Is not "nostalgia" Melee WAS better and still is peak

>>712815828 (OP)
Just a reminder that if we all pitch in and get melee on the switch 2 we can kill the competitive scene and force people to buy more switch 2s.

>>712815828 (OP)
the melee community murdered Hax

>>712815828 (OP)
I think it's well deserved that the lasting legacy of smashfags is to be autistic smelly pedophile retards that killed a dude

>>712815828 (OP)
I tried it again a few months ago after not touching it for twenty years. The single-player content is good but the actual fighting seems incomplete.

>>712816803
well it wasn't me so idc

Melee was a beautiful accident that cant be recreated or topped no matter how hard some dev team tries

>>712815828 (OP)
we know, we were pretending to hate it to keep the thread going.

>>712817761
I think sakurai is just so much better at making characters feel good to play than almost every other dev. I think it's the main reason all smash clones fail. Even when he's destroying his games they still control better than every other platform fighter

>>712817869
If it was all Sakurai just being good at what he does brawl smash 4 and ult would also be good

>nobody here has slippi tags

>>712818008
well he nuked his gameplay on purpose starting with brawl because he hated tourneyfags so much. I don't think it's a good comparison. He COULD make post melee games control just as well but he doesn't want to

>>712818242
idk Ultimate did seem like an attempt to cater to tourney fags

>>712818514
it's kind of a half-assed attempt desu. I mean smash 64 is similar to melee with the way it controls, it's not like he did it on accident twice. He only gave a concession to tourneyfags because they wouldn't stop complaining about it but he'll never go full measure with it

>>712817090
Maybe if you're just bad at the game lol

>>712816573
Yes we did. And TO chads are going to get away with all of it. Cope about it.

t. MDVA TO

>snoys have to pretend to like a shitty 25 year old Nintendo game in attempt to discredit the Switch because Ultimate's success mindbroke them so hard
Gamecubesnoys are a pathetic phenomenon.

>>712817761
Delusional snoy.

>>712815828 (OP)
It’s solely because of the momentum carrying over from action to action

>>712815828 (OP)
Buffering in modern Smash has made me so much worse at this.

>>712819198
Possible. And maybe there's something to >>712821702's point as well. But it doesn't feel quite right.

can you describe how melee is better than ultimate without sounding like a virgin?

>>712815828 (OP)
>Melee was better
then why every game who tried to be Melee fail?
Hint: Melee has no entry point. Someday, all the Meleefags will die, and no new players will arrive.

>>712817761
This, so much this...

>>712822563
None of the games trying to "be like melee" are as good as melee + they cost money

Like should I play Melee on PC, which is free and has flawless netcode, or should I play the legally distinct melee clone with like 10 characters (half of them locked behind microtransactions) and overwatch artstyle.

>>712822306
Jump momentum.
If I'm running fast and I jump, I shouldn't freeze in the air. Simple as that. Platformers in the 80's understood this, but a 2018 game with thirty years of advancements refuse to follow that core mechanic.

>>712822306
Sakurai was unhappy that players who learned how to play the game were able to easily beat players who hadn't. He felt that this was a negative experience for casual players, even though casual players would obviously never play in a competitive context in 2001. His solution was to remove the fast, fluid movement and advanced techniques that allowed players to both play more intelligent neutral and execute complex, creative combos.

If you look at Ultimate, the consequences are obvious. Almost every competitively viable character is good because their either have a broken gimmick (either because they're DLC or their gimmick merely slipped through the cracks during development and post-release patches) or are really good at standing slightly outside the effect range of their opponent and spamming safe, auto-cancel aerial attacks. That's all the game is without fun, fast movement.

The game's fun casually, but the issue is that Melee was fun casually too. You didn't go over to your friends house or the AV club at school and get your shit slapped by some sweatlord with no self-awareness who was playing casual games between friends like it was bracket. You could play Melee casually or competitively, and casual Melee was better for its competitive mechanics. Sakurai simply removed that choice because he was afraid of peoples' feelings getting hurt in a hypothetical situation which was incredibly rare in reality.

>>712818178
I got tired of Slippi and moved on to RoA2

nope, feels like shit to play. the concept of l-canceling is fucking retarded. is like the game has check-list things you have to do to make your character handle normally

imagine if in real life everytime you jumped then landed, you had to re-tie your shoes. imagine if everytime you wanted to break into a sprint in real life you had to repeatedly jump and slam down and crouch. feels like shit

>>712815941
No tournament will want to use a switch 2 emulated version over original hardware connected to CRTs. It's not gonna happen.

>>712816803
only to /v/tards that parrot shitposts without actually looking into any details
hint: the whole "stinky" meme originated from a smash 4 tournament, not melee

>>712824604
rivals 2 is actually fantastic but I need more characters. I feel like olympia is the only character that feels good to me

>>712820282
>likes melee
>s-s-s-s-snoy!
Hi eric

>>712816573
he murdered himself by being an obsessed freak

>>712824742
>imagine if everytime you wanted to break into a sprint in real life you had to repeatedly jump and slam down and crouch.
the fact that you think wavedashing is a movement tech and not a positioning tech speaks volumes about how you haven't actually played the game

>>712822306
it is more fun

>>712824604
I like the physics on both.
Rivals is easier for casual play I don't think Slippi has FFA since last time I played.

>>712815828 (OP)
Melee wasn't good

>>712824742
even as a casual who only played with other casuals it always felt great to play. brawl immediately felt worse. everyone I know irl agrees

>>712824991
>>712824991
not to mention how you can easily 100% melee without knowing what a wavedash is or even L-cancelling, I have

is shitters that are envious of pros that even care about this shit, I just like Melee because it plays better

>>712824889
Olympia's probably my favorite platform fighter character, period, but I'm interested to see whether I like Absa or not since I really like PM Zelda and she's insanely fucking dishonest. I'm mostly just happy that the characters are so mechanically distinct, even if a few of them feel like they're lacking something. I played pretty much every character in Ultimate at one point or another and there were way too many who were just
>here's your bair to fish for kills with
>here's your easy-bake 2-3 hit combo off of throw that only works until 60%
>here's your projectile, which may or may not be useless
>alright, have fun

>>712815828 (OP)
Purely design-wise, yes. The game moves at a brisk pace, animations are punchy, sound design is unmatched, visual effects are tasteful and the game has an ample amount of content to make singleplayer worthwhile without turning into a slog. However, the game is simply too hard to control for a casual player, both because of its sheer speed and lack of buffers.

