Thread 714106218

>artist gf mostly doesn't pay attention while I'm gaming
>meet this guy
>"Oh who's that"
>quit game

>weeks later, she's acting shady, hiding her notebooks when I enter the room
>pretend not to notice but peek at them when she's at work
>pages and pages of Halsin lewds
no no no NO NO NO NO NO

>>714106218 (OP)
You gave her an internet crush, that's cute.

>>714106218 (OP)
I don't even help Shadowheart escape the nautiloid anymore
I stand and watch her pound on the pod, and I say outloud "You know what you did." Then I turn and leave.
Halsin? Dies in the goblin cages. And then I restart. I have done this around 30 times now.

I will never forget what you took from me Halsin.

>its been well over a year
>single player narrative focused game has released, swept GOTY, been a once-in-a-decade hit
>as with all things in the modern world, the content cycle has moved on
>one seething /pol/cel still posting gay halsin cuckold fantasies

>>714106218 (OP)
why are all the female characters great but the male characters are complete faggots or boring except Minsc

>>714106484
lmao cuck

>>714106218 (OP)
Why does this guy spend like 20 hours eating my food and doing nothing before joining my party?

>>714106218 (OP)
How much weight on the Bench Press?

Your blog isn't video games

>>714106602
Maybe you're a self-hating man who will eventually become a tranny?

>>714106870
NTA but the male party members do suck pretty bad. Astarion is great but he doesn't count because he's metrosexual

>>714106218 (OP)

You've been spamming this for a year. Do you have no life?

>"Sh.. Shadowheart? Shaddy?"
>She sighs a little, polite but annoyed by the interruption, "Yes, Tav, what is it? You know it takes longer with interruptions"
>"Wh-why do you .. um... taste like Goodberry...?"
>"Erm, new soap I suppose now please get back to work"
>she goes back to obviously casting a Sending spell to someone while you continue to serve her

>>714106996
The female companions are the same bitchy girl boss empowered feminist over and over. You being attracted to them doesn't make them good characters.

>>714106218 (OP)
>Druid bro who just wants nature to flourish and good things to happen
>Used to plow drow pussy on the daily
>Consensually asks if you wanna do poly shit
>Completely optional, you don't need to accept and he'll still be cool with you

Why do people hate him? Dude is just there for a good time

>>714106218 (OP)
this shit is what furrfags want you to believe.

>>714107434
The writer who created him is gay, thats it, thats the whole reason they hate him.

Tav has a rumbly tummy from all that "goodberry pie" but just can't stop.
As soon as Daddy Halsin pumps a new batch into Shadowheart, Tav is in place ready to slurp it up like a greedy little beast. It goes on like this for all the night and into the morning.
Finally Tav retches, it's just been too much druidic seed... yet still, the feeding frenzy continues.
>hrmrmmmnfhrhgrlrlgm mmm yum good yes yes good berry mmmgrllrlkfrjm
Halsin and Shadowheart look both disgusted and highly amused. "Nature's bounty" he says to her and she laughs

>>714106870
No retard didn't you read what I said Minsc was my homie, it's a damn shame he's at the end of act 3. Wyll was boring as paper but his demon mistress was hot as fuck, Astarion was gay but he was funny, Gale is ok but I hate how much of a gay sex pest he is in the first Act because women devs. Halsin's absolutely useless and I kill him everytime because of that and the disgusting shit you can do with him. All the other female characters were superior in terms of their stories and likablity

>>714106218 (OP)
Drood dude was pretty mad gay, but a decent guy.
Gale was a proper bro tho.
>Meet the guy after pulling him out of a portal
>Go around doing magic shit
>More or less cool with what I do so long as it's not objectively heinous
>Eventually opens up to me
>"Yeah so I'm literally a mana bomb waiting to happen because I fucked the magic godess and did something really stupid to prove myself to her."
>That's bullshit but I'll believe it
>Help him sort out his magic problem for a while
>Slowly opens up more
>Realize the dude's just incredibly lonely since the woman he loved no longer wants to see him after he fucked up
>Try to help him get over her
>Go adventuring and doing crazy magic shit
>Make sure he feels like a part of the team
>Share several (platonic) intimate moments over magic and his connection to it
>Help him connect to the magic stuff since it reminds him of when things were good
>Clearly 100% appreciates it
>Turns out the goddess he screwed gave him a jihadi switch to manually detonate the mana bomb
>Convince him not to at the first chance he gets
>Eventually make it to the final boss fight
>Realize I'm completely fucked for pots/rests
>"Hey Gale, you still have that mana bomb in you right?"
>"Naaaah fuck off bro, not happening"
>"Alright, just figured I needed to mention it"
>"Yeah, actually, maybe that's a good idea"
>Dude climbs up to the final boss
>Blows himself up for everyone
>Get to retire with my half elf paladin wife because best bro gave his life for us all
>Tell my gf about it
>Calls me a stupid faggot
>Hasn't spoken to me in 2 weeks
Fuck this game.

