Thread 714585692

Unf Quarians plap plap

Turians tongue my anus

>>714585692 (OP)
A REAPER JUST FLEW OVER MY HOUSE

>>714586293
>Reapers
we have dismissed that claim

>>714586089
Nothing good, I hope.

>>714586293
>"That's right cocksucker go back to dark space and sleep for another 50,000 years"

>Turian friend is addicted to warthunder
The games almost 200 years old and it's still going thanks to Turian military autism. Why must they be like this.

>>714586698
I bet he still plays old Russian tanks too.

>>714586698
Why do turian men fuck human women?

>>714587751
What the fuck is wrong with Salarians?

how did living in the unsanitary, cramped conditions of random spaceships repurposed as permanent colonies WEAKEN the quarian immune system?

>turian women go for human men
>quarian women go for human men
>asari go for humans
>human women only fuck asari or human men
I fucking hate this shit so much. Why did I have to be born turian?

>human literally named John Shepard, as in Shepard of his people, most generic name possible
>has a super secret special stealth ship that lets him go wherever he wants undetected
>supposedly found out the truth about the reapers but didn't bring any proof back to the council
>dies then mysteriously appears again because ???? super secret cerberus technology
>is the first person in hundreds of years to talk to a geth
>saves everyone from the geth invasion aka "reapers" then dies... again... but not before establishing an alliance with the geth
>in every vid he walks and talks like an autistic robot
John Shepard is not real, he is a bosh'tet geth plant put there to try to convince people that they shouldn't just be exterminated and the council went along with it because muh peace.

>>714588429
The geth aren't even organic. They deserve to be bombed to extinction.

Kill all batarians.
Roundhouse kick a batarian into the concrete.
Crucify filthy batarians.
Defacate in a batarians food.
Launch batarians into the sun.
Stir fry batarians in a wok.
Toss batarians into active vulconos.
Urinate into a batarians gas tank.
Judo throw batarians into a wood chipper.
Twist batarians heads off.
Karate chop batarians in half.
Trap batarians in quicksand.
Crush batarians in trash compactor.
Liquefy batarians in a vat of acid.
Eat batarians. Dissect batarians.
Exterminate batarians in gas chambers.
Stomp batarian skulls with steel toed boots.
Cremate batarians in the oven.
Lobotomize batarians.
Vaporize batarians with a ray gun.
Kick old batarians down the stairs.
Feed batarians to alligators.
Impale batarians on a lance.

Reminder that if you don't hate Asari just as much as you do Batarians, you're being tricked by blue tits.

Anyone else ok with suit rats? Like don't get me wrong I wouldn't want a ton of them on the citadel but those hips...

>>714586698
I heard they leaked the Turian Hierarchy's plans for next-gen gunships.

>>714587650
Same reason human men fuck turian women

pov: human female

KROGAN CAWK

>>714591810
Samantha Traynor is a lucky woman.

>>714592826
Why? Because she gets to be the live-in sextoy of Shepard and Liara?

Humans tongue my cloaca

>>714586263
>sandpaper rimjob

>>714588323
poindexters were the only ones useful enough to be allowed to reproduce.

>>714592865
But Shepard sleeps with Tali. I saw it. He got all up in in that qussy.

>>714588323
>be in close quarters for centuries (3, I think)
>have bacteria all around you
>build immunity to bacteria
>bacteria dies with the inability to replicate inside hosts and routine cleaning
>immunity goes away with no exposure
You basically end up living in a clean area for so long, then you need those suits to go elsewhere. Once you come back, everyone has to be in suits because who knows what you brought back. Then all you know is the clean suit interior. I'd assume babies are bubble boys until they get old enough to be fitted for suits.

>>714593610
>edi canonically watches and records this on security footage
probably shares it to that gooner pilot joker

>>714588890
>being a moderate

>>714585692 (OP)
>born too early to fuck alien pussy
JUST

>>714594202
they wouldn't want you bro

>>714595191
>implying they have a choice

>Try to play matchmaking in any military-themed RTS
>Have to fight some autistic Turian named PalavenMight314 with insane APM
Why do we have to live like this?

>>714595452
Why use Advanced Power Management when ACPI is better?

I heard there's fish in the Presidium

>>714595703
>Asari conspiracy theories
>Our gods aren't real

>Human conspiracy theories
>Shanxi was an inside job

>Krogan conspiracy theories
>There's fish in the Presidium waters

Im not even sure which one I believe the most

i think Batarians didn't deserve-

>tfw not even Asari sluts want to fuck me, I am spacecel
>I blame Volus for manipualting the space sex market
>join human supremacist organisation
>boss believes some filthy tentacle immigrants are going to take our jobs and our wives
>I want to help, boss
>get assigned to crew that is lead by some woke coomander femboss fucking space babes
>she is even gay, fucking women
>try to hook up with other supremacists on the spaceship
>the cute girl I liked casually fucks varrens, I should've know, she is white, yjk
My only hope is the AI robowaifu.

>>714597923
HES A BATARIAN

>>714599992
nah batarians are ugly

SHEPARD

>>714587650
The same reason human men bang turian men

>>714602832
proofs?

best rifle

COMMANDER SHEPARD'S SEX TAPE JUST LEAKED

>>714605085
It's the asari, isn't it?

>>714605185
Why do they keep seducing our human men? I hope the reapers are real and they harvest every last one of you blue whores

>>714603980
based

>come home
>find this in your bed
what do

>>714608309
Call c-sec

>>714603980
move aside

God dammit if my fat elcor motherfucker neighbors above me don’t stop eating tree leaves and gassing up the balcony I’m gonna call the apartment Hanar and file an ecosystem complaint
This ecoterrarium unit costs far too many credits for my space budget! I’m trying to get a vacation to Virmire next year.

