Thread 718237576

>claims to be Medieval Fantasy
>the nobility are a Jacobin caricature of a hedonistic upper class
>instead of an actual WARRIOR class, who live in RURAL fortifications and manors and train for war or engage in war all of the time
>adventurers are either poor, discriminated vagabonds or prophesized chosen heroes
>Elves, Half-Elves, whatever race is a stand-in for the Elves, gnomes, halflings and the Fae in general are completely intermixed with the normal population of civilizations and have nothing mystical, mysterious or dangerous about them
>goblin are cute and tricksters, instead of evil, but they are still discriminated against or seen as "worthy of genocide", despite basically being trickster fae creatures
>leather armor meme
>the king has absolute authority over every "citizen" of the kingdom, instead of being the first among equals of higher nobility, who has to negotiate with them instead of making orders
>every person living in a city is a citizen, instead of only people capable of military service, who have sworn an oath to protect and fight for their city
>faceless, nameless city guard meme
>bandit gangs attacking anyone on sight, instead of the retinue of a knight, who lives in a watch tower and asks for tolls from anyone trying to cross his territory
>European-coded nobles have no inherent advantage over soldiers, despite being a born warrior class, who train since birth to be warriors, but the warrior classes of other cultures (like Samurai) do have that advantage
>English accents, English names, modern English or fake-old-timey English
>no German, French, Italian names, despite them being the core of Medieveal Europe
>obligatory "peasants stink, are diseased and poor", despite this being a myth by the Victorians to make themselves feel better about the horrendous, sickly living conditions, which for the Urban poor were as bad as the worst sweat shops in Asia, when the Industrial Revolution started

>>718237576 (OP)
Creativity is dead. Now it's just propaganda and regurgitation.
The slowboiling of evil continues.

>>718237576 (OP)
Realism does not make for a fun game or setting

>>718237576 (OP)
do south africans really look like this?

>>718237809
Only the cute and traumatized ones

>>718237876
I'd be traumatized if I was a white minority in a predominantly black country.

>>718238010
You don't actually know this character's history do you?

>>718237576 (OP)
>Dutch animation series
>German filename
FIRST YOU TOOK OUR BICYCLES AND NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO TAKE OUR ANIMATED SOUTH AFRICANS!

>>718238417
No no no, I support you! I am glad you have your own dutch anime! I hope you do more!

Honestly the best you're getting is the first Kingdom Come. The first game still has murderhobo bandits but it solves a lot of your other complaints.

>>718237576 (OP)
>>>/tg/

>>718238772
>magical horse
>you can permanently stay at inns, if you pay once
>extra-dimensional storage chest
>civilians are harmless
>murderhobo bandits, whose only profession is being bandits
>no taxes, tithes and tolls, you can go anywhere you want
>game's tutorial has you cave the face of the feudal lord in, who is going to inherit the very town you are in, because "laws also apply to the nobility and have to be autistically followed to the letter"
>every single bath house is a dodgy thai massage place, which offers happy endings
>you can't donate to the poor
>no routine, no church service, no obligations, you are only ever busy following quests
>break the entire game's economy by going to the spots where NPC groups spawn and loot their equipment
>you can murder everyone and just receive a 14-day prison sentence
That's not even mentioning the weird woke sequel, which features a Wakandan for history-fags (Mali is to historians what Wakanda is for marvelfags, it's sold as this mega-advancend african kingdom for some reason in pop history)

Why is she orange

>>718239512
If the Dutch had the ability to do it, they would make everyone in their country turn orange.

>>718237576 (OP)
>>English accents, English names, modern English or fake-old-timey English
>>no German, French, Italian names, despite them being the core of Medieveal Europe
The UK is to Europe as Europe is to the world: the exemplar state, the clear leader, the core of civilisation. No shit it's the example people turn to. Sorry you had to find out this way, bud.

