Thread 712797019

>the pc gaming industry is held up by a 62 year old fat greasy morbidly obese lard-filled ugly autistic rotund spherical octuple-chinned fat large voluptuous curvaceous thick sweaty fatass blubbery lardlord fat fuck
what happens to the industry when eats that final bean burrito with sour cream, /v/ros?

He already spoiled us the ending, I wish him a long and happy life but no one lives forever, so when his sould decides to return to the source the entire industry will burn down(with the Lemons)

>>712797019 (OP)
Valve announces that they digitized his brain and made him into an all-powerful AI called GaBOS that will manage the games industry for eons to come.

>Gordon "Free man"
>white
i see what you did there

>>712797272
finally, a good use of ai

I'm guessing a Tolkien estate scenario, his son will try and do his best to follow his wishes with the company, to greater or lesser success. The generation after that will whore it out for a quick buck.

>>712797019 (OP)
I assume Steam will go completely to shit 2 or 3 years after his death.

>>712797019 (OP)
Dunno, but we can safely say Timmy will not live to see that day.
His People's handlers will have him put down well before that burrito is served.

>>712797019 (OP)
>fat greasy morbidly obese
he's not fat anymore

>>712797970
It's kinda funny that Tolkien's family parallels shit that happens in his writing so closely.
Life imitates art and all that.

>>712797019 (OP)
Cope and seethe, tendie.

>>712798580
Timmy has billions more dollars than ol' Gaben though.

>>712799295
Gaben has one more profitable storefront.

>>712799295
Timmy likes Roblox, he doesn't count

You win, Tim.

I will now buy all my games on the Epic Game Store. No one can stop me, not even Gaben or his army of community managers that coddle pedo trolls and ban anyone that criticizes them.

>>712798504
it's already happening

>>712797019 (OP)
He's been financing deep sea missions and owns a submersible capable of repeatedly visiting the Titanic if he wanted to without imploding the crew. Numerous new species have been discovered.

>>712797019 (OP)
pc gaming was around before his store front, and it will be afterwards

>>712799876
Before you could go to 20 different stores to pick up a CD. Nowadays it's Steam or some cucked Chinese spyware storefront, and nothing else. And no, the zoomers will not return to physical media even if their life depends on it.

>>712797272
more like FlaBOS

>>712797019 (OP)
>>712799439
Steam's monopoly needs to finally be broken.

>>712799973
A R E Y O U E N J O Y I N G T H E C O N S O L I D A T E D I N T E R N E T

>>712797019 (OP)
>>712800873
I don't like Tencent, but Gaben is evil. He practically invented loot boxes and is taking 30% of all sales, among other things.

>>712797019 (OP)
How is Gaben holding up the industry?

>>712797272
more like fatOS amirite?

>>712801747
https://youtu.be/eKYj6E-L01g?t=78

>>712800020
>>712801747
Uhhh no?

>>712797019 (OP)
>The pc gaming industry is held by a fatfuck that takes a 30% cut off of sales and invented lootboxes in exchange of a dogshit platform that started working properly like 2 years ago
lol
lemao

>>712803996
>the pc gaming industry is held up by a 62 year old fat greasy morbidly obese lard-filled ugly autistic rotund spherical octuple-chinned fat large voluptuous curvaceous thick sweaty fatass blubbery lardlord fat fuck that takes a 30% cut off of sales and invented lootboxes in exchange of a dogshit platform that started working properly like 2 years ago
FTFY

>>712803996
>30% cut off of sales
so just like everyone else that knows what they're doing and isn't throwing shit at a wall
>exchange of a dogshit platform that started working properly like 2 years ago
if that's dogshit then what are consoles and epic? you wish you could have what steam has over theere

>>712797019 (OP)
>large voluptuous curvaceous thick
I wish, he lost all that weight

>>712797019 (OP)
Every time I read this copypasta the string of synonyms gets larger.
Just like Gaben

>>712804429
Epic doesn't you Indian dipshit

>>712798958
>ozempic face
he's ngmi

>>712804771
>so just like everyone else that knows what they're doing and isn't throwing shit at a wall
esl

>>712804429
No, Ramesh...
No...

little to no steam drones today
looks like fatmericans are sleeping

>the only console that even comes close to the benevolence of steam is literally dying
console users are actual slaves

>>712797272
>after 50k tokens he starts sending notices to FBI that someone is trying to ruin his business for refunding a game

>>712804939
They have to accept refunds in those terms (and harsher ones too if you force them) regardless of their supposed policies

>>712805439
sony and nintendo can directly lie about legal shit on their website?
that doesn't sound legal, you got a source for that?

>>712804939
Matching Steam's benevolence does not help when you can not come to a half of a percent of it's abundance of games to play.

>>712797019 (OP)
Same thing that happened to Apple.
Sure, Jobs was a hack but he had a vision and the ipod was god-tier.

>>712805903
But Gaben doesn't have a homosexual redneck to take over his business.

