Thread 712898260

We won

@grok is this real

>>712898260 (OP)
You know the drill: post a link.

>>712898274
> Some enterprising hackers have already discovered an exploit on the just-launched Nintendo Switch 2. Bluesky user David Buchanan was the first to show off the exploit, where he apparently discovered a weakness in the console’s shared library.

This vulnerability, called a userland Return-Oriented Programming exploit, allows Buchanan to manipulate a program by overwriting its return address to another piece of code. When chained together, this can force the system to work in an unintended manner — in this case, display custom checkerboard graphics.

can it fix consoles that got flagged already?

>>712898260 (OP)
you just killed nintendo you fucking piece of shit. i hate you all

Based
Fuck nintendo

>>712898353
Jack fucking shit, let me know when I can replace the entire OS with something more efficient.

@NINTENDO @FBI @PRIDEMONTH @STEPHENCOLBERT

>>712898260 (OP)
@Nintendo @FBI @CIA @TalibanPR DO SOMETHING PLEASE

>>712898274
Why is there always some mouthbreather asking "uhh grok can you think for me?!".

>>712898260 (OP)
@NintendoAmerica
@FBI

I haven't played a single Nintendo game since I was 12 (Twilight Princess on my brother's PC) but I want their shitty proprietary Jewish console exclusivity to be cracked so their worshippers have a meltdown.

>>712898274
No. It's not real you gullible twat

>>712898260 (OP)
Does this guy have Parkison's?

Good god, the highest selling console launch in history really broke you people

>user space exploit
It's nothing.

>>712898260 (OP)
>its fake
OP why are you like this?
Unironically what causes you to do this?

>no inputs
There's a youtube app, you know.

>>712898434
@grok please explain this anon's question as a black man with a thick Atlanta accent

>>712898509
Didn't one of the Linus Sex Tips crew cover it already?

>>712898527
Shut up nigger

>>712898260 (OP)
>Parkinsonsfag cant keep phone still
>keeps bopping in and out
"yeah lets trust this guy!"
>hes a bluesky user
"YEAH LETS TRUST THIS GUY!"

>>712898260 (OP)
https://x.com/SwitchTools/status/1933983775957889484

Neck yourself, faggot.

>>712898439
Not gonna happen, retard.

>>712898353
Shouldn't you wait a few months so many people get the V1 then disclose the hack so even if Nintendo patches it many are still able to do it? Now they're just going to replicate that and fix it by next month

Don't be fooled by "BlueNX" / "Deadkernel"
It makes you think there's a "CFW" on Switch 2, but it's totally fake.

“hbt Extended memory region allocated (4096MB total)”: This suggests that the device uses 4GB of RAM. This could correspond to a hypothetical Switch 2, but memory management in Atmosphere or homebrew isn't done that way (this message is made up).

“Boot sequence completed in 4.06s”: Too precise and unrealistic. These logs seem aesthetic but not from a real system.

“hbt Homebrew ABI v15 compatible”: This statement is false - the ABI version of hbl (Homebrew Loader) never used this public scheme.

The colors used (pink, cyan, green, yellow...) are reminiscent of a stylized display designed to impress, not a raw console display typical of a bootloader (like Atmosphere's Rocket).

This reinforces the idea of a mockup or fan-made project (possibly under Linux or via emulation).

Why is it that people seethe about Nintendo exclusives most of all? Is it just poor people?

Seriously how fucking hard is it to just not move the camera
Just hold it still
Just stand there and don't do anything
Fucking spastics man

>>712898641
Yup. That's what the hackers did with the 3DS and the Switch, so that a lot more consoles and firmwares would have the exploit.
Most likely this exploit is so simple that the hackers expected it to be discovered by other people quickly.

>>712898641
There's already so many that's already been manufactured. Plus a new hardware revision would still be a long time away

>>712898713
When they (the sonygroes) have no games, they get mad at people who do, their system that prevents them from stealing them, and the fun everyone else is having.