Melee is objectively the best because it's the only one where being on a platform isn't a death sentence.

>>712825246
it's like f zero gx. you can complete all of the single player content on the highest difficulty (of which there is a lot) without doing any of the advanced tech, but people still seethe about it

>>712825147
yes, it feels good to play with other casuals. the base control in the game is great. im talking about the instant you play with someone who knows what they are doing. you realize that you are actually missing a series of checklist items that allow you to act 3 times as fast
>>712824991
I never said movement tech or positioning tech, you assumed that in order to have some bizarre semantic win in an argument we werent even having. the point is that in order to keep up with anyone who knows what they are doing, you have to check-off all of this arbitrary feeling shit. did you l-cancel to act faster? are you wavedashing to play the neutral properly? are you shorthopping constantly?

this isnt allowed with any other fighting game. imagine if in streetfighter you had to do a quicktime event everytime you landed from an air-move in order to allow you to act at a normal speed upon hitting the ground. why do people put up with this in melee?

>>712825246
This. The seething you see from casuals is completely hypocritical. First off, you can play Melee just fine without any advanced techniques. But they accuse competitive players of forcing people to play a specific way, which simply isn't true. The only person who forces people to play a specific way is Sakurai himself. Second, their argument always boils down to
>I can't win
>therefore it's competitive players fault for caring about winning too much
It's just baffling. If these people had their way with other Nintendo games, we'd be playing a version of Mario Kart where you just hold down the accelerator without ever drifting or boosting, and games are just decided by who gets the best items.

On the other hand, the game was never designed to be played via Slippi, so of course you're going to get your ass beat by the only people dedicated enough to still be playing a 20 year-old game if you go online with no experience or without even attempting to learn to play.

>>712825246
>100% melee
lmao single player fighting. we're clearly talking about playing against other people who know anything about the game. i can assure you, that you will not last a single fucking second online in melee or in a tournament or even at your locals without essentially mastering l-canceling and wavedashing.

Melee has the best stages and the best items

>>712825329
but melee has less potential for resets to neutral than any other smash game. if you're on a platform and a good fox is under you and lands an up-air on you, you are fucked

>>712825837
so you WANT to play with tourneyfags?

>>712825329
What are you talking about? Platforms are incredibly safe in Ultimate because there's no threat of your opponent wavelanding. They can't waveland grab you, so their only option is to pray that their character's jump height aligns with the platform height for a meaningful follow-up, or to read your tech with an utilt, usmash, or aerial with Ultimate's pitiful, slow movement.

>>712825994
who the actual fuck plays melee today without being engaged in some sort of competitive environment? whether slippi, netplay, locals, or tourneys? its like saying you still play thirdstrike to this day but only for the story mode or something. insane to me.

>>712825927
What a strange thing to say. That's not true at all.

>>712826160
i mean, not zero to death but much more so than any other smash game minus oddities like 4 bayonetta, right? I mean im pretty hbox with jiggly puff could completely rape someone above him on a platform if he gets the first hit in. that same potential does not exist for him in ultimate.

>>712826124
>who the actual fuck plays melee today without being engaged in some sort of competitive environment?
I play with my friends and family who are not tourneyfags

>>712815828 (OP)
I love this game, and have since i started in the early 2000's, but everything about the community is fucking incredibly aggressive, filled with actual unironical real life pedos, and overtuned into politics. It cant die fast enough, even if slippi sadly goes with it.

>>712825927
>but melee has less potential for resets to neutral than any other smash game
bro have you ever seen smash 64 gameplay

>>712826006
>Platforms are incredibly safe in Ultimate because there's no threat of your opponent wavelanding
your movement off of them is incredibly predictable and easy to punish

>>712826124
>who the actual fuck plays melee today without being engaged in some sort of competitive environment?
people who play with their family, friends, and neighbors like the game was always designed for you weirdo

>>712826280
Puff or marth sure but you said fox.

>>712825837
Not him, but I played both Melee casually with other people for more than a decade and a half, both before and after Brawl and Smash 4's release, without L cancelling. The game just handled really nicely compared to the sequels.

I look back very fondly on those years. They were some of the most fun times I've ever had.

>>712824604
Not Melee
Don't care

>>712815828 (OP)
tranny pedo game

>>712815828 (OP)
Too many trannies, unironically
And yes if we're talking a primarily multiplayer game, 80% of the playerbase being trannies is kind of a deal breaker

>>712826336
Actual literal schizo post.

>>712826569
Damage control.

>>712826461
nigga its from 2002 play the new one with friends you'll have a better time

>>712826678
If the new one wasn't shit I'd play it. But it is so I play the good version.

>>712826569
You are not allowed to criticize TOs who handled hax's ban or have any opinion to the right of communism in virtually any melee online space without being banned, it's a literal police state.

>>712826890
Proof?

After jumping on a real fighting game melee and the community around it just seems so incredibly lame.

>>712826482
based

Melee on Nintendo Switch 2 Online soon, trust the plan

>>712825695
>are you wavedashing to play the neutral properly? are you shorthopping constantly?
you don't need to do either of these
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3huKJYL5Hog

>>712827545
I love melee but realistically anon you have to be able to short hop and L cancel. Don't be disingenuous.

>>712827545
>Literal autistic savant from the same bloodline as pannenkoek was able to have mild success a decade ago via playing the easiest punish character in the game.

>>712827545
>that marth player visibly seething as he get shield-grabbed over and over

>>712826847
this

>>712825886
factual

>>712827798
yes, but you don't have to short hop "constantly"
>>712827923
>n-n-n-no stop proving me wrong, that doesn't count!!!

>>712831730
Why is the only example of "good players" with no tech skill you faggots ever post this guy. He hasn't played since like 2014.

Melee has the best physics, so it's the best.

>>712831730
>if you have super pannenkoek autism you too can beat decent players from the metagame as it were 11 years ago

>>712832119
it goes both ways, not every tourneyfag sweat is actually that good at the game

>>712832389
if this were true you would have more tech-skilless players picking up sheik and winning purely off of fundamentals but we are not living in shitter era early 2010's melee anymore. plus why the fuck would you play melee if you don't care to learn all the esoteric mechanics when ultimate is more polished for that style of gameplay?

>>712832521
most people that enter tourneys are sweats that copy the meta, while online you would see sweats thrown off my strats they are not used to

still rare but I have seen so

competitive fags deserves to be hanged

>>712816573
Leffen did the world a service unironically.

>>712815828 (OP)
nope
Brawl made melee obsolete in just a few years

>>712822306
Proper combos, better hitstun, jumping momentum. That's basically it. Ultimate still feels like a Brawl variant.

>>712820036
Sex with Shiver.

>>712824604
>Literally just Smash character movesets but with furry skins
lmao this is why I can't take you fags seriously. All the games in your genre are just aping that one game series that's good.

>>712824604
>heavies... but FAST like everyone else
Shit game

>>712835214
smash literally started with furries

>>712836054
no, it didn't

>>712835214
>Game but FURRIES
So... better?

>>712836194
>Pikachu
>Yoshi
>Donkey Kong
>Fox
>Kirby(crypto furry)
>Jigglypuff(crypto furry)

literally half of the ssb64 roser IS furry

>>712836270
yiff in hell

>>712836349
It doesn't count because... it just doesn't, okay.

>>712836363
>>>/2006/
You have to call me a tranny jew nigger now, chuddy

>>712836270
*BLAM* *BLAM *BLAM*
Die furry scum.

>>712836660
>>712836363
holy based

>>712836660
okay pajeet

>>712836660
>>712836363
>>712835214
Why are you faggots so insecure? Afraid you're going to fuck your dog just because you played a game with an animal that walks on two legs? Grow up.

>>712815941
input lag will kill melee on switch 2

>>712837930
wait fuck

>>712827183
Looking like the answer is literally nothing huh? lol

>>712837930
not an issue as long the game runs with decent performance

>>712838275
Melee will NEVER run as well as it does on dolphin/slippi on switch.

>>712815828 (OP)
Sometimes I wish I could grab a fully functional adult who has never played a video game and has absolutely 0 exposure to pop culture and see what he thinks about certain games after playing them.

>>712838481
wrong, I trust nintendo and you should too

>>712815828 (OP)
Melee tourneyfags are simply the loudest. You guys are in the minority.

>>712824813
>hint: the whole "stinky" meme originated from a smash 4 tournament, not melee
And everyone will always associate it with Melee.
You lost, stinky Meleepedo.

>>712838516
Just need to go to Africa for some studies bro.

>look mom im shitposting!
embarrassing

smelee has been declining for an entire decade now by every metric but the 50 sad retards who made it their life live in vehement denial of this fact

melee sucks dick and only faggots like it.

>>712836660
this man is the highest caste

>>712825329
Unless you're forced to the train platform by Melee.

Rivals 2 erased a lot of my Melee muscle memory and I don't care enough to get it back. It just feels better to play at this point, and even though it's unfinished it already has as many competitively viable characters as Melee's roster
>b-but the furries
Why should I care? I'm not a furry.

>>712837930
they will never remake melee, ever

they're too upset and asshurt

>>712838793
Well that kinda rules out fully functional.
I remember listening to a podcast where one of the dudes talks about his terminally offline friend who never plays games really enjoying Silent Hill Downpour.
That's more what I'm talking about.

>>712839525
>I'm not a furry.
play it enough and you will become one

>>712839648
I've dumped 250 hours into it and I'm still a straight white male attracted to human women

>>712815828 (OP)
True

>>712815828 (OP)
melee is great but
dash dancing is a bad mechanic.
meteor cancel is a bad mechanic.
balance is poor.
no input buffer is unpleasant.
l cancel is a debatably bad mechanic.
ledgedashing is ugly as a meta strategy.
ledge invincibility abuse is somewhat ugly.
wobbling is ugly.

>>712840264
>no input buffer is unpleasant
i find it weird how some people swear by no input buffer and others despise it

>>712822306
Sounds dumb but Melee just feels faster and thus more fun to play both casually and competitively

>>712840264
>dash dancing is a bad mechanic.
How

>>712825837
>Melee sucks because you have to git gud if you want to play it competitively
Ebin.

>>712827183
The big discords, the subreddits, etc. Are good examples of it. It's rather grim in those spaces.

>>712840781
encourages infinite noncommittal play. ie I will not attack unless you have already committed to something and I can spend the full 8 minutes dashing back and forth to bait out a response

Buffered inputs
>Never know when moves end
>Never know when the buffer begins
>Moves come out delayed by several frames
>Mash every input to guarantee it comes out on the first possible frame
>Sometimes buffer eats your input anyway
>unintuitive blending of inputs together

Unbuffered inputs
>Always know when moves end
>Always know when actionable state begins
>Moves come out as soon as the frame is rendered
>Never mash inputs, only skill and precision is required
>If you input before actionable, you always know exactly how and why your input was incorrect
>Each input is independent and flows freely into the next

>>712840264
spikes are way more cringe than meteor cancelling. it rewards spamming the same move

I think I've never even noticed the later Smash games have an input buffer because I don't play Smash like that anyway.

>>712840937
So you get banned from discord or reddit? Literally who cares? Pretty certain the anon i was replying to is just a legit crazy person.

>>712841351
Bingo. Buffering is a crutch. Yes you will feel like a retard for a bit when switching to unbuffered inputs because you actually have to time your inputs but once you get used to it buffering inputs just feels so bad

>>712841409
falco's spike is OP but it's dumb that ganon for example cannot guarantee a KO with dair.

>>712841351
buffered inputs gives some leeway to get inputs out on the first actionable frame instead of requiring extremely tight timing. it's "pro-human" and less pro robotic execution.

>>712841453
You'd have to be retarded to not notice. You don't have to play "like that" to notice when you hit a button it takes an eternity to come out.

>>712841649
That's input delay, not an input buffer.

>>712841480
Their entire scene is terminally on discord and reddit. You get villified and lumped in with pedos and nazis if you even mention you support somebody like technicals for example.

>>712841826
That's because the head of the banned scene is literally unironically a nazi retard. Which tech allys himself with.

>>712841743
Buffer gives the exact same feeling. Functionally there's not much difference.

>>712841958
Literally who

>>712838758
Sorry zoom zoom but le epic stinky smash players meme has been around for 20 years. They even embraced it, smashboards used to have a deodorant emoticon iirc.
I used to be heavily involved with my local smash and yeah there were absolutely some autismos who didn't shower enough. This was before Brawl came out, much less smash 4.
However it is undeniable that FGC in general has personal hygiene issues. Smash players just got the rap because they were the most autistic and easiest to bully. Survival of the stinkiest I guess.

