Thread 718607619

Java: Protestantism -
Unmodded Java: Mainline Protestants
Modded Java: Evangelicals

Legacy Console: Orthodoxy -
communion of the Xbox, Playstation, and Nintendo autocephalous churches, all under a common tradition.

Bedrock: Catholicism -
Pocket Editon - Latin Church
Xbox, Playstation, Nintendo Bedrock releases - Eastern Catholic Churches (all broke off from their legacy console communions to join the Bedrock pontiff)

Java Edition – Protestantism
Key Themes: Decentralization, Personal Interpretation, Reformation, Fragmentation

Java Edition is the original revelation — the "Scripture alone" of Minecraft. It emerged unbound by consoles or monetization systems, much like how early Protestant reformers sought freedom from ecclesiastical hierarchy.

Unmodded Java = Mainline Protestantism
Adheres to the core text (vanilla Minecraft), trusting that the original design is sufficient for a fulfilling experience.

Emphasizes stability, ethics, and tradition within the bounds of reform.

Examples: Methodism, Lutheranism, Presbyterianism — not flashy, but deep and enduring.

Modded Java = Evangelicalism / Non-Denominationalism
Believes that a personal relationship with the code (or the Creator) is central.

Embraces a highly individualized experience: magic systems, space travel, industrialization, new dimensions.

Modpacks are like evangelical megachurches — dynamic, immersive, and often overwhelming.

Just as Evangelicals vary widely in beliefs, modded servers can be anything from hardcore realism to anime roleplay.

Java's gift is freedom — and with that, a thousand servers and doctrinal interpretations. Some call it chaos. Others, reformation.

Legacy Console Edition – Eastern Orthodoxy
Key Themes: Tradition, Autocephaly, Conservatism, Discontinuity with Modernization

Legacy Console editions were regional churches bound to their hardware: Xbox 360, PS3, Wii U — each one operating semi-independently but sharing a liturgical structure (i.e., interface, update cycles, and game mechanics). Like Orthodoxy, they:

Emphasized ritual consistency — everything from crafting interfaces to tutorial worlds followed strict templates.

Received occasional updates from 4J Studios (their “Patriarchate”), but the timeline was often irregular and eventually ceased altogether — much like some Orthodox churches’ resistance to modernization.

Maintained spiritual distinction from the Bedrock Church, refusing to adopt its universalizing codebase.

These were autocephalous churches, unique in culture yet united in form. They were never meant to reform — only to preserve.

Bedrock Edition – Roman Catholicism
Key Themes: Universality, Central Authority, Tradition with Innovation, Synodality

Bedrock Edition represents the Catholic Church: one universal version, governed from a centralized seat of authority — Mojang/Microsoft (aka, the “Vatican of Code”). All platforms — mobile, PC, console — are brought into communion under one codebase and rule set.

Pocket Edition = Latin (Roman) Rite
The original form of Bedrock, like the Latin Church, started in humble circumstances — the small, minimalistic Pocket Edition.

Over time, it became the foundation of Bedrock theology — everything else is built on this original rite.

From mobile beginnings, it now defines the core of Bedrock liturgy.

Bedrock Console Ports = Eastern Catholic Churches
Formerly part of the Legacy Console Orthodox Communion, these churches (Xbox One, PS4, Switch) entered into full communion with Bedrock.

They retain platform-specific quirks (custom UI, local performance issues), but accept the universal doctrines of Bedrock: the Marketplace, Realms, crossplay.

Like the Maronite or Ukrainian Catholic Churches, they maintain tradition while acknowledging the authority of the Bedrock "pontiff."

Bedrock is one, holy, catholic, and cross-platform. It is the church of Marketplace indulgences, the Realms confessional, and the unified codebase

Where does 3DS edition fall under
It doesn't really fit with either pocket edition or legacy console and is kind of its own short-lived thing

what possible demographic of human being would you have to even be to be able to make inferrences between "christian denomination steriotypes" and "release versions of the video game Minecraft"

On the one hand, only the boomiest burgroid would give a fuck about christianity flavors, but then zoomy tardboy?