>>712898260 (OP)
>hacked
It's fucking nothing btw

>>712898718
Proof that it isn't being faked
But that just makes it seem more like they're trying to prove it isn't faked meaning it is faked

@FBI @CIA @CobraTate @JordanPeterson @POTUS @Pontifex @Nintendo DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>712898439
seems like you're the one having a meltdown for not getting your own, you faggot jew

>>712898804
>Proof that it isn't being faked
read the thread nigger.
>>712898623
>>712898671

>>712898641
>enterprise hackers
Mesns they rat this shit out to Nintendo instantly for some dosh

>>712898623
>unironically telling others to kill themselves
>while he licks the dog shit off of nintendos shoes

Cant make this shit up. You're a lost cause.

>>712898260 (OP)
Good mockup, many retards will fall for it.

Let me guess, it's a proprietary solution with DRM

>>712898671
>“Boot sequence completed in 4.06s”: Too precise and unrealistic.
What?
I don't get it.
Can any tech bro explain to me how this is unrealistic?
Should it instead be 4.xx92&a^ seconds-ish?

>hack a nintendo console
>go to jail and become nintendo's finslave for live
or
>become an embedded systems dev
>buy nintendo consoles with your lunch money

>>712898876
he's telling you to kys for telling lies
fucking got my hopes up and everything

>>712898870
>implying Nintendo will pay them for disclosing a hack and not immediately call the police on them

>>712898876
You're fishing for (you)s because you hate a toy company, kind of hypocritical.

>>712898932
Not me i didnt write any of those posts.
And the only ones who should kill themselves are die hard tendies

>>712898969
>Brain dead tendies keep assuming
Picrel: do it

>>712898713
I just want all games to be available on PC. If they crack the Switch, this brings me another step closer.

>>712898876
Their games make me happy. I want them to continue making things I like. Simple as. Go fuck yourself.

>>712899068
would you help fund their patreon?

>>712898991
>>712899067
you dont get to NTAfag your way out of this
You said something retarded, it doesnt matter if you were the orignial anon or not, you still said something retarded and deserve to be shamed for defending or siding with some retarded OP fishing for (You)s in a way that makes it even plausible you were the same guy.
its pathetic.

>>712899114
He is a poorfag so no

>>712899210
Says the faggot licking nintendos asshole

>>712898260 (OP)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH NO NO NO IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE UNHACKABLE LE VOLTAGE READING WILL BRICK KEKAROO

>>712898951
Every company has bounty programs dingus

>>712898260 (OP)
>userland exploit
>no root/kernel exploit

>>712899374
Not him but: Yeah, but Nintendo is notorious for not paying out their bounties.

>>712898260 (OP)
Why bother?
Means you can't connect online with it or they will brick your console, so you can't even play first party games.
Just buy a steam deck.

>>712898641
He isn't showing what he did to exploit it but you are right, this is enough information possibly for Nintendo to track it down and fix it. People are so desperate for clout they'll kill homebrew chances to score internet points and fame. This is why this limited hack is going to go nowhere. Userland is easy to exploit but making it stick with a kernel exploit is going to be hard and when Nintendo is reusing what they did in the Switch 1 for the core kernel, I doubt the differences between Switch 2 is going to mean it gets compromised. Most likely, the only way this gets hacked is if the Chinese come up with something via a modchip and that sucks and says a lot about the state of things with tech hacking in the West.

no no no no NOno WTF NO this wasn't supposed to happen.

you fucking poorfags have ruined this console already?! wtf is wrong with you people i hope you get fucking banned and sued, possibly arrested, by nintendo and the law.

>>712898776
What are you even seething about? Another sony funded PS5 game just landed on steam and became a bestseller. Tendie brainrot is real.

>>712899604
my pc cost more than your car lmao

>>712899517
None of the Nintendo operating systems have a "core kernel" they're all microkernels. You have to find an exploit in every single microkernel module to get access to the whole of it.

Just get a Deck

>>712899754
after the law and nintendo are done with you you won't be able to afford anything you fucking hacker freak.

>>712898439
Not very based of you, LuneBro.

>>712899318
>REEE REEEE REEEE
thats all im hearing.
Go to bed, zoomerfaggot.

