Why is it seemingly illegal to let Mario and Peach be a heterosexual couple?

Why does this bother you so much?

what if theyre poly and have foursomes

>>716302751 (OP)
they have never been together, OP

>>716302751 (OP)
quit projecting your sexuality onto children characters you fucking degenerate

Nintendo playing safe love with children.
Make the games about weddings that the kids play.
But then tell the adults on the phone apps that they're just friends.
Captcha: g0yph

Peach can't be satisfied by fat Italian cock after being Koopa'd

>>716302751 (OP)
With benefits

Let's be honest.
Mario will never learn.

>>716302751 (OP)
Might disrupt the demographic collapse, icky icky cooties

>>716302983
>Peach is taller than me
Time to reconsider previous my lack of interest

>>716302751 (OP)
Peach has Wario. Mario is a cuck

>>716302983
someone post that vocaroo of luigi making fun of mario and mario going on a rant on how he mindbroke daisy

Zoomers got mindbroke by Odyssey’s ending

>>716302751 (OP)
>wh-why arent they g-gay!!!
>why a-arent they a s-straight couple!!!
we're back in 2016, except now you are the annoying SJW niggers

>>716302751 (OP)
Mario and Peach marrying is like He-Man defeating Skeletor. You're supposed to look up to it but not expect it to actually happen.

Peach owes Mario sex.

And she gives him sex, debt paid. They are still good friends.

>>716302751 (OP)
Peach had her chance, I'm more partial to Mario and Pauline.

>>716302751 (OP)
Does anyone have a link to that one flash game where you play as Princess Peach and she gets fucked by pretty much everyone and everything?

>>716302751 (OP)
Do you think Marion has a foreskin or not?

>>716302751 (OP)
Mario is banging Pauline. Peach is banging Bowser.

>>716302751 (OP)
Because it's a videogame for 5 years old tendie

>>716302751 (OP)
made for Big Bowser Cock

>>716302751 (OP)
So, you're saying she was a good friend?

>>716302751 (OP)
thats not what the guys in the Artosis stream tell me

>>716303335
This. It's like Donald and Daisy getting married. You'll know it will happen but theres an eternal status quo.

Mario doesn't need to have sex in it, a peck on the cheek or nose from Peach is a good enough reward for Mario.

I just can't see them in a relationship. Mario is the ultimate simp.

>>716304636
Mario is the ultimate good guy. He just wants to help save the day without any promise of reward, but he loves doing it and is very good at being a hero so people naturally love him (including Peach).

a Princess doesn't just invite a non-royal man into her castle to have a private evening with her eating her moist cake as a "friend"...

>>716302751 (OP)
This might come as a shocker to a KHHV like you, but couples tend to also be really good friends.

Link and Zelda are the only sexually active Nintendo characters.

So it's true... Pauline dev is successfully working to replace Peach with Pauline as Mario's true love

Mario characters are immortal; they do not age or develop emotionally. They will perpetually be the young spirited characters they're always been. Mario is a strapping young hero always with the vigor of "going on his first adventure." It always plays out the same way. It's like a time loop, but it can't be a true time loop because new stuff is happening every game.

>>716302751 (OP)
you think Zelda and Link are a couple too?

>>716304896
There have been quite a few references in the more recent mainline games to how Peach, Bowser, and Mario are basically going through the motions because they end up making for a fun adventure when it is all said and done. Odyssey was the most blatant with Bowser and Peach seemingly resigned to their "roles."

>>716303335
actually really neat analogy

peach and bowser had a child out of wedlock

Bowser just wants a stable 2 parent household for his son and peach just wants to avoid responsibility

>>716305164
Then why would Bowser lie to his son and say that Peach isn't really his mama?

>>716302751 (OP)
Peach is free to take and It's fine to waifu her.
You can even bro with Mario while dating her

>>716302751 (OP)
'ey Peach, can ya help me empty my balls

>>716304834
Every Xenoblade protag gets married with kids.

