Anyone else just not having fun?

I hate how it looks and runs like a fucking Wii game, or worse. And so far the game has been absolutely braindead easy, like it's designed for literal children.

>>715774102 (OP)
Not really, I'm liking it a lot fucking more than Tears of the Kingdom.

>>715774102 (OP)
I'm having a great time playing co-op with my son

>>715774102 (OP)
with Bananza, or in general?

>>715774102 (OP)
Nah, just got past the forest area with the birds and it's great.

>>715774149
Weak bait, but have a (You) anyway.

>>715774102 (OP)
It's also boring to watch.

>>715774102 (OP)
>>715774149
>>715774280
>>715774298
>>715774345
>t. have not played, just doing the usual 4ch stale grifting.

>>715774401
Gamecuck.

>>715774415
Nah, was just wise enough not to spend money on the shitch2

>>715774149
Sounds like someone got caught in the great 30 fps shit wave.

>>715774410
You're an idiot.
A lot of Nintendo games have great co-op "tag along" systems.
Super Mario Odyssey, Bowser's Fury, and Bananza all have small side-kick modes.

>>715774149
game designed for children feels like a game for children? Stop the presses everyone

>>715774546
oh

its fine but very repetetive
the layers are short and the bosses are dogshit
once I beat it I dont think I will be trying to get all bananas, I got all moons twice in odyssey so yeah

>>715774102 (OP)
I found it boring until zebra bananza. Not sure if it will stay ok though

Nope not at all.

Oh you mean in the new DK game? Don't have a Switch 2, what fucking retard buys a brand new console at launch?

>>715774624
>the layers are short
Are we playing the same game? Oh, wait, you just zoom to the end of stages. You consume media like you're eating fast food.

Nintendo obsession with piss-easy difficulty and convoluted gimmicks will be the downfall of their games for this new console.

Why does it have the Mario odyssey ui?

>>715775050
Two more weeks for sure this time!

>>715774984
Correct, i'd go slower if I was enjoying it more but i'm not

>>715775056
Same team

lmao schizo thread

This is all OP will do this weekend.

>>715775221
disingenuous score

>>715775318
You need to seethe harder.

>>715774102 (OP)
I watched vinny make a banana penis had a midlife crisis because I'm 35

I also didn't buy a switch 2 so

>>715775221
>IGN

>>715775221
Nintendo with 10 ratings means about as much as a prostitute saying your dick is big

>>715775221
Nintendo Bonus is real

yaaaaaas so true discordxisters

>>715774102 (OP)
I'm waiting on the skong to make an appearance.

>>715774149
Wii games run better than this.

>>715774102 (OP)
The love and praise seems so fake and manufactured. Forced as shit.

how do you see how many bananas you have at any given time?

>>715774102 (OP)
Cope, I'm having a blast. Maybe stop hating video games?

>>715775221
the whole press rollout was orchestrated, from nintendo being coy about the dev team to the highly controlled pressers to the bought and paid for "10/10 masterpiece" headline. i know it's how the game is played but it's just lame, especially when bananza is a totally competent 8/10 quirky little action game on its own merits. feels like this is a title that was too important to fail for nintendo for whatever reason

>>715774102 (OP)
The hate and criticism seems so fake and manufactured. Forced as shit.

>>715775458
>>715775428
SOOO MUCH SEETHE!

>>715775841
they have 2 switch 2 games for this year and this is the second one of them
idk why they did this

>>715775841
>important to fail for nintendo for whatever reason
Just gives a seal of approval, so people can spend money on this garbage console/game

>>715775898
There's Kirby Air Riders and likely one more big exclusive
Metroid Prime 4 will probably also sell better on switch 2 long term if I had to guess, and Pokémon Legends Z might as well be a switch 2 exclusive given it runs at a silky smooth 10fps on switch 1

>>715774102 (OP)
Women don't play videogames.

>>715775898
Even if it was just the 2 games (it isn't), that would be 2 more than the competition.

>>715775841
If this was the exact same game but as a new IP, instead of DK you put a purple monke, you can even keep Pauline as is, made by a AA studio and publishef by a 3rd party it would have received a 7/10 and be completely ignored by everyone.