>>712898260 (OP)
>your unhackable Switch 2, saar

>>712898260 (OP)
Fake as fuck
>>712898353
ROP is useless
On the switch/switch 2 you have to compromise the kernel to do anything useful, and you can't even directly communicate with most shit on the system that would actually allow a kernel compromise to happen, so in practice you have to compromise three services in a row to get the necessary privilleges

>>712898439
>>712899909
>i want joos to die
>posts image from a jewish game

>>712898439
>Posting E33 mud covered shit
oof. Sweaty, we don't care about your game.

>>712898641
Nope. Anyone that says you should is retarded. People will just tell nintendo and your time is wasted. When you tell other hackers there are usable exploits then more come to help. The actual decent exploits always stay hidden, these ROP never are much to care for.

>>712899795
Microkernel is a OS design choice. It's not them using a different kernel for each system which isn't what is happening, Switch 1 and 2 are obviously doing a lot of code sharing. Switch 2 will just include things more specific to its hardware like what it uses for mouse mode and remove things Switch 1 had it doesn't need like IR camera support. Microkernels make this easier to do.

>>712898260 (OP)
ok? still not buying, heck haven't even touched the first one.

@grok call the FBI

>>712900479
I think you misunderstood me, but you're right man.
I'm just saying it's harder to take over the whole "kernel" when it's a microkernel.
Also the Switch (and the Wii U as well I think)'s OS has two layers of modules with different permission leveles, although only one module actually has full system access, and the other layers need go through either a lower level module, or the one that has full access. Only the lower level modules can talk to that one.
It's been a while since I've read up on this so the details are a bit fuzzy.

>>712899926
Kys shill. No seriously.

>>712898260 (OP)
Oh my shigeru miyamoto

So long as you never connect your switch 2 to the internet, you should be able to hack it if a vulnerability is ever found right?

>>712900752
Connecting your switch 2 to the internet is not optional, it forces you to connect to the internet and update on initial setup
So to be exact, you need to connect it once and sign into a nintendo account, then turn airplane mode on permanently

>game launcher
Crushing defeat for switch 2 haters, it apparently has games now.

>>712900752
i doubt there will be any real hardware exploit like paperclip hax again.

your best bet is someone making a migswitch2 or r4 clone that bypasses the switch 2 software check.

>>712900923
if theres no hardware exploit then thats the only way and you probably gotta avoid firmware updates. barely anyone will do that so if it happens those switches will be worth quite a lot id imagine

>>712901114
without any real kernel exploit then the switch 2 scene is only limited to piracy of games via physical cart emulation rather than homebrew hacks.

>>712901506
yeah but if one is ever found nintendo will patch it quick or might find it on their own, so switches with outdated firmware will have that benefit. it does seem unlikely though ofc

>>712898260 (OP)
no way

>>712898671
holy cope lmao

nintendosisters are done for

>>712901506
even physical cart emulation, we also have problem with the game keycard... i don't know how people can dump game data from gamekey card without exploit the switch 2

Tick tock

>>712898776
how the turns have tabled

now the switch has no games

>>712902008
you can backup games to sd card i think but theyre encrypted. if someone can deencrypt the game card game data and repackage it for a regular game cart maybe it would work

>>712898260 (OP)
I love playing Nintendo games for free

>>712901506
there will always be modchips, but soldering is the great filter.

>>712900923
Just give it time. There is no perfect system. Either people will eventually find one or Nintendo will eventually open one in a botched update (see crowtstrike oopsie).

Would pcbeggars still be this desperate for Nintendo games if PC actually had games?

>>712898439
>I haven't played a single Nintendo game since I was 12 (Twilight Princess on my brother's PC)
And when did that happen? During Covid when classes were online?

People don't care about pirating games after they've already spent an obscene amount of money on this piece of shit.
>$500 console
>80-$90 games
>$90 controller replacements
>even more for SD cards so you can store more than a couple games at once
Let us know how likely/far off an emulator is.

>>712904251
You're right. The PC has less games than the Switch 2.

