>be a kid growing up in the late 90s and 2000s
>beg my dad to buy me my favourite video game magazine everytime we went shopping for gorceries
>there was always a disc included, which contained free video games, expansion packs (complimentary to their previous issue) and demos
>sometimes you straight up got major game releases for very little money, because the magazines were able to make deals with the publishers
>they also packed the disc with tons of obscure games, which significantly broaden your experience as a gamer
>the reviews made games seem much better, more fun, mysterious and otherwordly than they were, when you played them
>the on-disc graphical reviews of cutting-edge shadow, lighting and water effects looked better than many modern games
>most of the journalists looked like heavy metal fans or nerds
>basically no women
>the humor sections of the magazine was basically 4chan printed in text
>the most common joke about their obese colleague was that he was so fat no person alive has ever seen his dick, not even himself
>tons of other jokes, which would be seen as way too problematic today
>the replies to reader's letters were full of insults too
>find out later the cooking show they added as a joke to every disc became a cult, but at the time it didn't interest me, because I was a kid
For me it was the PC ACTION, /v/.

My magazines are full of hollow points.

>that one time Ahmet Iscitürk casually talked about deflowering minors in the outtakes section
The sudden shift in tone, praising the beer he got served during that conversation, left me in tears.

When I was a kid I used to buy these videogame magazines until my father opened up one of them out of curiosity, landed right on the page advertising Street Fighter x King of Fighters hentai and whooped my ass.

>>714957275
Not the PC Action ones, mind you. I didn't word that post very well. I don't remember the name but I know it was a PSX one.

>>714957275
He should had whopped you harder, seeing that you're a loser adult now.

>>714956797 (OP)
>20 Spiele, für die du eine Niere verpfänden würdest
This is so much better 'klickbait' than the shit we have now

>>714957316
Well pardon me, Mr. Forbes 30 Under 30. How's your company going?

>>714957317
That's one of the tamer ones.

>>714956797 (OP)
IS THAT A...oh wait it isn't

>>714957461
>Chink be vigilant! Agent Orange is freshly squeezed
Krauts had no chill.

>>714957461
>>714957665
>Schlitzauge, sei wachsam! Agent Orange wird frisch gepresst
>Laras dicke Dinger
lmao
Back then this wouldn't have phased me at all. Today I know what a time I lived through.

>>714957610
It's a woman with Germanic facial features. Modern /v/ calls them manface for some reason though.

>>714957461
wtf kind of tomb raider version did you krauts get

>>714956797 (OP)
>PC Action

MY MAN!
I LOVED this magazine so much.
PC Action kocht was amazing and later they also started bundling a free indy horror movie with every issue.

It was such an amazing magazine

>>714956797 (OP)
A Web version would be nice, but no one cares do revive this feeling.

>>714957236
You have a link for this anywhere? sounds hilarious

>>714957461
that bf2 vietnam headline, holy shit

i missed this one, I didn't start reading it until 2007

>>714957840
the actual translation is "Lara's fat tits", so "Lara's dick" is actually tamer

I liked all the info for shit back before wikis were a thing. gamefaqs was decent but they weren't as fun to look at

>>714956797 (OP)
what game is Tits McGee from?

It wasn't just the PC Action
even more normie friendly things like GIGA, Game One and the two big german Nintendo magazines, Big N and the N Games were what would be considered edgy nowadays.

And it still had way better journalism and more intelligent and detailed reviews than anything that's out now on mainstream platforms.

I remember reading a review of Metroid Zero Mission in Big N and they had an entire section dedicated to explaining how the game is full of sequence breaks, what they are, how they are useful and a footnote about speedrunning. This was in 2004.

>>714956797 (OP)
Fuck yeah, cd action rocked. As a young poorfag I was always so hype to stand in front of the kiosk first thing in the morning to check if the new magazine came out, and than play the shit out of each full title to the best of my abilities (and with hard drives having only 50 GB a lot of games had to be uninstalled to make space).
Ibrmeber on year they made a special 13 edition with cards that had game character printed on them, that was the raddest shit the younger me ever owned.

I used to buy the Computer Bild Spiele Premium with the two discs. Holy shit this makkes me feel old.

>>714957461
>Slit-eye, be alert! Agent Orange is freshly squeezed!
This shit washillarious back then.

>>714956797 (OP)
these fucks radicalized me against game journos long before ign ever did

>>714958482
>radicalized me against game journos
cringe

>>714957840
Uuuuuhhhh.....
https://youtu.be/GdXYG7GBPpI?t=365

>>714956797 (OP)
Been reading old gaming magazines recently. You come across prophetic stuff quite often.

>>714957275
Is the ad in question too much for a blue board?

>>714957461
getting a very thick magazine with good journalism and fun to read articles AND a dvd with return to castle wolfenstein, 19 demos and other goodies like video reviews all for an inflation adjusted 8€ or 9$ is insane

we really didn't know how good we had it back then bros

>>714958582
They even had lore about Lars Croft where getting in contact with vidya for the first time was the reason he turned into a giant faggot - PC Player was one of the more moderate mags.
https://youtu.be/2H974yFz38Y?t=288

>>714956797 (OP)
kino

>>714958052
Sadly I don't think that the DVDs were uploaded anywhere and I can't even remember which issue it was but it must've been somewhere between 2003-05.

>>714958887
>>714959021
holy based

>>714959093
shame. at least some episodes of PC Action kocht can still be found on youtube. And I'm sure I hsve some of the DVDs lying around in my basement somewhere

>>714958928
IIRC it was the cover + text explaining the "plot". If what you're asking for is a pic of it, God knows where those magazines are now, but it wouldn't surprise me if they were on Archive.org or something. I'm trying to look for them, but can't find the specific one.