>>715774149
>posted less than a minute after the OP
Did you have this message saved to clipboard, and mash F5 on the catalog so that you could open this thread, paste text, and select the Webm? Lmao

>>715775221
guys leave my review alone i need my nintendo sponsorship to supply my chunkopop collection

>>715774102 (OP)
I don't play games for fun. I usually look at porn and jerk off for that.

>>715774415
I'm not paying u moron. I'll wait til switch 2 gets homebrew

Embarrassing thread. You dumb cunts need to play video games instead of browsing /v/.

>>715774149
People paid 80 dollars for this shit?

>>715774102 (OP)
gay game desu

I’m having a blast!

>>715778252
$70, not $80 you misinformed animal. Can’t wait for you stupid teenagers to go back to school in August.

>>715778667
People paid 70 dollars for this shit?

>>715775221

>>715775849
/v/ is one of the only refuges left for tendie hate wank.
Normies on social media sites have already largely moved on.

>>715778252
>>715778790
kek you really owned that tendie good mr weebanon

has this been cracked for pc yet? i need to know if it's cracked so i can hem and haw about whether i should play it for a day before forgetting about it forever. Like the rest of nintendo's switch games

>>715774102 (OP)
https://fixvx.com/Cerulean86/status/1946070696423014871

>>715774149
>like it's designed for literal children.
DING DING DING

>>715774298
Is he DK of Pauline.

I can't find the hidden banana in Nostalgia Country :( it's the first one diagram

>$90 game
>5 hour campaign
>8 hours for 100%
>unoptimized piece of shit
>ps2 graphics
>oh well at least toddlers like it

"goty" lmao

>>715785335
up left

>>715774102 (OP)
Fun for a bit but it's so repetitive that it gets old quick. I'm on the third layer so maybe it changes later on. Glad I didn't pay more than $50 for it.

Is there a list of all the names of the challenge rooms? The map doesn't show them if you have all the nanas from one and the names of the nanas in the collection don't say the name of the challenge they're from. I want to know because I know there was one with a weird reference but I can't remember where the hell it was.

>>715775196
Explains why its so boring then.

>>715774457
And the mask come off. Still seething eric?

I knew it wasn't for me from watching the videos

>>715775221
Lul

>>715774102 (OP)
Anon, you have to actually buy and play the game to have fun...

>>715787705
BASED

when do the user review scores come up? who gives a fuck about the shill journo slop reviews, astrobot got like 100/100 literal goty and that game sucked

>>715787858
>user reviews that are astroturfed by brazilians

How come everything has to be braindead "for children?" I know it was Rare that made it and not Nintendo, but come on- DKC2 was a pretty challenging game in a lot of levels. Treating kids like retards is part of why zoomers are fucked.

>>715787939
Ill add to this and say kids dont like being treated like kids unless theyre like 3 years old. you always thought what your older brother was playing or doing was way cooler than children slop even if you didnt fully understand it

>>715787406
Never mind. I found it.
>Stompy Ascent
I wonder if this is a reference to Crash Bandicoot's "Stormy Ascent" level that was cut from the original and re-added in the trilogy remake.

>>715788056
That was certainly true in my case. I remember my older brothers playing Diablo and my mom wouldn't even let me go into the room while they played it. I wanted to see Diablo so bad, bros...

it's fine, but definitely not worth the asking price.

>>715789008
Switch 2 in a nutshell. Premium prices for just alright hardware and games

>>715774102 (OP)
Not me, I played all rvening yesterday and was having a blast. Will be playing more today but I have to go outside and hang out on the beach with my friends and I am not quite autistic enough to bring my switch with me.

>>715774149
You are the E33 autist.

I can tell

>>715775221
>Game is journalist tier easy
>Gets a 10 by IGN
checks out

>>715782658
>>715774586
>NINTENDO GAMES ARE THE BEST THE MEDIUM HAS TO OFFER
>NO YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CRITICIZE A GAME FOR TODDLERS!
make it make sense

>>715774102 (OP)
>have to repeatedly spam a button to smash everything
this gameplay is awful

>>715789970
Easy. Games are for toddlers.

