Thread 713127054

>Holy
appointed by the Pope
>Roman
contains most of Italy
>Empire
it has an elected emperor

>>713127054 (OP)
this kills the greek

>>713127054 (OP)
>appointed by the Pope
False prophet.
>contains most of Rome
Does not contain and has never contained Rome. Most of its territory is north of the Danube which was considered the historical upper bound of Rome for most of Rome's existence beyond which were Barbarian lands
>it has an elected emperor
Emperors are not typically elected and it's territory either on par or smaller than your average Kingdom.

>>713128685
Oh, don't like it? Well just recover sicily, magna graecia, and epirus then.

>>713128981
bro just take Rome and make it your capital if you wanna call yourself Rome

>>713127054 (OP)
Soulful map

>>713129078
You get coronated in Rome, but work in Memleben silly.

can't wait to discover what little silly opm meme nations in the hre we will get for eu5

>>713127054 (OP)
For me? It's great empire of Julich-Cleves-Berg.

>>713127054 (OP)
Sounds like cope.
It never even contained Rome.

>>713130601
Frisian Freedom

>>713127054 (OP)
>Pope
Catholics are a sect not actual Christians.
>Italy
lol, bastards of raped Italians and cave dwelling Krauts.
>Empire
Even bigger lol

>>713127054 (OP)
Its retarded to include all these shitzenpanzer tier village nations.
Other than the big players the entire Empire should just be abstracted away. Nothing interesting ever happened in the nation of 'Fulda'. So why include it at all?
Remove these DEI Euro pandering wastes of time.

>>713132936
did you cry when they added a billion shithole indians in north america or made up aboriginal nations (oxymoron) to fill up ausfailia in eu4? no? then stfu

>>713133132
I did complain.
But worse than adding them after release where they can be modded out easily, these worthless shitholes are a fundamental mechanic in the game that can't be done away with even if 90% of the Empire does nothing the entire game but cause lag.

>>713133214
>I complained but ackshually adding brown people is okay!
nice try

>>713133271
You can download a 'delete america' mod right now and fix that mistake.
There is nothing you can do about the game simulating fucking Bamberg for 400 years and wasting your CPU cycles the entire time.

>>713128685
>and it's territory either on par or smaller than your average Kingdom
It literally includes multiple kingdoms. Bohemia, Prussia, Lombardy, Austria, Bavaria, etc.

>>713133346
Just annex them, you're competent enough to do that right? Or you only play in reddit approved regions like the moluccas and japan?

>>713133528
>German "Kingdoms" smaller than American counties
lol

>>713133567
>conquer half of europe and deal with AE spam until you unlock OP late game casus belli or deal with 500 shithole germoid nations wasting processing power

>>713132936
The sad thing is that a tiny German village probably had a bigger impact on human progress than entire continents outside of Europe.

>>713133678
>no I'm not competent enough
well that's a skill issue then innit

>>713133617
>American county is nothing but empty space that nobody even lived until the past couple centuries
Wow so impressive. Call me up when you have some castles or cathedrals that weren't made using concrete and drywall.

How do I have fun with these games? I didn't study History in school because ih seemed lame next to chemistry

>>713127054 (OP)
i miss the HRE.

>>713133821
Call me up when you go to the moon.

>>713133892
chemistry drove me nuts. i didnt study at all and had no idea how to balance in like grade 11 chemistry(lmao) and somehow got 90% on a quiz by jsut guessing. some retards were clamoring after asking me to help them study so they could retake it. as far as having fun with these games, i personally think total war is way better than CK or EU4 or any paradox style game. paradox is too macro heavy with none of the detail that total war does. but dont get me wrong, total war has tons of problems too, mostly the opposite problems of paradox games. there are good medieval overhaul mods for rome 2 and attila if your more into the tactical stuff, battles and what not. otherwise you should probably stick to crusader kings.

>>713133892
What the other anon said. If you can't sink time into CK2 and enjoy eating shit until you figure it out, these games aren't for you.

>>713128685
> Emperors are not typically elected
Anon they're mimicking the late Roman Empire and how those Emperors were often elected. By blade or by vote

>>713133821
>empty space
bro doesnt appreciate the endless nature. thank god the natives were primitive as fuck otherwise they probably wouldve ruined the continent before we got here.

