Thread 714467007

What is?

>>714467108
Mario is going to be the first Nintendo dad.

>>714467224
wouldn't be anywhere close to first lmao

>>714467395
Refresh my memory.
Did Link ever lose his virginity and have kids?

>>714467580
og donkey kong
dk junior
yoshi lays eggs by thousands
bowser
i'm sure zelda games too have many dads. at least the king that spawns usually zelda i think

>>714467007 (OP)
who's the sexy one on the right?

Feet

>>714467719
So where the hell are their wives? For all we know those kids were adopted or clones.

>>714467719
also luigi was gonna be a dad but daisy had a miscarriage iirc

>>714467580
He fugged the farm girl and had descendants, so yes.

>>714467943
Wrinkly Kong is Cranky’s Wife.

>>714467828
Her name is Pauline Jr. and she is the new Mario Sister.

It wouldn't at all surprise me if she ended up being Mario's cousin or something by the end.

The original DK didn't have a plot, they can retcon Pauline as a non-love interest.

>>714467580
The entirety of Twilight Princess is predicated on the Hero of Time and Malon having pumped out kids.

>>714468019
Damn, DK screwed this? Bruh couldn't find a better looking Ape?

I don't know if you're joking, but assuming you're not. Nintendo is never going to change the main mario character dynamics
none of the main cast will change their relationship status or have children

Is this just a random marketing image that has nothing to do with the game? or do you get to carry diddy too?

>>714467224
>>714467580
Olimar has two kids.

>>714468202
Never say never. I bet we'll also get a Black Plumber too.

>>714468301
Unrelated render

>>714468301
>Donkey Kong was forced to drop Diddy after the allegations.

>>714467007 (OP)
why is everyhiting new always designed to be so obnoxious even when they copy old shit it's still so obnoxious
>>714468043
damn, diddy kong got a new victim he ain't even finish his sentence yet shiieeettttttttttttttttttttttttttt

>>714468792
>why is everyhiting new always designed to be so obnoxious even when they copy old shit it's still so obnoxious
Because you're a bitter retard.

Bump.

>>714469475
Why is she mad?

>>714468301
Wait and see ;)

>>714469585
She is always being bullied.

Pauline is sigma!

>>714467007 (OP)
>nude feet
l-lewd...

>>714468043
>even nintendo is pushing interracial propaganda now
embarrassing

>>714471970
You can tell DK was plapping her ass cheeks all night.

>>714467224
Bowser already has a kid. You're late.

why are nintendo adults like this?

>>714469585
>PAULINE WANTS SHOES TOO!

>>714471970
>interracial
*interspecies

>>714468338
I wish him all the best in life then.

I can still see her transforming back to an adult at the end

>>714471878
what's going on here ><

>>714476524
Or she gets even younger.

>>714476736
She's teasing grown men. This brat needs serious correction.

Bump.

>>714468146
Not only Malon, it's implied he fucked Ruto too, Queen Rutela is clearly their children

>>714468161
Cranky has a dead wife

>>714477654
It's just safe to assume every Link fucked their respective harem

>>714478071
So he's into necrophilia. The Kong are more degenerate than I thought.

>>714467580
The entire royal bloodline is descended from SS Link and the OG Zelda. TP Link is the direct descendant of OoT Link. Those are the only two explicit examples of Link fucking. The other Links are never stated to have kids

>>714467395
Olimar
Bowser
Shulk
Rex
Noah
Matthew (though we don’t actually see his children, just his descendants)
Haven’t played a ton of FE but I know most of the male units in the 3DS games can have kids

And that’s just playable characters

>>714478278
Not even Toon Link? After all that trouble you'd think he would bang the bitch.

>>714478319
It's time for Mario to whip out his Italian sausage then and start impregnating some chicks.

>>714478319
Chrom and Lucina are descended from Marth and his wife Caeda. Alm and Celica are the ancestor of Emperor Walhart from Awakening. Sigurd's son Seliph is the main character of the second half of his game. Roy is Eliwood's son and Lilina is Hector's daughter. Ike has a descendant in Awakening. Chrom is Lucina's father. Robin also has a child named Morgan with whoever you want. Lucina can fuck any of the timetravelling children including her cousin and her child will presumably be the next Queen/King of Ylisse since she is also the heir to the throne. Corrin has a kid. The other main characters don't have any confirmed children.

>>714478435
They probably en up together if the end is any indication, but there is nothing indicating that they had a kid since no game takes place directly after Spirit Tracks.

>>714478319
So if Bowser has a kid why is he trying to kidnap Peach? Does his other wife refuse to put out?

>>714478886
Dang, we need another sequel then.

>>714479352
I think that's part of the punchline.

>>714480913
Damn. So Bowser is being cucked in his own home then.