>>715790972
Gookmoot should make a new rule that only toddlers can post on /v/ then

worms 4 had completely destructable environments on the ps2 and it didnt frame dip. whats nintendos excuse?

I feel like it has the same issue as TOTK, where if you give the player abilities almost equal to dev tools then it's really hard to design a satisfying puzzle or challenge around it and there's no reason not to take the simplest route for everything.

It will run better on the switch 3.

Blast status?

>>715787928
>Corporate reviews astroturfed by zoylennial polycule balding cucks

>>715791697
for an affordable $100 upgrade price

>>715791883
I'm sure whatever upgrade price that exists will be based on Sony's upgrade price that exists for PS5 to PS6, just like the $10 is based on PS5 upgrades :)

>>715774280
Ikr it's like the best nintendo game in years

>>715787939
>How come everything has to be braindead "for children?"
Nintendo games are a spectrum of age targets
Their platformers are family targeted meant to be able to be enjoyed by kids under the age of 10 to play with their parents. Meanwhile stuff like Splatoon targets teenagers and adults, Xenoblade and 2D Metroid targets adults, Kirby targets younger audiences, yoshi and animal crossing target women etc
You are playing a family focused game

slop33 insists upon itself

Way better than Astroturfbot and even better than Odyssey so far. Journos definitely conspired to keep the metascore just at a 90. Fuck Snoy and Reddit 33.

>>715775221
>All told, Mass Effect 3 is an absolutely amazing game, one that successfully puts a bow on the Mass Effect trilogy while still leaving us hungry for even more. It looks and plays great, but Mass Effect 3's true strength lies in its ability to tell a deeply-woven story
Actual IGN review

>>715775050
FromSoft will most likely have a downfall for training some gamers that difficulty equals fun before that will happen.

>>715785335
You failed the "did you play DKC1" test.

Why does this game looks like complete shit
Not even talking about performance/fps but the environments are a complete mess, they look as coherent as my 2yo cousin's drawings

>>715793275
Why are you so insecure and so disingenuous?

>>715793339
?

>>715774102 (OP)
It's mid, I'm just running around punching everything for a bananer
I'm going back to gooning to pauline

>>715793339
look at it dude its a blurry mess of polygons and vomit colors

on a scale from troon to chud how woke is it?

>>715793393
>>715793443
Sorry your Snoy game or Frenchfag 33 game isn't as good.

The tutorial sucked but after that it got going

>>715793505
There is a woman who speaks

>>715793523
>BUT SONY / OTHER GAME
typical

>>715793523
Holy schizo

>>715793523
>call someone else insecure
>reply like this
Tendies aren't sending their best

e33 is one of the most hideous games to ever be shar out and the cattle eat it up

>>715793620
OTHER GAME...

>>715789634
Why does this keep you up at night?

How does it personally affect you.

>>715793756
The unreal slop engine insures it can't have the sou this Nintendo game has.

>>715793803
ONLY NINTENDO IS ALLOWED TO HAVE GOOD SCORES REEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

kek slop33shill still seething

>>715793803
Not as highly rated as BotW and TotK Switch 2 versions btw.

>>715774102 (OP)
I started enjoying it more when I stopped autistically collecting every little gold piece I found and just focused on the coins/fossils/bananas and objectives.

>>715793907
we don’t talk about that

>>715793803
NOOOO THAT GAME ISN'T ON SWITCH 2

>>715775841
The switch 2 still doesn't have "That Game" people will buy the console for.
They desperately need one for this console to have any real support going forward.

Tendies vs modest French indie devs is the weirdest beef yet in a long history of tendies having beefs with almost everybody

slop33 cultist getting raped daily

>>715794051
>modest French indie devs
Didn't the studios dad have hundreds of millions of dollars and helped his Sony get everything he wanted? Far for from humble.

>>715774586
even though that guy is baiting, there's literally no reason why kid games have to be brain dead.

