Thread 718888846

Java: Protestantism -
Unmodded Java: Mainline Protestants
Modded Java: Evangelicals

Legacy Console: Orthodoxy -
communion of the Xbox, Playstation, and Nintendo autocephalous churches, all under a common tradition.

Bedrock: Catholicism -
Pocket Editon - Latin Church
Xbox, Playstation, Nintendo Bedrock releases - Eastern Catholic Churches (all broke off from their legacy console communions to join the Bedrock pontiff)

Java Edition – Protestantism
Key Themes: Decentralization, Personal Interpretation, Reformation, Fragmentation

Java Edition is the original revelation — the "Scripture alone" of Minecraft. It emerged unbound by consoles or monetization systems, much like how early Protestant reformers sought freedom from ecclesiastical hierarchy.

Unmodded Java = Mainline Protestantism
Adheres to the core text (vanilla Minecraft), trusting that the original design is sufficient for a fulfilling experience.

Emphasizes stability, ethics, and tradition within the bounds of reform.

Examples: Methodism, Lutheranism, Presbyterianism — not flashy, but deep and enduring.

Modded Java = Evangelicalism / Non-Denominationalism
Believes that a personal relationship with the code (or the Creator) is central.

Embraces a highly individualized experience: magic systems, space travel, industrialization, new dimensions.

Modpacks are like evangelical megachurches — dynamic, immersive, and often overwhelming.

Just as Evangelicals vary widely in beliefs, modded servers can be anything from hardcore realism to anime roleplay.

Java's gift is freedom — and with that, a thousand servers and doctrinal interpretations. Some call it chaos. Others, reformation.

Legacy Console Edition – Eastern Orthodoxy
Key Themes: Tradition, Autocephaly, Conservatism, Discontinuity with Modernization

Legacy Console editions were regional churches bound to their hardware: Xbox 360, PS3, Wii U — each one operating semi-independently but sharing a liturgical structure (i.e., interface, update cycles, and game mechanics). Like Orthodoxy, they:

Emphasized ritual consistency — everything from crafting interfaces to tutorial worlds followed strict templates.

Received occasional updates from 4J Studios (their “Patriarchate”), but the timeline was often irregular and eventually ceased altogether — much like some Orthodox churches’ resistance to modernization.

Maintained spiritual distinction from the Bedrock Church, refusing to adopt its universalizing codebase.

These were autocephalous churches, unique in culture yet united in form. They were never meant to reform — only to preserve.

Now THIS is the kind of autism I come here for.

Bedrock Edition – Roman Catholicism
Key Themes: Universality, Central Authority, Tradition with Innovation, Synodality

Bedrock Edition represents the Catholic Church: one universal version, governed from a centralized seat of authority — Mojang/Microsoft (aka, the “Vatican of Code”). All platforms — mobile, PC, console — are brought into communion under one codebase and rule set.

Pocket Edition = Latin (Roman) Rite
The original form of Bedrock, like the Latin Church, started in humble circumstances — the small, minimalistic Pocket Edition.

Over time, it became the foundation of Bedrock theology — everything else is built on this original rite.

From mobile beginnings, it now defines the core of Bedrock liturgy.

Bedrock Console Ports = Eastern Catholic Churches
Formerly part of the Legacy Console Orthodox Communion, these churches (Xbox One, PS4, Switch) entered into full communion with Bedrock.

They retain platform-specific quirks (custom UI, local performance issues), but accept the universal doctrines of Bedrock: the Marketplace, Realms, crossplay.

Like the Maronite or Ukrainian Catholic Churches, they maintain tradition while acknowledging the authority of the Bedrock "pontiff."

Bedrock is one, holy, catholic, and cross-platform. It is the church of Marketplace indulgences, the Realms confessional, and the unified codebase

I've said this before in this thread but Minetest is Satanism
fuck gods, fuck masters, fuck proprietary bullshit, be free (and open-source)

real

I guess 3ds edition could be oriental orthodox

I approve of your autism OP

>>718888870
>>718888954
>>718889020
>—
If I wanted to know ChatGPT's opinion, I would've asked it. Kill yourself.

>>718888846 (OP)
>Bedrock: Catholicism
No, what the fuck?

>>718891692
I came up with the analogy, I just had chatgpt expand on it

>>718888870
>Java Edition is the original revelation — the "Scripture alone" of Minecraft
That's a pretty deep stretch, but even assuming that you agree with that comparison, I think it is overly generous to say that Protestantism embodies the spirit of scripture alone, doubly so if you're talking about modern Protestantism

Neat autism overall OP, but I don't think it'll stand up to scrutiny, I'm sure people more versed in theology would tear this in many ways I can't even imagine. It's a pretty funny idea though, for what it's worth

>>718892485
Do you think having Java as Catholicism and Bedrock as Protestantism would be better?

>>718892485
Protestantism believe in Sola Scriptura, Orthodox and Catholics dont

Bump

>>718891260
That feels like an insult to the Oriental Orthodox

this place never seems to fail me does it? Always some time of unique autism that pops out that keeps the place going.