>>715857078
Eventually, I found myself in a nice office building, explaining to three middle-aged women how I spent my last year in a hospital, undergoing extensive reconstructive surgery on my mouth and jaw because I had foolishly gone for the Guinness record for longest session of continuous cunnilingus performed, and only three days and twenty-seven women later did I find out there wasn't even a record to begin with. As I instinctively got up to leave, since I had reached the part of the interview process where I was going to be thrown out, one of the women decided to keep humoring me.
I just kept going. Lying about this and that, making up nonsense, and soon the other two women were also playing along. The interview ended up going well past an hour, and then continued at a bar, and then ended up with all four of us at my place. Hours later, I woke up to a message from my manager telling me I was fired for not showing up for work, and being not entirely sure what was real and what must have been a dream. I didn't even bother calling my manager in order to plead for the job back, and just resigned myself to learning how to live on the streets.
But, later that week, just after I had finished selling the last of my few possessions/furniture, I got an email telling me I had been hired. The three women had apparently given me a glowing review, and I was starting that Monday as an "eCommerce Associate," a job I had never heard of and can't remember applying for, and turned out to be soul-crushing work of just filling out spreadsheets for slightly above minimum wage.
So, yeah, sometimes saying really dumb shit during a job interview can get you a job.
