Thread 717640904

Is mario stupid?

>>717640904 (OP)
Pauline's ass on motobike

>>717640904 (OP)
No.

>goes for the hot young princess instead of dried up hag
na he baesd

>>717641060
He will probably go back with Pauline.

>>717641060
She doesn't have a single wrinkle what evidence is there thats she's old?

He wants political power

>>717640904 (OP)
Blonde chicks are hotter and Mario knows it

>>717640904 (OP)
No, Mario was smart, the problem is current Nintendo pushing him as a cuck ever since oddysey (yes i know about the ova, but that didn't leave a footprint for decades)

>>717640904 (OP)
Mario is a retarded cuck that just lets everyone friendzone him. He's portrayed as a loser millennial still living with his parents playing video games in the movie.

>>717640904 (OP)
Mario is gay and only fucks Bowser.

>>717641919
and he's racist too

>>717641745
>since the nes
Fixed that for you

>>717641919
Have you seen them go at first hand?

lying bpd bitch

>>717644163
what is she lying about?

>>717644163
>>717644508
>She was talking about being captured by Void Kong

>>717644072
Yeah, you’re guess as to who tops is completely wrong by the way.

>>717644609
Void Kong is a marmoset, not an ape

>>717644163

this pauline and the bananza pauline are two different paulines

>>717644609
The Japanese version says she was captured by a gorilla.

>>717644163
bro fr she said she was “trapped” in New Donk for years but somehow managed to build a music career and run the city? nah, that’s called networking, not captivity. classic BPD maneuver, turn success into victimhood.

>>717644678
He's a kong.

>>717644851
She says ape

>>717644851
"Kong" means the same thing as "primate" in the Mario universe.

>>717644816
>goes from no-name child street performer to seat of power in government
Look, I’m not SAYING she got molested by her predecessors but…

>>717640904 (OP)
He knows he cant compete with the dong

>>717645110
he clearly can

>>717644163
she captured my heart

>>717645110
>"He knows he cant compete with the dong"

>>717646198
What's his problem he has candy kong

>>717646306
evidently not. Candy Kong keeps rejecting him and he thought he had a chance with a human when he didn't either. I think Donkey Kong might just be an incel.

>>717646376
>Candy Kong keeps rejecting
Proof or is that just your head canon

>>717646429
>"is this just your headcanon"
incel gorilla hands typed this post

>>717646306
Candy Kong was deleted from the canon

>>717646376
The cartoon isn't canon, Dobson.

>>717646524
She is mentioned in Donkey Kong Bananza.

>>717646524
Dixie directly mentions her in Bananza.

>>717646618
Do we see her?

>>717646670
No.
She is mentioned by Dixie, and her name appears on a billboard in New Donk City.

Pauline's grandmother is Lady, the original Pauline. She was kidnapped by the original Donkey Kong, who is now Cranky Kong. DK Jr. is the DK we know. Lady was rescued by Jumpman, Mario and Luigi's grandfather. Bananza takes place years before Odyssey.

It's all a generational thing.

>>717645110
>>717646198
>>717646306
DK has Candy
He's only had an interest in Pauline in those Mario Vs DK games that try to morph him into Arcade DK.

>>717646761
No shut up

>>717646761
Please just shut the fuck up.
I don't care about "lore" on a fucking kids game, you will end like zelda-fags

>>717646761
>Pauline's grandmother is Lady, the original Pauline.
Correct, the new generation of Pauline from Donkey Kong Bananza.
>She was kidnapped by the original Donkey Kong, who is now Cranky Kong.
Also correct.
>DK Jr. is the DK we know.
That is also correct.
>Lady was rescued by Jumpman, Mario and Luigi's grandfather.
Jumpman cannot be Mario and Luigi's grandfather unless he broke up with Lady. Otherwise, Mario and Pauline cannot be in love because they would be related.
>Bananza takes place years before Odyssey.
That can't be true, because there would be contradictions.
>It's all a generational thing.
This is correct.

>>717646808
>>717646882
There are fossils of Lady's accessories from the arcade Donkey Kong games.
>8-Bit Items
>"A fancy hat, purse, and parasol from days gone by. They may have been left behind by an elegant lady."

>>717646882
I care

Does anyone have the image where pauline is sticking her ass in Mario's face while peach cries in the background? It was a variant on the "superior mediterranean gf inferior nordic gf" meme.

>>717640904 (OP)
that depends on whether new lives maintain any brain damage he takes, while hes rich as fuck his main form of income is bashing his skull into bricks

>>717646735
Your headcanon doesnt count no see no canon

>>717640904 (OP)
>>717645110
>He knows he cant compete with the dong
Mario already won vs Dk and made him seethe over Pauline.

>>717645110
>>717648032
Candy kong is now Donkey kong's only love interest whenever they bring her back, dk would be a pedo otherwise.

>Mario lore
Please God no

>>717648252
>filtered by Mario lore

>>717648252
Yes please.