>>715794132
Yes. Look it up. His dad is a billionaire and this was just a money laundering scheme.
They are not indie, and more than 30 people worked on this because they outsourced most of the work to gooks

>>715794157
You know, I've always wondered why there's such a difference between Nintendo fans pre and post N64. It just dawned on me that N64 was the beginning of Nintendo making their games braindead. Might be why N64-onwards tendies turned out to be cultist idiots

>>715794284
Not really, it's just that it's around that time that nintendo products became ancient enough for their earlier consumers to turn into nintendo adults, their final form

>>715775458
>I irrationally hate nintendo for no reason, which means everyone else thinks exactly the same as I do! The fact that their games get higher scores must be some kind of conspiracy against me specifically!

No trannies in the Zelda movie thank God

>>715794435
And yet you think it's a conspiracy when Astro Bot gets good scores and wins prizes

>>715794228
It's okay to be wrong anon

>>715791152
wouldn't stop trannies from spamming porn. in fact, there would probably be more of that.

>>715794532
>BINGBINGBOT
this really exposed the seethers bitter hatred, they just really want games

>>715794627
>soulless bugged eyed tranny freak won
kek

>>715774149
the only time my game lags is when i open the map and it zooms all the way out

Is there any place on the internet where you can discuss video games without brand loyalty retards having unrelated meltdowns

It's a great game. I'm glad DK finally has a proper 3D game to his name. Now to only wait for 10 more years for Nintendo to ever care about DK again.

>>715793505
the only thing remotely woke is characters using singular they sometimes

>>715795070
Unless you make a rule about not allowing tendietards, it's not possible

>>715795070
go back

>NOOOOO SAVE ME REDDITMAN
do e33troons really?

The game feels like sissy hypno. The colors, the sounds, the graphics, everything about it just screams sissy hypno.

>>715795265
Explains why so many tendies are troondies

>>715795265
Are you a trannie?

>>715795236
>Nintentoddler calling others reddit
Oh the irony
Anyway DK is a great 5 hours game, no need to compare it to other games, it already can stand up on its own.
Not every 70 dollars game is designed to last more than a day of playing or be challenging and that's ok.

>>715795454
back to you saf espace tranny KEK

>>715795392
he will be after playing this shit

>>715795581
GOOD MORNING SAR

>>715774149
The game runs great. You’re highlighting the one time it gets fucked up because the DF fags showed it. Kill yourself.

>>715795672
REEDITMAN DELET THIS

>>715774102 (OP)
Remember you paid $600 to play this, lmao

>>715774102 (OP)
I watched some cute weeb girl play it and the frame rate looks bad

>admitting to watching e-whores and paying them your simpbucks
AHAHAHAHAH IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE

I'm having fun.
For me its meant to be played in short bursts. I prefer it on mobile mode so I can have it at my computer desk and play it for a while then stop.

>>715795454
I paid 60

>>715774102 (OP)
GAME OF THE YEAR
SNOYKEK SEETHE THREAD

>>715796226
They are having a meltdown. It’s consuming their pathetic life. They’ll call it a kiddie game, and then praise Astro Bot, which is a huge 3D Mario ripoff.

>>715774280
Woah, you mean it's more fun than the worst 3D zelda of all time? What?!

>>715785619
I played for 5-10 hours and I just fought the first boss. You fucking retarded faggots rush from point A to point B to get through the story as fast as possible and then bitch and whine about how there's "no content." You could have a game with hundreds of hours of content and it still wouldn't be enough for you. Gamers these days don't care about the journey, they only care about reaching their destination before moving on to the next big thing.

>>715774102 (OP)
>nintendo releases the exact same soulless shit for the nth time
>umm no, it's good actually
kek, imagine being stockholmed

>>715796884
Yeah thats the point I'm at. I can take my time and play slowly and enjoy it, or rush through for no reason.

>>715774102 (OP)
I'm having a B A R R A L blast

>>715790047
Oh
Donkey Kong can
Mash-buttons
Mash-buttons
Mash-buttons
Donkey Kong can
Mash-buttons
My fair gamer!

Looks like $60 or $50 dollar day 1. Not bad but not worth the premium price

>>715774149
I have played trough most of the game now (layer 1200 i think? the snake level) and it was genuinely the only moment where it dipped like that so the fact that this is being posted everywhere is retarded

>>715774149
I would love for someone to explain to me how this represents a generational leap over Mario Odyssey that warrants another almost $500 paywall. Hell, this doesn't look any better than Mario 3D World.