Congratulations! You Typed "F*** You!"
Please accept this certificate of acknowledgement that you’ve participated in the storied history of the YOU DON’T KNOW JACK “F*** You” Easter Egg. Either you went looking for this, or you’re just a dirty bird that triggered this by accident. In any case, you did it, and we’re bound by the unbreakable chains of this legacy feature to let you know that we “see what you did there.” Good work.
When we launched the original YOU DON’T KNOW JACK, the world was a simpler place. Colors were brighter. People seemed to laugh a lot more in those days. And the idea of a computer game talking to you like a real person was brand new. We thought it only made sense that if you swore at the host, he’d say, "F*** me? No, f*** you!" and take away a bunch of cash. Except we didn’t bleep it because we were a bunch of young mavericks.
But even in that first game, if you did it twice, we pointed out how unoriginal you were. Three times and we just ended the game. The problem is, once you establish a bit like that, you kind of have to do it in the sequels too.
So, we did pretty much the same joke in the subsequent games, trying to top the absurdity each time. We changed player names. Old Man got involved. Schmitty swore a lot. In Lost Gold, we included the hidden game Gorilla Hunter. And in Headrush, Abraham Lincoln had sex with a goat. Maybe? We asked Andy Poland about it and he said "That's what happens when you direct, host and do SFX for a game. No one intervenes." The point is, it’s hard to top that one.
Which brings us to today. You gave us the same setup and you want a new punchline. Is this a cry for help? Is it the only way you can truly feel alive? Well, we hope you found what you were looking for somewhere in here. Oh, we almost forgot the abuse: You’re dumb! There we go.
And one final thing… (links to this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEDIkKXPIHs )
