Part 1/3

In part 2 and 3, I'll show you why she's the biggest fraud of all time. In this post, I'll explain why.

Samus was created in 1986, at a time when women were exceptionally rare in games. Just the fact that Samus was a woman was a HUGE revelation back then.

To make zoomers understand, we had gaming mags in the 90s, where the readers thought that the only female staff member of the mag was made up because "women didn't play games".

It's difficult to understand today, but that's how it was back then.

Samus always had the reputation of being strong and powerful. She could kick anyone's ass...except she had to use her power suit.

See, without her power suit, Samus is just a normal woman with some special Chozo DNA injected to her (which does nothing for her physical strength).

Samus is not physically strong, never was, and I'll show you why in part 2 and 3.

what is bro yapping about

Part 2/3
Now, for these two parts I'll show you undeniable, visual proof that Samus is just a common woman with a soft body.

I dare you to refute any of the seven points I'll give you. Try to refute any of them. ANY.

1) She has big boobs. This is a surefire sign of high body fat, which explains the rest of her body.

2) She has zero abs. Take a good look at that belly. ZERO abs. Nothing.

3) Her legs are HUGE. One thigh is literally bigger than her waist.

4) Her arms look like skinny sticks. No muscle there, just your average female arms with little to no muscle.

Part 3/3

5) A big, flabby ass. Just look at that thing. It's huge, and it sags noticably.

6) Her back, just like her belly, has zero tone.

7) Her thighs are fat and rub together, just like fat thighs do.

As I said, come at me. Try to refute ANY of these 7 points, and I'll crush you like worms.

Is this Sybb’s new shtick? Either way,
>Sybb thread

>>714963413

>>714963614
Actually here, it was bigger before I nerfed it

>>714963614
How the fuck is that any smaller?

>>714963172 (OP)
Incorrect in the first post, samus' chozo DNA directly increases her physical strength. Did not read any further.

>>714963707
It doesn't. It was only injected to make her withstand certain planets' atmospheres. This is stated in the official manga.

Her Chozo DNA has zero to do with physical strength.

>>714963670
The edit I did originally had a bigger butt, as seen below that edit. I also did some color edits with the bigger butt(I like doing Samus color edits)

>>714963805
The only difference is that you removed parts of her zero suit. The ass is identical. Troll somewhere else.

>>714963172 (OP)
So your claim basically was true back in the day. Thanks to retroactive continuity, she has been rewritten to be basically supernaturally strong from her new space genes. So you can kvetch about it all you like, but thats the way it is past the first few games.

>>714963925
You're fucking stupid, compare
>>714963614
>>714963664
Those two, this is why the filename had "smaller butt"

>>714963960
Incorrect. She's never been physically strong without her power suit. Not in a single game that is canonical (which leaves out the Smash games).

She's always been a normal woman with superhuman mental strength (which is what hold her power suit together according to series's producer Sakamoto.

Has Samus really ever been known for being physically strong, though?

As far as I have known her, she's been known for being a beautiful blonde with a surprisingly fat butt.

>>714963614
>>714963664
ok so which one is better?

btw imagine making tea out of that sweet thong

>>714964051
just slightly different shading/lighting

>>714963614
Her butt looks even bigger when you see it with bare skin like this. Holy shit that thing is HUGE.

>>714963486
I was wondering why there were PN03 threads in the catalog again the last couple of days, does that giga autist have any other fixations besides samus's flabby nonathletic ass, peach/zelda not being 'family friendly' or being the only person on earth that cares about PN03

Just got a text message from Sammy.

She said OP loves sucking penis.

sex with balls

>>714965002
...I never considered this. Now I am.

tldr summary: sex with samus

>>714963324
>>714963413
I think most people agree with this, but the problem is that people still THINK of Samus as a badass. What I mean is that gamers have a mental image of Samus as a badass, but visually she looks like a soft-bodied girl next door with a cow tits and a flabby butt.

>>714965202
yes

>>714963172 (OP)
>>714964096

Does it really matter if she is not, herself, exceptionally physically strong? Most of the time she's in a Powered suit that can enhance her strength to the level needed.

>>714963172 (OP)
It’s been awhile since we had a schizo poster who puts this much effort into retardation. I for one wholeheartedly embrace it.

>>714964292
Zero Mission made it clear that she’s incredibly athletic. She’s not a bodybuilder or anything, but she’s extremely agile, flexible, and can pull off gymnastic feats without breaking a sweat. That still requires an enormous amount of strength imo.

I have no idea what OP is talking about. Seems like schizo ramblings from someone who doesn’t understand that sometimes character designs don’t match up with what someone with an equivalent skillset would look like in real life. Samus’ later designs (particularly Samus Returns and Dread) do a much better job of making her look like a real gymnast.

>>714965290
She was raised by warrior bird monks and enhanced with their DNA. She's stronger than the average human.

Purple Samus > Black Samus > Orange Samus > Blue Samus

>>714965435
>Zero Mission made it clear that she’s incredibly athletic.
Are you literally fucking retarded? You judge by her actions instead of by her looks.

Rufus is Street Fighter IV is a complete fatass, yet a competent fighter because it's a VIDEOGAME.

You have to judge Samus based on her looks, as any videogame character can pull off impossible stunts and moves, no matter what they look like.

