WOKEY-KONG: The Deaths Of The Author
So…. This is how the last bastion of SOUL does at Nintendo? With shitty calarts emasculating onions-kong? Let’s get one thing straight: anyone who was ever a hardcore and actual fan of Donkey Kong HATES the new bananza collectible shit, it’s a slap in the face to all rare fans that is very intentional, much like the star wars sequels were meant to piss off older fans. but what’s even worse is the design based off of the fucking movie
>seth rogen kong
>forced nu-soul calarts style
>makes le funny epic reaction faces (may as well also have DK saying “chat is this real?”)
>diddy replaced, now instead we get forced 13 year old girl boss telling us what to do and what to onions out over
>feathers. he has fucking feathers. why?
>every character seen so far has extremely reductive dialogue that is aimed toward shaming you, the player, for liking what worked in the past and not liking what they’re forcing now
How is any of this shit acceptable?
Anonymous
7/18/2025, 11:19:36 PM
No.715831352
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GCJ really wanted this one bad, huh? Gotta make your own karma since no one was biting here.
Anonymous
7/18/2025, 11:19:39 PM
No.715831357
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Onions Kong is such a sick name
Anonymous
7/18/2025, 11:20:40 PM
No.715831437
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>>715831507
>>715831254 (OP)
I see you have internet connection again, E. Back to use your shitty 2-bit connection to hate on success once again, huh…?
Anonymous
7/18/2025, 11:20:41 PM
No.715831438
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>WOKEY-KONG
Trans do NOT own cotton candy colors
Queers do NOT own rainbows
FUCK OFF
Anonymous
7/18/2025, 11:22:07 PM
No.715831537
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>>715832729
Wow, this OP might be a legitimate schizophrenic. He is actually making things up in his head and getting angry at them
Anonymous
7/18/2025, 11:22:42 PM
No.715831586
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>>715831507
Oh now he’s trying to pretend we don’t know, lmao. keep it up, E, I’m sure you’ll impress SOMEONE with your naysaying.
Anonymous
7/18/2025, 11:23:45 PM
No.715831658
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>>715831507
10dies use Eric as their bogeyman whenever there’s any sort of criticism against their cult. They unironically fear his character so much that they won’t even type it fully, shortening it just to “E”.
Anonymous
7/18/2025, 11:26:28 PM
No.715831892
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>>715831254 (OP)
>>715831254 (OP)
He looks like Kiddy Kong grown up. He has the body of a giant gorilla with the face of a baby but in a bad way.
Anonymous
7/18/2025, 11:37:53 PM
No.715832729
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>>715831537
The fur does looks like feathers though
Well I would say leaves but either way not a good look
Anonymous
7/18/2025, 11:41:22 PM
No.715832967
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>>715833124
>>715831254 (OP)
Because people like you criticize it for being different.
Anonymous
7/18/2025, 11:44:02 PM
No.715833159
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>>715831254 (OP)
>diddy replaced
What the fuck are you talking about? Just because he's not with Donkey Kong doesn't mean he got replaced.
Anonymous
7/18/2025, 11:46:43 PM
No.715833357
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>>715833124
Thanks for proving my point
Anonymous
7/19/2025, 12:02:39 AM
No.715834519
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>>715835720
>death of the author
Dkc itself was death of the author. It pretty much got rid of every element from the arcade games besides the name dk since rare’s dk is a different character entirely while the real dk now called cranky was made into a joke, literally a case of what would now be called a humiliation ritual, though it’s not like the new dk was treated much better, constantly being used as a damsel in distress. It makes all of mario and sonic’s western adapatations in the 80s and 90s look completely faithful.
Anonymous
7/19/2025, 12:16:00 AM
No.715835425
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>>715831254 (OP)
The fact that this is supposed to be DK after country is fucking insulting.
I thought with Pauline being a child that this would be a prequel with DK basically being a teenager. But no, this is grown-ass DK.
Anonymous
7/19/2025, 12:21:55 AM
No.715835864
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>>715836935
>>715835720
Yes anon. The old man going on about how he had to go uphill both ways is a common joke, used to derisively disregard the elderly as trying to blow smoke up their own arses about how tough they are.
Cranky was reduced to some old wanker seething about the young.
Anonymous
7/19/2025, 12:27:59 AM
No.715836247
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>>715837414
They should have had retro studios make a 3d dk game instead of metroid
Anonymous
7/19/2025, 12:29:16 AM
No.715836323
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>>715831254 (OP)
Here is your (you). I'm not wasting my time in reading all that diarrhea you typed.
Anonymous
7/19/2025, 12:45:11 AM
No.715837414
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>>715836247
I do hope we get a new 2d dk from them soon
Anonymous
7/19/2025, 12:48:31 AM
No.715837632
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>>715839215
>Bros....Nintendo.....has....gone...wokey
Anonymous
7/19/2025, 1:11:39 AM
No.715839215
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>>715837632
Unironically yes. That image is genuinely unironically actually more true to the original than the calarts slop they put out.