>>714107701
I was with you until you got him to sacrifice himself, not because you got one of your party members to jihad but because you missed out on the final fight of the game cause you're a pussy

>>714107701
Shart is the worst traits of women packed into one with the trauma dumping, narcissism, and being dishonest.

>>714108093
None of that bothers me as much as her retardation with Shar. Judging by what she approves and disapproves of she's not a Durge tier psychopath but when it comes to mommy Shar she swallows all sorts of nightmarish evil because of her faith. The segment at the house of healing where she nods along with the crazy surgeon and his mind broken nurses is just mind boggling.

>>714108093
That's why I romanced Karlach instead.

Sweet, goofy and an idiot muscle head, what's not to love?

>>714108093
>>714108439
Based incels obsesed with fictional romances.

>>714108439
I love her I don't care if she's reddit
Having a gf as your bro is my dream and the fact she's bigger than you is a bonus

>>714108093
In all fairness, she did have to be secretive due to her religion being grounds for imprisonment.
She also kinda 180s if you just keep half listening and going "yes dear" while you just let her do her own thing.

>>714108529
Its below freezing where they live 80% of the year they have to fight off the seasonal affective disorder somehow.

>>714108529
I'm taking a break from 3d women

>>714108732

How can you take a break off something you never had?
Or you mean 3D porn?

>>714108653
>6'2 irl

Tfw will never experience the tall GF life

>>714108782
not everyone on here is terminally online unlike you so quit projecting

>>714108046
He got to be the hero, I got to get the ending I wanted, and didn't have to explain to the obnoxious vampire twink why he didn't get to keep the mind control crown and had to be satisfied with being a super vampire.
I'm satisfied with this conclusion after having gotten this far.

>>714108905

Yet you're obsessed with romancing fictional videogame women for someone totally not terminally online. Curious.

>>714109132
obsessed?

>>714109008
Fair enough. I'm a compulsive perfectionist so if I'm doing a "Good" playthrough I feel the need to save everyone I can.
Besides I actually liked Gale as a character, felt like a nerdy bro that was stuck with a shit end of a deal but still wanted to do good.

>>714106218 (OP)
should have sided with Minthara

>>714106309
I'm confused.
Guy has 1.7k in an actual good game and rightfully told BG3 subhumans they are subhuman.

>>714109307
>Fair enough. I'm a compulsive perfectionist so if I'm doing a "Good" playthrough I feel the need to save everyone I can.
That's fair, I think I mostly just got tired by the end of the third act and wanted to see the story conclude, contemplating doing another go as a dwarf barbarian with low int so I might see more of the game.
>Besides I actually liked Gale as a character, felt like a nerdy bro that was stuck with a shit end of a deal but still wanted to do good.
He was genuinely a stand up guy, I actually really liked the way he came across, like the one friend you keep around because you know he'll be the only one to tell you an idea's really stupid because he know's it'll end up really bad for you.

>>714106590
>stop making fun of my shitty game where the "main" romance is literal NTR shit!
>stop it! It's over! everyone's moved on!
>STOP REMINDING ME I DEFENDED KEKSHIT
Genuinely glad BG3fags will never live down their faggotry. You side with the most normalfag lemming game. You will be mocked and bullied for all time. It fills me with joy.

>>714109745
thats nuts!

>>714109745
>and rightfully told BG3 subhumans they are subhuman.
And yet that guy has made almost every single bg3 thread on 4chan. Wild stuff right?

>>714110139
Unsung hero. BG3fags need to be reminded daily they are lesser beings, their game is shit, and has ruined crpgs for decades.

>Party in act 3: Durge, Gale, Halsin, Minsc and summon scratch

Sorry roasties, the boys will save the world.

>>714110005
eteranal reminder for hypocrital porn obsessed /pol/cels
>A woman having sex before she knows you is not ntr
>A woman having sex before she's in a relationship with you is not ntr
>A woman having sex in a three-way, you brought up, where you're also participating in the sex, is not ntr
The word you're looking for is insecurity

>>714110234
Yeah he's pretty cool for a lolcow anons laugh at. Wouldn't be the same website without a punching bag to punch down at.

I wonder if he ever started up on that youtube channel after abandoning it.

>>714106602
>fucking hate karlach when i first meet her
>never have her in my party
>do her quest in act 2 cause completionist autism
>her reaction to when she gets the cooling thing and can touch people again
man she really is a qt, what the fuck

>>714107197
>bitchy girl boss empowered feminist
Not Karlach. Karlach is the girl who you go drinking with, the one who ends up getting in a bar fight because some dude insulted you. She's the type who wants to play video games in her underwear and tank top at your apartment despite you two not actually dating, she's that comfortable with you.

>>714110506
>A woman actively fantasizing about a man that isn't you and being upset you reject the threesome is hmm...SHUT UP!

>>714110657
Dude you're genuinely a pathetic incel.

>>714110523
>lolcow
The only reason he became a lolcow is that BG3 subhumans can't really argue the finer points so they make fun of his autism
He's right though. BG3 is shit. Uses the worst possible tabletop system, has horrible writing and characters, and shits on an established franchise because otherwise it'd never have reached even a fraction of the heights it did.