Raping Coco

>>718237576 (OP)
>>the king has absolute authority over every "citizen" of the kingdom, instead of being the first among equals of higher nobility, who has to negotiate with them instead of making orders
this one is irksome. being a king would've sucked. like being the speaker of the house of commons in the uk. force the actually influential people to follow the baseline rules and to talk to and compromise with each other. so boring.

I wish to forcefully insert my penis in Mymys butthole while she curses me in barely concealed japanese, if you catch my drift.

>>718240963
I made this post

>>718239671
>>718239512

>>718241263
>>718239671
>>718238632
>>718237576 (OP)
BWC sluts

>>718241715
Wasn't it bmw?

I miss 2019-2021 /qa/

>>718239497
>it's sold as this mega-advancend african kingdom for some reason
You know the reason.

>>718237576 (OP)
I can get on with many of your points, but you lost me at goblins.
Goblins are our wives, and you can't convince me otherwise.

>>718242386
>"Goblins are our wives!"
>Posts the fucking castrator herself

>>718241229
No. It's just that the position of king doesn't automatically make you powerful. Your power depends on your competence and your personal connections. It's not granted to you for free.

>>718242386
Why do you want fae creatures to be so mundane? Isn't that boring?

Posting goblins.

>>718242762
I could post a few other creatures that could make up for them.

>>718242762
Goblins are not usually fae or otherwise mystical.

>>718242759
Here's a better one for you, then.

>>718237576 (OP)
But Jaconins were right about everything. Warrior class was a thing in early medieval period, by the end of 18th century they were a bunch of entitled fucks.

>>718237576 (OP)
>"Medieval" Fantasy
For some reason you decided to ignore the "Fantasy" part

i mainly just hate that every single modern medieval fantasy game has every single character looking extremely royal and fashionable, its like every single person involved in the visual design is a faggot or a woman, or a faggot woman. and i guess the writing and everything else you say is also gay as a result but just on its face it all looks so fucking gay its hard to take any of it seriously
what the fuck happened to the masculine medieval fantasy of the 80's and 90s

also all the women are covered head to fucking toe in the most unsexy bullshit you can possibly imagine

faggots and women have destroyed everything

>>718243342
Sure i'll take this gobbo.

>>718243315
Most of the time they're just little smelly guys.

>>718243315
A cute goblin girl is basically far closer to being one of the fae than being a misshapen, evil creatures, born of fake-life and ruled over by an evil overlord. Especially if she has a trickster personality, who wants to trick Human men by sometimes stealing from them and sometimes having sex with them. Coomers actually are consistent with fae lore, when it comes to that. The only problem is their absurd fantasies of wanting to marry one of these creatures or trying to make them join Human civilization. Rather they should just disappear into a Goblin hole with their wife and never come out again. That would be more appropiate for a fantasy world.

>>718243592
Sword & Sorcery really was peak

>>718243668
Right on.

Why does anything fantasy related always end up in goblin posting? Not that i'm complaining.

>>718239671
Oh, so THAT'S why the call it the House of Orange

>>718239765
The UK is closer to the US or Canada culturally than any actual European nation

>>718243724
A fair compromise.

>>718237576 (OP)
Zeena if she human

>>718243926
Goblins tend to rile up the people who don't like them being sexualized. That makes them good for scaring some people off and bringing others in.

Describe the smell of goblins.

>>718237576 (OP)
>"medieval fantasy"
>goblins instead of bipedal rabbits

corn on the gob

>>718245095
take your boring normie nigger tier bloat ass shortstack garbage gooner goblins and shove them far up your ass

>>718245521
Yeah what the fuck is that shit. It doesn't even have nuns harvesting cock fruits from trees.

>>718245724
HOLY BASED

>>718245243
salty bags of milk coins

>>718245243
Summer swamp ass.

>>718245521
Why not both?