>>714958242
age of conan i guess, doesn't fit the others in the list

>>714959268
At least all of the issues themselves have been archived:
https://www.kultmags.com/mags.php?folder=UEMtQWN0aW9u

>>714958887
Not bad, though something like MGS1 has infinitely more fun gameplay than the current Sony Cinematic Experiences

>>714959385
that is fantastic, thanks!
im gonna go drown in nostalgia today

>>714958928
>>714959289
I didn't quite find the specific issue, but I found this one. I'm sure you'll like it all the same, anon
https://archive.org/details/gametype01/Gametype%2005/page/78/mode/2up

It really is strange how faggy the world became after tumblr became popular
I was reading scans of some old Australian n64 magazines not that long ago and all the reader letters are about how gay playstation and saturn owners are

>>714958887
especially the second half of this piece speaks pure, unadulterated truth

if only people had listened

>>714959796
one of the german unofficial Nintendo magazines had an entire reader letters section that was mostly there to roast readers and make some jokes.
not as hardcore as the PC Action reader letters section (which gave out an award every issue for the most retarded letter), but still good

>>714958482
How so?

>>714958887
>Goldeneye is more enjoyable than MGS
Ain't that the fucking truth. I kept pointing out the movie shit back during close to the end of 6th Gen. Video games got way more cinematic, and then gameplay started disappearing from trailers. Every E3 Sony and Microsoft always had some presentation with almost no gameplay for any game showcase and the crowds would clap and cheer every fucking time. Thats also when I noticed stuff like Comic Con started to go to shit. Just an excuse for cosplay and movie reveals.

>>714958482
>power unlimited
this brings me back

>>714959532
Its crazy that this was considered an adult game back then.

>>714960314
What is considered an adult game now?

I still remember one of the mail sections of a magazine. Some dude asked the magazine if they know some new anime games coming out, normal stuff like DBZ. They replied telling him to go easy on cartoons and have sex. Absolutely brutal.

>>714959916
>which gave out an award every issue for the most retarded letter
And had another one read by Harald Fränkel on the DVD where he slapped on a fake Hitler moustache and talked like him.
also
>mfw the DBZ flamewar with the readers
>mfw someone wrote them to go and take two raw chicken breasts, shove them between a radiator and fuck it
>mfw they held a contest to come up with the best insult for their layouter who denied to have screwed up some article or something

>>714960314
wdym

>>714956797 (OP)
Used to beg the same lol
PSM2 chad over here. Re-bought some online recently, still as funny as I remember them being.

>>714960417
everything is. there are no more innocent children nowadays.

>>714959385
Are there porn ones, the cheap gas station ones? They are as iconic as it gets. (bushy)

>>714960513
>mfw they held a contest to come up with the best insult for their layouter who denied to have screwed up some article or something
fuuuck, i remember that!
that is a memory that has been rotting in storage for so long

that's it man, I'm going to the basement to dig up some old issues. With any luck there are also some early 2000s BRAVOs among the pile

>>714960727
i remember being a child in the early/mid 90s and gas stations routinely had a full rack of car, bodybuilding and titty magazines next to the counter.

what a time to grow up in

>subscribe to PC Gamer
>get full magazine cover art without the text on it
>kino

Also, as a 14 year old, so many of the ads in there being close to softcore porn was pretty great.

>>714960841
I miss those. I think next time i fill my car up i will buy one of these cheap smut magazines just to see how much they changed.

>>714961219
that shit was very formative imo.

this sort of hypermasculine stuff was everywhere in the 90s. In children's media too. the X-Men, He-Man and even traditionally thinner characters like Spider Man were all jacked to the gills.
90s WWF and WCW was just a who's who of roided guys and women that looked like strippers.

good times

>>714960727
>>714960841
>mfw seventeen mags were right next to the vidya mags

>>714960767
The coolest thing about reading old mags to me is looking at the preview sections, seeing all the minor titles that completely flew under the radar and checking out what ever happened to them.
Like, take that one for example: this article here was, IIRC, the only time it was ever revealed to the public and in the end never got released. Turns out 20 years later someone managed to get and dump a nearly complete prototype for it.

at some point in about 2006 i realised the magazines were so expensive i was basically losing out on one game for every five or so magazines i bought

game master UK came with cheat books which were handy though

>>714960841
They don't do that wherever you are anymore?
We still have nude mags with bare titties on full display at our gas stations (Germoney).

>>714961539
that is fascinating.
and i do remember some things like that.

I also remember Duke Nukem Forever being on the "coming soon" list in the previews sections of various magazines for years.

>>714962308
to be honest I haven't payed attention but I don't recall.
At least bodybuilding magazines aren't really a thing anymore.
I'm in switzerland

>>714961539
I still remember preview of Ride to Hell when it was still presented as open world game or Risen's preview claiming the game will have multiple biomes and race. Yeah, it didn't quite turned out that way.

>>714961143
>read German PCGames magazine in the 90s
>one page has a review for Battledrome, the next one blurbs for "The Redlight Guide to Hamburg" and an image-CD called "Rubber Fantasies" about latex and gasmask-fetish shit

>>714958242
>>714959352
It was Age of Conan, I remember all the hype around it because you could go topless etc. I remember playing that for a while when it released, the soundtrack was god-tier but the MMO overall a bit meh.

>>714956797 (OP)
the importance of video game magazines is exaggerated in retrospect because it's simple enough to copy paste the JPGs of covers and people assume it must have been an analog experience to being a video game news consumer now

Almost no one actually read them like people read video game news now. You bought like one a year at the convenience store. People were completely ignorant of the most basic things, like e.g. they often didn't know to buy a new game by a company they had liked a previous game from because they didn't know the difference between publishers and developers, etc.

>>714959760
My dad would have just chuckled and told me to make sure my mom didn't see. I'm sorry the other anon's dad wanted him to be a faggot.

>>714956797 (OP)
My local game magazine used to came with a gameshark/action replay disk

>>714956797 (OP)
flaunt those wagebaby feeders but cover those nipplies, dear
it's not yet time for sexy time
yes, dear?

>>714962617
that's just projection.
you either weren't around or have always been a somewhat disinterested gamer.