Well at least it's not Wyll

>>714110697
>disappointed you backed out of the threesome you brought up
I don't care a wit about shart but your cukcold obsessed cope is so self evidently false its really sort of sad.
>A woman actively fantasizing about a man that isn't you
God forbid a disgusting FEmale have an inner secual world. LEt me guess it doesn't count as cheating when you goon to blacked ntr Korean coics 500 times a day?

>>714110856
I don't really care how it happened I'm glad we have a little jester boy to beat up on.
I checked out his channel, he hasn't updated in months I think he quit after the humiliation.

BG3 itself looks bad, yeah.

>giving a late night butt massage to Shadowheart
>hear a rustling outside and Gale mumbling about plants loud enough to make sure we hear
>look up, he's directly looking at us through a window
>Shadowheart mouths "what the fuck" to me
>confront him about it later so things aren't weird.
>he smirks and squeezes my shoulder a few times, says he "forgives me"

>later he's organizing ingredients while I look through our supplies
>"... that's an often misunderstood aspect of hyena ears, here take a look at this specimen"
>turn to see his ballsack sticking out of his robe, pressing it flat to look like a "hyena ear"
>he just stares at me smiling like he's won something
>"Yep, good one Gale, got me again"

Why am I travelling with this literal sex offender

>>714108439
I want her to ride me till she sees the stars

>>714111084
Kek
>>714111160
Based.

>>714106218 (OP)
>help gobbo bros kill this dick ass bear
>continue murder hobo schizo playthrough and ploughing my shart wife
>see people crying online about getting cucked by this character I've never even met

skill issue id say

>>714111832
dont post that ... thing

>>714112152
they all ate too many supply bags

>>714106218 (OP)
>oh look this thread again
fuck off

>>714107635
based

halsin's sex toy

As Halsin and Shadowheart fall deeper for each other, he takes the lead as the MC running the party. His team rarely includes you so most of the game is sitting at camp with Gale and the pets and Withers asking about your relationship.
Cut scenes with them sharing a tent, laughing and playing all through the night while you try to sleep next to "gassy Gale".
The game proceeds this way where you get to hear about all the things they're doing in the world until they solve the crisis and live together in marital bliss, hiring you on as a caretaker (since you weren't involved much, you aren't entitled to much of the spoils)

"I'm.... I'm really happy for you two" you manage to get out with a weak smile at their wedding
They smile politely and look at eachother
"Oh, Astarion! Ahh, please do excuse us" Shadowheart says, leading Halsin away as you try to look casual standing alone by yourself.

>>714106218 (OP)
Time to buy a bear suit

>>714106218 (OP)
Big H is unstoppable

These threads are gonna make me kill Halsin even more

Halsin hits round 2 with Shadowheart, churning that goodberry pie he already left in her into a frothy goodberry porridge. Tav sits nearby rocking back and forth, squealing in anticipation, ready to slurp it down eagerly, though still a bit queasy from all he's ingested so far today.
Breathing heavy from the exertion, the archdruid Halsin dismounts Shadowheart and steps aside, revealing the sticky mess he left in her, dripping out slowly.
Tav is still feeling unwell from the previous batches, so starts backing away. "Oh, you aren't quitting now, are you?" Shadowheart teases, casting Command: Eat.
The rich, sweet taste of goodberry and the musky scent of Halsin's thick balls mingle into an intoxicating blend in Shadowheart's damp and sticky Grove.
The mixture has a presence that infiltrates Tav's very pores. It will be a long time before its traces will fully disappear from around his face.

>>714106602
I feel awkward because wyll is the exact kind of character I always play (but black)

>>714115161
My fucking sides are in outer space, this shit is hilarious

The very first blast of Halsin's seed into Shadowheart while you are asleep or leave them at camp, permanently changes her "scent."
This is a druid thing, he essentially completely marks her as his. Even though he allows you to be with her, the scent transformation is always there to remind both of you about his ownership of her.

>>714106602
>all the female characters great but the male characters are complete faggots
Shadowheart constantly lusts over Karlach.

>>714106218 (OP)
>cucks you both ingame and IRL
he just can't stop winning.

>>714115940
women can't be fags

>>714115330
Wyll is just the
>default male human
party member in every game who's kinda just there and kinda just boring, but normally he's a utility class so you bring him anyway because he's integral to the story (since he's probably the first companion), think Alistair or karth.
The problem his his whole thing is 'being the protagonist' (bust secretly not, figuratively and literally), so he's a selfish cha class when statically tav is going to be a CHA class so like there's almost no reason to actually use him.

I get the idea, but the execution just innately doesn't work unless you explicitly don't play tav as a proper face just to take wyll.

>>714116479
I dislike that i can't make tav or durge an awkward retard with people since they need to be the leader of the group. But playing as a manipulative patrick batman dragonborn durge with every evil option is the way to go

>>714116479
>The problem his his whole thing is 'being the protagonist' (bust secretly not, figuratively and literally)
It's funny how fitting but awful this is for him, with all of the origin characters being written as protagonists but Wyll having the weakestest personal plot out of all of them alongside Karlach and Minthara.