>>718237809
No they look more like this

>>718237576 (OP)
You forgot grey / brown colorless world with torches and ripped rags everywhere, in a time when people loved to be colorful and well dressed, and the lantern was preferred for its safety.
>obligatory "peasants stink, are diseased and poor", despite this being a myth by the Victorians to make themselves feel better about the horrendous, sickly living conditions, which for the Urban poor were as bad as the worst sweat shops in Asia, when the Industrial Revolution started
Monty Python and the Holy Grail has done severe damage here.

>>718245724
No.

>OP tries to make a thread about a german youtube cartoon
>goblinfags takes over the thread

>>718242762
Goblins are latinas.

>>718237576 (OP)
Cant have such setting , and you know why.

>>718243724
>Rather they should just disappear into a Goblin hole with their wife and never come out again. That would be more appropiate for a fantasy world.
yes but you see, I can fix her.
Luv will prevail

>>718247379
As it should be.

>>718247379
The germans are extinct.
They were exterminated after WW2. Why post about them?

>>718247379
>german
It's dutch, you uncultured lout.

>>718248549
lesser germany is still germany

>>718247631
There's always a chance you can fix her.

>>718248684
Once she's pregnant she'll have a sudden realization about the rest of her life and it will be a wholesome shock.
She will be a good wife who manages the home and beats intruders to death with magic sticks while I am doing my soulless grindjob for the local bank's translation department.

>>718248549
Same thing

>what if Salad Fingers was cute girls
How did Ongezellig get so popular?

>>718249092
>How did Ongezellig get so popular?
what if Salad Fingers was cute girls

>>718248886
Surely.

>>718243397
The nobility of much of Europe were still a (mostly) warrior class all the way until WW1 where trench warfare did to them what it did to the rest of the population. The nobles who were left are the decadent and limp wristed variety we still have today. A bunch of faggoty bean counters who don’t care about national identity so much as they do line go up.

>>718249723
Custom built by the gods themselves for the sole purpose of standing perpendicular clothed paizuri.

>>718249939
This is very much true.

>stinky smelly disguting goblins
>not your loyal wholesome and cute halflings

>>718250606
this but unironically

>>718250303
You gotta love it.

>>718239497
what do you mean wakanda, look at this wonder of mali architecture
europeans could never

>>718251160
That thing looks like it's a Gremlin
They are the worst, second are frog-nose gobbies

>>718242386
>>718242759
You are telling me that someone made an actual goblin that’s all about castration?

>>718248136
Now that’s greedy goblin but she is a neet that only wants sex

>>718252434
yeah but she would never castrate ME tho

>>718252434
Nah, the neets just want someone to cosplay with.

>>718250763
Goblins are best because you get the loyal and cute part but also the smelly part.

Name 5 goblin games

I LOVE goblins and shortstacks.

>>718253987
I can think of some but they aren’t about sexy goblins

>>718254538
Then hold your tongue.

>>718237576 (OP)
>he thinks only French knights are nobility

>>718253767
>goblins
>loyal

>>718237576 (OP)
Google "high fantasy vs low fantasy -ai"

>>718257052
just like all women desu

>>718257052
>tfw you will never be a moderately wealthy human brigand with a harem of dumb dependent angry goblinas who drain your balls only out of transactional material necessity

>>718242020
It will never be recaptured. For a couple of years it was the most fun you could have online

>>718242020
truly it was something else

>>718257378
I'd imagine a goblin would be marginally more loyal than your average woman.

>>718237576 (OP)
'g 'n 'e 'g

>>718253987
Corruption of Champions.

>>718258353
>time to get fucked stud
i loved hate fucking tanya in the forest

Can't believe anyone actually played CoC.
It's such drivel.

>>718258564
There wasn't quite as much body modification/futanari/monster girl material in the past. It was a foundational piece that helped inspire what would come after.

>>718258681
There were decent smut writers even back then, plus there used to be a bunch of niche ERP chatrooms.
I haven't really played many fetish videogames because most of them suck in my estimation, but if CoC is being considered a 'foundational piece' then I guess it was over for the genre before it began.