>>713131919
Are you Orthadox or some insane protestant

>>713127054 (OP)
I'm really excited for this game. I can't even play EU4 anymore. While there looks to be a lot of flavor too, even without flavor, this game looks like it has enough content to be entertaining for months. Finding some obscure tiny nation with a rare religion that might even have mechanics, playing as bankers and conspiring to take over the world, becoming so rich you royally fuck up entire regions of trade, escaping to the new world as a random duke, straight up colonizing inappropriate places because you are astronomically stronger than them, forming bizarre hybrid abominations, gathering a monopoly on critical goods and refusing to share, getting the plague and going full nurgle on your enemies, depopulating regions and enslaving others. So many possibilities...

>>713134230
>mimicking the late Roman Empire and how those Emperors were often elected.
What are you talking about?

>>713131919
>I tell you, on the day of judgment people will render an account for every careless word they speak. By your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.

Colonizing France as Yuan would be really funny. I hope strategies to get over there as soon as possible are created quickly after release.

Where we dropping, boys?

>>713127054 (OP)
And what's wrong with that?

>>713135274
GOLDEN HORDE
>OOOOOUUUAUAUAUAAUUUUUUUUUAAAAAA

>>713135274
Golden Horde and Ethiopia

>>713127054 (OP)
>holy
in opposition to the pope for most of its history
>Roman
its nearly entirely composed of non-roman germanic lands and its founder was not roman but a germanic
>Empire
it was completely decentralised enough that the emperor had little power compared to his vassals.

>>713135274
Ifat

>>713135274
Philippines seem like they could be chill. I wonder if remnants of that empire Cebu came from are still around.

>>713133892
It's a niche genre. You'll either enjoy it, or get bored to tears.

>>713135274
The fuck is this splotch?

>>713127054 (OP)
The pope putting the crown on the ""emperor"" was also political move that screwed Charlemange over, because it means the power and authority of the 'empire' came from the pope. If Charlemange decider to crowned himself instead, it meant the power and authority came from himself

There's a reason Napoleon took the crown directly in the ceremony to crown himself to avoid a repeat of that debacle

>>713135940
The Iroquois?

>>713133892
By fucking around and having daughter wives

>>713135863
I think the only thing that filters people is that you have to play around some to learn it. I'm sure many could enjoy the game if they took the time to learn it, even your sister or grandma. Leading a country to success is like a primal urge.

>>713136042
Ohhhhhhhhh. It looked like the color of the great lakes and I thought it was some forgotten lake from before we colonized the new world.

>>713136168
That would actually be kinda neat. Where the map in foreign lands looks all weird and otherwordly because it's based on stories and not actual exploration.

>>713135683
Haha u fat

>>713136143
>daughter wives
This is only possible in CK3 though and partially through mods if you want the full experience. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think this will be possible in EU5 since characters take a backseat here. I'm sure someone will eventually mod CK3 like mechanics into the game though if they don't come by dlc. EU5 is still primarily a country game though. You have vassal-PUs instead.

>>713136229
I mean there easily could have been one ages upon ages ago. We know the land of earth has changed significantly over the ages. Maybe there was some old great lake somewhere in west Illinois and then sometime between the 1000s and late 15th century it dried up, and the lake bed was already greened out into another stretch of prairie.


That or maybe the Iroquois could have a better color to not fool my eyes.

>>713135940
Cahokia.

>>713136154
Let's be honest, I'm not a patient anon for it. I want to be able to do stuff on my first run or else I'll probably get frustrated and move on.

I've tried to play CK3 and I just burn out most of the time. Total Warhammer 3 I did better with once they added Elspeth and gave me an incentive for all the fun gunplay stuff. Also the Dwarfs.

Why did they have to fuck up Victoria 3 so bad? Did they really think the fans of 2 wanted something radically different?

>>713131919
>>713131919
> "And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it".

Yawn

>>713127054 (OP)
It doesn't even have rome.

>>713136537
To be fair, CK3 is busy work compared to most Paradox games with all of its personal roleplay shit. I'd say that Victoria 3, while a bit confusing, is the more laid back one as it is pretty hard to actually die in the game and you essentially just focus on making numbers go up and intimidating other nations for land. EU4 is pretty easy once you learn it, but definitely is a bit confusing and sometimes busy due to its age. I feel like EU5 will be the best for you when it comes out though. They have automation features for all of the mechanics you may not feel like immediately learning how to be a pro at. If you play on release, you'll also be at a similar level to everyone else (while knowledge between Paradox games can carry, EU5 looks like it will have a lot of new things to get used to).

