Why doesn't Samus have a boyfriend? - /v/ (#715231671) [Archived: 425 hours ago]

Anonymous
7/12/2025, 7:41:38 AM No.715231671
zero-mission
zero-mission
md5: 1efef9abc048e86a110312354364da19🔍
Peach has Mario, Daisy has Luigi, Zelda has Link. But Samus doesn't have anyone. Why?

Is she asexual?
Is she gay?
Is she trans?

https://strawpoll.com/40Zm4NPKwga
Replies: >>715232005 >>715232438 >>715232447 >>715232505 >>715232603 >>715232621 >>715233319
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 7:44:10 AM No.715231821
She has a husband (Me)
Replies: >>715231963
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 7:45:28 AM No.715231889
is it true that sybb got traumatised by his mom's ass and thats why he's obsessed with samus ass
Replies: >>715232447
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 7:46:51 AM No.715231963
>>715231821
Anon, you're not a videogame character.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 7:47:40 AM No.715232005
>>715231671 (OP)
Having a romantic interest does nothing for the series. Not the gameplay, not the overarching plot, or even the character of Samus. It's a non-factor and changing that would cheapen the series and be character assassination comparable to what we saw in Other M.
Replies: >>715232094 >>715232621
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 7:49:16 AM No.715232094
>>715232005
Are you fucking retarded? Why woould love do nothing for the series? It entirely depends on how it's used.
Replies: >>715232394
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 7:55:16 AM No.715232394
>>715232094
>Are you fucking retarded
Take a good long look in the mirror and ask yourself that question, not me. There is no reason for it to exist, you just want your waifu to get railed like the cuck that you are. Not everyone needs to be tied to another human romantically/sexually, I don't get why people can't understand that it absolutely doesn't fit the tone of the series. Get a grip.
Replies: >>715232510
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 7:55:58 AM No.715232438
>>715231671 (OP)
She's traumatized and busy
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 7:56:10 AM No.715232446
MorphBall_Prime
MorphBall_Prime
md5: 30343a47ce8e1c031dac6ea2133cd3a1🔍
Sex with balls
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 7:56:10 AM No.715232447
1752071782347
1752071782347
md5: 43856dae6e8dff4028b402cf55214b09🔍
>>715231671 (OP)
kill yourself sybb
>>715231889
yes
Replies: >>715232692 >>715232895
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 7:57:17 AM No.715232505
>>715231671 (OP)
she's married to her job, obviously
Replies: >>715232692
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 7:57:20 AM No.715232510
>>715232394
Samus is a human being and has human needs for connection, intimacy and sex.
Replies: >>715233984
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 7:59:07 AM No.715232603
>>715231671 (OP)
She has black men to keep her satisfied every night something a white man would never be able to.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 7:59:33 AM No.715232621
>>715231671 (OP)
She is mines. Lord that Zero Mission Art is gorgeous. We need this in game for the next Metroid game. Dread was boring.

>>715232005
Another clown. Other M was not character assassination dumbass
Replies: >>715232714
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:00:53 AM No.715232692
>>715232505
Rational answer.
>>715232447
Projecting yourself in a way that is, frankly, very depressing. Seek professional help or if this is an emergency, please dial #988.
Making Samus all of the sudden be craving 'intimacy and connection' flies in the face of every game that came before it, it makes zero sense in the narrative. Knock it off, dill-weed.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:01:18 AM No.715232714
>>715232621
>Lord that Zero Mission Art is gorgeous.
It is?
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:02:15 AM No.715232771
>Sybb is in his 40s still doing this shit
Replies: >>715232895
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:04:51 AM No.715232895
>>715232447
>>715232771
Doxxing is against the rules.
Replies: >>715233041 >>715233047 >>715233283
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:08:08 AM No.715233041
>>715232895
Kill yourself Sybb. Fucking kill yourself and spare the rest of us your continued existence. You spam threads like this every single fucking day so let's not pretend you have a life worth holding on to.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:08:16 AM No.715233047
>>715232895
Ignore him. It's a mentally ill schizo.
Replies: >>715233283
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:12:37 AM No.715233283
haman
haman
md5: 3a6ced90d096183824432ded3e0ab3db🔍
>>715232895
>>715233047
>samefagging
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:13:09 AM No.715233319
samnude
samnude
md5: 620ff253196fcf6589e6d0abb07ba238🔍
>>715231671 (OP)
Replies: >>715233432 >>715233481 >>715233880
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:15:23 AM No.715233432
>>715233319
Nice try, but that just makes her ass look even more saggy.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:16:21 AM No.715233481
>>715233319
>no QoS tattoo
This is a really shitty edit.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:18:17 AM No.715233591
1752301076350
1752301076350
md5: 8a663f4fe20243a85de8cd885637da9b🔍
Because romanceslop and relationshipshit don't belong in video games.
Replies: >>715234090
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:23:20 AM No.715233880
>>715233319
What a sad ass
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:25:15 AM No.715233984
>>715232510
>Samus is a human being and has human needs for connection, intimacy and sex.
Especially anal sex
Replies: >>715235359
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:27:16 AM No.715234090
>>715233591
Basado....!
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:28:09 AM No.715234130
?
isn't metroid her boyfriend
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:53:20 AM No.715235359
>>715233984
Imagine the jiggling when you fuck Samus in doggy