I have done and was aware of all the things you said people don't do.
and so have quite a few of my friends.
If you were passionate about video games, you would buy the magazines regularly, or have a subscription, which they all offered.
I even got a copy of wind waker by getting a one year subscription for one of the magazines.
you would also participate in forums and other online space things like IRC

I assume you are american or 25 or younger

>>714958887
it's hilariosu that things have regressed so much that MGS1 is 10x more of a game than the modern trash we get
and this isn't me praising mgs1

>>714962617
>Almost no one actually read them
Sounds like a (You) problem. Me and my friends would regularly buy game mags and read them.

>>714957275
>>714962652
I remember in one magazine I had there was a short news note about nude mod to Wow accompanied by a screenshot with nude succubus. I'm pretty sure my father saw it but he said nothing. Still I ended up covering it with marker because I feared I might get in trouble.

>>714962617
I'd read them as a kid. Their style was much better than modern game "journalism". OP is right, many of the sections sounded like effort posts on 4chan and /v/ humor, which was pretty comfy.

EGM Brasil...
Super Games Power...
Nintendo World...

What the fuck happened with this universe for us to end in such a gay ass timeline?
I GENUINELY hate faggots and trannies.

>>714962790
what game is she from anyways

>>714962617
Holy projection. Just because you were illiterate doesn't mean everyone else was.

>>714963259
age of conan

I remember looking through a game magazine in a store and seeing lewd fanart of Tifa, this was months before I got a PC and internet in the 90s

>>714963257
the world unironically ended in 2012 when occupy wallstreet happened which precipitated all the globohomo trannyfaggotry

>>714956797 (OP)
Things before white men ruined it...

>>714959796
>It really is strange how faggy the world became after Facebook and iPhone became popular
FTFY.
Normalfags storming the internet eventually made them leak into gaming as well, which brought in viral marketers and corporate cocksucking.

Gaming and the net used to be a literal nerdy guy's play thing. They still are, but the globohomo corpos are trying to put a similar leash on them as they did to television back in the day.

>>714963358
figures, thanks

>>714962617
no modern game review is worth reading today

>>714963434
This. Normgroids ruin everything by infesting it, and their psychopathic masters soon arrive and turn everything into a hierarchical feudal/corporate hell.

>>714963259
>he doesnt recognize the amazon babe from AoC
Shame on your house

>>714963565
she's legendary, but those leaky nipples deserve to be free

>>714963425
(((white men)))

>>714962617
no, you just never really cared about the thing that is supposedly your hobby.
either that or you're a zoomer who can't even conceive of how the world was back then

>>714963434
Gaming went from basically social suicide permaloser incel shit to something everyone does. Mouth breathers are now dangerously addicted to computers (phones, consoles, PCs, tablets) and will shame you for not playing instead of playing. NPCs have no opinions of their own. They are animals that exist to be manipulated and abused by psychopathic ubermensch. The so called goy im/golems. The jews are right.

>>714963434
Once the internet "hurdles" of use were removed, thus allowing women to access it, normalfags followed suit and entered the internet in search of pussy.
They soon realized that the men who built the internet were full blown autistic nerds and women would not entertain the thought.

The world ended when people were able to "like" your pictures. That simple thing put women's brains in a world breaking attention seeking overdrive.

>>714963898
normalfag beta cuck wageslave males flock to where the vaginal sex reward NPCs spawn. And then their psychopathic masters (who force them to breed, wageslave, consoom) take notice and ruin those hobbies even harder. It really do be like dat...

>>714963898
>The world ended when people were able to "like" your pictures
that last part is so holistically true

I have witnessed the death of discussion in multiple forums, once the ability to like a post was implemented. even worse when it is an up/downvote system

>>714956797 (OP)
>gothic 4

>>714956797 (OP)
>PC Action
fucking based

If I saw a gaming website saying shit like this nowadays, I'd cringe desu senpai
This was a product of its time, you simply cannot recreate it, and the proof is in the pudding because if there was a market for this stuff, then it would exist
Besides, that's what 4chan shitposting is for

for me, it was computer bild spiele

>>714957461
Wow, double layer DVD as an extra in 2003 is very impressive. My local magazines had just switched to the regular DVD's around that time (with some retaining 2CD versions for those still having no DVD drive).

>>714963617
If you bought the Age of Conan deluxe set there was an art book with a nude version of her, but I think it was only breasts.

>>714957461
This thread made me look up old Gamepro reviews and I just found out that Henry Ernst died seven years ago. RIP man, loved your Testchecks.

>Get a new Electronics Gaming Monthly
>Oh boy can't wait to see what new demos are on the cd
>They're all movie demos

>>714964585
>200something review
>they still substract points from the score because a 60MHz Pentium with 32MB RAM can't run it

>>714964884
Movie demos?

>>714964991
Probably meant trailers and shit.

>>714964816
>Henry Ernst died seven years ago
Was zum fick Anon?! Jetzt bin ich traurig.

>>714964781
huh she was actually fully nude, even the vulva
unbelievably based

>>714964816
Mick Schnelle from Gamestar bit the dust three years ago.

>>714964781
there's also this version where they censored the slit

>>714965058
Yeah. Rumor says he killed himself. I loved that guy.
>>714965221
I hate this gay world. Why are they all dying?

>>714965112
>>714965258
life was good back then

>>714956797 (OP)
For me, it was PC ACTION, too. By far the funniest gaming magazine that ever existed. Loved the "letters to the edtior" section where they would just take the piss out of their readers asking stupid questions.

>>714965336
yeah it sure was. I don't like the modern puritanical trend that normgroids are obsessed with, which is a shame because modern computers could easily render pic rel in real time but no we can't have that. Here's the playboy version

>>714965321
IIRC, in Mick's case covid.

