Thread 716106575 - /v/ [Archived: 113 hours ago]

Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:10:22 AM No.716106575
1739632541875303
1739632541875303
md5: eb910d50f060b5a1180fc1a9634f1a0f๐Ÿ”
It really feels like they're designing their games for 6 year olds nowadays. The final boss was very cool concept and visuals wise but had literally no moves. The cutscenes and constant Pauline dialogues are just cringeworthy.
Replies: >>716107814 >>716108685 >>716108882 >>716109026 >>716109235 >>716109263 >>716109267 >>716109274 >>716110860 >>716111178 >>716112587 >>716112663 >>716112726 >>716112837 >>716112840 >>716114573 >>716115841 >>716116095 >>716116315 >>716116445 >>716118681 >>716118774 >>716120693 >>716122570 >>716124474 >>716124661 >>716125948 >>716126585 >>716129368 >>716134856
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:31:01 AM No.716107814
>>716106575 (OP)
Why does he keep sticking his tongue out like that?
Replies: >>716107841 >>716107846 >>716107848 >>716108750 >>716108790 >>716109193 >>716114683 >>716115803 >>716115885 >>716116289 >>716126432 >>716129625
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:31:34 AM No.716107841
>>716107814
he's a freak
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:31:35 AM No.716107846
>>716107814
He's been faggified
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:31:37 AM No.716107848
>>716107814
He's retarded
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:39:52 AM No.716108364
>no moves
feel free to lay out all the moves so we can see how just how few there are. should be quick and simple, right? you could even compare the move count to the final boss of elden ring, a game renowned for its bosses
>they're designing their games for 6 year olds nowadays
if you get off this site for some discourse around the game from people who actually have children, and you'll see talk about their kids having an easy time with odyssey but struggling with bananza
Replies: >>716108793 >>716109263 >>716126280
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:45:18 AM No.716108685
>>716106575 (OP)
>"he" doesn't understand the simple joy of smashing shit and moving dirt
I think you're a fag, OP
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:46:39 AM No.716108750
>>716107814
He likes bananas
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:47:23 AM No.716108790
>>716107814
He IS bananas
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:47:23 AM No.716108793
>>716108364
>feel free to lay out all the moves
You can watch the final boss for yourself. He spends 90% of the fight shooting stuff at you for you to punch back at him, with INSANE downtime between each. It took minutes but there was very little gameplay.

K.Rool didn't have many moves in DKC but because it was a 2D game everything was involved and you were forced to react and adjust all the time, not wait in a huge 3D space for the boss to do his thing.
Replies: >>716112680 >>716115045
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:48:55 AM No.716108882
>>716106575 (OP)
/v/ - seethe about nintendo
Replies: >>716108978 >>716115846
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:50:30 AM No.716108978
>>716108882
I wanted to clap at it actually. And I kinda did, for a few moments, but overall it feels for every step forward they take two backward.

