Thread 718311960

Choose wisely your life depends on it.

Druid assuming she's a cute redhead/ginger with green eyes.

druid's gonna rape me with her futa cock and fill me with her vitality

Why the fuck is a wizard doing alchemy and not an alchemist? I can't trust any of these bastards, gimme the Rogue's good ol splash of the clear stuff and a rag.

>>718311960 (OP)
The one that's brown and from the same place as me.

>>718311960 (OP)
Who has the biggest bush?

Don't want any help from knife-ears
I'm not exactly a good person, and the paladin would have an issue with that
I guess that leaves the wizard lady

>>718312137
>druid's gonna rape me with her futa cock and fill me with her vitality

>>718312495
paladin

>>718311960 (OP)
The rogue actually looks like she's concerned for my well-being compared to the other three.

>>718311960 (OP)
I secretly heal myself, then pretend to let the wizard girl heal me so I can romance her.

>>718311960 (OP)
Why are they all girls?
Do you have an obsession with girls, OP?
Does it border on, dare I say it, autogynephilia?

No contest.

>>718311960 (OP)
i'll go with pally

>>718312762
>looking at girls is autogynephilia
why is this board like this

>>718313494
Anything for a (you)

What side effects will the wizard's potion have?

>>718311960 (OP)
None, I would never trust a female to heal me.

>>718313742
you shrink down to the size of todd howard for 1 month

>>718313742
turn you into a woman and if you want to stay like that you need to take continual doses or you will return to be a man

>>718311960 (OP)
Holy magic and Nature magic usually come with strings attached, like I need to be a good person or respect nature or some shit. Also Rogue might hold me in her dept after spending her First aid items on me.

Wizard it is

>>718311960 (OP)
If I'm on deaths door the paladin.
Would choose alchemy for day to day questing though

>>718311960 (OP)
Where is the necromancer option?

>>718313927
>You now remember that book where Elmister was turned into a woman by Mystra in return for healing him. And he had to get better at magic to turn himself back

>>718313747
So true, same reason I refuse female 'doctors'

>>718314247
>Elmister was turned into a woman by Mystra
is anyone supposed to know who these names are referring to

>>718311960 (OP)
>Paladin
You'd probably feel your wounds cauterize with agonizing and burning pain as the sensation slowly turns to one of pleasant warmth.
>Druid
The fastest, quick cellular regeneration. Probably reduces your lifespan in the long run, though.
>Wizard
Wild card. Fast, but likely to overdose or have some kind of unwanted side effect.
>Rogue
Reliable, but slow. You'll feel like shit for weeks as you recover the old fashioned way.

I'll take the paladin, the burning sensation will suck but I've clearly already been fucked close to death as-is so may as well just go through it once more.

>>718314279
>>718313747
what if the healing process involved her touching your trluse

>>718311960 (OP)
>wanting to get healed by a roastie
Women make poor doctors. I'd drag my dying ass to the nearest male priest.

>>718314370
Yes.

>>718311960 (OP)
Druid > Paladin > Wizard > Rogue
Isn't it obvious? Maybe in some settings the paladin would be better, but you could never trust a wizard or rogue to do everything they can to heal you or even if they could heal you at all.

>>718315215
Bro wants some healing cock
What a fag

>>718316810
he will give me the good painkillers and no nonsense while a bathe in holy magic while your waifu will give you a kidney stone with her druidic traditional medicine and will ask him for help later anyway

>>718313847
Dear God no that extra inch is what makes me King of All Dwarves

>>718313927
What if you get pregnant?

>>718314370
Embarrassing

>>718311960 (OP)
Wizard. The smug doesn't lie.

>>718311960 (OP)
>rogue blatantly has medical supplies that will heal you
>wizard has an ominous potion, sure might be good
>druid is just blowing some leaves around
>paladin literally has a fucking hammer and will try to smash you to death in order to 'heal' you

>>718311960 (OP)
My initial reaction was paladin but if they're going 2h they aren't holy spec so uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh druid i guess

>>718318612
>paladin literally has a fucking hammer and will try to smash you to death in order to 'heal' you
WRONG!
>https://www.wowhead.com/classic/item=18717

Which one would give you back the most HP out of the four healing you?

>>718311960 (OP)
paladins are always retard-proof, any idiot can play them

>>718312495
wizard. it's from a potion. don't ask.

>>718319451
Wizard > Paladin > Druid > Rogue
First aid is going to give the bare minimum. Druid's healing is specialized for AoE. Paladin isn't as good as Cleric, so Wizard wins for having the most healing, regardless of side effects.

