>>712822028 (OP)
Change his name to Dick Suck 'em and have the game be about killing allens by sucking their dicks

I wouldn't......................
........
.
..

Full penetration.

I would redo the first game 1:1 with better graphics, but not "realistic" graphics.
Still use raycaster like levels etc but add more detailed textures and 2D sprites with more resolution and frames.

>>712822028 (OP)
nukem get ipad

Just don't touch Duke Nukem. It's dead and buried and in the current social climate this game can only get worse. There's no way to make him good in 2025.

Balls

>>712822028 (OP)
fill it with zoomer slang and sigma memes

>>712822028 (OP)
chad nukem and its just gigachad vs virgin aliens

>>712822028 (OP)
make it gay about rescuing naked dudes, at least it's an honest death of the franchise unlike duke forever

>>712822028 (OP)
In the beginning of the game hes training a bald and chubby black female how to kill aliens. He gets himself killed in the first couple minutes due to his arrogance, and the black female takes over the franchise . She defeats the alien and even comments on it? "THIS was the big G who killed the MiGhTy duke? Nigga pls"
It turns out that she can do anything much better than Duke, while she uncovers the real story of him. It turns out that Duke was secretly a Nazi who's grandfather was a plantation owner. The game ends with the shero unearthing the Duke-s grave and shooting him in the head.
The game would feature a Battle Royal mode and a bunch of leveled items and guns, would have a lot of RPG-like mechanics. If you would want to follow Lashawnda-s journey, you would have to pay for a Season pass. The game will have its own NFT-market where you could get an uniquely numbered NFT as a reward for your early-access purchase.

>>712823537
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lcy7d2mNODw

>blonde white man who hates aliens, loves guns and wears red apparel

make him a republican voter, alt right nu-gamers would love it

>>712823160
fuck remasters and remakes, but reboots are sometimes fine if they're a completely unique experience albeit

Dukemolition Man where he wakes up in an overly politically correct world.

>>712822028 (OP)
Just copy the nu Doom formula

>>712822028 (OP)
Not in the traditional sense.

Want to trigger SJWs? Make Duke Nukem Forever the most played game on Steam, since it is as anti-woke as possible.

>>712822028 (OP)
duke nukem 3d with more explosions and titties

>>712822028 (OP)
First I'd let some alien scum shoot up his ride.

>>712822028 (OP)
Look at the first levels of Duke 3D and Duke Zero Hour. Cityscape levels, red light districts, with storefronts full of sex puns. References to recent games and throwing them shade (do they even have the testicles to do this anymore?), Secret areas from blowing up cracks in the wall or crawling through vents. Lots of semi-futuristic weapons (complete with a few that humiliate weapons like shrinker and freezer). Coop and deathmatch.

Oh and FUCK 2-gun limits and regenerating health. That ain't Duke, fuck you George.

>>712829318
that could work

It should be so easy to make a succesful Duke game today.
>Boomers will buy it because nostalgia
>Coomers will buy it because it has hot babes
>Zoomers will buy it because there's no political drama or culture war, just good ol shooting
Take everything that made Duke3D great, update the graphics and add fresh stuff

>>712830367
and turn dukeguy into a caricature of himself?

>>712822028 (OP)

>>712822028 (OP)
>reboot
I wouldn't. I'd just make a new Duke that plays like 3D because why the fuck wouldn't you?

>>712831114
I don't trust Gearbox to appeal to coomers (I don't care if Mad Moxxie has cleavage, whoopdie doo). They'd make it woke more than anything, probably have a woman NPC one-up Duke or blueball him because all millennial humor can manage is "le subvert expectations, le Mary sue, le what if woman got le upperhand???"

dump the casino biff tannen trump persona from the 00s era duke and just make him into the guy who's pissed off about his car getting shot up..
to appeal to zoomers have duke be able to save some modern thot archetypes from across the political spectrum. the one thing they all have in common being the hots for duke.

just a sleazy fun FPS comedy about this cool guy who's awesome and into strippers and beer.
I think the mistake Gearbox made with forever was turning Duke into like, this smug asshole that you're supposed to laugh at? Made the humor of the game very cynical and unpleasant. Dook should be absurd, the comedy should come from this ridiculous character who's a well intentioned "Dude" who just wants to hang out and have a good time.

I would have like, a scene where it's a news report of the world peace conference happening at the UN. Duke's there because he just received his second Nobel Peace prize for saving Earth once again.
When the US Speaker has to leave, Duke steps up to the podium accidentally. All eyes are on him. He's representing the US. He just gets the mic and says "Booze, babes, and blowouts". Silence. It looks like everyone is embarassed. But they're all stunned. They start clapping. Then crying. Then hooting and hollering. Duke is SWARMED with applause and the world finally understands how peace can be achieved.

Further in the game, the news report that the "3 B's Party" is a growing movement in america, representing at least 10% of the population in coming election, and they all want Duke to run for president.
We cut to a stripper party at Duke Mansion (which reportedly has been going on for 77 consecutive hours) where a reporter asks:
>"Mr Nukem, are you running with an independent party in this election?"
Duke replies:
>"The only party I'm interested in, is a Wet T-Shirt Party"
we cut back to the news report where the anchors go "Damn... Always so succint"

it should also be borderline pornographic, all female characters have enormous ass and titties, but it's y'know, "played for laughs"

>>712832197
This. Posing with sharks and shit in every picture frame might have been worth a laugh, but it's a lot harder to root for Duke when he's already made it in life and you spend the first part of the game having your nose rubbed in it.
>have duke be able to save some modern thot archetypes from across the political spectrum.
God, no. You actually want to see septum pierced blue-hairs? Fuck that. It should be big titty bimbos and nothing else.

>>712832793
the only way gearbox is going to have panties drop for chad is if they're empowered. that's the breaks.

>>712833607
Which is exactly why I don't want any Duke made by Randy.
>B-but Randy made levels in Duke 3-
Shut it, slimeball. No compromises. Only alpha energy.

>>712831114
>>Coomers will buy it because it has hot babes
even this is a corruption of duke. the original was a gritty exploitation flick where you experienced the savagery of the aliens first hand, the only thing you could do for the brood mothers was leave them to their fate or put them out of their misery.

>>712822028 (OP)
I wouldn't, I'd just make a sequel to DNF that plays more like Duke 3D while incorporating more of the interactive level features that earlier version of DNF were experimenting with.

>>712832670
>the mistake Gearbox made
gearbox had no involvement beyond stapling together the garbage that 3drealms put together

>>712831138
> BALLS AND FUNKOPOPS!
>THOSE ALIEN BASTARDS BLOWED UP MY FUNKOPOP COLLECTION *megadeath.mp3*

>>712829318
duke 2025 KEK