>>712820036
Do not shitpost with my wife faggot

>>712842106
Manalord. Why talk about this stuff if you don't even know such a basic fact.

>>712842197
The dude who went to hax$ funeral and made an ass of himself, that technicals has said time and time again he doesn't fuck with? Oh, huh.

>>712841826
technicals is literally the only funny thing left about melee

have you watched a tournament recently? its fucking sad. men nearly 40 that can't even muster up the energy to talk about the game while commentating. somehow its both corporate and poverty. fucking soulless

>>712838275
you don't know what you're talking about

>>712839527
yeah but I was thinking more along the lines of NSO GC version

>Nearly a month has passed and only half the views of the original upload (OG upload would've been at around 500k-1M views by now btw)
Demonic smash trannies had a huge win with that videos deletion, unfortunately...
Bump btw

>>712842318
Weird that he consistently defends that group of people then. Almost like he doesn't have a real principled view on any of this.

>>712841151
While you're right to an extent, dash dancing has a trade-off: it's more difficult to shield and perfect shield and to precisely space your options when you're dash dancing. Also, dash dancing while waiting for your opponent to throw out an option gives them stage control. If your opponent doesn't get annoyed, all you're doing is backing yourself into a corner where you're likely to get caught trying to double jump out or something.

I only have a Rivals 2 example on hand, but Ranno's fstrong is an example of a move that's much easier to consistently space if you're not dash dancing, especially since it has significant enough start-up that spacing or timing it poorly just gets it shielded and punished.

I usually just throw projectiles at people who dash dance passively until they fucking stop and start approaching. It works well.

>>712842403
nah man they skip melee every time they re-release gamecube classics

they hate it too much, its almost sad

>>712842505
You're actually one of the discorders/redditors lmao its crazy. Lets see evidence of him allying himself with mana.

>>712815828 (OP)
>Boot up Melee on my totally-legit GameCube running Windows 10
>Melee menu theme hits me like a truck full of nostalgia bricks
>That crusty announcer voice audio
>SOVL black and neon grid menus
>Cool side-scrolling single player missions
My favourite was the Zelda one with all the redeads. OoT Link > BoTW Link, too.

I still like Ultimate's expanded roster and movement, though. I'm a casul, it is what it is. It has the better Zelda, too.

>>712842426
>He thought the people in charge of a grassroots smash scene would face any real consequences for negligence and nepotism
Who were they going to answer to? Themselves?

>fanbase incapable of moving on
>choose their victims from the age pool they were back in 2003
>can’t bathe themselves without being reminded
Some things will never change.

>>712842773
Nope. Don't associate with any of those groups. Notice how you blatantly mixed up what i said to make an argument?
>consistently defends that group of people then
>group of people
>durrr allying himself with mana??!!
I'd ask if you can read but you obviously can. You're just a disingenuous retard like 90% of the schizos that post about melee on this dogshit board.

>Hax will never face justice because a black zoomer nazi is the one who spearheaded the movement to hold the TOs accountable
kek
literal clown show

>>712843527
What the FUCK can Cody even sue him for? He literally just repeated what that retard said on twitter and to Hax.

>>712843654
Cody is too poor to sue him but the thing about technicals is he makes fun of trannies regularly so that's more than sufficient to basically shut down any discussion about him or his coverage of hax in the melee scene.

>>712817761
I dunno. I think Rivals of Aether 2 hits all the right notes as Melee without being a mess of garbage balance and obtuse tech that only exists as a happy accident. Will it ever be as big as Melee? Of course not because it doesn't have the Nintendo branding and characters, but as a game, it's better in every way. Small wonder when it has an active developer continuing to build on and adjust it and the game can be designed around all of the tech that Meleefags cling to it for instead of half of it only existing on accident thanks to a rushed dev cycle. It allows the devs to actually clean it up and make it work better across the board, cut out unnecessary steps, and actually inform players that it's even there.

>>712843849
He does? I've literally only watched the Hax and Nairo shit from him and he does play around their delusions of using she/her.

>hax dead
>nobody cares anymore
>everyone, even hax's allies, are going to and financially supporting the tournaments that helped kill him
>if you bring up hax anywhere but twitter you get insta blacklisted
>even on twitter you'll occasionally get "le ratio'd"
>cody's probably suing tech with some sort of intention to get techs hax videos forcibly taken down for good and to make it where tech isn't allowed to talk about it publicly anymore
>unless another bomb shell drops in some way, nothing ever happens
Literally 1984 in the smash community right now, it's insane

>>712815828 (OP)
A quarter of the cast is unviable because of the down button.
The game has some really bad design decisions.

>Keep Hax banned forever because he called a popular streamer a sociopath
>Unban player who helped cover up his friend fucking a 15 year old
All of the memes about the smash scene are true btw.

>>712815828 (OP)
No one remembers melee.

The most popular ones was 64 and brawl.

>>712843965
Pretty much. I think the game needs a lot of work, but it's fun and the developer actively supports it while listening to the community. Case in point, floorfucking is getting nerfed tomorrow along with the stupid fucking lion.

>>712841958
And? Technicals doesn't support him or his tournament series and it cannot be assumed that anyone supports the national socialist party for entering the mana monthly

Been playing Project M+ and getting a feel for the combat. It’s fun and I’m actually better at it than I thought I’d be.

>>712845747
Stop and think about the fact that this is a poster put out by an outfit that organizes video game events

>>712845747
>we need to BAN this guy for keeping knowledge of this crime a secret but tweek? he's cool so he can stay
Never understood this

>>712846319
if you like PM, check out Rivals 2 since it's very similar in terms of design and there's a few analogues to PM characters. zetterburn is wolf, ranno is sheik, absa is zelda, etc.
i mostly recommend it because brawlback is never coming out, and PM netplay is kind of inconsistent for me.

>>712846319
I like PM a lot. I think it's my favorite smash game. My siblings and I would do 1v3 with the playable gigabowser.

>>712833524
Who's going to bully that gook mutt so he kills himself too?

I don't know about any of this gay nerd community shit but Melee is best

See >>712841958 you dented moron >>712843224

>>712847601
I tried to get into Rivals 1 but couldn’t because of the low-framerate anims that just looked and felt really floaty to me, not to mention the kinda bland characters, although I do like furries. Is Rivals 2 the one with tons of modding support on Steam, kinda like a more metropolitan version of MUGEN?