>>714965441
Playboy December 2007

http://www.1pstart.com/merry-christmas-gamers-from-playboy/

>It seems the newest issue of Playboy (featuring some cover girl named Kim Kardashian, whoever that is), has a feature on video game girls. Specifically, and in order of the pictures below, are:
>Keaira - Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures
>Yoko Retomoto - Kane & Lynch
>Church and Black - Clive Barkerâs Jericho
>Moreen - The Witcher
>AâKanna - Conan
>Sarah Morrison - Richard Garriottâs Tabula Rosa

>With each very respectable artful pose of the characters is a little background on the characters. Remember people, before viewing the pictures, I am warning they are NOT SAFE FOR WORK. These are not porn pictures, they are video game girls so no fapping please kids. This is Playboys fourth year in doing this (first Iâve heard), either way, enjoy::

>>714961412
Literally me (8)
>>714965058
Literally who
>>714962308
I was two years as a child in germoney, lived in the only house near a building where a popular game mag had its offices and one level above there was a dentist and a soft porn mag, smudge of course. I don't remember the names, you don't happen to know famous 90s smudge magazines? AFAIK the west german ones have cult status in Central Europe, even in parts of South Europe, too. Not talking about playboy or the other premium porn mags, I'm talking the lowest we can get. Irc the women there were actually beautiful, as they were young, white, German women. That doesn't exist anymore, you only have brown people and tattooed girls in germoney nowadays. Sad!

My parents hid a playstation magazine I borrowed from a friend because it had a picture of RE3 Jill Valentine on the cover.
They didn't say anything though, even when I found it. Weird because the picture was of her from collarbone up.

>>714963259
who cares

Incite pc gaming had softcore porn stars on the cover, and would have photoshoot outtakes and behind the scenes footage on the disc. Besides demos, they also had random utility software and even music. Shit was great.
My dad used to buy incite, pc format, and pcgamer (as well as white dwarf) for me when I was like 10

>>714965258
one the gaming magazines that i bought as teenager had that exact version as a poster, it might've been CD-Action. good times

>>714956797 (OP)
Most of these gaming magazines are still in-print in Germany.

WE HAD IT SO GOOD BROS

>>714966016
piss dich alde

>>714956797 (OP)
More of an "all things PC" magazine, but with a hefty gaming section and occasional console articles, Mikrobitti was ubiquitous in Finland back in the 90s. It's still around but it's an absolute fucking joke compared to what it used to be.

Also the scoring system in top left is proof that 5/10 was never considered average, they literally say that under 60 out of 100 is below worth reviewing.

>>714959994
>be a kid
>trust them
>buy rayman 3
>its trash
All it took honestly

>>714966116
Like wtf, awesome.

>>714956797 (OP)
growing up as a kid in the 90s for me it was MANIAC

>>714966197
Don't get shot and raped in the bath club

>>714964585
>>714964936
I read the polish version but I remember the autistic tables they had at the end of reviews. Looking back at it it's ridiculous. 50% of the overall score is from gameplay, but you also have 4% for language (Silent Hill got 1/6 here because it was in English), 1% for saving system, 3% for manual, 2% for fucking phon helpline, 2% for how well it install and 1% for how well it uninstall.

>>714966116
I hate this so much

>>714965112
would have been 10/10 if she had a dick

>>714958887
when people were still brave enough to admit Parasite Eve is ass. Now we have to worship it because it's an old Square game.

>>714966227
I can somewhat understand Mysteries of the Sith, but Rebellion in 2nd place? And below Fallout? I guess you finns really like Star Wars.

>>714966512
kys faggot

>>714964585
I remember when Computer Bild had Digimon World as a free extra. That was insane.

I miss em so much

>>714966609
Well it's monthly sales for April 1998, only accounting for PC game sales, and only in the listed stores.
The next month the list looked like this.

>>714966762
I didn't even know there is a Digimon game on PC.

>>714966945
Wurfaffen, meme language

>>714956797 (OP)
>find out later the cooking show they added as a joke to every disc became a cult, but at the time it didn't interest me, because I was a kid
Qrd?

>>714965374
yeah, it was glorious

>>714965596
living like that sounds so cool, you were right at the heart of a production that entertained millions of people

>>714966242
that's on you for not having your own bad games detection instinct.

also rayman 3 isnt even bad. it was just not to your liking and reviewers score as objective as possible.

the review typically will explain many facets of the game and you can know wether you would like it or not

>>714966425
i loved it when they laid out their score system like that

>>714967475
Ye, I kinda invited myself there from time to time. Nowadays it's impossible for a kid to turn up to any office and say hi, especially not to a place that produces smudge. Unfortunately I forgot the names and can't look them up. They obviously moved as the building is gone nowadays. I left the county decades ago.

>>714967475
>loved it when they laid out their score system like that
Apparently too much asked for nowadays

>>714967585
yeah, I was spending quite a bit of time with adults on a work site, office or the local game store in my childhood.

growing up around older people and in "dangerous" environments is healthy for socialisation

No, your image translation websites/plugins are not broken - the captions really ARE like that.

>>714966242
>buy rayman 3
>its trash
Huh? It's a decent game. I liked it more than Rayman 2.

PC Zone and Mean Machines were the best mags. They didn't give a fuck about offending all the right people. Anything with the word Official on it was terrible as it was nothing more than an obsequious corporate mouthpiece.

>>714969000
>>714968926
>>714968781
>>714968640
god-tier headlines and articles

>>714968912
PC Action is still my personal GOAT, but agreed on the official part.
That's why Big N was a good nintendo magazine.

>>714969539
>ist herr fränkel ein skinhead?

>>714968006
Children should be raised at work and other places, not being brainwashed in schools where deranged people suggest castration.

>>714969912
true.
the adults taught me about girls, friendly hazing was normal, so you learned how to take and dish out banter, was taught how to stand up for yourself etc

>>714962617
You don't know what you're talking about. Video game magazines in Germany had a huge circulation back in the early 2000s. GameStar used to have a circulation of up to 360,000 sold copies, the mainstream ComputerBILD Spiele sold more than 700k copies during its heyday. PC Games used to sell around 270k copies, PC Action around 100k copies. Bravo Screenfun which used to target kids and teens sold another 200k.

>local dudebro magazine about vidya I used to read years ago going out of business
>check inside
>half the pages are ads and there's unironic feminist column seething about jap games

>>714964585
ComputerBild always told you how to pronounce those complicated English terms in German, it was hilarious.

>>714958887
Kojima ruined the industry.

>>714967251
what's dumber is their obsession to capitalize every noun

>>714968781
peak sexy. They don't do sexy like they used to.

>>714963105
>MGS1 is 10x more of a game than the modern trash we get
Yep.
I think FFXVI has 20+ hours of cutscenes

>>714964585
>tfw still have that cd holder somewhere with hundreds of disks from these

gotta fish em out sometimes.

>>714966116
FEET!

>>714965112
Just how far have we regressed...now a character with medium boobs and a little bit of cleavage showing is cause for controversy.

>>714971383
unless she is fat and black and trans.

>>714970181
Children should be able to earn their own money, too. Nowadays we have parks full of criminals and homeless people.

Does anyone remember pages like this in gaming magazines, but it for porn clips/vids? I remember having some mag I got for cheat codes as a kid and the back page being porn and freaking out that my parents would find out.

>>714972385
oh yeah, they were full of tits and offered a boomer version of only fans where you could have dirty talk with "women". Many a wank where had.

>tfw my mom threw all of my gaming mags away, a lot WITH THE DISC INCLUDED
She didn't even tell me. This was like 12 years ago and l'm still baffled when l think back on it

>>714973806
That sucks. But mom's like yours keep the value of my collectibles high.

>>714973806
My Mom did that as well. I was fucking furious.

PC Play #25, (32.99kn, pretty expensive for a magazine in 2000)
Baldur's Gate 2: Shadows of Amn walkthrough.

>>714970935
It's insane how much shit Kojimbo managed to get away with at the time and paved the way for cinematic movieslop, it wasn't until MGS4 where even the normgroids started to notice.

>>714974817
If you watch older snl episodes, it's a reoccurring theme. Women tend to throw things away they don't like, meaning everything. Doing it in secret is a show if dominance. His mom was likely having bad sex. Maybe yours, too?

>>714972385
Yeah I might have one of those among some old shit. I never bought, though.

>Find out about picrel
>Figure I can find a copy somewhere to buy, even at a high cost.
>It's nowhere on the Internet

I don't know how to go about getting my hands on this one.

the king has arrived

>>714977759
Japanese prints sound so eldrich and forgotten, but tons of them are digitized and archived on Internet Archive while tons fo Western prints can't be found online at all.

>>714956797 (OP)
They objectified women in order to sell more magazines.

>>714970619
What does Schrott mean in German? In Croatian it's chicken feed as in Chuck's Feed & Seed.

My step dad had a sub to EGM for a year, and I had the best shits of my little life that year

>>714977482
https://archive.gamehistory.org/item/3035cb5a-baf7-4f4d-bdc2-9d681c107ffe

>>714978813
You basically made a language mixed germanic, Russian and turkish/Persian words. Kek.
(still best eu country)

>>714978763
ugh ... based?
Anyone remember booth babes?
Publishers used to PAY professional models to come to their Gaming Conventions to hang out and be nice to the fans coming to see new games. Women were PAID to BE NICE. You could always go up to them, ask them for a picture and they would smile.

>>714978813
Schrott means trash, specifically human-made goods, which are damaged and probably unsalvagable.
Schrot is grinded wheat, which I assume is what chickens would like to eat and probably where the word originates from in Croation.

>>714956797 (OP)
ENTER

>>714979076
What a shit handheld this was

what could have been

>>714959268
>some episodes of PC Action kocht can still be found on youtube
I got these all from a single channel, might be all of them

>>714979142
Yeah, you only forgot Slavic, which is the most important ingredient. Kids today just mix English words with our syntax. The language will soon disappear.
>>714979273
I get it, it's spelled differently. Croats sometime say it in the same shit context, but associate it with chicken feed. There's a mouse eating my chickens' Schrot regularly. Picrel.

>>714980001
the channel name is literally called "PCA kocht"
this one is my favorite episode

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXo_M0PyOAI

>>714980378
>>714980001
based, thanks

>>714980283
Really? Aren't you like super nationalist? Or did eu fuck you up real good? If so, then rightfully so, because your criminal politicians were good goyim and did bend the knee faster than light.

>>714956797 (OP)
All of the reviews were written by retards only meant to push mainstream shit. No less paid shills than the online outlets we have today.

People bitch about how the internet killed these Magazines, but reality is that the companies behind them completely gutted the people illustrating and writing these for years and by 2011, also in part due to the 2007 financial crisis and subsequent recession along with AAA publishers blatantly buying them out, they were completely soulless and filled with corporate yes men retards pushing out sterilized garbage.
The internet was just the final nail in the coffin, it's a shame really, I'd still buy them if they were good, I still buy guns and car magazines.

>when review journalists were not lgbt types and DEI

>>714980692
2001 journalists were too politically incorrect for the soulless progressive generation put into media

>>714970726
That's the kind of shit that made me stop buying them

>>714980645
Nationalism means jack shit if your kids are raised by YouTube and BALLERINA CAPPUCINA. Croats just aren't interested in their kids at all, most young people don't even plan on starting a family. There'll be 1M of us left in a few decades.
>>714980692
2007 financial crisis is very much overstated. I'm sure it sucked for developed countries, but in shittier countries there was little to lose. Both of my parents worked back then and everything was fine.
>>714980752
I've read scans of Heavy Metal magazine on E-Hentai. Now those journos were politically incorrect!

>>714980752
I thought people were exaggering back then, likely because I wasn't American and was pretty liberal at the time.
But Obummer and his policies really fucked up the USA.

COMMENCING MINI DUMP, STAND BY.

>keeping the work intact

Remember when that was considered a valuable thing?

>>714981054

>>714980982
Everyone was too blinded by

>black president means racism is done and over right?

We didnt realize it was just a marxist move along for the years going forward

>>714980967
>Everything was fine
Every store was shutting down and people with menial jobs were counting pocket change.
Just because you didn't feel it doesn't mean it didn't happen.

