>>717476565Hey, I'm like you and what I had to do (and it was very very hard) was just force myself to do things, get hurt, fail, suffer, and sort of form a kind of scar tissue in my mind.
It really fucking sucks but it's your only shot, the world is unbelievably cruel and everyone wants you to die.
Knowing that, you're free to fuck up as badly as you want, so just keep trying.
Also therapy if you can manage it, or at least talk to AI (I know people are going to get mad at me saying that), it's programmed to be validating and comprehend what you're saying and can often help you process your feelings just by getting you to think about them and say them.
It's like journaling but better. Also you need to move out, which is going to be hard, but you just can't keep living with your dad.
Regardless of the situation, he's not giving you what you need, you're not giving him what he needs, so you've got to leave.
Even if you have to live in a homeless shelter or something, or sleep at a church, or whatever.