Thread 715239547 - /v/ [Archived: 337 hours ago]

Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:25:40 AM No.715239547
Jesus
Jesus
md5: 3379c2e529ace5c4a87ba3503c8ff7f6🔍
What would His boss fight look like?
Replies: >>715239672 >>715239713 >>715239716 >>715239717 >>715239759 >>715240273 >>715240352 >>715240780 >>715241365 >>715241382 >>715241476 >>715242253 >>715242971 >>715245909 >>715246009 >>715246117 >>715248232 >>715248357 >>715249709 >>715250169 >>715250807 >>715251013 >>715251087
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:26:38 AM No.715239585
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7QLwpL5UE0
Replies: >>715239747
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:28:02 AM No.715239642
>just stands arounds doing nothing
>asks you to kill him so that he may die for (you)r sins
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:28:37 AM No.715239672
>>715239547 (OP)
Like killing the Boss in the flower fields. But after you pull the trigger and leave he pops back up and says WOOOOOOOOOW
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:29:46 AM No.715239713
>>715239547 (OP)
White boys wearing thigh highs & arm gloves pumping estrogen into themselves while they bounce up & down on dildos which eventually make them cum buckets
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:29:53 AM No.715239716
>>715239547 (OP)
He could just turn the water in your body into wine, instantly killing anyone.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:29:54 AM No.715239717
>>715239547 (OP)
like fighting a healer with no damage spells. i imagine it would be similar to being miquella'd
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:30:32 AM No.715239741
[RAIN OF SPIDERS]
Replies: >>715240067
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:30:45 AM No.715239747
>>715239585
>average silent hill 2 boss fight
saucy
7/12/2025, 10:31:10 AM No.715239759
>>715239547 (OP)
https://youtu.be/1rJBP0jz95M
Replies: >>715243964
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:31:43 AM No.715239774
>For you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.
The boss fight starts with an ambush like the surprise Margit fight on Atlus Plateau

>But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar, and the heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and the works that are done on it will be exposed.
The ambush will be with a giant meteor attack that burns away the planets and leaves a giant crater (imagine basically Radahn's meteor strike).
>From his mouth came a sharp sword to strike down the nations. He will rule them with an iron rod. He will release the fierce wrath of God, the Almighty, like juice flowing from a winepress.
His main attack will be a sword he holds in his mouth, but he will also have a heavy iron rod for bashing attacks and he can use his other hand to trigger waves of wine to push you back.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:33:45 AM No.715239845
Why does Jesus look angry in OPs picture?
Replies: >>715239946
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:34:15 AM No.715239861
Beetle yeet_thumb.jpg
Beetle yeet_thumb.jpg
md5: b9bf0325bca35c4d4f43360ccb937d11🔍
>40% of his attacks would be beetle related
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:36:34 AM No.715239935
>You've crossed me for the last time!

Boss music
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:36:42 AM No.715239946
>>715239845
Anger is not a sin on its own, like when he drove the money lenders from the temple. When it was necessary to do good he had no problems picking up a whip and shouting.
Replies: >>715241338
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:40:05 AM No.715240067
1733909399514408_thumb.jpg
1733909399514408_thumb.jpg
md5: 09d5c9e3c07f5f0f70536adf1c17852a🔍
>>715239741
Fuck you Gary.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:45:48 AM No.715240273
>>715239547 (OP)
Where the heck did Jesus get that t-shirt?
Replies: >>715240381
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:47:40 AM No.715240352
>>715239547 (OP)
You have the entire event of Armageddon to draw from, as described in the bible.
Replies: >>715240397
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:48:39 AM No.715240381
>>715240273
ur mom xDDDD lololol
saucy
7/12/2025, 10:49:10 AM No.715240397
>>715240352
Pizza Tower has religious imagery in it.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:49:11 AM No.715240403
>Jesus used Turn Other Cheek
>Your move missed!
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:58:07 AM No.715240780
>>715239547 (OP)
Wields the wooden cross from its top like a gigantic greatsword, but swings it around like it was a regular sized sword. Occasionally casts rays of light from above that you have to avoid like a bullet hell game. Part of the fight takes place in large body of water, where you have to desperately swim back to shore while he walks on the water alongside you and tries to stab you with his cross.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:07:54 AM No.715241195
Super_Mecha_Death_Christ_2000_BC_Version_4.0_Beta
Super_Mecha_Death_Christ_2000_BC_Version_4.0_Beta
md5: b0c1abb323f9b1ad9aa382bd6ac59605🔍
>FUCKERS!
Replies: >>715241292
saucy
7/12/2025, 11:10:00 AM No.715241292
file
file
md5: 4706239b77975640b667bfd583025d52🔍
>>715241195
I like when it's wacky. Real Evangelion stuff is funny to me.

