgame
ezgame
md5: 9aed3a7914b601ea0aff6cf1053797ed๐Ÿ”
>>712664986
The solution is actually one (1) queen
Replies: >>712665602
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:47:39 PM No.712665602
>>712665528
that theme looks so bad i can't read that board at all, change it
Replies: >>712665645
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:48:19 PM No.712665645
>>712665602
No, that's my gooning theme. You change for me instead.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 11:00:22 PM No.712666748
bump
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 11:09:05 PM No.712667546
>>712642978 (OP)
Good job, OP.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 11:12:31 PM No.712667856
>>712661680
Holy shit that's insanely gay
In Age of Empires 2 when I'm out of resources and can't make any more units, the game doesn't end in a fucking draw lmao
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 11:14:44 PM No.712668051
This rule means that Chess has no actual strategic variety and makes it a dogshit game.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 11:15:35 PM No.712668134
>>712644120
Same here

>>712644292
The issue I find with chess is that it is a "solved game", where the more you memorize shit the better you are. Meanwhile RTS games have a degree of RNG (no control) and fog of war (no information), hence you cannot memorize "moves", and thus will have to rely on preparedness instead.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 11:16:13 PM No.712668202
>>712658982
Spot on. If chess tournaments weren't scrambling to constantly tighten the timers, most pro games would be ending in draws by now. The game has been solved and needs to either be patched or left to die.
Replies: >>712669297
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 11:20:00 PM No.712668530
>>712662206
To win you need to make sure the enemy king is under threat AND cannot move, and that the opponent cannot shield the king with another unit, or capture your own unit that directly threatens his king.
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 11:24:19 PM No.712668943
>>712642978 (OP)
Yeah I'd bet you'd have 6 queens you fucking faggot
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 11:27:39 PM No.712669297
>>712668202
Classical games are 90 minutes each and you get more after move 40. How much fucking time do you need?
Anonymous
6/14/2025, 11:59:22 PM No.712672036
bump
Replies: >>712672260
Anonymous
6/15/2025, 12:02:17 AM No.712672260
>>712672036
Face it chess is gay and no one cares.
Anonymous
6/15/2025, 12:11:25 AM No.712672962
Screenshot_20230915_134051_Chess
Screenshot_20230915_134051_Chess
md5: a0329acb809397f8d912d6e3c5ed51db๐Ÿ”
i used to have a chess.com account posing as the bot "antonio", and played with chess.com on one side of the screen, and a strong lichess bot on the other. i would always pick the opposite colour on lichess and just copy stockfish's moves and play them in chess.com against some randos. many matches took place, and not a single move i ever made on that account was my own.
i did it as an experiment, to see how long i could keep cheating, as i intentionally could not have been any more obvious. i kept doing this for months, ended up with an incredibly prolific cheating account hidden in plain sight. i noticed that the less i tried to hide it, the more successful i was (i've had many such accounts). the only people who managed to beat me were shitters with stronger engines than my own on their side, they were trying to hide it, and almost all of them got banned less than a dozen games in. some guy got banned right in the middle of a match and i won. however, i managed to get over two hundred matches in with that account, and saw a lot of autism in chat (almost 4chan levels of it), retards getting angry and intentionally delaying their moves thinking they're wasting my time, when in reality, i have no life, other cheaters getting banned but me staying in the green etc.
i took a hiatus for about a month, then came back, won another few games, and only then they decided to ban me. i tried it a few other times, with equally obvious accounts, and it seems like you can keep cheating in that way for as long as you want with a very slim chance of getting banned, so long as you don't make a hiatus and then return to that account. unfortunately, they deleted that account, as well as almost all others and now i only have one inactive account, empty called "antonio_the_man", which i honestly want to get back to. make some more chessjaks whine
Replies: >>712673453
Anonymous
6/15/2025, 12:13:37 AM No.712673169
>>712664886
maybe just put them in checkmate you shitter
Anonymous
6/15/2025, 12:16:43 AM No.712673453
>>712672962
Kinda Kino desu
Anonymous
6/15/2025, 12:20:38 AM No.712673746
>>712665165
King is in check by Queen on G1. King can't go anywhere upwards due to Queen on A2, can't go directly down due to that same Queen, can't go down right due to Queeen on G1, can't go Down-left due to Bishop on D6.
Anonymous
6/15/2025, 12:28:26 AM No.712674386
bump
Anonymous
6/15/2025, 12:35:33 AM No.712674901
>>712642978 (OP)
I don't like that to progress you have to learn theory and that high level chess is just internalized pattern.
Replies: >>712675046
Anonymous
6/15/2025, 12:37:39 AM No.712675046
>>712674901
This is such a retarded cope. Before 2000 rating you don't need to worry about theory you should be able to think your way out of the position with solid fundamentals
Anonymous
6/15/2025, 12:38:29 AM No.712675112
>>712646559
>the game should end before either player reaches a win condition