>>712900808
>Connecting your switch 2 to the internet is not optional, it forces you to connect to the internet and update on initial setup
no it doesn't

>>712898641
Hackers don't give a fuck about distributing it so more people can enjoy it.
They only want the clout of discovering it first.

Keeps getting closer every day and tendies still lose their minds over nothing burgers ahahaha

Snoys are the single demographic that will psyop themselves about a situation, PRETEND they never did such a thing, play both sides to create a narrative that the other side is le mad, invariably get proven wrong, then do
>>712904960
"Well, it doesn't really matter guise!!!"
And >>712905878
"Hahaha I was just pretending to be retarded"
Take your meds.

>>712899068
>I just want all games to be available on PC
PC has nothing but downsides, cheaters, poorfags

>>712904251
The average pcmasterrace don't even have a PC, they got a phone they use to emulate games on.

>>712898260 (OP)
>no source
>not instructions
>no specifics
>it's fucking nothing
Wow thanks OP

>>712906056
You first <3

>>712898260 (OP)
HACK THE PLANET

Can't wait to emulate the next Fire Emblem game in Ryujinx Reloaded™

>>712898641
but dude, think of the internet (You)'s!

Pcpoors really falling for this b8 post LOL!

>>712898260 (OP)
Why the fuck is he moving the camera like he’s filming some tiktok rave? Just fucking point the camera at the screen and hold still. Why is that so fucking difficult?

>>712898260 (OP)
So now what? Easier emulation? I ain't buying this shit.

>>712898353
>ROP
Literal nothingburger then. But if I was the hacker I'd grift hard on patreon/youtube for donations form plebs who think the Shtitch 2 is hacked.

The villains have won if it's been hacked.

This is fake btw. It's a video being played on the switch.
The text on the screen is nonsense on the level of what you'd see in a TV show about epic hackers

>>712898924
how about
>become system security engineer
>hack a nintendo console you bought with your lunch money

>>712911621
third worlders are retarded

>>712898641
Yes, correct. But crackers, like usual, are retards and don't let the hardware permeate before releasing their cracks to where Nintendo can't catch them all.

Meanwhile the chaddest of the idorts don't give a fuck, me included. Getting a Switch 2 as soon the next Zelda drops if its any good.

is lite hackable yet?

>>712898482
Autism causes people to rock back and forth.

Why do they restrict access so damn hard in this day and age?
I buy a laptop and it allows me to install any operating system I want and do whatever the goddamn fuck I please. I'm not even bound by Microsoft, even if there's a license in there. Even if there's hardware that Microsoft takes advantage of for shit like hardware attestation.
But I buy a console like the Switch 2 and I can do absolutely nothing other than play the games I purchase through -their- store. There's no sideloading anything. There's no competition, other than physical. At best you can buy keys for digital games from shady sites. Why do people love this experience so much? What can you even do online without a subscription in there? It's asphyxiating.

>>712914016
PCs are an open platform. That was one of the biggest points of competition against Apple, which is why PC dominates. Consoles are closed platforms, designed to be consistent and easy. If you play a game on your Switch 2, you won't have a markedly worse experience than someone else who plays the same game on their Switch 2.

>>712899093
Their games are shit. You deserve to suffer.

>>712898260 (OP)
@FBI
@NintendoofAmerica
@MI6
@GIGN
@GSG9
DO SOMETHING

>>712914016
Despite the switch 2 having the equivalent of a 1050ti in it, because it's a tablet, it's still being sold at a loss. The point is to get you to their gaming ecosystem so they can make profit selling you overpriced and shitty videogames

>>712898260 (OP)
and in record time too. I don't think Nintendo will be able to keep it together after this.

>>712914695
but my PC can already run tendie games. Why do I need a tendie console?

>>712898260 (OP)
How many tendies are going to kill themselves?

>>712914695
Man I wish I could understand ecosystemfags.
My friend buying a fucking macbook air because she has an iPhone and having a meltdown over how weird is to handle over your average PC with windows, but still, still ends up buying more Apple hardware because muh ecosystem. God it's so hard to sync up some notes without Apple behind it I guess.