https://youtu.be/VwN0CqFo4rY
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:10:05 AM No.715241297
Saint onii-san
Saint onii-san
md5: c3e52c33246399484e7a1a53b835a815🔍
>kill Jesus
>he comes back 3 days later to fight you with Buddha
Replies: >>715241514
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:10:47 AM No.715241338
>>715239946
That doesn't answer why he's looking angry in this specific picture though.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:11:31 AM No.715241365
>>715239547 (OP)
punching bag and turn the other cheek. he wins if he dies.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:11:44 AM No.715241382
>>715239547 (OP)
we already saw his boss fight
https://youtu.be/djwq-8RxsoQ?t=93
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:13:45 AM No.715241476
Temple
Temple
md5: c346003f5313ffdd23684f3e58ad169d🔍
>>715239547 (OP)
He doesn't and the fight is a cakewalk/
However, playing a roman, a merchant, or hitting him on both cheeks immediately initiates a secret phase where he whips out a scourge and its gloves off.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:14:32 AM No.715241514
>>715241297
its funny because in apocrypha jesus travels east to study
that's why theres nothing about his teenage years
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:15:05 AM No.715241538
He wouldn't fight you, and he'd still win.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:16:14 AM No.715241582
first phase
>Jesus, the Holy Son
angel like figure with holy powers, very powerful and cinematic

second phase
>Jesus (Of Nazareth)
human jesus with normal attire, fistfight only
Replies: >>715241668 >>715241749 >>715243154 >>715243740 >>715246228
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:18:12 AM No.715241663
1749995549180208
1749995549180208
md5: 0ef5ccbcc364cf5b9d301b93abb047ea🔍
>DON'T SAVE THEM
>KILL THEM
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:18:23 AM No.715241668
>>715241582
Genuinely a kino boss trope
Any games with that?
Replies: >>715241762 >>715242145 >>715246023
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:18:24 AM No.715241669
20250628_184134
20250628_184134
md5: d1fcddd97ec2dc8e8ab6e3ae4eaf2acc🔍
Ask Kratos...
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:18:28 AM No.715241675
His boss intro:
https://youtu.be/FI0SvxhE-3c
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:19:54 AM No.715241749
>>715241582
his second phase has unblockable krav maga moves
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:20:16 AM No.715241762
>>715241668
nta but i feel like the last boss fight with Ocelot in MGS4 is kinda similar. basically a nostalgia fest until the last phase when their current forms as old broken men struggle to hobble towards each other and punch.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:21:30 AM No.715241813
>he forgives you
>you win
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:24:01 AM No.715241935
Watch Drifters
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:28:43 AM No.715242145
>>715241668
MGS1
Final boss is you and your weapons vs a machine built for mass destruction. Second phase has you fist fighting the pilot.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:31:19 AM No.715242253
>>715239547 (OP)
Jesus canonically has complete causal knowledge of the world as a system - he can tell you with certainty what will happen in any day in the future at any time. This is pretty much the most OP power as he can tell exactly what you will do before you even think of doing it. If he's hit it's specifically because he wants that to happen.
Replies: >>715242850
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:44:02 AM No.715242850
>>715242253
Can he give me next week's lottery numbers? It's not technically gambling if I already know the winning numbers...
Replies: >>715246093 >>715249748
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:46:10 AM No.715242971
1748009889719893
1748009889719893
md5: 0f071ed4983d07598a4a0b900f2d1035🔍
>>715239547 (OP)
>you kill him
>he wins
literally unbeatable
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:50:03 AM No.715243154
>>715241582
Jesus was a carpenter that hauled a 150kg cross up a mountain with half is back missing, you aren't winning a fist fight against that guy
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:50:51 AM No.715243190
c58bb4c7cc27c72e79620460adca4b3f
c58bb4c7cc27c72e79620460adca4b3f
md5: 57eb50b7eb6618ed437b839e3a126d72🔍
>Yahawasi phase 2
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 12:03:08 PM No.715243740
ma
ma
md5: 390163978b1cd1f09a1b02e39c835119🔍
>>715241582
>what kind of martial art does this "jesus" use?
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 12:08:24 PM No.715243964
>>715239759
reminds me of an old mobile game
Replies: >>715244243
saucy
7/12/2025, 12:15:21 PM No.715244243
>>715243964
Which one was it?
Replies: >>715244505
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 12:21:31 PM No.715244505
>>715244243
Infinity blade
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 12:55:57 PM No.715245909
>>715239547 (OP)
he asks you to kill him and then goes "wtf why did you kill me?"
same as eden, same as the crucifixion
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 12:57:19 PM No.715245959
Why is 4chan filled with blaspheming Christ lately?
Replies: >>715246003 >>715246375 >>715248304 >>715249647
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 12:58:26 PM No.715246003
nigger jesus ban
nigger jesus ban
md5: eff286057e7eae94f7177d6c3a6a757f🔍
>>715245959
shut up retard
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 12:58:31 PM No.715246009
>>715239547 (OP)
You know when you try to kill an essential NPC in modern games where your character just lowers his gun so you can't shoot him? It'd be that.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 12:58:52 PM No.715246023
>>715241668
Persona 5 Royal but the slugfest is the cinematic part sadly
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 1:01:03 PM No.715246093
>>715242850
Knowing the right lotto number is the easy bit, the hard part is getting them to give you the right lotto number
Replies: >>715248049
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 1:01:34 PM No.715246117
1729283546739022
1729283546739022
md5: ce4f25674a4a5b49ebea31e89944bff0🔍
>>715239547 (OP)
>implying killing your enemies
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 1:04:23 PM No.715246228
130412797
130412797
md5: 88eea6fad35c79e10d59a70de1de0102🔍
>>715241582
Third phase.
>The Trinity United: God
Secret fourth phase unlocked after doing esoteric shit throughout your playthrough
>Elohim (Old Testament)
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 1:07:14 PM No.715246375
1740973253649305
1740973253649305
md5: 9938723fca5e35c5ce29477cd39f4fc3🔍
>>715245959
That's because Jesus Christ is my Nigger
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 1:42:31 PM No.715248049
>>715246093
Right, that's why I'm asking Jesus for them instead. Try to keep up, kiddo.
Replies: >>715248884
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 1:45:51 PM No.715248232
>>715239547 (OP)
Idk.
Can't remember what's been written in the Book of Revelation.
Replies: >>715249546
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 1:47:07 PM No.715248304
>>715245959
go back to /pol/
Replies: >>715248337 >>715248760
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 1:47:45 PM No.715248337
>>715248304
What?
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 1:48:13 PM No.715248357
>>715239547 (OP)
He hangs on the back of some dude who does 50 hit combos and then if you get command grabbed two times while he whispers in your ear you lose the fight.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 1:48:23 PM No.715248370
demiurge with satanic kike shit in the background
you will never fool me kike loving scum!
Replies: >>715248673
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 1:53:46 PM No.715248673
>>715248370
PRO-TIP: You were created by the "Demiurge."
PRO-TIP: You were given a soul by the "Monad."
PRO-TIP: Jesus had his soul elevated to a Christ-soul during his baptism, thanks to the True God.
PRO-TIP: Through Jesus Christ, we can all now travel back to the True God and live in his eternal Light and Knowledge.