>>716305586
Xenogears 3 characters are not Nintendo characters. I would be surprised if Miyamoto even knew that trash existed and he published it.

>>716305586
nice one

>>716305705
What is this dumb cope?
>Xenogears 3
Fucking tertiary. Go actually play some games.

>>716302983
Mario is a regular manlet instead of gnomish like creature? Why would they do this lmao

>>716302751 (OP)
Because Peach is unfuckable in a universe with cuties like toadette.

>>716302751 (OP)
He got Pauline after SMOdyssey ends, how is that still a question?

>>716305813
It's talking about me btw.

>>716302751 (OP)
OH MY MAGA THINK OF OUR RETARDED FAGGOT CHILDREN

THEY'RE CONSTANTLY IN DANGER OF SUCKING COCKS

>>716302751 (OP)
are you not good friends with your spouse and do you not help out your spouse whenever you can?

>>716302751 (OP)
Because Mario can't date Pauline if he's with Peach

>>716309998
No?

>>716309931
you wish

>>716302751 (OP)
seggs

>>716310027
sad....
you're supposed to like your spouse

>>716304834
Can you confirm this? I know the characters are famously paired together, but I didn’t know they are confirmed to sleep with each other.

>>716310332
they canonically share a house in Hateno Village in TotK and there's only one bed

>>716304535
Bringing Disney into this only goes against your point since Walt stated countless times Mickey and Minnie were a couple, a married one even.

Donald and Daisy are portrayed as actual boyfriend and girlfriend several times as well, they were never at the stage Mario and Peach are of "maybe they will get together".

>>716310468
noooo that was supposed to be me...

>>716302751 (OP)
I didn't get this when I was a kid. It took learning Donkey Kong used to be a Popeye game to figure it out. Of course Mario can't land Peach any more than Popeye can land Olive Oyl or Wile E. Coyote can catch the Road Runner

>>716302751 (OP)
Peach is royalty in-line to the throne.
mario is a blue-collar prole.
It was never gonna happen.

>>716303090
I'd like to hear this too

>>716310560
People being in love or married is not something that is only understood by adults. Children understand it from their own parents when they are very young.

>>716310332
She is a princess. He is her brave knight. This has always been then case. There's far stronger (still circumstantial) evidence of Link and Zelda fucking than there is of Mario and Peach fucking.

>>716304834
The worst link and the worst zelda

>>716310913
OoT/MM Link canonically marries Malon, as their descendants end up being part of a farming village that has passed down the names of Link and Epona while also retaining Epona's Song as a traditional whistle.

>>716304896
Mario in the gay canon is a 25 yo, but in everyone's mind he's in his 50s.

>>716303335
That's not about marriage, it's about Mario and Peach canonically being "just friends". I don't remember He-Man ever refusing to let Adam and Teela become a couple in versions they have an ending; unlike Mario and Peach not having a single work where they are more than just friend.

>>716310995
Fuck Zelda
Marry Malon
Kill Ganondorf
(Ride Epona)

Mario is MGTOW. You think he could go on adventures if he was married? Lol. He still claps her cheeks on a regular basis

>>716311012
>but in everyone's mind he's in his 50s.
The animated movie was successful with the mainstream masses, and Mario is reinforced as being a young dude. It's mainstream that reinforces how people see a character, no one will ever think Mario is a old man again, only older millennials and actual boomers could hold onto that idea and eventually we will all die out.

>>716311359
>MGTOW
haven't heard this term in a long time after they got banned on reddit.

>>716302751 (OP)
Peach "helps him out" every night.

>>716310995
>>716311203
>Twilight Princess manga ends
>listen here boy
>you know you can go to the Twilight Realm by pulling that sword in your hometown, she’s just playing hard to get
>now go make some half-twili hero descendants

>>716311465
There wasn’t much to discuss in the first place. Some people want to be single? Who fucking cares

You know they do this to avoid complaints from soccer moms and activist groups, right?

>>716304834
>bowser
>Mio and Noah
>any FR character in a game where you can have kids
>rex and his harem
>olimar
>clay

>>716312028
Proof that Bowser fucks?

>>716311956
Nobody is offended by a virtuous woman and a heroic man being in love. Well, I guess leftists are these days...

>>716312080
Bowser Jr, his son.

If Ash gets to win the league, Mario gets to bang Peach.

>>716312147
Biological son?

>>716312139
>Nobody is offended by a virtuous woman and a heroic man being in love
If only you knew how bad things really are

>>716312182
Did Ash kiss Misty tho?

Every single kid wanted it...

>>716302751 (OP)
a lowly plumber could never marry into royalty

>>716312189
Yes

>>716312247
No but he kissed Serena.

>>716312258
Most stories about princesses falling in love are about them falling for someone they aren't supposed to according to their status.

>>716312269
Damn. He must have impregnated a real heffer.

>>716312358
yjk Bowser's got some Koopette harem back at his palace...

>>716311956
No they do it so they can continually make games forever

>>716302751 (OP)
Meanwhile Luigi and Daisy

>>716302983
>Peach is my height
Rosalina must be fucking HUEG

I never saw them as a couple. I like to think they go their separate ways, Peach focuses on ruling her kingdom and Mario goes off to save hot young princesses.

>>716302751 (OP)
Peach is for the player, not for some stinkin plumber.

That being said, Daisy is mine so stay the hell away from her.

Mario has Goombella

>>716310995
Teen link and sheikh zelda absolutely fucked though

>>716312792
>taller
>actually gets the girl
>owns a mansion
>started his own successful business
>when made of paper he is actually able to talk and not an off-putting mute

Remind me why mario is the better brother?

Even as recent as the Mario movie they have Mario and Peach heavily flirting with each other and blatant romantic vibes. Nintendo just wants to imply it without breaking the stays quo so they can keep making video games

>>716303032
Just smack her a few times and hide the mushrooms

>>716313734
Lmao sounds like a robot chicken sketch
>mario and peach arguing like an Italian couple usually does
>mario pelts her in the head with a turnip like SMB2
>Peach shrinks to 4 ft tall

>>716313284
He's cuter

>>716313284
I find it weird how Nintendo still likes to joke about Luigi being a loser despite them giving him a way better life than Mario.
Like damn, I'd happily accept being called the lesser Mario Bro if that means I get a mansion, business, hot tomboy gf and ghost dog.

>>716313284
>>716314093
Smarter too. Brotherhood made Luigi coming up with cockamamie schemes that just WERK into a game mechanic.

>>716302751 (OP)
when nintendo takes you from the warp zone to the friend zone

>puts on a big fucking "I still want your hairy Italian penis" concert

What more do you need?

>nintendo sees its demographic
>old women with no hope at all
>all of them are single, disinterested in animalia
>How can we keep them buying?
>How can we keep them alone?
>How can we keep them angry?
>How can we keep them buying?

>>716302856
Is that Styx, Hex, and Hammer?

>fictionnal characters NEED to have sex
go outside, touch some grass, go speak to real women

>>716316764
Bowser had sex, why can't Mario?

>>716318265
So, who the fuck is Bowser Jr's mom?

>>716302751 (OP)
Peach fucks Bowser

>>716316004
>Mario dated this, dumped her for Peach, got his marriage proposal rejected by Peach, went back to this, and had a kid with this
based short king

I’m at the point where I believe Mario is just an adrenaline junkie. He can’t be satisfied living a peaceful, normal life. I mean, what does he do in his free time? He’s coming up with insane bullshit like a soccer game where you tackle people into electric fences and parties where you punch people into lava.

People like celebrities more when they are seen as available. This applies to Mario and Peach as well.

>>716318969
desperate rejected Spiked Koopa hands posted this fictional art

>>716316004
KONGed

>>716318674

>>716302856
Mario has a mustache

>>716319130
This, see the idol industry (and VAs in some cases) and modern waifuism.