>>712898260 (OP)
Imagine if PCfags spent the time wasted pining for a Switch 2 exploit on playing their own exclusives instead.

>>712914016
Microsoft profits off every copy of Windows sold, even if the first thing you do after buying a laptop is wipe the SSD and install Linux they've already made their money. Not to mention they have to deal with keeping 30 year old programs working through backwards compatibility, and any attempts to lock things down would break those and their enterprise customers (where the real money is) would raise holy hell.
Nintendo and the other console manufacturers lose money on every console sold, then make it back by selling their own software and through licensing fees paid by third parties. They need to keep their monopoly on software distribution because without that they'd not only be losing a massive chunk of their revenue but would have to sell their consoles at their real price, and nobody wants to pay $700 for a Switch 2. It's the same reason why Apple has been fighting tooth and nail against allowing people to sideload apps onto iPhones.

>712915076
>Imagine if PCfags spent the time wasted pining for a Switch 2 exploit on playing their own exclusives instead.
First of all Switch 2 has no games

Second, we are doing just fine thanks

>>712900958
>easily debooooooooonks it
>gets ignored

>>712914991
Most tendies are retards and actual children to whom downloading and running third party software is black magic.

>>712915245
people don't care if it's fake, they only want to "dunk on the tendies"

>>712898671
Damage Control: The Post

>>712915076
We have exclusives.

>>712898260 (OP)
>Gets immediately bricked the moment you boot it up while it's unconnected to your PC

>>712914016
Piratefag whining that he can't play games for free. Cry moar, dipshit.

>>712914449
I'm not suffering though, I'm having fun. Seethe and cope, shitstain.

>>712898260 (OP)
@FBI @Biden @Trump

>>712915014
Hopefully all of them.

>>712915235
I look like this.

>>712915235
>>712917728 looks like this.

>>712915235
>too cowardly to reply
>unwarranted selfie
>no games mentioned
>>712915875
>claims to have exclusives
>no games mentioned
Got it. Another day of seething over Nintendo it is then.

>>712898260 (OP)
Cool, might buy it then

Yet another fake Switch 2 hack.

Damn the thirst is real.

>>712918261
Every Switch game at 4k. Only PC does that. That makes it exclusive.

>>712918540
>Every Switch game at 4k. Only PC does that.

Kek PC fatty playing the inferior versions

THE SWITCH 2 HACK PROLIFERATION MUST STOP!

UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER NOW!!

>>712898274
@GORK IZ DIS TRU?

>>712914991
Switch 2 doesn't and won't have an emulator any time soon, so how exactly are you going to play new games on PC?

>>712918618
>1080p
What's going on in that thumbnail?

>>712898373
good

>>712914991
>my PC can already run tendie games

Kek'd

>>712898373
Tendie xisters, I don't feel so good

>>712898260 (OP)
ARREST HIM!

>>712918871
PC fatties live like this.

>>712918871
It's not april 2023 anymore retard

Could I make a patreon claiming to be working on a switch hack?
I would use ai images to fake everything

This is like the 4th SWITCH IS HACKED I've seen, why should I believe this when the others were fake?

>>712898671
>“Boot sequence completed in 4.06s”: Too precise and unrealistic. These logs seem aesthetic but not from a real system.
computers operate on nanoseconds at the very least

>>712904960
>450 bucks is an “obscene” amount
How poor are you?

>>712898910
He's just stupid, at least for that point, pic rel is from my desktop boot logs, as you can see it is far more specific than x.y seconds.

>>712904960
I'd buy the console if I could hack it, same reason I bought a launch model switch 1. Download and play all their games for free.
>oh yuzu/ryujinx
they crashed sometimes and the quality differed. Some games like Dread ran great, other games not so much. I'm gonna buy a launch model Switch 2 and wait for it to be truly hacked too

I bought a Wii and hacked it
I bought a Wii U and hacked it

I barely played them. I took me a while to realize that I just don't like nintendo kiddie bing bing wahoo games. I also had a hacked PS3 but I just keep playing PC games.