I just hate that I can't praise Nintendo nowadays without a huge "but...."
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:51:27 AM No.716109026
c65
c65
md5: 15601782750a7b7fdd09e4441b3344cc๐Ÿ”
>>716106575 (OP)
>It really feels like they're designing their games for 6 year olds nowadays
Are nintendo fanboys finally waking up?
Replies: >>716109117
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:52:28 AM No.716109086
DK is doing the thug shaker?
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:52:44 AM No.716109110
Eric, you didn't play Donkey Kong Bananza.
Please stop falseflagging.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:52:52 AM No.716109117
>>716109026
It used to be a lot wider back then, more like 7 to 77.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:53:37 AM No.716109164
>Nintendo....... makes child games?!?!1
Replies: >>716109374
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:53:54 AM No.716109193
>>716107814
shut up it's a perfect game
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:54:36 AM No.716109235
>>716106575 (OP)
all the best video games ever made were designed for 6 year olds
Replies: >>716109271
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:55:11 AM No.716109263
>>716106575 (OP)
>>716108364
It's not just the moves but how slow he uses them too
>triple cannonball attack takes like 5 seconds to to brandish his blunderbuss and another 5 seconds to finish, literally only the third shot has any chance of doing damage to you unless you go out of your way to get hit on purpose by the others
>big cannonball takes the same amount of time
>vacuum attack takes even longer since he angles it around so slowly
>he doesn't even start the hands attack in the gold tunnel until you're already right in front of him
>the floor covering attack takes 10 fucking seconds to start, another 10 seconds for the spread to start, another 10 for the hands to spawn, and ANOTHER 10 for them to sweep the arena
>his submerged attack is actually fairly fast admittedly, but still easy to dodge
>and in between all these he stands still for like 5 seconds just looking at you
And that's his whole repertoire
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:55:13 AM No.716109267
>>716106575 (OP)
It only took you 15+ years to realize the obvious. Good job.
Replies: >>716109374
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:55:16 AM No.716109271
>>716109235
Not exclusively for them. You don't see anyone speak about these games made for literal babies and nobody else.
Replies: >>716109374 >>716112696
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:55:17 AM No.716109274
83d89fe9-9b1f-4556-b7f1-2f6be26f2edc
83d89fe9-9b1f-4556-b7f1-2f6be26f2edc
md5: e0c0340c2b88e406c6b290f3399d0226๐Ÿ”
>>716106575 (OP)
>>Why does a Japanese company who makes video games for children cater to children, instead of 37 year old me?
Replies: >>716109374
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 4:57:03 AM No.716109374
>>716109274
>>716109267
>>716109164
See >>716109271
If you can't see the difference between old school Nintendo and current Nintendo design wise you're dishonest or stupid. It's likely they're trying to get new demographics since their aging fans will pay no matter what, but they didn't nail the shift so well.
Replies: >>716110814 >>716112696
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 5:25:10 AM No.716110814
>>716109374
Of course they're trying to get new demographics, anon. It's foolish of OP to have expected anything else, with the 'quality' of Nintendo games as of late. He's simply retarded for not seeing the writing on the wall.
Replies: >>716110903
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 5:25:58 AM No.716110860
>>716106575 (OP)
>we have astro bot at home
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 5:26:35 AM No.716110903
>>716110814
It's not exactly unexpected, but you would still think they could accommodate everyone. If you're 10 or older you had enough time to snore during that 20 minutes long boss fight.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 5:27:19 AM No.716110931
It's not designed for 6 years old. It's designed for 3-6 years old.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 5:27:27 AM No.716110941
Modern games have been easy for a long time
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 5:29:11 AM No.716111042
This game has the easiest boss fights I've ever experienced in a video game. I don't even mind easy boss fights, but this game goes above and beyond on the concept of easy bosses
Replies: >>716111116 >>716112757 >>716129950
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 5:30:24 AM No.716111116
>>716111042
Yep that's the 3D Mario team.
They are allergic to engaging bosses.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 5:31:27 AM No.716111178
>>716106575 (OP)
stop playing foreign games with English dubs

foreigners can't speak English and can't do quality control for English dubs, so they're always going to be trash
Replies: >>716111195 >>716111253
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 5:31:46 AM No.716111195
>>716111178
Dub or not Pauline just KEEPS FUCKING TALKING and I hate her guts
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 5:33:00 AM No.716111253
>>716111178
OP's complaints have nothing to do with language lol.
Replies: >>716111483
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 5:37:21 AM No.716111483
>>716111253
not all of the VAs they have are as bad as the English one, and more importantly, not all of the scripts are as bad as the English translation.

it's definitely a language thing
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 6:02:32 AM No.716112587
>>716106575 (OP)
Go to bed raresnoy.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 6:04:17 AM No.716112663
>>716106575 (OP)
>It really feels like they're designing their games for 6 year olds nowadays.