>>714608495
>has equal dmg with twice the weight
so wrong

>>714608519
With barely contained smugness: I am a human and I have never experienced issues from Elcor

>>714608495
>>714603980
the m7 lancer moggs both thoughbeit

>>714608519
The Hanar are the reason why there are so many Krogan and Vorcha immigrating to Earth after the reaper war was won. Now every major city on Earth looks like Tuchanka or the Vorcha homeworld. Someone better call Shepard to come and kick their asses out. I maybe a black man, but my half-black half white daughter is in college right now and after she graduates, she isn't going to marry krogan or vorcha. This is why I joined the Terra Firma party.

I drank the ryncol.

>>714609613
The hell is that stuff anyway?

>>714609894
Potent Krogan alcohol. How it's made and it's made of is unknown.

>>714609274
why is it the volus insist we let half of earth and her colonies turn in to heshtok but only Turin's and other volus are allowed on irune

>>714610021
it's krogan piss which is why the females of the galaxy love it

>>714585692 (OP)
>reapers arriving in batarian space
NOTHING. EVER HAPPENS.

>playing batariantide
>comfy game as we genocide the four eyed faggots, until this one guy joins
>immediately starts whining about how everyone needs to change so he can play human
>hanarbro ffs him with Shepard's ult
>for some reason this sends him into an absolute bitch fit, 180ing at claiming anyone who would ever play shepard is a fag and how cerberus is much cooler than any N7 operative
>eventually rage quits after a solid minute of withering hanar bants, me saying he's a disgrace to humanity and muffled Turian sniggering
>think nothing of it until a week later
>someone broke into my house
>Turianbro also says he had a break in
>couldn't talk to Hanarbro, but we saw a Csec car round his place
>mfw we realised nothing was stolen but some cereal

I
AM
KROGAAAANNN

you anons got some nice QAV codes?

>>714610616
I
AM
STERILE

>>714588429
I saw him on the citadel when he was glitching out once, he just looked like a regular vi to me, there's a few vids available of him during that time, he was in the refugee camps near the docks

>>714587650
hey im not complaining more turian chicks for me (its like fucking sand paper but they are the sweetest gals in the universe)
>>714588346
chin up bro you could be quarian

Exasperated: I am deeply disturbed by humanity(s promiscuity.

>>714611919
Desperately horny
Please be in London district

>>714591810
*hits red sand*

quarian bros, why is the admirals daughter flying around the galaxy with that shepard guy still?

they stopped saren months ago

Worried restlessness: Batarians could be in close proximity

>>714616384
hey

>>714616384
Eager rebuttal: it would be a shame if the batarians mass relay suffered a tragic collision, such as an asteroid. Such a disaster could only be reconciled by the strong willed people like the batarians

>>714616860
Alarmed: aaaaaa

>>714610678
NEED
A
NAME

Mass Effect 3 sure feels nicer to play when you get to pick every line Shepard says.

>>714616860
SAVE ME VORCHAMAN, I'M GOING INSAAAAAAAAAANE

is there a mod for hoi4 involve the citadel species?

>>714616860
He looks like he fucks "genetically perfect" human women

Cure the genophage chuds. What's wrong gonna shit your pants and cry over a few extra Krogan? Grow up.

>>714610195
Remember the "Red Reaper?" Reapertroons are so retarded.

>>714617172
do you know something we don't?

I'm going to prod the keepers!! FUCK C(unt)-Sec.

>>714617681
Too bad it's the worst of the trilogy.

>>714608490
womanbros...

>>714622346
2**

>>714624154
Nobody truly believes that. Keep posting your schizophrenia in every thread.

>>714624154
2 is still my favorite of the 3 games.
Like, by far.
Every time I replay the 3 games I look forward to 2 the most, and enjoy it the most.

Why is Mass Effect so cosy bros?

I know people will bitch and moan about 3 or whatever, but I love it too. I think 2 might be my favourite overall, but I really really loved the 3rd game-especially with the Expanded Galaxy+Take Back Earth mods.

I really can't place it but it is just an astoundingly comfy universe to explore. I hope the new game is literally just more of that, maybe freshened up a bit. But I know it probably won't be.

>>714624154
Its 3 and will always be 3, even if the problems start with 2, 3 is an abomination.

shep and garrus getting ptsd by the time of me3 was kino

Guys, Commander Shepard punched that journalist bitch again, how is he this based

>>714624931
>that QTE in 3 where she's learned to dodge but you just hit her again
kek

>>714624574
BUT CHEST HIGH WALLS AND LE RPG ELEMENTS AND THERMAL CLIPS AND THE GLOYVIN

>>714624154
As much as I like 3 the only thing it did better was the skill tree was a little better than 2 and they added the weight mechanic which you could just run a pistol and have almost no recharge time

Other than that 2 and 3 both have mid stories but atleast in 2 you have all the loyalty shit which is entertaining enough

>>714624867
yep

>>714624982
Renegade Shepard is just really funny in general.

Why does every species want to fuck humans?

Bro WTF this one human girl I hooked with the other day asked me to dump my quad inside her but I haven't heard from her in a few days, what did I do wrong?

Isn't it weird? Those coombrain hanar didn't post yet. I wonder if...

LEAKED DETAILS ON KHARSHAN MASSACRE

>>714625682
>ywn feel her mandibles lightly scratch you while making out
ITS NOT FAIR

>>714598721
>My only hope is the AI robowaifu.
Which is fucking the cripple pilot. You couldn't even measure to a fucking cripple quip man. That's grim