>>713136869
The city of Rome? Rome stopped being relevant to the Roman Empire a thousand years before this point.

>>713136969
I appreciate it, but I'll stick to Total Warhammer 3. Also I do own Stellaris and want to really get into that one.

>>713136672
I'm pretty sure they have decided to let Europa and Stellaris be their more mechanically serious games (or as serious as it can get in Stellaris' case), while the others cater to other demographics. CK3 appeals to roleplayers, Hoi4 appeals story lovers, and Vic3 appeals to people who like clicking buttons?

I'm still pissed off over the recently announced faction mechanics for Hoi4, even if the naval rework coming alongside it looks great.

>>713136792
>church fractures into a million sects anyway

>>713137291
>Vic3 appeals to people who like clicking buttons
Victoria 3 appeals to no one.
It doesn't appeal to Vicky II players.
It doesn't appeal to EU IV and HoI IV players.
It doesn't appeal to CK2/CK3 players.
A game dead on arrival.

>>713131919
>protestants be like, Catholics are wrong but let's use catholic writings as the base

>>713137184
I'd absolutely recommend getting into Stellaris. It is not that hard to learn in a way that lets you at least have fun. I'd also consider it one of the more fun Paradox games as it is essentially a sandbox that allows mechanics for all kinds of interesting scenarios. Other than that, you can essentially larp as nearly any sci-fi or fantasy trope you can think of or even try to emulate historical things in space. If you feel you are struggling, I'd recommend just watching some YouTuber play it. You can learn a lot about what to do in Paradox games by watching videos and emulating what they do a lot, it is sort of like art in that way. The only part I find really annoying in Stellaris is setting up an empire at the beginning and thinking of the perfect civilization I want to try to build. But there are a lot of premade empires you can choose from that even may have a bit of unique flavor separate from the stuff provided by game mechanics and traits.

>>713137571
>We should be MORE Puritan than the Catholics, that'll show 'em!
>Now if you'll excuse us, we're off to define the United States for the next 100 or so years

see where that got us.

>>713127054 (OP)
Someone redpill me on this HRE hating meme. Is it LARPagans we wuzzing?

>>713127054 (OP)
Imagine sweeping through there conquering multiple countries in a week.

>>713137757
>germans = white = le bad
>greeks = brown = le good
thats literally it

>>713137913
Like nearly every Reddit "joke"
These people are very hateful

>>713137757
I think it's just map makers generationally pissed off at having to try to accurately draw EVERY SINGLE COUNTY in the HRE.

They probably had a big party when it was dissolved in the early 19th century.

>>713137757
It was only functipnal for like 70 years, and then a mess for the rest of the 900 years it existed.

>>713134669
christfags lmao

>>713136792
The church is one until Patriarch of Rome start getting too big an ambition and break off from the other 4

>>713134669
>>713138056
>me explaining to God it was just shitposting

>>713138056
God is life, existence, happiness, goodness, etc. You only go to Hell when you reject him (these things) and it is because Hell is obliteration. You essentially cease existing by strongly refusing to exist, giving in to the death drive.

>>713133892
It helps to have an overactive autismo's imagination with these games. Like imagining how the wikipedia page for your empire is going to look, or your soldiers committing war crimes and shit after capturing a big city.

>>713135274
Japan

>>713139202
He wouldn't comprehend it even if you explain it to him as if he was a child.

>>713141672
Based

>>713133132
I personally wrote a script that deletes all of those meme tags from the game. It's weird because even after doing that, the few north american native american tags I left behind still owned half the continent. I don't know what the fuck paradox did over there, they've overhauled it so many times and it's never not been fucked

Is this iteration of the game going to have random african or pacific one province minors have modern cannon and infantry tech like EU4 had?

>>713142775
This is what it looks like for reference, the proto-iroquois I left behind end up forming an actual Iroquois blob and colonize(?) all over the place, it's weird
At least removing the Ainu tag fixes the problem of steppe blobs invading Japan every game

>>713143038
I really hope it doesn't, I hate that shit. There should be avenues for the player, but the AI should rarely if ever pursue them. I also hate it in Vic3 too. It irks the shit out of me finally making it to lake Victoria, only to find that the guys there have been making steel and artillery for some reason and that the states are some of the richest in the game. I hope the fact that they represent a lot of the primitives differently governmentwise means that they won't advance so quick without outside help. I also hope they won't bend when people complain "but it's too hard!!!" like they did with the Ottoman and Chinese content in the later EU4 dlc. Also reminds me of how they straight up lied about how much content EU4 had. I won't complain though because I'll probably drop it for the shiny new game anyway.