When the mana monthly came out major TOs threatened to ban anyone that entered the tournament despite them having a prize pot

>>712849754
rivals 1 is the one with workshop support. rivals 2 has better visuals, more mechanics, etc. it's eventually getting workshop support.

>>712819487
gimr shouldn't you be bailing your brother out of prison

>>712824604
The hitstun physics meaning that the guy who got the spike ends up beneath the other dude looks so fucking weird.

the fact that the insane leftists who bullied hax into suicide are still seething whenever it's brought up is proof of their guilt

>>712851457
Yeah, only the guilty would feel the need to defend the actions.

>>712851529
so mad you can't even type lol
you're disgusting trash and your community is too

>>712851692
I'm being sincere. If these people didn't feel responsibility for their actions, they wouldn't defend it. Nor would they feel a need to defend it if there wasn't some truth to what people were saying.

>>712851869
good point then. if only ninendo would C&D slippi so those freaks would kill themselves and justice could be served

>>712815828 (OP)

Predict the next big smash happening /v/!

>>712853041
mang0 retires

I went to try Ultimate again. It really felt worse than I remembered before. I like some characters (heavies including Samus, Mewtwo) but many others left me thinking "I wish the PM tech was here" and I find that Rivals movement + online is much better. I do have sentimental attachment towards Ult but why do all the fun characters have to be the worst ones. Where's my Sm4sh Mewtwo.
Regarding Melee, I used to play it a lot. Probably the best Smash competitively, besides mods. The top tiers are lots of fun and wavedashing does have a use case. In Rivals for instance I use it to get enough distance for a tilt.

>>712854547
play hewdraw remix

>>712854625
I have. That's why I put "mods" in plural. I don't know all about the balancing but it's more fun than Ult to me. Dark Samus is great.

>>712853041
everyone dies

>>712854547
Ultimate is good as long as you don't play online

>>712842878
>SOVL black and neon grid menus
I always really liked the art design for Melee, it's cool. I also liked the trophies a lot and how they highlight design differences between the original series and Melee's take on them.

I miss Brawl
Single-player Smash was never as good as it was in Brawl, outside of Break the Targets/Board the Platforms/Race to the Finish

>>712854547
Ultimate's input delay makes me physically ill. In a perfect world, we'd have a game that's somewhere between Ultimate and Rivals of Aether 2 in terms of depth, but Sakurai will never dislodge the massive stick up his ass about how people play the game, so we're stuck with short hop auto-cancel aerial spam, the game.

>>712838275
Wind Waker has insane input lag on Switch 2.
Soul Calibur 2 is better and I’ve barely played F-Zero GX cause I need analog triggers.

bump
smellee is doomed

>>712858605
I don't care about this shit, I just like Melee better as a game

>>712843527
Hax did it to himself, and technicals and his friends helped him along. You can go back and check all the old smashboards posts and YouTube videos, the Hax/Leffen beef has always been absurdly one-sided. Leffen thought Hax had shitty opinions, Hax thought Leffen was the devil incarnate and ruined his own life trying to get everyone else to think that.

>>712858895
>Hax thought Leffen was the devil incarnate
He is a massive faggot egomaniac, every other fighting game he steps foot in calls him on his bullshit and fortunately they aren't ran by power tripping troons who need to keep him around for twitch ad revenue so they aren't silenced into conformity.

Even if he was in the wrong he didn't deserve permanent community exile, certainly not when they let actual pedos like nairo run amok.

>>712858605
lmao yeah when I saw the post that he got second, it was obvious.
Melee had an event there too.

>>712859452
>every other fighting game he steps in calls him on his bullshit
It’s funny because he’s perfectly fine with the actual players of the game, it’s just the spectators that talk shit.

And Hax wouldn’t have been banned if he didn’t triple down every six months and readily admit every apology he made was in bad faith, and sic his community of schizo supporters on every TO that didn’t have patience for his bullshit. Literally, he couldn’t get out of his own way.
Also, why the fuck do you people bring up an Ultimate player when talking about Melee? Who the fuck cares about Nairo? The communities barely overlap at this point, go scream about him in an ultimate thread.

>>712859923
>It’s funny because he’s perfectly fine with the actual players of the game,
Nobody likes or gets along with the cunt though. He has his dickriding twitch viewers and besides them, nobody.

>>712859923
>Why are you bringing up the fact that people who run both events don't punish statutory rape but permanently ban an OG in the scene for saying mean things about a top player
gee I dunno

>>712860014
I mean what top players in the FGC clearly hate him? Because he seems to get along fine in Strive and DBFZ. The only one I know of is Tekken and that’s because the Tekken community fucking sucks.

>>712860287
Who are some people in the strive or DBFZ scene that he's friends with

>>712860208
Real quick, could you name the tournaments Nairo is able to attend and has attended recently?

>>712859923
>readily admit every apology he made was in bad faith
you WILL suck tranny cock AND leffens cock AND apologize in front of everyone for causing ALL the current problems in the melee community (even though all you did was make a generic drama video that was correct) HAXCHUD!

>>712860529
>hours long manifesto describing your deep seated hatred for video game player is generic drama video
Yeah sure man!

>>712860436
Nairo doesn't compete because Twitch banned him for the obvious demerit of fucking a 15 year old. Community is still more than willing to let that slide though. Of course considering he basically got away with a federal crime I would count my blessings and fuck off too instead of trying to reintegrate myself.

>>712860826
So he doesn’t compete, and he was unbanned from a tristate regional which means all TOs deserve the rope, is that about right?

>>712860651
>Hours long video of mostly verifiably true things Leffen has done and continues to do but LE SCHIZO RED ADIDAS SHIRT means none of it actually matters
based

>one character that has no bad matchups and lopsided matchups agiainst the majority of the roster
Why play melee when Project M and Rivas of Aether 2 actually have balance?

>>712859923
>Leffen dickrider
First of all, ur gay, secondly he had drama and got laughed out by both the Tekken and Guilty Gear communities, just fyi. Almost as if all smashtrannies are "people" that never developed social skills and resort to acting like faggots

>>712861008
Jeff Bezos has more integrity than the average smash TO, so yes, they all deserve the rope. You are correct.

>>712861008
As well as VGBC complacently allowing him to restream events. It's fine if you don't know anything about the situation, but why feel the need to share your opinion in that case?