>>716315216
The game explicitly states his genius intuition was a byproduct of the islands, not natural. Without them he’s a dumbass

>>716302751 (OP)
Miyamoto doesn't actually think the stories within his games are real. He's obsessed with the idea that all of the characters are actors and always has been.

>>716319269
lonely gorilla hands typed this out, even after he was rejected many times

>>716319178
Jr really wants his mom and dad to be together

>>716302983
when will they learn?

>>716302751 (OP)
They were never a fucking couple. Mario has had Pauline as a gf since their first appearance. Peach has her blue femboy bf Prince Haru. Mario only ever gets kisses on the cheek for a reason, he's not in love with Peach, just really pro-monarchy. No idea why, but given he's originally from Brooklyn, I can't blame him.

>>716319530
Junior doesn't even know who his real mom is. Nintendo would never admit it, but Bowser Junior is a fully Koopa bastard child.

>>716318969
Peach really got fucked over for her choices
>hyperactive fat italian midget is into you
>dumbass turtle dragon thing is also into you
>everyone else around you is a retarded mushroom person the size of a toddler
>midget has a more normal sized brother but he got snatched up by your best friend

Being Peach is suffering.

>>716319591
>Prince Haru
not canon

>>716302751 (OP)
Peach loves the grift

Bowser provides her with free meals and a free vacation from her duties as a Princess while Mario goes around collecting taxes from the plebs.

>>716312853
No matter which autistic method of calculating height based on bullshit you believe, even those that argue Peach is shorter than that, it always comes up with Rosalina being over 7 feet tall
And she still wears heels AND floats, like it's not enough

>>716302751 (OP)
Because Peach is royalty and Mario is a peasant.
She will marry Bowser as arranged by King Toadstool.

I feel this is a Nintendo of America mandate.

>>716319683
Peach is a massive narcissist. and now she will become a forever single cat lady while the short king that simped for her that she rejected married his ex girlfriend that he got back with and had a kid with her. Her royal bloodline may even die off because she can't find a decent suitor.

>>716319847
>King Toadstool
But Toadsworth is dead.

>>716319814
Kek Bowser must be on it as well since most koopa troopa drop their lunch money

You all are faggots for taking this so seriously. It's just a long running franchise refusing to change the status quo. Shit like this is super common.

>>716312258
Mario is canonically a chad according to the rpg games

>>716320069
Mario and Bowser's sex life (or lack thereof) is no joking matter anon.

>>716320069
>zomg bros its just le hecking toy Nintendo childrens game! stop trying to make continuity out of it (even though Nintendo confirmed continuities themselves many times)
>just shut up and consume product!

>>716302856
Mario and Peach are in their 20s....

>>716320243
You fuckers are so deranged. I said nothing like this. All I'm saying is that this kind of shit is normal. There's no deep explanation for it other than "nintendo won't make mario and peach official for brabding reasons." I'm not calling you dumb for wanting more, I'm calling you dumb for expecting it

>>716320190
speak for yourself, Bowser. Not only was Pauline Mario's ex, but he got back with her and they have a kid. Your test tube Koopa babies don't count as you having sex.

i didnt read whatever that faggot posted. Nintendo themselves confirmed continuity many times btw. no amount of minimizing things or dismissive brainlet takes will deny it.

>>716303385
I believe it is in fact Mario who owes her sex, after all the times he's carried her out and put her down, and then he just ran away.

>>716320585
too bad. she had her chance and he went back to his hot singing mayor ex

>>716310468
he sleeps on the floor like a real gentleman

>>716319946
>Her royal bloodline may even die off because she can't find a decent suitor.

That's assuming she isn't a random mushroom bitch that got the transformation crown.

Peach is a stupid whore. Pauline won.

>>716302751 (OP)
Peach is canonically trans so IDK why you would push for this relationshit

Mario must not be wed. He can not.