I dont know how to tell you that Nintendo wants kids as their primary demographic, not 35 year old balding men.
Replies: >>716112696 >>716113789
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 6:05:00 AM No.716112680
>>716108793
>watch
You mean fight?
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 6:05:20 AM No.716112696
>>716112663
>>716109271
>>716109374
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 6:05:53 AM No.716112726
>>716106575 (OP)
>feels like they're designing their games for 6 year olds
They are. They need to onboard new Nintendo fans. Exclusively catering to Nintendo adults would lead to stagnation and decline.
Replies: >>716112809
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 6:06:51 AM No.716112757
>>716111042
Go do the boss rush then.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 6:07:54 AM No.716112809
>>716112726
Why can I still play games from oldtendo even now, even games I never played back then (so no rose tainted glasses argument here), and love them?
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 6:08:24 AM No.716112837
>>716106575 (OP)
Youโ€™re just playing it wrong
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 6:08:27 AM No.716112840
>>716106575 (OP)
>I think this nintendo game is designed around children
wow what a revelation. this has never happened before now
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 6:32:00 AM No.716113789
>>716112663
>not 35 year old balding men.
Then why pander to them so much? Kids don't care about K. Rool.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 6:55:29 AM No.716114573
>>716106575 (OP)
I was 5 when I got DKC and 6 when I got DKC2 in Xmas 95 (which I 100% in two months).
Replies: >>716114594
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 6:55:52 AM No.716114594
>>716114573
You'd have loved it at the age of 10 too.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 6:57:51 AM No.716114683
WANKy Kong censored
WANKy Kong censored
md5: 60ae708b31814ced28b4e14b8f28a542๐Ÿ”
>>716107814
Because he's gooning
Think this will be the last one of these comics I make of these for a long while, I had a lot of fun but don't want to overdo it. Uncropped version, nothing explicit but it is more R-rated than the others https://files.catbox.moe/aekbc2.png
Replies: >>716114780 >>716116180 >>716116224
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 6:59:36 AM No.716114780
>>716114683
I'm fucking dying
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:11:55 AM No.716115045
>>716108793
>You can watch the final boss for yourself.
OP is a nigger that didn't even play the game
Replies: >>716115420
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:30:41 AM No.716115407
We were gone for twenty minutes, that was weird
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:30:56 AM No.716115420
>>716115045
>for yourself
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:39:22 AM No.716115803
>>716107814
hungry for human cock
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:40:21 AM No.716115841
>>716106575 (OP)
>nowadays
Retard
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:40:24 AM No.716115846
>>716108882
/v/ - jeets shilling ninslop
Replies: >>716115898
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:41:17 AM No.716115885
>>716107814
To soften the character for literal babies. You shouldn't play Nintendo games if you're over 10.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:41:36 AM No.716115898
IMG_20250722_065452
IMG_20250722_065452
md5: 987a85588ff4566c3bedc747f2097cff๐Ÿ”
>>716115846
This. And then they cried when people talked about expedition 33 without constant controversy bait threads
Replies: >>716116078
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:46:01 AM No.716116078
>>716115898
this is literally what /v/ is 24/7 these days
just underpaid jeets making hundreds of anti-nintendo controversial marketing threads every day and have the jeet janny ban people who call it out
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:46:17 AM No.716116095
>>716106575 (OP)
>"cringeworthy"

Evidently, you are the 6-year-old.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:48:25 AM No.716116180
>>716114683
Do you have a spot where you post the rest of the comics?
Replies: >>716116242
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:49:32 AM No.716116224
1593559251389
1593559251389
md5: edddf8513bc2b2335d94cb53d799cfc5๐Ÿ”
>>716114683
fucking amazing. these comics are so good, even if some anons use them completely seriously.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:49:58 AM No.716116242
>>716116180
Pixiv. Search "Donkey Kong". But they're really meant as a /v/ thing others can repost, edit, or whatever gets their jollies off
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:50:58 AM No.716116289
stimp
stimp
md5: 27f3e733dfb3ba7cd90d2170a3484002๐Ÿ”
>>716107814
He's now Stimpycore and we like that.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:51:41 AM No.716116315
>>716106575 (OP)
You realize that if you had first played Mario 64 when you were pushing 40, you would have crushed that game too, right?
Replies: >>716116373
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:53:09 AM No.716116373
>>716116315
Anon please use your brain for a moment and compare the patterns and designs we see in Mario 64 with the ones in Bananza, specifically the final boss that lasts a whole 25 minutes most of which are spent literally waiting