>>714467007 (OP)
>The company that never showed Mario or Luigui mouth kissing will gave Mario a daughter. Sure....

>>714467580
OoT Link did, yeah. TP Link is his kid.

>>714467007 (OP)
fuck I wanna see Loli Pauline's prepubescent dogs wrapped around my cock...

>>714468301
Just an official render for general use.

>>714481341
Peach kisses Mario all the time. But he was saving the raunchy stuff for Pauline instead.

>>714481826
But Mario and Peach didn't get married.

>>714478278
Pretty sure groose cucks ss link. Tp link descendant makes sense until you realize it's after majora

I truly loathe italians, what a contemptible race

>>714467007 (OP)
Tell me why it is you think you NEED Pauline to be Mario's daughter, anon. Where you loved as a child? Are you simply projecting your desire for a parental figure onto a fictional character?

>>714482028
Because Peach is a bitch.

>>714482339
Literally no one thinks this

>>714482028
Peach is royalty and beautiful, why would she marry an ugly manlet plumber?

>>714482384
It's time for Mario to level up and and leave behind a legacy. He needs a heir in case he dies or just retires.

I'm fucking sick of this guy and his daughterfu obsession. Take a fucking hint and calm down already.

>>714483163
We need more games promoting healthy families, anon.

Free Mario Jr.

> muh clothes
So if she unlocks a pink dreww shes gonna be peach daughter too?

>>714468440
That happened to me once. He sounded normal on the phone.

>>714482384
Real quick, I am the Pauline Jr. theorist, but I'm not OP, I didn't make this thread.
I don't necessarily NEED this Pauline to be Mario's daughter, as much as I would prefer to see what happened to Mario after he got back home after Odyssey.

How does his "story" end?
Nintendo can still make a dozen more "Peach gets kidnapped" Mario games, but in terms of the narrative that Super Mario Odyssey presented to us, where would Mario go from there?

For some reason, Super Mario Odyssey seemed really focused on Mario and Pauline being together, right down to Goombette, the pink goomba, being dressed as Pauline, and not Peach.

>>714467224
Bowser olimar rex crankey kong.

>>714483686
Why does nigga look like he's going to start a cult and serve kool-aid?

>>714482384
What I rather not get is why some people get mad at this theory, it's just fun.

>>714483686
Why does this nigga look like he's about to start a cult and serve poison kool-aid?

>>714483686
We need Mario to do this with Peach, Pauline and Rosalina

>>714483309
Unironically that's how we got Batman Beyond.

>>714484347
It would be chad. Mario would have kids with different heights.

>>714481826
Peach is literally a toadstool wearing the Peach crown. Mario Mario needs human stock to procreate.

>>714484724
Nice game theory.

>>714467224
>Mario is going to be the first Nintendo dad.
Eric is our father.

Why would they make her barefoot?

>>714467580
OoT Link married Malon and is the ancestor of TP Link, WW Link married Tetra and populated a whole kingdom with her. BotW Link and Zelda live together and sleep in the same bed.

>>714469475
>more xitterpedo art sloppa

>>714467007 (OP)
Unfortunately, Nintendo will never confirm or deny your theories because they don't want to be worldbuilders like Tolkien, the objective of Nintendo is to sell you cheap entertainment that you forget about when the next game comes out.

>>714468338
Pikmin chads win again. How does he do it?!

>>714483309
kys faggot

>>714486578
Why are you so hostile?

>>714483294
Fuck off, Japan doesn't do this shit, so why are you using their characters to promote your stupid ass western political agenda?

>>714487620
Having babies is "western political agenda"?
Bruh, go educate yourself on what the birthrate crisis is.

>>714485837
Olimar has great moves.

>>714485185
She grew up in poverty.

>Xenodicklets ignoring all the other main characters in ho had kids in their series to boast about all the harem porn they love blasting loads to
Every fucking thread with you brownoids

>>714487982
I repeat, Japan is not using Bananza as a fucking ploy to increase their birthrates, so why are you doing so on their behalf?

>>714488648
Because I can. Keep crying Chud.

>DK threads will always have this faggot pushing his awful art and ship
What is it with these people? Why do they latch onto a specific game like this?

>>714488648
Donkey Kong Arcade introduced Mario, Donkey Kong Bananza could introduce his daughter.

>>714488901
Being an obnoxious faggot isn't a good thing.

It is not a loli Pauline. It is simply a chibi adult Pauline. Screencap this post because time will prove that I am right about this.

>>714489214
He's from the mario threads on /vg/, they made fun of him there so he spams his shit in /v/ instead, he got royally btfo after the direct so he doubled down on it not being Pauline.
Look at his filenames, they all start with 1000, sometimes he spams in multiple threads at once.