>>712815828 (OP)
For some reason Super Smash Bros. Melee is the only Smash bros. game I've ever been able to play to completion. Maybe it's because I was young and didn't have as many games to play as I had hoped to. Do the more recent games even have stuff like Break the Targets? I used to play that over and over. Also, Melee has my favorite atmosphere out of any Smash game.

>>712837174
All furries fuck dogs.

Speaking of Nairo, how the fuck did he manage to con the average smashfag into thinking he's innocent
>Seen multiple times with Zack at venues getting gay with each other
>Admits he raped Zack and is getting therapy
>Retracts admission and says actually HE was raped
>Gets Samsora to lie for him
>Makes a video about a settlement with a private outcome that neither he or Zack are allowed to publically talk about

>>712861306
Because Nairo isn’t at the fucking tournaments and wasn’t liable for anything legally?

>>712842195
Right back at you, Cubesnoy.

>>712861172
If he got laughed out of the guilty gear community, why is he still playing in it?

>>712859923
>It’s funny because he’s perfectly fine with the actual players of the game, it’s just the spectators that talk shit.
Yeah man, I'm sure that Mang0 calls Leffen a fucking asshole and says that you shouldn't talk to him as a joke. I'm sure Hbox is totally chill with Leffen's attempts to assassinate his character when he was winning tournaments and making him butthurt. It's all water under the bridge with m2k too, except for the part where he says he's a terrible person and should be banned from competing in Melee.

Fucking kill yourself, cocksucker.

>>712861047
If by verifiably true things, you mean schizo theories Hax barely strung together with any coherence, such as the Boxx drama (which Hax himself mostly instigated), the metoo allegations, and yes, the red shirt lmao
God it must suck to have to dredge up the will to defend that poor mentally ill bastard still

Fucking Nintendo Power brought this hell upon me

>>712861690
I don't think anyone is conned by him at this point, at least I'd hope not. His case really just seems like a one-off incident, considering Captain Zack was a manipulative little shit who was actively trying to seduce people. That in no way forgives what he did, all it means is that he was a complete fucking retard, not a malicious predator.
He seems to still have plenty of friends within the Smash community, including top players, but he just seems to want to stay in his little streamer bubble where he never has to address the fact that he got his dick sucked by a 15 year-old, which is fine.

>>712862158
>His case really just seems like a one-off incident

>>712815828 (OP)
Ultimate surpassed it.

>>712861908
>Schizo theories
The entire video is shit he has done to other people with the only theories being hax trying to psychoanalyze him as having the dark triad and suggesting his choice of shirt one day was provocative

>>712841628
Edgeguarding is strong enough without spikes and meteor canceling is great. Falcon gets non-nipple kills all the time. It's fine, but would not be at all if recoveries were better. Buffering is what it is. Not having it means no retarded option-selects or other issues. I am neutral on this one, though.

Dash dancing, however, is absolutely a good mechanic only because dash locks out options. The smash games without DD still have noncommital play. Melee actually has the overall most in the series despite shit like ledges being strong. It has to do with the typical number of neutral wins required and risk/reward for approaching. Now I do think certain aspects of balance are borked. Some grabs are too good and some CCing is too bad. Recoveries are terribly imbalanced and need a slight boost among a lot of the non-top tiers. I think the game that captures the most of what makes Melee good was Slap City more than Rivals 2, which imo is more like PM

>>712862305
>retarded nerd gets seduced by an underage incubus
yes
that's the incident
what i mean is that i don't see a world where it happens again

>>712843965
also the girls are cuter and some of the guys too i guess

>>712824604
The movement looks so janky.

Did M2K actually wet the bed all the time or was my buddy lying

>>712862467
Nairo will always be a pedophile. Stop defending him.

>>712825695
>>712825147

Fuck you

find me 5 casual Yoshi players that think this.

>>712862158
Well what happened with him and zack didn't just occur in a vacuum, and his excuse or lack thereof was filled with countless holes, people admitting to having lied for him, etc. I would argue he is more of a predator than a guy who's been a respected member of the community for 20 years making a single video about one individual being a dickhead and providing evidence and justification for why he believed this.

>>712861802
I’m talking about other FGs, dumbass. And also, if you actually paid attention, Mang0 calling Leffen an asshole holds about the same weight as Mang0 calling literally every other top player an asshole. He’s said it to Zain, to Cody, to Juan, Mang0 isn’t someone’s friend unless he’s insulting them. And speaking of Juan, that motherfucker gave as good as he got. M2K specifically has had issues with Leffen for a while but the most recent shit is completely irrational. His main complaint is an allegation he successfully denied which Leffen specifically said wasn’t confirmed and didn’t try to signal boost at the time, but to Jason he basically tried to ruin his life.

>>712859452
>>712862536 >>712861705
>>712861690
nairo was raped

>>712862835
*Nairo raped

>>712862878
15 is the age of consent in many european countries

>>712841958
Moving the goalposts. Argument conceded.

>>712862510
>The movement looks so janky.
It feels really good.

>>712862620
>I'm talking about FGs
Street Fighter players openly mocked him when he was invited to that invitational in South Africa. The entire Tekken community hated him so much that they hunted him down in ranked until he fucked off from the game. Only Melee and Strive are pussy-whipped enough to let Leffen graft himself to their communities, and they still shit-talk him constantly despite doing nothing about him. The only people who tolerate his presence are either ignorant or deluded.

>>712824604
too floaty. no momentum. exaggerated hitstun is annoying

>>712862941
Thanks for sharing Muhammad from London, but nobody asked

>>712862941
>15 is the age of consent in many european countries
That doesn't matter because both Nairo and CaptainZack are Americans, so it's illegal.

>>712863021
>exaggerated hitstun is annoying
that's just the stupid cat character's gimmick: tippers stun

>>712863016
So you’re saying it’s pretty much just the Tekken community, given how they’re like why should I care?

>>712863443
crazy way to spend your freetime man

>>712863576
Man I’ve got three minutes till I’m off work and nothing else to do, I’ve wasted my time on worse conversations.

This thread is full of faggots

>>712861908
>Refuses to have any humility and attacks anyone who criticizes him even in constructive ways
true
>Rallies his fans against hungrybox because Puff makes him seethe extremely hard
true
>proliferated false metoo allegations against other popular players for his own benefit, including ones against m2k which nearly cost him his career (!hero)
true
>publically shat on the boxx while shilling frame1 after greg turbo and jisu backstabbed hax, actively trying to sabotage his product
true
>wore red adidas shirt to attack leffen
theory
>is hitler
theory (probably false)

>>712841409
>spikes are way more cringe than meteor cancelling. it rewards spamming the same move

It also gives you a route to comeback and steal stocks quick and encourages more off stage play.