>>718311960 (OP)
Druid because feet

>shit tier
Wizard. Good job digesting a potion before you bleed to death.
>Mid tier
Rogue. It might be mundane first aid, but it has a chance of working.
>High tier
Druid. It'll put you back together, but nature magic may come with strange caveats.
>Top tier
Paladin. Divine intervention, not gonna explain shit.

>>718311960 (OP)
>Wizard
Cute girl with big hat. Even if I die I die happy.
Other choices:
>Rogue
Will just finish you off for your gold. NEVER trust rogues.
>Druid
Hippy bullshit, will likely come with a price, such as swearing fealty to some nature god. Even if she means well I don't trust herbal remedies.
>Paladin
Probably could heal you, but wouldn't be the best suited.

rogue so she can rub me with the cloth

>>718312762
>beig hetero means you have agp
Man you schizos really got mindbroken by the existence of trannies.

>>718311960 (OP)
I'm sorry bros... This wizard girl is too smug, I'll have to submit...

>>718311960 (OP)
Paladin should have Revivify so I'll go with her.

>>718311960 (OP)
Wizard.
I need Paladin to tank whoever critically wounded me, and I'm not trusting a hippie or a thief.

the wizard would heal my injuries and the druid would heal my soul

>>718311960 (OP)
While the three magic users have their own inscrutable means and goals, the rogue probably just wants my money and she's carrying something that is actually designed to heal people. While I can't trust her necessarily, I'm sure she knows I'm more useful to her alive than dead. So I'll let her heal me.

>>718311960 (OP)
Rogue.

Paladin has an indifferent "yeah sure, and why should I give a fuck?" look on their face.
Druid has an ecstatic "ooh! new convert to the cause!" look.
Wizard has a smug "ooh! new guinea pig!" look
Rogue is the only one actually looking concerned.

>>718320564
I mean its literally a mind virus transmitted through gaslighting and psychological manipulation. Thats why they kill themselves. The guilt not just the shame.

>>718320717
I fully agree…but just look at how genki that druid girl is! I must submit to both of them. The wizard can pour her potion down my throat while the druid pats my back and goes “yoshi yoshi”

Paladin Pros
>Healing will be effective
>Will not try to mess it up because she is honor bound to do no evil
Paladin Cons
>Is VERY religious and will likely preach to you
>Will try to recruit you to her cause or, at the very least, guilt you into doing community service
>Chaste. So no potential for snu snu unless you prove yourself worth of marrige first. It will be hard

Druid Pros
>Healing will be effective
>Has lots of fun drugs that also improve recovery (but are mainly fun)
>Might randomly decide to snu snu you
Druid Cons
>Is a hippie. Very liberal when it comes to sexual partners besides you
>Might try to mess up the healing if you have not lived a life that sufficiently respects nature
>Might randomly decide to snu snu you

Wizard Pros
>Healing has a chance to make you stronger and more powerful that you were before
>High potential for snu snu
>Mommy energy
Wizard Cons
>Healing can kill you or have unintended consequences
>Won't commit and if you get her pregnant, she will raise the child by herself

Rogue Pros
>Actually cares about you personally
>Wants to adventure and have a relationship with you
>Loves you
Rogue Cons
>Healing is the least effective out of all the options
>If you die in her care, she will blame herself for letting it happen and it will emotionally destroy her

sex with dryads

>>718314370
even if you're not into D&D you at least should have played BG3

>>718311960 (OP)
Palading of course

>>718321907
zoomer moment

>>718322072
go to bed grandpa

>>718311960 (OP)
>TAKE ME TO A DOCTOR YOU DUMB BITCH

>>718311960 (OP)
I'm bleeding out, nothing short of a miracle is going to save me, hit me up Wizard!

>>718311960 (OP)
Depending on the injury, instantly healing might result in long term issues. Bones might not heal right, organs could be displaced, and that’s not even getting into the fact you could potentially cause cancer by reforming cells so rapidly.

>>718311960 (OP)
The paladin, at least she can cast revive on me if I do manage to die

>>718312067
My bg3 character was a redhead druid with green eyes but she was also a midget and i might've jerked off to her

>>718311960 (OP)
Paladin. First Aid will simply staunch the wound, and not cure it. Alchemy risks side effects. Nature Magic tends to be aligned with fickle fae. Holy Magic is safe and guaranteed effectiveness with no caveats. Plus, my preferred class in RPGs tends to be a dark mage type - Necromancers, Shadow Sorcerers, Hexers, etc., and in RPGs where I build a dark mage self-insert, I tend to have a cute Paladin girl as a bodyguard.