So what's YOUR excuse, fatty?

>>712805996
I haven't eaten breakfast yet.

>timmy thread
Go to bed, Tim.

>>712797019 (OP)
>coping this hard because you will never be as hot as daddy gabe

what if Gaben is drowning and nobody came to save him?

>>712806325
He looks like he eats triple bacon quarter pounders for breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch, supper, midnight snacks, and for his 5 snacks in between every meal.

>>712806357
>the rich man that pays for an entire yacht and its crew will not have people to save him

>>712804790
He's already on Mounjaro

>>712806357
I would save him and accordingly become the sole heir to his fortune and the CEO of Steam. I would ban every anime and loli game past present and future from being on Steam, easily tripling Steam's profits and saving Western civilization in the process.

>62
>Old
Is this an american thing or a NEET thing?
My hometown to this day still has a plenty of 70-80 year olds that could kick a zoomer ass into the stratosphere.

>>712806584
he's been morbidly obese most of his life
62 for someone like that is old as shit

>>712806584
Europeans aren't human so they don't count.

>>712806454
they can only make him drown faster

>>712797019 (OP)
>>712805996
As a fatty myself gaben is my king

>>712804809
Good morning sir

>>712806678
>Europeans aren't human so they don't count

>>712807150
I'm whiter than you Ranjeet the Gypsy.

>>712807095
native english speakers don't have issues understanding barely subtle digs
but you do

>>712797019 (OP)
Didn't he lose weight?

>>712801354
Didn't harvest moon or something invent those first?
Also nintento was already taking 30% on all games not theirs

>gabe dies
>steam now run by a new suitfaggot, just like every other platform
>customise where steam opens? nope, always store now
>new steam premium grants universal early release for big games, only $15,99 a month
>user reviews? only by Steam+ Approved Reviewers
>refunds? Steam+
>workshop collections? Steam+
>upload to workshop? Steam+
>early access? available to all users
>but non steam+ users have to re-purchase the game at full price when it launches
>steam sales? sure, but all users get 10-20% discounts whilst the deep discounts are for Steam+ only
>use steam offline-play your games without needing internet access (Steam+)
>profile customisation? that's steam+
>market? you better believe it's steam+

>>712807571
The deep discounts have not existed for like 10 years

>>712807746
Now they're back for only $17.99 a month!

>>712807571
why do you people insist on believing gaben is a monarch when he's already taking the backseat and no doubt has a line of successors planned
you think any of the high ranking insiders are stupid enough to throw away the unmatched reputation they have and kill the golden goose with how much money it already brings in?

Gaben is based and I'll always love him. Timmy and his scraps of free games can stay and go.

>>712807806
The suits don't understand vidya and they never will. Never underestimate.

>>712807878
valve doesn't have suits to begin with
it's all hyperspecific insiders
it's not like you need an army to manage people and balance the books in a company that hires so few people

>>712807806
>gaben is a monarch
not at all, he has indeed shifted very deeply into corporate culture

however
>steam still better than any other launcher/store in existence
>steam doesn't offer some sort of premium subscription
>steam offers refunds
as for
>stupid enough to throw away the unmatched reputation they have
This is the video games industry, anon. All that matters is line go up. Even if it means the death of everything-line going up lots for a week is better than it going up a bit for a decade now.

>>712807175
Dream on pablo.

>>712807571
What you're describing is probably not even half as bad of what is coming.
But I'm 95% sure steam subscription is gonna happen after Gaben leaves us because all the homosexual pederasts like sony and nintendo do this and normalfaggot goys don't see anything wrong with it.

>>712797019 (OP)
>the world would totally end if that one fat guy got replaced by another guy
Why do retards love saying this so much?

>>712797019 (OP)
He has more guts than you, anon.

>>712808228
The police being retarded doesn't change the fact I have the sweet luxury of AC while the Europoors die of heatstroke in their 600 year old apartment infested with rats that still have the bubonic plague.

>>712809930
Except in this case it's true. Gabe owns majority stake in Valve. When he's gone and someone else takes over, greed will eventually prevail as it always does with humans and they'll take the company public. Once that happens, no matter what, the company is doomed.
If you've been around since the beginning of PC gaming as a major player in the gaming scene, count your blessings and appreciate every day we get to keep Steam free of grubby investor hands. The day is coming, it's only a matter of time, and then the last bastion of principled business operation will have fallen.

>>712797019 (OP)
He's on ozempic, he has 3 more lives.

>>712810863
>3 more lives
2 more half lives at most.

>>712811635
He's got another couple years in him, give him time.

>>712797019 (OP)
>uberwealthy
>dying
Death is for the plebs.

>>712811328
I don't get it.

>>712815957
in the original image it looks like a face is watching gaben, innit
a face with bushy eyebrows squinting, with a neckbeard

>>712816116
It kinda looks like the dad from cloudy with a chance of meatballs, with a neckbeard and toupee.