>>718258564
yeah lots of people played it. what made it good was going into different areas and fucking monster ladies once defeated

What a horrible, horrendous thread

>>718237576 (OP)
>faceless, nameless city guard meme
I want this in every fantasy game. Fuck you.

>>718260147
shut up girlie

>>718259071
Indeed, there have always been small, well hidden groups and able writers that are difficult to find for even a skilled web surfer.
Do you know what CoC was? Easy to access. It also had a customizable player character, covered a range of fetishes, and had at least a little bit of good writing here and there.
And look. We've got plenty of works in those genres now.

>>718237804
Did he say that? He critisized how these games are calling themselfes "medieval" when nothing in them has actual resemblence to medieval times except for cliches stemming from modern pop-culture.

Besides, who said realism doesn't make for a fun setting? Imagine im nobles were actually capable warriors that you have to take seriously in combat instead of just tea-sluping, inbred hedonistic assholes and "le evil white men"-stand ins.

Video games.

>>718260147
Nah, it's pretty good.

>>718257052
Goblins have such an attitude.

>>718243967
the reason why carrots are orange is in honor of the house of orange

>>718248549
deutsch, germany, same thing

>>718237576 (OP)
What is the leather armor meme?

>>718266129
Go to any historyfag youtube channel. One of their oldest videos is probably going to be either about "ridiculous overdesigned fantasy weapons" or the leather armor meme.

In history there was never any leather armor. It's a complete fiction invented by Dungeons and Dragons. It's probably not even their fault, maybe they meant to refer to the real thing, but players interpreted it differently. The closest thing to leather armor is a leather cuirass, which has some sort of metal on it for protection, like metal plates. The other closest thing to it would be a Gambeson, which was the core part of any kind of armor. Everyone, even knights wearing armor, would always wear a Gambeson underneath. It's basically cloth armor, but thick and very padded. Many levies could only afford a Gambeson and nothing else, so also in a mechanical way Gambeson fits the realistic version of what leather armor is supposed to be, because it's the cheapest armor you can afford. Even though it's technically cloth armor and not leather armor. It's also what makes all of the archery/crossbow tests, where pop historians prove that plate armor could be pierced, useless, because they are only ever testing their weapons on naked plate armor, which has nothing underneath, not even a fake person (and you would never wear armor on your naked skin). To prove that you could hurt a knight with a long bow (which has never been historically proven, where they were wearing their full armor AND had their visors down), you would have to pierce his armor and all of the padding underneath, which is physically impossible.

>>718267842
No kidding. Everyone already knows that.

>>718269812
Unironically most people don't

>>718267842
It happened because they saw a brigadine and didn't realize it had metal plates under the top layer. Though for what it's worth, people did use leather for protection in certain contexts just like we do today, just less often due to the cost, and it's not actual armor you would wear into battle.

>>718267842
How do you even fight in this shit without dying from heat stroke after 30 seconds

>>718243719
I wish this queer drew more thicc hairy gobbos instead of faggot shit.

>>718249939
>>718250427
I wonder what the world would be like today if the slaughterhouse that was WW1 hadn't happened.

>>718237576 (OP)
Your mistake anon is that you think that this kind of "fantasy" is made in image of europe, whilst actualy it's reskined china. All of this tropes come from chinese/japanese literature, it's just copypasted over what asians perceive as "european" visual style.

>>718272251
Good point. Yeah, the metal plates aren't always visible on a brigadine.

>>718272567
That does indeed suck. I heard LARPers sometimes soak themselves in cold water to cool down.

>>718273008
I am pretty sure it all started with DnD.

It's sad that there's no game where you breed goblin wives to make goblin armies to fight and get more goblin wives.

>>718273467
I did actually play a CYOA, where my strategy was to hire Goblin alchemists to help me create new monsters in the breeding pits for my Dungeon Lord.