Thread 716147115

>video essay
>starts by 30 seconds of the creator fimling himself put the disc/cart in and turning the console on

>puts the cart into the wrong console
>puts the cart into something that isn't a console at all

>>716147247
I have a weird memory of something like this with someone shoving in food shaped like a cart into a console but can't rmemeber any details.

>watch low view count video essay of some dogshit game I never heard of
>it's 20 mins of shitty jokes
Hit and miss but it wasn't that bad all things considered, there was a semblance of 'soul' you might say

>>716147115 (OP)
>Speaker pretends to cough randomly, thinking it's the highest form of comedic effect

>>716147348
Probably jontron for his food games videos, pretty sure there was a point where he tried to stuff a burger into his snes

>>716147115 (OP)
>Yes... video game actually has this trivial feature/lore/mechanic

>>716147640
This and the "pretending to go off script and off the rails before being abruptly cuto-" rustle my jimmies. Shit stopped being cute years ago.

>>716147115 (OP)
>niche game with 1-2 hours of gameplay
>4 hours long video

Brevity is really the soul of wit. These videos really shouldn't be longer than fifteen minutes max. If it's longer, I guarantee it's because the author can't trim a script down for shit, they're doing a plot synopsis or they're reading from a wiki page.

>>716147458
>>716148017
You guys think Nostalgia Critic and Channel Awesome did more harm than good for the world of video articles?

>video essay critique of a popular video game
>soft-spoken british or australian voice
>opens with a disclaimer that the claims in the video are just his opinion and that you’re free to enjoy the game however you like

>>716148017
When the reviewer has sub 115IQ I agree but anyone decently insightful should have enough to say to at least hit 30-45 minutes

>>716148239
>british voice
HEY GUYS WELCOME BACK TO ANOTHER CAWADOOTY BLACK OPS 2 VIDEO

>>716147816
>"it took me 7 years to learn you can do this"
>it's something utterly mundane like character having extra dialogue if you're naked or something

>>716147458
People need to watch more low-view count essays because you can find retarded, almost genuinely autistic gems like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOmzblcGO0E

>>716149373
I am both in stitches and filtered from the first line alone.

>>716149495
you need to keep going
trust me, it's actually not that bad once you give in

>>716147115 (OP)
>speaker makes an obvious, shitty joke
>"get it? do you get it? it's like, a joke, do you get it?"

>>716149373
>>716149495
banger opening I'm not going to lie

>Hey guys, it's me the Irritated Anal Reviewer, and I think I'm gonna actually play a game I enjoy for once, so here I--
>Not so fast!
>Camera cuts to the same guy, just in a black shirt and on the other side of his room
>Oh my gosh, it's my evil clone the Anal Irritation Reviewer!
>Yes, it's me, and I'm going to make you play ET for the Atari!
>Nooooo! Diarrhea Dick Waffles this game is a pile of poopy diapers!
>The reviewer gets his hands tied up with a controller cord and we cut to emulator footage
>Ughhh Arrrghh this game sucks so much ass! Fuuuuuuck!
>Adobe Premiere mask effect to put the reviewer sitting on the couch beside himself
>Someone save me from this pile of fuck
>Cut to a new reviewer whose audio is garbled and his webcam is streaming 240p
>I'll save you Irritated Anal Reviewer!
>Wow it's the Feisty Fuck Gamer!
>Feisty Fuck Beaaaaaaaaam!
>Stock footage of a house being blown down
>Cut to the reviewer standing outside in a public park
>Well guys, my home got destroyed, but at least I don't have to play that pile of fuck anymore!
>His evil clone is seen walking away with a smile
>To be... continued...?

>>716147115 (OP)
>video essay
You clearly don't value your time to begin with.

>>716149972
kino

>>716147115 (OP)
>watching 10 hour essays for fucking video games of all things
i cant think of something more pathetic, can you?

>>716148017
This is also why I can't stand Reviewbrah, dude will spend 15 minutes waxing poetic just to say "this burger is okay"

>>716149830
>"its like... a joke."
>"people... people like jokes, right?"
>"ok, this is the part qhere you laugh now."
SHUT
THE FUCK
UP

>>716150567
>>716150018
You dont work a job where you have to do things but can listen to something as you do?

>gameplay footage
>its the remaster

>game review
>talks about his own personal childhood for 10 minutes

>>716147115 (OP)
>video essay starts
>Now- let me start off the video with this. Many people in the community have accused me of being... overly critical on the franchise...
Turn off and thumbs down. I dont give a FUCK about the meta narrative just say your review.

>>716152184
Listen to something worthwhile instead of worthless white noise and giving ad money to jewtubers who should drown in sulfuric acid you adhd troglodyte

>video essay starts
>I swear, whenever I go on vacation, there is always so much that happens! I swear I should go on vacation more often because thats when Nintendo will announce their next direct
SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR STUPID VACATION! WORLD DOESNT REVOLVE AROUND YOUR VACATION

>ocarina of time essay
>they let 80% of the title screen cinematic play through before they start talking

>>716149972
I see the evil reviewer thing in these threads but how many times did it actually happen?

>>716152371
This can be awesome if it's spread out evenly

>gets to a character like cid from ff7
>ermmmmm... so yeah.... this character is a little...uhh...problematic....im just going to skip over this little part....

>"How to do [simple, quick to explain thing] in this game"
>The video's half an hour long

>>716147115 (OP)
> watching a video essay

>>716153495
That would require a modicum of talent to pull off

>>716147115 (OP)
I always hate shit like this, it was never funny and time has not sweetened it.

>>716154448
that versus the chad 17 seconds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q2UlEGT9ZE

>non voiced acted text rpg
>literal who essayist gets other literal who youtubers to read lore items and some dialogue with 5 dollar microphones

I don't watch these videos thank you for letting me watch them vicariously friends, this is getting deep

>>716147247
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F88OgdRgFw0

I don't find most video essays entertaining because they're not about my personal autistic obsession.
But I'm glad they're popular because when someone makes a 20 hour analysis of their autistic obsession and it happens to align with mine then it's great. Gives me listening material for a whole week.

>Claims to be a video assey
>Just spends 3 hours retelling the plot of the game without adding anything of his own
>Millions of views

>>716156559
>multiple parts
>multiple videos
>15 hours

>>716157234
>creator tears up slightly at end of video
>background image disappears revealing homemade greenscreen
>camera zooms out slightly as creator gets up from stool and silently walks out of frame
>camera lingers on empty stool and greenscreen
>fin

>>716155857
>the youtuber is wrong about your personal obsession
every single time

>heavily edited thumbnail of some bullshit barely related to the game that looks like an atomwaffen little dark age edit
>The BEST shit you've NEVER taken
>[5:32:57]

>>716157582
>audio of game's credits music reaches the end of the track timed with the fade to black
Looking at you, Mario 64 videos.

that guy who sit on bouncing ball is the only good one

>>716147115 (OP)
>video essay
>eight hours of some pseud's completely unstructured ramblings that never actually come to any concrete point

>>716158024
This PISS will BLOW your MIND and BREAK your URINAL

>video title reads plot analysis
>it's a recap

>>716147458
Post some.

>>716148017
it'd say it's around 20 minutes but yeah
if you need to retell the entire game and explain like 3 unrelated topics then your video essay is shit

>>716153709
I went to MAGfest this year and swear I saw Jirad there. Obviously I don't think he'd announce his presence, but when I told a friend he responded
>Oh? He shouldn't be, I doubt they'd let him in.
I get that he did some gnarly shit but do you think that's something that should haunt him from attending events not as a presenter or face but just as a goer, or do you think they should chase him out?