>>716322428
Why is the Princess of a bunch of random mushroom people a human anyways? Was there ever a reason given for that in the games?

>>716302751 (OP)
You have to be a special level of retarded to see a man and woman and immediately assume they're in a relationship. What's even better, none of you neets have had a real relationship so you should know it's possible for a man to be single around women.

>>716305813
Going to need to see them first before I sweep her off them.

>>716302751 (OP)
because peach is already my wife

What the FUCK was THIS about, then?????

Sonamy vs Mareach
Which ship got fucked harder by puritan loremasters?

>>716302751 (OP)
Cuckario

>>716302751 (OP)
Who gets Peach then?

>>716302751 (OP)
Not Mario, but I always thought it was weird how they tiptoed around the idea of love in Kingdom Hearts. Most of Disney's catalogue and the worlds the series pull from feature romance pretty heavily. So it's weird you can't see canon couples like Aladdin and Jasmine or Tarzan and Jane act like they're together. Herc is based though, he actually says he loves his girlfriend that one time. It was weird how despite this observation, they were entirely okay with implying Simba fucked the shit out of Nala before the Pride Lands revisit.

>>716312147
Mario babies come from the stork you silly willy.

>>716323515

>>716323816
>cucked by a fucking fungus
Mamma mia

>>716323816
little shit

>>716302983
>AI Overview

>>716323816
He does cunnilingus like no one else, no wonder he gets the royal pussy

>>716312258
Slaying a dragon (turtle) usually rises your status up a few notches.
>But Bowser keeps coming back
Dry Bowser existing means he does die at some point, he just got better.

>>716302751 (OP)
They have seen the autism that is shipping and want to avoid the same fate as Sonic.

>>716316764
They don't need to have graphic onscreen sex. But a kiss on the lips or some hot, steamy handholding would be nice.

>>716324185
Like this then

>>716324167
>implying you can stop shipfags
If two characters are in the same frame for more than 0.3 seconds, you can bet your ass that someone just started on their fanfic about the pairing.

>>716324167
Establishing a canon relationship is the best way to avoid shipping autism by far

Communists goal is legit to subvert and destroy depiction of traditional family units and heterosexual romance. They openly stated it in one of their gay meetings.

>>716302751 (OP)
It could be as simple as a design philosophy. Mario games are very simple, the princess gets kidnapped and the hero need to save her. If Mario wins and gets the princess forever, then it could be treated as closure. They want perpetual cliff hangers to continue the pattern. If the hero is sitting right there next to the princess 24/7 then they have to put a little more effort into the story. Which they don't want. But thats just my game theory.

>>716302751 (OP)
Why do they have to be stereotypical love interests? Why does everything have to be about sex with you people?

>>716324730
t. Collective Shit

Maybe they're just confirming that she gets the shell every time Bowser kidnaps her.

In Sunshine, when Bowser Jr. Calls her "momma", she doesn't immediately deny it or anything. She just goes, "I'm your Momma?" as if there was a vague possibility that one of the eggs she squirted out while Bowser rammed her asshole might have come back to kidnap her.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

>>716302751 (OP)
well she has always cucked him
only ever kissed him on the cheek

>>716302751 (OP)
they were never meant to be a couple

>>716302751 (OP)
Don't worry we got Fanfiction for that

>>716324723
I'm pretty sure they've stated stuff that would be consistent with this. They want it to be rebootable every time.

>>716319683
There's something extremely comedic (and erotic) about Peach, Samus and Zelda going out drinking as sexually frustrated office ladies.

>>716320069
>stop having fun joking on this silky thing guys
>it's distracting you from the gr!nd$et

>>716311163
Its just an easy way to keep shit open ended so they can reuse the characters in any way needed in future games without having to worry about "lore" because even Nintendo knows how autistic Mario fans are about the lore

>>716302751 (OP)
Seems the mastermind behind these events is getting succesful.