>>712863669
I'd suggest looking inward instead of aligning your selfworth with content creators that you enjoy that don't know you exist, but more power to you

>>712863709
>Refuses to have any humility and attacks anyone who criticizes him even in constructive ways
True, but pot calling the kettle black.
>Rallies his fans against hungrybox because Puff makes him seethe extremely hard
He didn’t need to rally anyone, Hbox was making EVERYONE seethe hard. He basically mindbroke Armada into retiring from the game.
> proliferated false metoo allegations against other popular players for his own benefit, including ones against m2k which nearly cost him his career (!hero)
He explicitly said not to boost the allegations until M2K could respond, and the original tweet had far, far more eyes on it before Leffen ever mentioned it. You can find the vod.
>publically shat on the boxx while shilling frame1 after greg turbo and jisu backstabbed hax, actively trying to sabotage his product
Hax had basically backstabbed all of his collaborators on each controller project he worked on which is why having him on any of the teams was such a shitshow.

Yeah, so aside from the first one? Schizo theories.

>>712858895
Anon, we already have seen what Leffen did to Europe, what Leffen did to Hbox, and the fact that he would shill a competitor box controller to Hax's own makes your argument fall flat on its face.

>>712845747
>>712847034

I thought Samsora was banned for pushing for Zack to come out with his story of sexually assaulting the poor girl Naira.

*hits the poster below me three times*

>>712858362
what's the issue with shorthop aerial spam. I never understood that criticism.

>>712863846
God I hope no one has any sort of self worth being validated in these threads, I’m just here to call people fucking idiots.

>>712864049
Why would Leffen feel obligated to shill the controller of his stalker

>>712862536
Anon, I hope where you live, they raise the age of consent to 35. I hope you feel like a filthy pedo for looking at college girls.

>>712863098
>>712863110
16 is the age of consent in many American states
are those states run by pedophiles?

>>712864616
>20 minutes later
bad internet in England, Muhammad?

>>712817761
>Melee was a beautiful accident
Just like Street Fighter II. All they had to do was not destroy what they already achieved .

>>712864041
What do you mean "pot calling the kettle black"? Hax was very opinionated too, but he didn't actively go out of his way to shit on people who disagreed with him. Leffen is downright malicious to anyone who dares suggest he is wrong.
>He didn’t need to rally anyone, Hbox was making EVERYONE seethe hard.
Armada hated puff, sure, but he didn't quit because of Hbox. He was falling off in his last year and he was actually getting brutally mogged by Leffen. I would wager he probably just quit because he couldn't cope with not being #1 anymore.
I digress though, it went beyond puff hate. Dude was actively talking shit about Hbox as a person, spreading retarded lies about him and called him a sociopath.
>He explicitly said not to boost the allegations until M2K could respond,
Why the fuck would he have a stream where he recants unsubstantiated claims against other players and pressure them to respond in the first place??

>>712864416
Hax makes his controller
>Guys this controller needs to be banned, it offers a completely unfair advantage and I will piss and moan and drag my feet about the legality of it every time it's brought up to keep its creator down, why shouldn't players have to risk exploding their wrists?
Stolen design controller
>Guys this controller is amazing. It's so ergonomic and you can tell a lot of time and effort went into it, shoutout to Jisu :^))
Are you being retarded on purpose?

>>712864616
>16 is the age of consent in many American states
...And CaptainZack was 15 when Nairo raped him.

>>712864837
last I checked nairo woke up to his dick being sucked without consent

>>712817761
>accident
when will this meme die? its so ignorant

>>712865270
I will never understand people who clearly don't know what the entire situation they're talking about but fervently defend strangers online. If you're over 15, Nairo isn't gonna sleep with you, move on

>>712865270
Imagine trying to defend a pedophile.

>>712865270
>Date a 15 year old
>Share a room with a 15 year old
>Bros I was raped he sucked my dick!
Nah.

>>712864735
> Hax was very opinionated too, but he didn't actively go out of his way to shit on people who disagreed with him. Leffen is downright malicious to anyone who dares suggest he is wrong.
Really funny you should mention that, because what you ascribe to Leffen is exactly what Hax would do and was the source of why he hated Leffen. Back on smashboards, Leffen said Hax was ignorant and misinformed and Hax took that as a personal insult and devoted paragraphs upon paragraphs of hating on him. It was fucking ridiculous and pretty much informed their entire dynamic going forward. Hax could not cope with anyone ever telling him he was wrong, and that habit was with him with Leffen, with all the shenanigans he pulled with the controllers, and with the TOs.

How come you never hear street fighter or tekken players get up to pedophilia or sexual assault? Why only smash and guilty gear?

kekd

>>712864257
There's nothing inherently wrong with it, it's just a product of Ultimate's design flaws. Even though UIltimate is superficially faster, it has the same issues with movement as Brawl and 4: without wavedashing, wavelanding, or characters retaining their momentum when jumping from a run, the risk:reward in neutral heavily favors spamming safe aerials. Ultimate's universal 3f jump squat and high initial vertical velocity on jumps makes this even more appealing. The lack of an execution barrier that affects landing lag also means that even aerials that aren't auto-cancel are just better than grounded attacks a lot of the time. It's just too good of an option and it can make neutral feel one-dimensional.

Admittedly this has gotten better over time as people have gotten better about experimenting with more options, but there are a lot of characters who just win by spamming aerials.

>>712865714
>t. LDF (Leffen Defense Force)
nobody cares, we hate leffen because he's a retard and no amount of unpaid propaganda will change that

>>712866596
this

!hero

bump
I do be pogging at the tournament that killed my close friend 2bh!!

>>712815828 (OP)
Ultimate and Smash 4 fucking suck

>>712866865
and water is wet

>>712815828 (OP)
>Momentum
why does sakurai refuse to add this mechanic back into any of the games? it actually makes the characters fun to control

also add back not being able to grab the ledge while facing away, add back ledge hogging, and remove magnet hands. Too many characters get back to ledge for free nowadays

>>712863673
yes, and you're one of them

>>712866831
Is Jason still in South Africa?

>>712865714
wow, message board shit is totally the same fucking thing as real life plagiarism or abuse.

>>712867583
No, he's living with his parents now.