They have an insanely hype escape moment with Gangplank Galleon playing except K.Rool just fucking repeats the same move over and over and it's not even a good move
Replies: >>716116528
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:55:04 AM No.716116445
>>716106575 (OP)
>It really feels like they're designing their games for 6 year olds nowadays.
I dropped Mario Wonder because I couldn't stand all the Teletubbies tier cringe. What the fuck is Nintendo thinking? I wouldn't let my Kids play these games if I had any.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 7:57:20 AM No.716116528
>>716116373
Yeah hold on let me look at King Bob-omb's moveset real quick...
>Walks towards you slowly
Uh oh no wait let's look at King Whomp's moveset
>Falls on his face
Big Boo's moveset?
>Moves towards you slowly
.....Wiggler's moveset?
>Runs around randomly, doesn't even home after you
Uh, okay, Bowser's moveset
>Flame breath which barely goes further than his own feet (sometimes creates coins that can heal you)
>Jumps really high
Yeah man, I sure do miss the supreme hardcore difficulty Nintendo used to aspire to. If only they hadn't dramatically changed course.
Replies: >>716117960
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 8:07:50 AM No.716117009
Nintendo games were always incredibly easy since the SNES, we're just not used to Donkey Kong also falling to that trap since that was the only "hardcore" franchise besides F-zero. Tropical Freeze was by far the Wii U's most difficult game, Returns and the DKC trilogy didn't fuck around either.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 8:30:42 AM No.716117960
>>716116528
King Bobomb lasts 30 seconds you fucking retard. Same for Bowser. I'm discussing a 25 minutes long boss fight you mongoloid
Replies: >>716118326
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 8:39:56 AM No.716118326
>>716117960
The added minutes are for presentation and a greater sense of scale, not difficulty or complexity. And seeing how many people show a positive reaction to K Rool losing his shit the longer you fight him, then it was an artistic choice that played out well.
Replies: >>716118517 >>716118559
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 8:45:04 AM No.716118517
>>716118326
Good pacing and gameplay is more important the le presentation, fag.
I bet you think Death Stranding is the smartest game ever because the walking being boring must mean it's le masterpiece, because smart things "must" be boring?
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 8:46:13 AM No.716118559
>>716118326
Spending 4 minutes on that banana pile going up while watching K.Rool repeat THE SAME UNIQUE MOVE EVERY SINGLE TIME is so fucking lame

The theme is incredible, the Kredits are cool and then this part of the fight is the lamest thing possible. They made the fight 20 minutes long, then lower the downtime and add more patterns. it's that simple
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 8:48:44 AM No.716118647
Void Kong was a good boss letโ€™s be real here
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 8:51:12 AM No.716118681
>>716106575 (OP)
It's a literal childs game. It's not designed for 40 year old men
Replies: >>716118704
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 8:51:58 AM No.716118704
>>716118681
Read the thread
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 8:55:10 AM No.716118774
>>716106575 (OP)
Nintendo currently lost the grip on youths, or so they believe, so they're just flailing with blind market analysis. Shameless Illumination movie plugs, a 2D Mario about a flower vtuber, what if Zelda was a girl, etc. It's only gonna get worse.
Replies: >>716118880
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 9:00:49 AM No.716118880
>>716118774
Amazing how Smash and Splatoon actually ARE popular with the youth, but they fucked those to hell thanks to their forever atrocious netcode.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 10:09:46 AM No.716120693
>>716106575 (OP)
>nowadays

What the fuck do you think Yoshi's Story was 27 years ago?
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 10:11:44 AM No.716120786
I don't really understand why people think games for kids need to be piss easy, kids are the best at video games, Yoshi's Island wasn't made for fucking comatose retards, neither was anything else made back then.
Replies: >>716122713 >>716123431
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 10:55:48 AM No.716122570
>>716106575 (OP)
Still harder than your movie games Raresnoy
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 10:57:06 AM No.716122624
I wish I could mute Pauline's singing
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 10:59:08 AM No.716122713
>>716120786
They're not as good as you think.
I didn't 100% the first Crash Bandicoot until I was 24. I can't imagine kid me having the patience for the slog that is Crash 4. I've been working with school age kids for a while and they don't even know the basic rules of chess half the time (as in, how the pieces move)
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 11:18:11 AM No.716123431
>>716120786
No? I was shit at vidya when I was a kid, and I played it a lot. I don't think I was actually any good until I was 14-15. And even then, I only got better once I reached my 20s.
YD
7/22/2025, 11:21:28 AM No.716123574
Even Odyssey had some challenge from what I seen Bananza is rushed as hell it is a bad game once you look more into it.
Replies: >>716133378
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 11:27:46 AM No.716123834
>Toy makers
>Making games for 6 year olds

WATER IS WET.
Why are you still spending time on children's toys? You are almost 30. You should have a job and a family and be contributing to the economy.
Replies: >>716124149 >>716124520
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 11:35:40 AM No.716124149
>>716123834
Why are you posting on an imageboard about children's toys?
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 11:35:45 AM No.716124156
Children's games were harder in the 90s
Replies: >>716124520
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 11:44:38 AM No.716124474
paid-reviewer-vs-chicken_thumb.jpg
paid-reviewer-vs-chicken_thumb.jpg
md5: 8466b750302c5b2853268218eac370e7๐Ÿ”
>>716106575 (OP)
they make them for woke activi... journalists
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 11:46:00 AM No.716124520
Horizon Zero Calories_thumb.jpg
Horizon Zero Calories_thumb.jpg
md5: 0a33b4e62a92ee480dedfe5bb47a93c5๐Ÿ”
>>716124156
zelda1+2