>>714489214
>DK threads will always have this faggot pushing his awful art and ship
That would only happen if Bananza confirms the theory, in which case, EVERYBODY will be talking about it, since Mario having a daughter with Pauline would be a big deal.
Now, if Bananza debunks the theory, then it will just die out, and we'll look back on it fondly in future threads.

>>714467580
Link is trans and so are Legend of Zelda fans.....so no

>>714467580
Ocarina of Time Link smashed the fuck out of Malon.

>>714489214
>Shipwankers killed Legend of Zelda discussion to live vicariously through BotW Link and now we just have thread after thread of lonelyfags jerking off to ZeLink together
>Shipwankers killed Xenoblade discussion to live vicariously through Rex so hard that the threads all STILL just schizophrenic shitflinging after 3 fucking years and an X remake
Welcome to the fucking club.

>>714489260
Takes one to know one. Faggot.

>>714489850
No one will look at your spamming ass fondly.

>>714489982
i'm not that guy thoughtbeit

>>714489850
>and we'll look back on it fondly in future threads.
Yeah right, this motherfucker (you) will become the next ericposter anytime a Bananza or even DK thread pops up.

>>714489947
>live vicariously through Rex
The irony given that everyone hated Rex UNTIL he got a confirmed fuck from one of the girls, never mind all of them. I guess that redesign helped in letting them self-insert as him. I had no issue with him, personally and found the original design charming in a way.

>>714483309
I remember this

>>714489982
NTA, I will stop talking about my theory if it gets debunked, okay?
I am preparing for it to not be Pauline Jr. and for it to be something else instead.

>>714467007 (OP)
Is she gonna do the Mario?

>>714490268
>I will stop talking about muh suzanne if they deconfirm it!
>immediately moves goalpost and says it's still not Pauline when Nintendo hard confirms it as Pauline on the direct.
you aren't gonna give it up because that's not what autists like you do, you'll continue to be a pest

>>714490676
I promise it will stop if it gets debunked this time.
I am sorry that I went back on what I said after the Direct.

>>714490676
God forbid people have fun right?

>>714482028
Hold the fuck up. Are you telling me Peach is unmarried AND she gives Mario a kiss? For God's sake she's supposed to be a Princess.

>>714467007 (OP)
Mario is lgbt coded. Not his kid.

>>714491989
Mario comes from an Italian family. They would beat his ass for gayness.

>>714492254
Woah. Red circles.

>>714492190
That's a lot of men for not a lot of women. They're either cuck coded or gay coded.

>>714492330
Redditors have a hard time seeing things in images without red circles and arrows pointing to them.

This guy genuine needs to be euthanized. This much autism is just an impediment to ever living life as a semi-normal human being.

>>714491573
I repeat, being obnoxious is not a good thing.

>>714489797
>It's real
lel this is lolcow tier shit

lmfaoo
https://arch.b4k.dev/vg/thread/527924006/
you can feel the meltdown

>>714467007 (OP)
New Donkers always win.
Get fucked Mushroomoids

>>714493221
/smbg/ is such a funny place

>>714467007 (OP)
It's mario after taking the pauline mushroom

>>714492254
How did I never noticed that?

>>714493804
Bold hypothesis. I believe it.

>>714493804
That actually would be a good twist.

>>714493952
Bruh, I don't see anything.

Bump.

>>714467007 (OP)
What if Mario was a girl?

>>714467007 (OP)
YES
REDDIT
WE DID IT

FINALLY MARIO IS ACTUALLY A TRANSGENDER FEMALE

IT IS --> HER --> TURN

>>714496972
I'd bing her wahoo, if you know what I mean.

>>714496972
Marioa has a male chin
weird

>>714481675
>CS Mansion
Yes.

>>714489850
>and we'll look back on it fondly in future threads
Shut the fuck up, retard.

>>714467007 (OP)
So why is her name Pauline then? You saying Pauline named her daughter after herself?

>>714468146
>entire basis is that TP Link works for a ranch and has a horse named Epona
>Epona became a legacy horse after OoT
>only works for a completely different ranch
Malonfags live in their headcanon.

>>714498492
>So why is her name Pauline then? You saying Pauline named her daughter after herself?
Yes, this is the same franchise that has characters like DK Jr. and Bowser Jr. mind you.

>>714498492
>So why is her name Pauline then? You saying Pauline named her daughter after herself?
It's not that unusual. It's how you get Jr, the Third etc... Also the main protagonist is called Mario Mario.

>>714498721
>DK JUNIOR and Bowser JUNIOR
Something seems to be missing

>>714483686
>Mentions Rex but not Shulk
bro...

>>714483381
Kek, I appreciate you anon

>>714467007 (OP)
Pauline is Donkey Kong's lost daughter

>>714499359
That make's DK a loving step father

>>714499880
Faster!