It affected a shitton of people and affected a ahitton of companies, which is half the reason AAA even took hold of the industry with such a strong grip and everyone else was getting defunded, bought out or dying out.

>>714980484
np. I really hope someone uploads the whole DVD at some point, I think there's some outtake stuff that wasn't on the regular DVDs

>>714981131

>>714981286

>>714981147
His 2nd term was when I started really feeling it.
The mask was off by then

>>714980967
>BALLERINA CAPPUCINA
Brainrot
Most young kids are poor af and women are raised to be entitled low wage workers, not lovung mothers. I dated a Croatian women for like few days, until she said to me that she's born for more and she neither have interest, nor time for children and will certainly not ruin her body. She might consider hiring an Ukrainian women, if the right guy pays for everything, meaning world trip for three people.

>>714981368

>>714981373
the 1st term, it felt hopeful and like a new day. Then all my college buddies started to become insane with political politics. Lost a lot of them through arguments that shouldnt have happened.

>>714981453

>>714980967
>There'll be 1M of us left in a few decades
Maybe you shouldn't plan to import 1M Nepalese and Muslims?

>>714980717
Is Blast Corps really that good?

>>714981542

>>714962580
Age of Conan was really buggy, characters falling through the floor, npcs falling through the floor, unkillable mobs, quests that randomly broke, to name a few things.

>>714981640

>>714981786
END OF LINE. YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED SHITPOSTING MAY CONTINUE.

>>714957461
>>714958582
Insane how fast culture changes

>>714981872
I AM STANNURU

>>714981173
We obviously lived in different dimensions. Those marts were opening left and right, in literal villages too. There weren't as many giant construction projects except for roads. The biggest shit was happening to those who took loans in CHF instead of EUR. Everyone got broadband internet back in 2007-9. Flat screen TVs. Cars got GPS. The 2020-present Covid Crisis is way worse.
>>714981435
Motherhood really wrecks a woman's body, though. Slavic women turn to babushkas as soon as they reproduce, it's a well-known fact. My parents were wagies, I was raised by my grandmas, my older brother too. Parenthood isn't very important to Cro boomers. My dad was busy hunting and drinking, mom worked 12hr shifts and had to spend her days off sleeping. Parenthood is traditionally outsourced to grandparents in our culture. Great grandparents weren't very nice either. My grandma could only describe her father like this: "He wasn't a very nice man.", and that's for 1920s standards. Think twice before reproducing.
>>714981547
Importing people doesn't cause us reproducing less. We have no means to supprot our families. Too little money, too many expenses. Also women are really masculine.

>>714957461
>that bf vietnam caption
LOL

>>714982078
It was pushed to change rapidly by tons of investors and NGOs.

>>714982256
just call them women and jews

>>714964585
the magazine was garbage but the games were worth the price some times

>>714982185
>Also women are really masculine.
Due to media propaganda. Sure, shrinking net income is the #1 reason for shrinking birth rates. Studies are clear: wealthy people invest in themselves and in families. We don't want that, we want cheap workers that don't ask many questions and support <current thing>.

>>714980717
Unfathomably based Sushi X

>>714982338
>Women
No, just jews

>>714982185
I guess if you live in a shithole, even during recession things can only look up.

>>714968381
>Genügt es denn nicht, dass japanische Spielehelden durch die Bank aussehen, als wären sie auf dem Weg zu einem Schwulenporno-Casting
hat sich ja nicht viel verändert

>>714982078
NPCs are schizophrenic like that.

>>714968781
I wanked a few times to this game, it was alright

>>714980717
I want to slam some brewskies with Crispin over a C&C LAN party.

>>714980717

>>714982782
Dude, as a horny ass teen, I fapped to the side boob of Yuna. What the fuck was wrong with me

>>714982921

>>714982948
Hormones driving your sex drive to it's peak, plus no easy access to porn lioe nowadays.

>>714982948
yeah same here with stuff like pic rel
fuck I even remember jerking it to a nude female human in WoW
at some point I quit the game for over a year and was really surprised the first time I saw a nude orc in OG, forgot I still had the nude patch installed lol

>>714983092
yeah I had zero access and didnt have internet 24/7 at the time.

But let me tell you, the moment I was given my first hentai vhs from a friend, I fapped so much for that entire day

>>714982419
They always were masculine. All of them are hairy and have mustache. They swear, drink, drive like crazy and have Karen attitudes. Half of them are fat, others are muscular and frightening.
>>714982597
2007 recession was golden age compared to 2020s earthquakes.

>>714956797 (OP)
shame the internet killed of magazines in general

>>714956797 (OP)
For me early 2000s and video game magazines in Poland were peak

>>714983517
it didnt kill anything. society just killed the culture behind it. it did thrive on the internet, too, but it was overclouded by all the mainstream kike shit

>>714981147
>>714981373

>>714983517
See
>>714980692

>>714983557
They were peak in pretty much every region with few exceptions.

>>714983652
Trey and Matt are coddled retards with Hollywood money.
Things did change, for the worse.

>>714983805
>Trey and Matt are coddled retards with Hollywood money.
They're also jewish (at least one of them)

>>714980674
Games were very not mainstream back then

>>714983897
Matt is jewish
Trey isn't

>>714984085
might as well be with how he acts.

>>714984181
At least he isn't raising a niglet after the divorce

>>714984394
matt is such a failed jew. youre suppose to breed with whites or other high class races. not niggas. definitely an outcast jew

I used to trade my Gamepros for my friend's Nintendo Powers at summer camp. I remember reading about Earthbound coming out, and how exciting it was (it lived up to the hype for 12 year old me). Playing those big brick Gameboy FF games where you eat meat, and reading up all on all those games coming up is still a core 1990s memory for me.

>>714983375
The one I dated looked fantastic. I'm that kind of guy that completely blank out girls or women I'm not interested in, so I only saw bombshells there. Might be that there are other women, I wouldn't know.