Jesus Christ did not worship the Jew God despite being technically created by Him like all of us, he fought directly against its followers and the Holy Spirit backed his actions with divine legitimacy.
Replies: >>715248804
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 1:55:35 PM No.715248760
>>715248304
ywnbaw
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 1:56:19 PM No.715248804
>>715248673
bullshit you kike loving whore
you're a golem just like every other one of your kind, now kindly kill yourself
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 1:57:28 PM No.715248884
>>715248049
Jesus doesn't run the lottery, why would he have the tickets? If he can conjure them, why wouldn't you just ask him to make you money and cut out the middleman?
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 2:09:10 PM No.715249546
>>715248232
he comes riding in a white horse and barfs a burning sword that shoots lasers everywhere

like I'm not kidding thats literally what happens in the book of revelation
Replies: >>715249708
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 2:10:52 PM No.715249647
>>715245959
>lately
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 2:12:03 PM No.715249708
>>715249546
Sounds like he'd make a good fromsoft dlc boss.
I need to read this stuff sometime.
Replies: >>715249796
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 2:12:03 PM No.715249709
>>715239547 (OP)
>you need to kill him in a very specific way as described by some guy in ancient tongue otherwise he's unkillable.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 2:12:47 PM No.715249748
>>715242850
He can
but he wont give it to you specifically because you asked
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 2:13:49 PM No.715249796
>>715249708
The sword can autotrack and fly on its own
his 2nd phase is just unmounting the horse and eye beams you to death with hitscan lasers with no telegraph
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 2:16:40 PM No.715249943
anons.. your entire life is that very boss fight.
Replies: >>715250916
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 2:19:56 PM No.715250110
IMG_4889
IMG_4889
md5: f4118a25418d010708c605b8365534b9🔍
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 2:21:07 PM No.715250169
>>715239547 (OP)
He keeps resurrecting and forgives you every time.
Basically an essential NPC
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 2:30:46 PM No.715250742
1499344854757
1499344854757
md5: 46c33ff4b5a53a9c2e27a90899e1c9a7🔍
Goddammit I fucking hate religion and godfags so much
It's all just so much made up bullshit because they're afraid of dying and scared there's nothing afterwards because their lives are so vacuous
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 2:32:08 PM No.715250807
>>715239547 (OP)
(You) are the boss fight. First you have to overcome yourself to overcome (((the world)))
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 2:33:56 PM No.715250916
>>715249943
Bravo, Kojima
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 2:35:50 PM No.715251013
>>715239547 (OP)
Like a forced speech conversation of classic fallout rpgs that you cant be in attack mode cause jesus has a pacify aura
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 2:37:26 PM No.715251087
1728121903891106
1728121903891106
md5: b6907080f327da747dc7617d110f391b🔍
>>715239547 (OP)
>beat boss
>get bad ending