OP Must be a grandparent or something.
Pity reply for at least not using ChatGPT to write all this. Well earned.

What was the last good Minecraft version?

>>718609251
IDK, Oriental Orthodox for 3ds edition? Although saying that feels like an insult to the Oriental Orthodox

>>718609530
>Pity reply for at least not using ChatGPT to write all this. Well earned.
I see a lot of em dashes, Anon.

>>718610603
I came up with the analogy and wrote the op, but the replies I gave elaborating are from me giving the analogy to chatgpt and telling it to expand on it

>>718611170
well ya got me fair and square, I will now kill myself in disgrace

>>718609530
You know that there are young people into Christianity, right? Like this guy: https://youtube.com/@redeemedzoomer

No, here's the truth:

Catholicism is Java
Orthodox is Legacy Console
Bedrock is Protestant

>>718607619 (OP)
Mojang stole my money, I am glad they're being sued.

>>718607619 (OP)
Legacy console is the only one uncorrupted by modern Mojang/Microsoft

>>718607619 (OP)
Sola scriptura is a funny concept. Not even the main gospels are coherent. And the scriptures didn't fall from heaven, they were translated, modified over 2000 years. They are a result of tradition. And there needs to be an authority who decided which part of the bible is bullshit and shouldn't be canon

>>718611709
Buy an ad fag

What about this one?

>>718607619 (OP)
Dude, how did you fuck this up? Obviously, Java is Catholic. I am a professor of theology and officiated priest and I want you to know that you are definitely going to spend eternity in hell for these posts.

>>718615040
IDK, Oriental Orthodox for 3ds edition? Although saying that feels like an insult to the Oriental Orthodox. 3DS Edition is at least still true Minecraft, unlike that heretical Minecraft Dungeons (which would be Mormonism)

>>718607619 (OP)
One thing all denominations agree on is that we should judge by the fruit of the tree, “you will know them by their fruit”, then let's compare the fruit that the 2 most important denominations have given us:
Catholicism:
>Practiced by violent 3rd world shit skins mostly
>Created Mexicans
>The fringe branches of catholicism are a syncretism between black magic, native practices and sacrificial rituals to Santa Muerte
Protestantism:
>Practiced in white countries, 1st World countries
>Lay the foundations for democracy, natural science and America
>Mormonism, the most relevant fringe branch of protestantism is a cult to American exceptionalism that teaches racial consciousness and exhorts white people to have children
Conclussion: Protestantism is based, catholicism is brown

>>718607619 (OP)
> Java: Catholic.
> Unmodded Java: Orthodox.
> Modded Java: Protestants.
> Legacy Console: Watchtower.
> Bedrock: Mormons.
> Pocket Edition: Gnostics.
> New Releases: Charismatics.
There you go lol. Latin Church is just catholics but spanish.

>>718615701
> Java: Catholic.
> Unmodded Java: Orthodox.
> Modded Java: Protestants.

Huh? This doesnt make sense, Catholicism isn't a combination of Protestantism and Orthodoxy

>>718615840
Catholic was the OG from which the two splinter groups came out of, Orthodox (east) and then in the west later Protestants. They have the same root of Catholic in them directly that's why.

>>718615939
Then a working analogy for that would be
Catholic = Java
Orthodox = Legacy Console
Bedrock = Protestant

>>718614406
> No I need my catholic pedopriest to tell me how to view the things not found in the bible as factual and canon to the bible or its not true and legit christianity!
Get out catholic. If you can't point your reasonings out from the scripture itself through quotes and reasonings afterwards that play with them without adding any verbiage that wasn't there then you fail to understand the scripture and are making up lies yourself.
> This church (Catholicism) was created by God because Peter/Paul etc etc etc.
Never stated it was the Catholic church that was formed then, there was no name for the church only Apostles of Jesus Christ and the Followers of Jesus Christ. Man, get your ass out of your head canon.