>>714984975
that means your mind is normal. most men here in the US go after fatties even

>spiele

>>714958887
I get what he's saying a little bit, but the idea that you can't rewatch a movie is the most braindead take I think I've ever seen. You might not want to rewatch a game's "movie" because it's not a very good movie, but most games HAD the decency to skip them with button presses. Even Half-Life, which people shit on for the era of in-universe cutscenes, had console commands readily available to skip the most fluffed levels, and the sequel even straight up let you choose the chapters. Now you're just kind of fucked with console games hand-holding you along a scripted cutscene the entire game.

>>714985104
I know, obesity comes with bigger, faster, better. Few are actual ascets in the US. Goes against their propaganda. Consoom moar.

>>714956797 (OP)
the peak magazine was the playstation 2 magazine that had the metal gear solid 2 tanker section demo disk

>premium sex phone lines in mainstream gaming magazines
WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN

ENTER

>>714985796
>Purchased by Trans World
RIP

>>714985796
I wrote down all the Mortal Kombat fatalities here, as well as the Sonic debug mode code, forget which Sanic game that was. 2?

>>714985747
This was actually a good strategy. I bet they made a lot of cash from horny teenagers.

>>714986071
Apparently gamers were so hardcore they need drug awareness adverts in their mags.

>>714966116
I'd take the weirdest snoy ads over the endless nigger gay tranny shit we get today.

>>714956797 (OP)
These magazines were comfy but they all went woke and then broke

>>714957275
Why would he "whoop your ass" for looking at attractive women?

>>714985389
And the sad part is that they have ugly attitudes along with being fat

>>714964781
>>714965258
Supremely based

>>714985389
You don't even need to be ascetic, just don't eat so much that you fucking bloat up and turn into an abomination. Eat your fill and no more than that, maybe a snack or two a couple times a week if you feel like it, between meals. I cannot fucking comprehend these people that consume so much sustenance when they don't need it that it utterly destroys them and their bodies.

>>714986781
For all what's worth, they are fat because they lack impulse control. Literally mentally ill, hence yabba. What do you expect, that she's kind of loveable? Lol
>>714986972
The better your diet, the less snacks you want/need. I treat myself like 3 times a year, if I'm not stressed in a Job, or daily, if I am. Stress is what turns people into monkeys. Fat people put sugar into their coke or lemonade. What else is there to say?

>>714987119
>For all what's worth, they are fat because they lack impulse control. Literally mentally ill, hence yabba. What do you expect, that she's kind of loveable? Lol
well Im thinking logically like a man. if youre fat, you should be nicer to compensate

>>714981286
>>714981368
>>714981453
>>714981542
>>714981640
Fucked up how the ps2 official magazine had the exact same reviews in UK and France and I suppose all of Europe. But they pretend like there was a team delegated to writing unique papers by country when it was the product of a singular entity. That preview is the one I got in the french one, everything is similar. Paragraph by paragraph.

>>714987220
People that are the cause of their own problems, tend to cause problems for everyone else too. Life isn't a videogame stat weight balancing act.

Why did the video game magazines I used to buy in UK have adverts with naked women?

>>714986972
>forgot to add
It's sin. You can't eat more than you should, it leads to overpeoduction and massive destruction and consumption of overproduction. Ai is used to regulate, but this implies that ai will also eventually start to decide who will get what and that will lead to Mao levels of starvation, given how much goverment loans are put into military equipment. In an economically weak phase. Genius!

>>714987306
then explain skinny girls with terrible attitude problems

>>714987380
overeating can also cause cancer

>>714982948
It means you were Based.

>>714987378
'cuz bong mags were aimed at horny teenagers buying mags from the local paper shop run by maki the paki.

>>714987220
Which is true, but the literally can't. They see, they want. Not getting it? Wuaaaa

>>714987397
Being malnourished and underdeveloped is not a positive either.

>>714987523
>mags were aimed at boys and men

Fixed.

>>714984531
found it too

>>714987685
dude, Im talking healthy looking girls that still have snobby attitudes. Which Ive ran into in the tons

>>714959021
Don't forget his other piece of ground-breaking journalism

>>714987709
Well they certainly weren't aimed at girls that is true. I do have the edit someone made of this

>>714962790
We'll go back one day won't we bros...

Been thinking I should make a fake videogame magazine VN about some made up videogame, and make it look like a 90's magazine explaining the lore and characters, gameplay and other facts.

But make it on godot, and make it like those magical sci fi magazines of harry potter and minority report.

But I honestly wonder if zoomerinos would play a VN that is more like an old animated videogame magazine similar to 1960 digest reader PDF.

>>714987910
just get rid of jews. problem solves itself

>>714987819
Looks like the ending of RE4.

>video game reviews used to be cool and reviewers had technical knowledge and were actually trying
what the fuck happened

>>714988101
Look up Hypnospace Outlaw. It somewhat similar to what you're talking about.

>>714989067
Effectively people who give no fucks about vidya but wanted a journalism job but couldn't cut the mustard in real publications became the backbone.

>>714956797 (OP)
PC Action was the shit. They were true print media shitposters and it's a shame the got canned

I remember game magazines. I used to steal the playstation demo disks until I got caught and had to pay for one. Store owner watched me like a hawk after that so I couldn't steal anymore

>>714989659
Post hand

>>714989067
"games are art" crowd aka "remove the gameplay from games and turn them into films" infiltrated the industry.

>>714959021
That was based but it's too bad Steve became a total shill in the 2010s

>>714956797 (OP)
>Left 4 Dead mentioned

Based

>>714958242
Is this sex?

>>714960258
the old E3 tours were so good.

>>714986752
Around 2011-2012 they were already pushing for the "games and gamers need to grow up" bullshit.

Nothing but numale locusts in those companies at that point.

>>714988273
NWF

>>714989067
This
>>714989486
But add the fact that in that crowd there are nothing more than nepobabies with rich daddies.

>>714980717
>ninja reviewer

what was it with games magazines always having "that one" writer?