>>714499880
that's pretty funny, never took notice.

>>714499880
I never noticed that was the sprite animation, I thought that was just a thing from Super Mario Odyssey.

>>714499880
me on the left in the center panel

>>714483686
I still can't believe this happened and Nintendo didn't say shit. Will we one day have an interview with Takahashi about how hard he had to fight for this? That they pleaded with him to just make it so Rex was standing behind Pyra and two faceless men were behind Mythra and Nia.

>>714499880
>pauline was just dancing the whole time when mario "rescued" her

>>714493324
will there be a plethora of cuckquean memes if the theory is true?

>>714501501
Probably.

>>714467007 (OP)
I had a dream where at the end of the game it was revealed that Void Kong was a Kremlin.
No, he was not K. Rool, he was just a giant, Godzilla sized Kremlin with a stupid monocle that had NO RELATIONSHIP with K. Rool and there was zero mentions of K. Rool, and everyone got mad about it.
And also in game it was never explained with Pauline was a kid, nor any mentions if it was a prequel or sequel or anything, she's just a kid in the game for no reason, and that also pissed off more people.

>>714498492
>Malonfags live in their headcanon
>knows Maron’s familial song
>Malon’s singing voice is heard during Hyrule Field (Night) theme

>>714502528
>And also in game it was never explained with Pauline was a kid, nor any mentions if it was a prequel or sequel or anything, she's just a kid in the game for no reason, and that also pissed off more people.
This seems very likely to happen, given that the Odyssey team is very bad at storytelling

>game ends with Mario seeing you carrying Pauline and he chases you to a construction site where you throw barrels at him to keep him away but ultimately can't win
WHOA-HOOAAAAHHHH

>>714502857
Are they though?
Or did they just leave us with a cliffhanger?

>>714498492
anon...the implication was that mario was fucking his relative

>>714502528
I thought Kremlins have all crocodile/alligator skin? Is he somehow wearing another costume over that?

>make a new open world game
>so devoid of creative essence the characters pose in exact same way

Pretty sad

>>714504278
in Bananza there are magic bananas that turns you into different species

Nobody believes in me and you
Just look at the way they stare
So what if we live in a walled garden
As long as I've got you then I don't care

>>714467007 (OP)
and? its time he got replaced anyway.

Women always win.

>>714468301
why is his head so fuckin big

>>714504516
The ostrich looks so fuckin' weird, I don't mind the zebra or mega monke though

>>714504707
I want to see what Elephant Donkey Kong looks like.

>>714504516
the banana parasites feels weird. I can see why they are there but still.

>>714467007 (OP)
They're going to make her "Girl-Mario" and start the "Girl-Mario" franchise because Nintendo is woke now.

>>714467007 (OP)
I always thought the implication was that they replaced Mario in mid-development with Paulie. That's why they both have similar animations.

>>714505123
that's dumb. "always thought"? seriously? You didn't even know this shit existed 3 months ago

>>714505090
oh brother get a load of this retard

>>714467007 (OP)
Like a chip off the old block.

>>714504516
There is going to be a yellow Elephant and a Green Kremling Bananza, I can feel it.

>>714505090
Nintendo isn't woke.
Their fans should have options.
Men can play as Mario in his game, and women can play as his daughter in her game.
It actually reminds me of the Link's Awakening remake and Echoes of Wisdom.

All I know is the only video game character to actually get married, that I can remember, is Master Higgins. Marries Jungle Tina.
>Mario was put in friend zone by Peach
>Link and Zelda barely are romantically involved
>Wario prefers riches over bitches
>Goemon has a girlfriend, but that's about it
>Crash's girlfriend who was MADE for him, left him for some fag in a pinstripe suit pretending to be a mafia member
>Spyro's girlfriend's some kind of goat.
>Sonic just has a stalker he tolerates.

>>714504536
>the bing-bing game is going to have a major twist and character reveal for real this time!
Record yourself doing a high-dive frontflip onto some concrete when you’re wrong yet again and it’s just another focus-grouped family friendly platform game

>>714505090
>They're going to make her "Girl-Mario" and start the "Girl-Mario" franchise because Nintendo is woke now.
They were always "woke".

>>714505234
That's a femanon
>>714505860
That's a 30 year old male.
>>714506525
And that's a tranny-anon.

>>714506687
This is a faggot

>>714506823
This....Is Mario.

>>714507013
This is his daughter.

>>714467580
OoT Link very likely sexxed Malon and Ruto

>entire thread is one guy samefagging and necrobumping
let this die

>>714511002
It is not.
I didn't even make the thread.

A reminder to newfags entering the thread
See >>714489797

I don't give a FUCK about pauline.

>>714501337
a girl gotta do something when shes bored