>>713127054 (OP)
>take a tiny bit of land from italy
>entire europe immediately declares war on you
fine
>beat the crap out of ottoman
>demand more than half of their land
>entire europe immediately declares war on you

>>713144519
The secret is to get espionage ideas and only buy the first two ideas. Then wait for the random idea group event that gives you -20% AE on top of that. If you're catholic become the curia controller too. You get up to like -75% AE reduction. I ate most of Italy as the pope in a few years and nobody cared.

>>713127054 (OP)
I cant wait to dismantle that HRE, and convert all those opms to Orthodox.

>>713144629
it was many years ago, probably around the same time where there's an exploit that let you form HRE in 20 years.

>>713144649
This but for Islam. Berlin will be full of Mehmets 400 years early, inshallah.

>>713127054 (OP)
>>Roman
>contains most of Italy
It was never about that
It was about keeping the roman traditions, culture, and institutions
Thats why the ERE is rightfully the ERE, but the turks are just dirty browns, despite ruling the same land

Holy Roly Poly

>>713143038
I washed my hands of euiv when they added an African nation literally called “Da Homiez” who could hire all female mercenaries.

>>713135274
It is kind of interesting they left out the Mississippian culture as a potential nation. I assume it is because there isn't enough known?

>>713141672
>explodes into daimyos
I feel like it won't be as comfy as it looks on the 1337 map.

>>713145497
To be fair, they did imply you could prevent it. I'm sure it will be hard though as it would be lame as hell if Japan didn't have Sengoku Jidai most games.

>>713135940
Mississippian civilization. They built cool mounds

>>713127054 (OP)
adolescence is thinking like dominic sandbrook that it was
>neither holy, nor roman nor an empire
while adulthood is realizing tom holland was right all along that
>it was holy
>it was roman
>it was an empire

>>713127054 (OP)
>>>/trash/

>>713145641
Tom Holland said that? It reminds me of Sydney Sweeney saying that the crusades were justified.

>>713135274
France

>>713145489
completely dead by game start date

>>713127054 (OP)
>contains most of Italy
did it contain rome? no? shut the fuck up then.

>>713135274
1 of 2 options:
>Wurzburg because muh ancestors :DDD
>Cyprus or one of the crusaders, trying to restore Jerusalem

>>713145882
it contained the late capital of rome (milan) and the ruler of rome (the pope) also gave the emperor his legitimacy

>>713132936
Honestly this, we really don't need all that boat considering how fucking badly it already runs.

>>713127054 (OP)
Still not as detailed as modded EU4 HRE

>>713137757
The HRE was a dysfunctional abomination, also byzaboos are a strong cohort in Paradox games.
>>713137913
I'm sure what byzaboos like about unfucking the ERE isn't the unique sociopolitical structure, Greco-Roman legacy, intrigue and technology like the cataphracts, Greek fire or magazine crossbows, and being the bulwark at the borders of Europe, but that they're "brown", when their enemies are browner Turks and Arabs, you dense motherfucker.

>>713133892
>Tfw I spent most classes reading and flicking through my history textbook and history books I got from the library
I pulled heaps of pussy trust me

>>713137571
>I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me
Notice how he never added "and the pope btw"

>>713147796
>The HRE was a dysfunctional abomination
>ERE isn't the unique sociopolitical structure, Greco-Roman legacy, intrigue and technology like the cataphracts, Greek fire or magazine crossbows, and being the bulwark at the borders of Europe
kys deranged byztranny

>>713135274
Test Strip

>>713147943
You misunderstood.
HRE is dysfunctional in the "this should have split into centralized kingdoms after the Liudolfingers" way
ERE is dysfunctional in the "I could have fixed him" way

>>713147943
>Paradox wants to focus on historical simulation and no countries will have alt history content on release.... except byz
byzLORDS BROKE you

>>713148289
HRE being le dysfunctional is a retarded reddit meme.
>>713148442
Austria is a Tier 1 country, byz only Tier 2, cope.