>>714993182
thats called true diversity

>>714956797 (OP)
I miss hanging out after school with a couple of my best friends, all of us circled around a PSM cover with some half exposed bimbo's tits on full display, each of us masturbating furiously. The smells and sounds that filled my bedroom, let me tell you. Good times.

>>714958242
Age of Conan, not to be confused with Conan Unchained by the same company. I think the servers are still up and it's worth messing around in the 1-20 area because the story is quite good and well done there, and it's free to play. After that the budget fell off or something and the game became a standard kill 10 quest MMO.

>>714981610
not THAT good but pretty good and also a fairly unique concept and execution.
definitely worth a play

>>714965258
Is Aoc still playable btw?

>>714957408
He's too busy cheating the goyim.

>>714975736
Jarane imal' vrućine?

>>714956797 (OP)
I used to go to a store that had older unsold issues of those for a fraction of the cost. Felt like a treasure haul every time.
I remember getting all the best games that way. Fallout, Unreal, Total Annihilation, Quake. My kid ass didn't care it was several years after the original releases.

>>714993931
I remember seeing that pic. And the fact they get away with it cause of the Fed is insane.

>>714995020
16 stupnjeva, ja u dugačkom.

Few years ago, I grabbed some issue of certain magazine that I used to buy regularly as a kid. Literally half of pages were filled with ads, little text left, dumb memes everywhere, ratings based on how reviewer "felt" during playing and creame on top - editors commentaries section, with lengthy text about how internet needs obligatory ID card login for everything so editors might track "haters" and apply justice and right next to it - text from (token) female editor about how she enjoys roleplaying rape. I shit you not.

Magazine is dead already. At this point, nothing of value was lost. But I miss those good 90s and early 2000s times.

>>714996852
Trenutno i kod mene u Hercegovini 16.

>>714966116
I love this so much

>>714996447
>Fed

>>714997420
sounds brutal, but that's how it is now with the ads everywhere.

we used to have a free newspaper that you could pick up at every bus/tram stop in the morning. it was always a shitrag, but good enough to get a TL;DR on current happenings and it had a good double page with crossword puzzles and other games.

Last time I read that regularly was like 2008. I picked one up again not too long ago and it was about half as thick as it used to be and basically 60% ads.
No puzzle section iirc either.

trash

>>714982948
You were a normal heterosexual teenage boy with excellent refined taste

>>714996852
I evo ako the ime moje zbunjuje.

>>714997635
Woodrow Wilson really doomed America, and by extension the entire west.

>>714997925
>we used to have a free newspaper

Most US newspapers were bought up using banker money. Look into people like Rupert Murdoch.

>>714998146
WW, FDR, and Nixon were the frontrunners.

>>714998126
Haha sjećam se tog svemirskog fenomena u obliku čudovišta iz Dooma

>>714998146
>Titanic built to be destroyed in purpose of seizing power
>Twin Towers built to be destoyed in purpose of seizing control
Notice a pattern here?

>>714998790
nta but I always noticed how they love taking down behemoth objects for their own gains. I bet they had insurance on the titanic too

>>714998507
Riječ Božija.

>>714998790
Cool it with the anti semitism

>>714998790
OY VEY THIS IS NOT VIDEOGAMES REPORTED FOR BEING A /POL/ NAZI

>>714957461
Speak fucking english gercucks, this shit is unreadable

>>714999427
Happy now?

>>714986776
Because his dad is a closeted faggot

>>714999658
Wonder hows the gameplay

>>714956797 (OP)
TOTAL! was the best gaming magazine I ever read. Eventually it just stopped :(

>>714982948
>What the fuck was wrong with me
the same thing that is wrong with you now, expect i isn't wrong at all, it's called having taste and you sir were and will always be cultured for that

>>714999778
The usual. Gets a bit repetitive though.

>>714998163
not in the US. Switzerland.
But thanks for the info anyway

>>714989486
This, literally this, compare how one of your friends sells you a game he played recently and says how he experienced it and pick any of those "game journalists" and how they "review" games, it's literally night and day, and i use friends as an example because one of them sold me on playing Planescape, and honestly it has beed a great experience overall.

>>714993182
You know how companies hire "minorities" to become "diversified", yeah? That was that but good instead of pure garbage.

>>714999658
now the excitebike main theme is on loop in my mind, thanks shlomo

What are the names of popular German or European gaming and smudge magazines from the 90s?

>>714979076
Damn. The cover art is so good but the contents are god awful.

>>715001870
for gaming it was the Gamestar and ComputerBILD spiele, maybe the Bravo Screenfun.
PC Action and the Big N/N-Games and N-Zone had a bit more of a cult following thanks to somewhat (or in the case of PC Action) a lot edgier writing and general image.

Don't know for smut, literally never got one because you could see softcore porn after midnight on TV and I used the internet by 2001 regularly

>>715002507
>Bravo Screenfun
I think this was the mag I was looking for, right. Awesome, brings back memories. Screen fun is a good name. Very good name, actually.

>>715002753
no worries, glad you found what you were looking for.
bravo in general i think did a great service to the young teenage public.

they did more sexual education in a way that didn't feel preachy or too cringe than the entirety of the school system and parents combined

>>715003000
Education itself is preachy and it barely got better over the decades. It's actually about control, always was. It creates working class people, not actual educated people.

>>714958887
The fact that it came from the Naughty Dog president is absolute pottery

>>715001870
GameStar, PC Games, PC Action, ComputerBILD Spiele, but I would say that only GameStar and PC Action were actually considered good back in the days. GameStar used to have some journalistic integrity when it was still owned by IDG, while PC Action was just outright funny to read. ComputerBILD Spiele was by far the most popular magazine, but their readers were considered dummies.

>>714982948
Baggers can't be chewers

>>715004049
i always got the vibe that gamestar and computerbild spiele was normie literature.

not bad by any means just too clinical and boring. especially when you have a PC Action to compare

>>715004049
What's idg

>>715001870
Russians had LKI and Igromania, one of those magazines did an excellent article on debunking the back then prevalent scare of "videogames cause violence" with simple and effective examples.