>>716123834
>you should work yourself to death for whores
no, fuck you
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 11:48:05 AM No.716124597
>tendie zoomers don't remember the time when /v/ outright never talked about Nintendo games because they were causal shit for literal toddlers
>have to rediscover that fact for themselves all over again
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 11:49:42 AM No.716124661
>>716106575 (OP)
nigger is fucking donkey Kong, what the are you doing playing that and request to be adapted to the tastes of a 30 years old bald man children
Replies: >>716124676 >>716125245
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 11:50:06 AM No.716124676
>>716124661
I played DKC for the first time and I loved it
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 12:02:54 PM No.716125245
>>716124661
>nigger is fucking donkey Kong
You're a dumb disingenuous nigger and have never played a DK game before.
they're challenging games and they don't have anime cringe like this shit does.

>It's donkeykong so it doesn't have to be good
>it doesn't have an R rating on the box so it doesn't have to be good.
>it's a video game so it doesn't have to be good
Kill yourself with this retarded defense you shit eating spastic.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 12:18:41 PM No.716125948
156156
156156
md5: 5c765bfd82cfbca5fc257a14eb5c5a54๐Ÿ”
>>716106575 (OP)
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 12:19:57 PM No.716125993
What has set off Country secondaries this time? They put your tranny designed characters in the game in the end.
Oh wait Country secondaries don't actually play the games so they won't know this.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 12:26:42 PM No.716126280
>>716108364
odyssey has baby mode that literally paints arrows on the ground for kids to follow through the entire game. does bananza not have the same thing?
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 12:29:54 PM No.716126432
>>716107814
They made him into a dog straight up, everything about him is just him acting like a dog.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 12:33:17 PM No.716126585
>>716106575 (OP)
Nintendo knows they lost the child audience and they're trying real damn hard to get it back so they can indoctrinate lifelong fans. They already know all their 30+ year olds will buy their games no how bad they are.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 12:46:33 PM No.716127165
Right, because 3D platformers were always known for their difficulty. This thread isn't definitely filled with assblasted retards upset at how well the Switch sold and retards who didn't play the game and own a Switch 2.
Replies: >>716127435
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 12:53:44 PM No.716127435
>>716127165
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 12:53:44 PM No.716127436
Posters defending Nintendo are oddly disgusted by Nintendo.
>What did you expect from peepeepoopoo toddler games? Your supposed to be braindead.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 12:54:44 PM No.716127468
>716127435
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 1:37:09 PM No.716129368
>>716106575 (OP)
>It really feels like they're designing their games for 6 year olds nowadays
They are, but what is truly puzzling is that the system they're releasing the game on is the complete opposite of what's suitable for 6 years old.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 1:42:24 PM No.716129625
mouthbreathing
mouthbreathing
md5: 0e93e6c282d5c1d22d0618230b8d8bcc๐Ÿ”
>>716107814
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 1:49:44 PM No.716129950
DEADDOG
DEADDOG
md5: 9072d18cbe60e72b1301a34a96adfd8c๐Ÿ”
>>716111042
>easy boss fights
>in a game meant for small children.
Wait what?
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 2:12:13 PM No.716131028
It's a bad game, simple as. A good game can be made for children but still have enough mechanical depth to satisfy an adult, like a proper Mario. This is C-tier Nintendo AT BEST.
Replies: >>716135002
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 2:33:12 PM No.716132080
Marketers are paid to enter threads like this and sow division by being argumentative with anyone that doesn't like the game.
Replies: >>716133167
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 2:51:39 PM No.716133167
>>716132080
>everyones opinion i dont like is a paid shill.
ez copout. Just call everyone you don't like jews/paid shills.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 2:55:11 PM No.716133378
>>716123574
>from what i seen
>the more you look into it
esl faggor
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 3:15:55 PM No.716134856
>>716106575 (OP)
>I cant believe they're designing games for their target demographic
OP, if you were a 30 year old playing videogames over 30 years ago, society would've thought something was wrong with you.
Anonymous
7/22/2025, 3:18:05 PM No.716135002
>>716131028
You didn't play it so your opinion is worthless