Thread 717561394

>be me
>Dunmer tanner
>live in pretty nice apartment, St. Delyn Canalwork South-Three
>life is good
>wake up, decide to go get a bite of breakfast before work
>no taverns, restraunts, or anyone selling food in my canton, FUCK
>climb two sets of ramps and cross a bridge to the Arena, then cross another two bridge to the Hlaalu canton, going up and down four more sets of ramps
>enjoy a hearty breakfast of mashed up bug-guts and cheap rice beer at the Elven Nations cornerclub, best bar in the city
>shit now I'm three hours late for work at the St. Olms Tanner's and Dyer's Hall
>start fucking sprinting to work across five more bridges, three ramps, and two gondola rides
>have to stop halfway through for my mandatory daily beating from the Ordinators
>finally make it to work just before closing time, a new record
>my boss can't fire me because he got lost somewhere in the Telvanni canton on the way here, epicwin.jpg
>time to go home
>go up and down five more ramps, cross two more bridges, and get my throat slit by a House Dagoth sleeper agent

N'wahs will never understand the superiority of Dunmer architecture and culture.

>>717561394 (OP)
>he cant fly
ohohoho no no noooooooooo!

>>717561394 (OP)
>no recall
>OR intervention
What a fool you are

>>717563336
Last time I bought a recall amulet off some fetcher it sent me to fucking Dagon Fel. I paid 3 months wages for that thing it was supposed to send me back to the temple. I was stuck there for another month before a boat arrived and everyday the fishermen would hand me bugs they use for bait and go, "Hey you eat these right"? and then laugh really loud. Same joke every fucking day.

>>717561394 (OP)
Genuinely good post. It made me smile!

>>717561394 (OP)
>>life is good
>>no taverns, restraunts, or anyone selling food in my canton, FUCK
Well that's not good.

time to goy up a pair fo speedy boots from an enchanter

Who the FUCK let nords in
Like WHY are they there and not genocide by the locals/ordinators

>>717561394 (OP)
No dark elf would ever eat out unless they know the barman, cook and maid personally or were family. It simply is far too easy to get poisoned or killed, for that is the dark elf way as taught by the deadra prince of murder and plots.
After all, what use is a stranger alive?

>>717564001
>Like WHY are they there and not genocide by the locals/ordinators
Have you seen the SIZE of them?

>>717564001
_______________________Seen any Elves?_____________________

>>717564151
You forgot that Hlaalu swits bent the knee to Cyrodiil spiritually as well as physically. They are no longer proper Dunmer, as thus the only means by which to take advantage of a foolish stranger that would occur to them are purely financial.

>>717564408
The only "proper" Dunmer are the ones out there shitting in huts on a sand dune near Red Mountain, and nobody likes those assholes.

>>717564408
The chimer have fallen, billions must scam falmer tourists.

>>717561394 (OP)
>and get my throat slit by a House Dagoth sleeper agent
Literally me

>>717561394 (OP)
do americans really think walking takes so long?

>>717563690
your fault for casting mark in dagon fel.

>>717564408
You're just mad because you're poor, fetcher.