>>718616523
Wrong, because Protestants modded Catholic church concepts for their own view on the bible, Orthodox wanted to maintain the original Catholic church dogma but were given a ban/excommunication due political reasons nothing else really.

Ok but why is redstone worse in protestanism?

>>718607619 (OP)

Catholics broke off from Orthodox to "innovate" so Bedrock is Orthodox.

>>718607619 (OP)
So does this make infinite worlds the filioque? And would tutorial worlds be the essence/energy distinction? :)

>>718614623
repent sperg

So what's satanism?

>>718607619 (OP)
Stop posting this. It's so retarded.

>>718618225
Anti-Something isn't a denomination of something jeet.

>>718618278
Why?

That's a lot of way to say golem branch for Jews

>>718619736
If Minecraft is Christianity, what games are Judaism and Islam?

>>718619456
Nobody else gets to spam shit and your retarded thread doesn't get to be spammed either.

>>718620046
Yet you allow e-celeb threads being spammed on 4chan, nice favoritism.

>>718620289
>me
You think I'm a janny?

>>718620343
Sounds like you got caught pants down. Not like there's much to see there.

>>718620726
>Not like there's much to see there.
Yeah, like in every single one of your 20+ threads about this retarded shit.

>>718620807
> Thinks I'm the OP.
yep, this is retarded enough to be a janitor.

>>718621284
If I was a jannie I could see who was the OP and who wasn't retard.

>>718621326
Janitors could still claim someone is the OP because they are that paranoid after being made fun off of.

>>718611709
On the one hand church is retarded but on the other hand zoomers are absolutely fucked inheriting this horror world so I don't begrudge them the urge to try to take shelter in a social ideology, even if it's retarded. I'm a gamer after all, so I know how these things work. Gotta get through this shit somehow and finding your tribe helps a little.

>>718621529
It's interesting how fandoms often act similarly to religions

Bump

>>718611709
Please do not mention that Pr*sbyterian heretic

>>718625243
What are you, catholic or orthodox?

>>718607619 (OP)
Bedrock is protestant because of how gay it is and how much it loves jews

Java Edition – Catholicism
Key Themes: Authority, Tradition, Development

The Catholic church of Minecraft.
Java carries an unbroken lineage back to the first versions, yet it is not frozen in time.
Through official updates (like the Magisterium), doctrine continues to unfold: caves deepen, oceans expand, mobs multiply.
Players recognize the authority of the core devs, even when updates spark debate.

It is Catholicism in code: ancient, authoritative, but still alive and adapting.

Legacy Console Edition – Eastern Orthodoxy
Key Themes: Tradition, Autocephaly, Preservation

Legacy Console was the Orthodox communion: Xbox, PlayStation, Nintendo — each autocephalous but sharing the same liturgy.
Updates once flowed from their patriarch (4J Studios), but development stopped.
What remains is a timeless rite: tutorials, UIs, and mechanics preserved like ancient chant.
Orthodoxy resists change; Legacy Console endures by being unchanging.

Bedrock Edition – Protestantism
Key Themes: Reformation, Accessibility, Multiplicity

The Reformation of Minecraft.
Where Java looks to tradition, Bedrock throws the doors open to everyone.
It runs on every device, in every language — no central authority, just accessibility.
Crossplay, Realms, and the Marketplace are its evangelical revivals: populist, modern, and easy to enter.

Bedrock thrives not by continuity, but by proliferation.

>>718628407
Thats unfair to traditional protestants

>>718629040
>>718629098
>>718629164
Sorry OP, this works way better

keep going, the 24th time is the charm

>>718622498
It's just basic human nature, people just want to form tight knit groups with something that unites them.

>>718632236
All 24 times are based, much better than the other threads here

What would Roblox be

>>718615701
>Pocket Edition: Gnostics
Can I get an elaboration?

>>718615701
So Legacy Console and Bedrock aren't true Minecraft?