I don't why smelees piss themselves over link's nair being "broken". Oh what, it has 75 active frames instead of the typical aerial that has 65 active frames? kek. This game is so shit. Also clanking was is literally proto-tripping.

>>712867583
why the fuck would he go to africa
Mew2KANG?!?!

>>712867597
I mean the plagiarism on Hax’s part was pretty well documented.
http://www.dbltap.com/posts/4742326-smash-box-s-recent-struggle-and-the-questionable-origins-of-the-b0xx
https://imgur.com/a/7ec24z7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUrm_dN_Eoo

>>712868343
no shot that chick in the bottom link plays smash

>>712865657
>>712865540
>>712865451
source?

>>712865825
the tournament organizer of the biggest fighting game tournament on the planet literally got outed for paying little boys to show him their dicks

>>712815828 (OP)
I miss when Smash games had this vibe. The new ones feel kind of trans-coded, you know what I mean?

>>712869004
*Raises spork*
I do not.

>>712868947
Did he ever get in legal trouble for that or did he just sell evo and go into hiding until it blew over like all the smashers do?

Do you think Smash 6 is being developed without Sakurai as director?

>>712869376
They feel all soft, and gay and lame. I just don't like it. Melee had this shit like you were hacking all the games together, and it was awesome.

>>712869572
I hope so, give it to someone else. Sakurai had a good run but obviously doesn't care as much anymore.

>>712869572
Sakurai will never let anyone touch his baby.

>>712869887
I'd like to see someone else who is just as passionate about games direct a smash bros but I can't help but feel anyone else would either make a soulless cash grab or kusoge.

>>712856076
Agreed.

>>712837174
Melee is more fun because there is Captain Falcon and Peach for example. Is there anyone like Peach in RoA 2?

>>712837174
I'm not going to play rivals 2 because it's not as good as melee. That is my criteria for playing a smash clone. Is it as good as melee? No? Then why would I play it?

>>712870017
How is that any different than usual?

>>712870780
To be fair, even if a literal perfect Melee 2.0 by Nintendo or Melee HD would release, you and the rest of the tourney scene wouldn't play those either.

>>712870982
We already tried rivals 2 so that already disproves your claim. Also melee players loved pm before that one patch ruined the game and it got banned at tournaments

If Brawl's gameplay was as good as Melee, it would take a fat shit over every other installment in the series. It has the perfect ratio of content.

>>712871318
but Brawl's gameplay IS better than melee's

>>712871318
If Sakurai didn't go into development of brawl with the intention of ruining it for compfags it would've successfully killed melee and that's the game we'd all play today

>>712871405
*trips*

>>712871318
This is part of why P+ is the best one

>>712871623
Prepatch pm is the best one

>>712866865
exactly, is not nostalgia, melee just WAS better

>>712871813
Are you French?

>>712871960
no, I'm puerto rican (sea mexican)

>>712871405
If you play the smash games for fun instead of being a raging autistic compfag who hasn't showered in a decade, sure. But who do you think made and is bumping this thread?

>>712872024
Ah i see. How long does it take you to find matches in slippi?

Unparalleled pedo millennial beacon for 24 years.

>>712872305
The pedos play smash ultimate

>>712853041
cody finally overdoses when he tries popping three full bottles of addies before the next grand finals

>>712872118
I haven't used slippi just the original way

>>712872367
You're all pedos, you coping Meleepedo.

>>712815828 (OP)
It's crazy what the insanely autistic smelly fags did to you retarded drones.
You dont see that anywhere else besides in pokemon.
Though admittedly you disabled man children are probably in large the same group.

>>712872669
>reeee consume current thing
no I don't think I will, I already own the better games

1v1, 99 stocks, max items, poke floats only.
Who's in? Competitivetrannies need not apply

>>712873191
No one plays with max items. They pick and choose which ones are the most fun to play with. Way to out yourself as a larper

>>712815828 (OP)
I went to a Melee club meetup and my community college even though I was an awkward sperg. I stopped going after the first one but it was fun. I probably said some things I shouldn't have but it is what it is. I wish them well.

>>712873616
>I probably said some things I shouldn't have but it is what it is.
What

It's impressive how melee has made /v/ seethe for over 20 years.

>>712873539
Max items as in max spawn rate, you dumb fuck. But while we are at it, all items enabled too. You will have your mr saturn and you will like it

>>712873903
it is unreal how /v/ is all about gameplay is king but when it comes to Nintendo games is suddenly not about gameplay anymore

>>712873948
Peach already has Mr Saturn, poser.

>>712873971
Don't forget the constant old good new bad.

>>712873903
Like that dude said, it's literally because of Nintendo.
TF2 has the same problems as Melee, yet that shit is loved here.

>>712874057
exactly but when is a nintendo game, suddenly the new games are just all masterpieces

>>712873998
Ayooo, that nigga playing peach, LMAO

>selects DK
>picks FD
>chaingrabs ur spacie
>uptaunts
Melee is a good game sometimes.

>>712815828 (OP)
How did you guys feel about Tails finally getting in?

>>712874961
The modders did a poor job making his kit work in melee. None of the moves combo properly and his launches send at weird unusual distances

>>712875680
I think his up smash might actually be worse than Samus's

>>712874216
kek

>>712874961
never was a fan of him but he seems alright

>>712873903
Impressive how you are a faggot

>>712879183
Awww somebody is heckin mad.

Leffen was at CEO? Are they refusing to post his vods or something?
Bump

>>712872087
Brawl's gameplay isn't really fun, even casually speaking. I feel like the characters are all too floating and it takes a while to kill, even at 100%+. Also this a minor thing, but I don't like how Subspace nerf all of the characters' running speed. I want Sonic to go FAST in the levels.

>>712824476
Well one time I kept kicking my friends ass in Melee with Jigglypuff and he started getting legit pissed lol.

>>712881807
are you a cute femboy perchance?

>>712864156
I thought he was banned due to extorting Nairo and Zack to keep his secret?

tweek didnt get banned but salem and samsora did because of white privileged DUH (being a wayyyy better player than both of them also helps)

>>712882513
It's because technicals only mentioned Salem and samsora in his video

>>712815828 (OP)
ICE CLIMBERRSSS I LOVE YOUUUU

Yup

>>712851162
that's completely unique to clairen (marth)
her tippers leave the opponent frozen in time because... she's a time traveler or something idk

>>712881807
are you a fat balding man perchance?