>>717648713
Good, concise and easy-to-read way of telling the lore.

>>717649075
There's this too.

>>717649204
Who's DK the third? Is he the one from the Rare series, or is he a new one?
Cranky was the original, I thought DK was his son.

>>717650104
Rare DK could either be DK Jr. or DK III, and it wouldn't affect the timeline.

>>717650104
>>717650349

>>717646524
Only Chunky got deleted from canon

>>717640904 (OP)
So they're finally here, ready to fuck you.
If you suck their cocks, you can slurp their goo
Put your knees together, and your hands on your lap
As these monkeys make those asscheeks clap
Huh!!

DK! Donkey Kong!!

He's the leader of the bunch, you know him well
He's finally back to fuck some ass!
His "Coconut Gun" can fire hot spurts
If he fucks ya, it's gonna hurt
He's harder, longer, and thicker too
His is the best member of the DK crew
Huh!

DK! Donkey Kong! DK! Donkey Kong is here!

This Kong's got style, so look up her nudes!
She will suck and fuck, she isn't rude!
She's quick and nimble hopping into bed
She can lick on your sack and stroke your head
If you fuck her, you'll not last long
With a suck and a fuck, she's one cool Kong
Huh!

DK! Donkey Kong!

He has small penis, it's like a chode
But Kong blows a massive load
He can fuck hard when he needs to
And empty his balls, just for you
Inflate some bitch, just like a balloon
This crazy Kong is like a fountain of goo!
Huh!

DK! Donkey Kong! DK! Donkey Kong is here!

He's hard again and about time too
And this time he's in the mood
He can fuck real long with his cockring on
With his ballsack out, he's one rough Kong
You'll grit your teeth when he enters you
But Kremlings beware 'cause he'll fuck them too!
Huh!

DK! Donkey Kong! Huh!

Finally, he's here for you
It's the last member of the DK crew
His cock's so long, it isn't funny
Makes Kremlin bitches grow a big tummy
Can widen your butthole with relative ease
Makes splitting ass seem such a breeze
He may fuck slow, he can't fuck long
But this Kong's got a giant schlong!
Huh!

C'mon Cranky, fuck me in the ass!

Ballsack, penis, pained anal yelps!
Rape, melons, forced creampies, frantic cries for help!
Ahh yeah!!

>>717652763
The movies are separate universe from the games.

Lady and Pauline are the same characters. Watch the Arcade Donkey Kong documentary. They change her name to Pauline 1982. They even change her profession from an actress to singer when her got the name change.

>>717653451
There can be generations of Paulines.

>>717653451
Yeah, and Miyamoto himself has been vague about canonizing anything across timelines. It’s like Zelda rules but with less fanfare. “Lady” and “Pauline” being the same makes sense in the OG arcade sense, but that doesn’t mean every modern Pauline is 1:1 the same chick from DK ‘81-just like Jumpman evolved into Mario but isn’t strictly the same guy. Nintendo plays fast and loose with identity-it’s more brand consistency than lore accuracy.

Mario couldn’t handle her eccentric tendencies

>>717640904 (OP)
Yes, only an Italian would prefer a bimbo like Peach over Pauline

>>717655382
I’d find a way

>>717655382
>>717655484
>>717655897
What do they feed people in NDC for Pauline to turn out like this

>>717640904 (OP)
When Miyamoto dies, expect Peach to be canonized as Bowser Jr. de facto mother and get replaced by Pauline

>>717641745
>gets cucked by peach with bowser
>>717655897
>gets cucked by pauline with dk
fuck nintendo

>>717656462
I personally think that Nintendo should have New Pauline eventually become the next Mario, while Mario himself becomes Japanese Mickey Mouse.

>>717656780
>I personally think that Nintendo should have New Pauline eventually become the next Mario
That would backfire so badly lmao, no one wants to play with Pauline as a lead, unless its a Mario spin-off

>>717657025
Well then, maybe there can be a Pauline spinoff, that is basically Super Mario, but for women.

>DK left DK Isle for Ingot Isle to mine for Banadium Gems
>In the time he was gone someone raided DK Isle for the Kongs' Golden Banana stash, forcing Cranky to leave with Rambi, tracking the thief
>Cranky figured he was chasing K. Rool, who's done this before, but the player is lead to believe that he's chasing Void, the primary banana thief in the game
>Except Void WAS the actual thief, he raided DK Isle before coming to Ingot Isle to fuel his digging machine
>And K. Rool is down there anyway so Cranky was right that he was down there, entirely by coincidence

>>717645110
Gorillas actually have tiny dicks, much smaller than humans'

>>717648117
>Dixie actually sort of implies romance between DK and Pauline in the japanese version

>>717655897
>tranny erp shit artist

>>717656510
>>gets cucked by peach with bowser
Bowser's a huge cuck
>>gets cucked by pauline with dk
The opposite, Donkey cuck kong >>717648032