>>714965512
>this character is a fraud because they look like they shouldn’t be able to do that
>but it’s a video game so it doesn’t matter
>but also you’re a retard for thinking that is a valid point in a video game discussion
Are you autistic?

IS THAT AN ASS MOVING WHILE THE WOMAN IT IS ATTACHED TO IS WALKING?
AAAAAA I'M GOING INSANE

>>714965664
So you're autistic because you tell people to judge fitness based on looks?

Are you retarded, or are you just a low level troll?

every point here can apply to iron man as well so what?

>>714965676

Kill yourself sybb

>>714965731
I don’t think you’re understanding what I’m writing at all.

What I’m saying is that you can’t entirely judge the capabilities of video game characters, or fictional characters in general, because oftentimes the rules of their world aren’t defined by realism.

Take the “tiny girl who can wield a hammer four times her size” trope a lot of JRPGs have; this is physically impossible, especially given how few times these girls are shown to have any muscle, but the reader/player/viewer doesn’t need to care about that because it’s a fictional setting with different established rules from reality. Obviously the more realistic the work, the harder this is to pull off (you wouldn’t be able to throw a character such as Samus into Ozark and have it work, for example), but that’s beside the point.

My point is that Metroid is a series with rules, technology, and designs that don’t have much regard for physical reality, so there is no reason to judge the capabilities of the characters against what we know to be true in the real world.

>fraud
Death battle shit is gay kill yourself

i dont understand OPs point sure she is weak without the suit but do you think anyone could put on her suit and do the same things? her mind and skill comes in as well

>>714963172 (OP)
>>714963324
>>714963413
Hmmm? Bird. Birdy. Birdy Birdy.

>>714963324
Tl;dr

I would rape Samus in real life. And give her rape correction.

Nigger, chimps are crazy strong but they are lanky as fuck. They just have really dense muscles. It's probably the same for samus.

>>714966743
you know she ha reflexes right she would knock you onto your ass

>>714966192
That's right.

>>714966830
>submissive man
>wants to be dominated by Samus
>only a matter of time before he comes out at trans or mentally ill

>>714966743
I will dress you up as zero suit Samus and destroy your balls you little sissy

>>714966743
She would break your pelvic bone.

>>714966912
>talking about women
>first thought is about trannies
Sounds like a (You) problem, lil unc.

>>714966830
>>714967056
>>714967083
>"Men" who play female protagonists in games
KEK. Hit the gym pal

>>714967156
>Terminally online gooner

Man I didn't read a single word of that, like not even one.
I just want Samus to be my 6 foot + autistic house wife
I want to put her in cute outfits and spank her and put about 20 kids into her womb back to back, thank you for listening to my Ted talk.

>>714967418
sylux now thats someone i haven't seen in a while
liked him since prime hunters, but where does their story go with all that teasing in all those trailers ?

>>714963172 (OP)
This. Samus is a joke. Just like 2B and Eve from Stellar Blade. If you're 400 pounds and male, you could probably pin them down and rape them with zero effort. Even Japanese people know it

>>714967626
Imagine raping Samus in her flabby ass...

>>714965512
Even if we take this into account, the games, the manga, and other materials all explicitly say that she’s physically capable without the Varia Suit and can do acrobatic shit no problem. It’s established lore that’s reinforced by how she moves in the Zero Suit in various games.

>>714967801
I'd rather marry her and free use her. Samus making you take her by force would be hot.

>>714967801
Imagine Samus rimming your flabby swamp ass...

>>714967970
Sounds interesting, anon. Wanna go on?

>>714967914
The single only instance where anything official remarks Samus as physically capable, is the manga when she trains with the Chozo in her teens.

That's it.

And that's not weird, because that's basically a way to tell the reader that Samus isn't a kid anymore, but a teen who can take care of herself.

if zero suit samus is so good then where is one suit samus

>>714968083
Imagine you come home from work, you're in a bad mood and there she is in some kinda cute outfit and she can tell you're pretty surly and you're like, "Bed room now", and she just says, "Make me".

Imagine in slow motion my foot rising up as it connects with anons crotch as they're dressed as zero suit Samus, their testicles slowly being crushed as I kick them

>>714968232
You're not up for her bullshit and smack her ass. It flattens almost completely and jiggles around before settling.

You tell her how much it jiggles, and her mouth goes wide and open, in a shock reaction to your audacity.

>>714968409
She'd probably expect/anticipate you giving her like a fully arm pulled back slap across the face.

Was this thread just a front for OP to talk about Samus’ ass?

>>714969507
Always is son

>>714963278
Muh power levels

>0 dark samus feet pics
disappointing thread

>>714969507
Yes, sybb has been doing this for 20 years.

>>714969507
m8 OP has literally been doing this for over a decade. Shit maybe 20 years.

>>714963172 (OP)
>which does nothing for her physical strength
Mawkin DNA makes her physically superhuman
>She has zero abs
If you have abs over a toned stomach as a man or woman, it does not matter; you're taking steroids or you're dyle. Natural 6-pack or whatever is completely and utterly impossible for any human.
>Her arms look like skinny sticks
Women arms can't get as big as men unless they're on roids, that's why women women do have big arms it looks disgusting to us, because it looks like a man's arm.

Please die Sybb, and stop jacking off to steroid women. You're already autistic, don't become a roidtranny too.

>>714965435
Yeah, is of natural build, not a roid bitch like Sybb believed she was

>>714965459
Yup, it's the Master Chief situation.